Zhang Yuze looked like a stone sculpture, weathered by the cold winds screaming behind the door. Any moment now, he was ready to call the emergency services, sure as hell that Xu Li’s fever was at least over 40 degrees.
Was that something people could even say?!
“…Are you sick?” He blurted out.
Xu Li sat up straight from the sofa excitedly and said: “Dr. Zhang, do you still remember the school motto of our B University?”
Zhang Yuze followed his words and thought about it. It really was impossible to forget…
…Practice made true knowledge.
Xu Li’s eyes glowed, and he leaned forward, continuing with his fever speech: “Think about it, we study medicine, so we originally practiced true knowledge from the beginning. However, we both say that love does not exist every day, but without experiencing it! How can this explain the absolute truth?”
“So?” Zhang Yuze raised his eyebrows, unsure of what kind of medicine (or poison) Xