TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 10

Yu Wanwan’s slender hands tightly gripped her eunuch robe, her fingers twisting the fabric into knots.

 

“Servant…”

 

Before she could speak, Xianfei answered for her: “No need to be shy, just pick one of the four arts—music, chess, calligraphy, or painting. This consort knows you’re talented.”

 

Xianfei thought to herself that since Yu Zhongming was able to send Yu Wanwan into the palace, she must have been trained. Surely, music, chess, calligraphy, or painting wouldn’t be a problem.

 

As long as she performed something that caught the Battle King’s eye, everything would be fine.

 

Yu Wanwan’s face wrinkled like a chrysanthemum:

 

【 Xianfei, sis, listen to me. You should take three taels of silver, hire a carriage, and go to the Imperial Hospital to book an appointment with the neurology department.】

 

【Urgent care, Dr. Wen Taoyi is your guy!】

 

【I mean, if I can enter the palace as a eunuch, how could I have possibly studied all these arts?】

 

【Sis, you’re really making my uterus freeze and messing up my menstrual cycle out of frustration!】

 

Xianfei was stunned after hearing this. ??? She thought: How was I supposed to know that Yu Zhongming didn’t train you before sending you into the palace?

 

Oh well, since you’re here, just grit your teeth and get through it.

 

Liang Fei secretly rolled her eyes. This fool Xianfei has even confused my Yu Wanfu. He’s a eunuch, so if he’s angry, it should cause kidney deficiency, not uterine cold and menstrual disorder.

 

Besides, Wen Taoyi is my exclusive physician. If Xianfei needs help with her brain, she’ll have to find someone else—don’t try to involve me!

 

Yu Wanwan finally managed to choke out a response: “Servant… doesn’t have any special talents. Could I play an instrument?”

 

The Battle King’s tone was indifferent: “What instrument?”

 

“Drums…” Yu Wanwan responded quietly.

 

The Battle King waved two fingers, and soon someone brought out a war drum that was ten times the size of Yu Wanwan’s face.

 

Xianfei’s eyes lit up at the sight of the drum. Wow, this Yu Wanwan is really clever! She knows that the Battle King is an undefeated general on the battlefield, and war drums are crucial on the battlefield.

 

This performance is sure to win over the Battle King.

 

Yu Wanwan’s mouth twitched as she looked at the drum, which stood as tall as her waist.

 

【No, wait, what I meant was the waist drums that elderly folks dance with, the ones slung across their hips. Although I’m not that skilled, I could at least manage a waist drum performance or a bit of folk dance.】

 

【But this huge thing… am I supposed to carry it on my shoulder while dancing?】

 

Sweat covered Yu Wanwan’s palms as she gripped the drumsticks. She raised them and struck the drum hard, producing a deep, muffled sound.

 

Boom!

 

The force of the drum’s vibration numbed her wrists, and she couldn’t even hold onto the drumsticks properly.

 

With a clatter, the drumsticks fell to the ground.

 

Yu Wanwan almost burst into tears on the spot:

 

【Folks, the flying batons are here!】

 

【What the heck, no one told me this war drum was so powerful!】

 

Everyone stared in astonishment at Yu Wanwan. Was this how she performed with the Battle King’s war drum?

 

It’s over… she’s going to be dismembered by the Battle King—one part thrown on a mountain, one part in a lake, and the rest scattered somewhere to terrify some unlucky soul.

 

The Battle King narrowed his eyes, his gaze unreadable as he stared at Yu Wanwan: “Is this your talent?”

 

Yu Wanwan braced herself and explained, “Since I was a child, I’ve been good at ‘retreat drumming,’ where I strike once and then quickly run away.”

 

【No way, no way, do they really want me to perform a folk dance? This is too explosive!】

 

【Battle King, I know you love watching performances, but let’s be good and skip this one.】

 

The Battle King raised an eyebrow. What a coincidence! He was born rebellious; all 103 of his bones were rebellious. Don’t ask where the other half of his bones went— If you ask, it’s because there were too many rebellious bones, and they got broken.

 

“Is that your only talent?” the Battle King continued to ask.

 

Yu Wanwan nodded, “Servant is truly ignorant…”

 

“I don’t believe it.”

 

“…….” Yu Wanwan was speechless.

 

【I suggest renaming A Date with Luyu to A Date with the Battle King (a popular Chinese talk show).】

 

Yu Wanwan hesitantly asked, “Shall I perform another one then? As long as the prince won’t be too disgusted.”

 

【I’m going all out! Sorry, my fellow Northeastern friends, I’m going to perform the folk dance.】

 

The Battle King nodded and calmly spat out two words, “Go on.”

 

He was curious to see what this “folk dance” was all about.

 

Yu Wanwan immediately fished out two handkerchiefs from her pocket and then turned to the musicians, saying, “Play something lively and festive.”

 

The suona player lifted his chin with a knowing look on his face: “Leave it to me! If you want lively and festive, nothing beats the suona. If I do it right, I can play from your birth to your grave.”

 

As soon as the suona blared, Yu Wanwan bent her legs into a stance and raised her two handkerchiefs in the air, striking the pose for the folk dance.

 

She even added her own background music:

 

“Words are the gateway to trouble, the tongue is a knife that cuts the body; There’s no medicine for regret, give anyone spreading lies a lightning strike!”

 

“A blade of grass on the wall sways with the wind, don’t wait until disaster strikes to protect yourself; For those spreading falsehoods, give them a lightning strike!”

 

With the blaring suona and the fiery lyrics, the entire audience’s emotions were stirred.

 

Yu Wanwan unleashed her full potential on the stage, dancing with a wide grin as her handkerchiefs spun in perfect circles. Her eunuch robes flapped around wildly, and even her eunuch hat had been knocked askew from her dance.

 

“Come on, everyone, sing along with me~”

 

At first, the officials were like: What is this song?

 

Halfway through: Hey… this is kind of fun.

 

As soon as Yu Wanwan shouted out, they couldn’t help but sing along: “Give him a lightning strike!”

 

With the final round of “lightning strikes,” Yu Wanwan gathered her spinning handkerchiefs and perfectly ended the folk dance.

 

Dead silence. Even though the suona had stopped, everyone’s heads were still buzzing.

 

Xianfei’s mouth twitched, secretly complaining: Now my mind is full of lightning strikes. Why do I feel like Yu Wanwan’s lyrics were aimed at me?

 

Yu Wanwan bowed, holding up her eunuch robes: “Servant has finished the performance.”

 

The Battle King’s eyes lifted slightly at the corners: “Hmm, not bad.”

 

!!!

 

The Battle King, who rarely gave compliments, already considered it an act of great mercy not to tear people down. For him to actually say something was “not bad” was like a young maiden being carried in a bridal sedan chair for the first time!

 

Everyone’s gaze turned toward Yu Wanwan. This little eunuch really had some talent.

 

Suddenly, the emperor sitting above burst into laughter: “Hahaha, reward! That lightning strike performance was excellent!”

 

Yu Wanwan wiped the nervous sweat from her forehead and thanked him: “Servant thanks His Majesty.”

 

【That scared me to death! I almost thought the emperor was going to give me a lightning strike.】

 

But before Yu Wanwan could receive her reward, a flaming arrow shot through the air from outside the Hall of Supreme Harmony.

 

With a thunk, the arrow lodged deep into the war drum that had just been brought out by the Battle King’s men. The wooden war drum instantly caught fire.

 

Whoosh whoosh whoosh…

 

More flaming arrows wrapped in oiled cotton shot into the Hall of Supreme Harmony. The arrows indiscriminately pierced tables, pillars, and even people…

 

“Assassins! Protect the emperor!”

 

Screams echoed through the hall, and chaos erupted in an instant.

 

Yu Wanwan dodged the arrows while crawling stealthily on the ground.

 

【I just finished singing about lightning strikes, and now here come the fire arrows. The Battle King won’t think this is all my fault, will he?】

 

【I swear, Your Highness, I’m an upstanding citizen, a law-abiding citizen!】

 

The Battle King, though seated at the banquet without a weapon, grabbed a wine cup from the table. With a flick of his wrist, he accurately knocked away the incoming arrows.

 

With the sound of cracking and shattering, the arrows fell to the ground, reducing many injuries.

 

But in the next moment, a group of men in black charged into the Hall of Supreme Harmony, all wielding gleaming long knives.

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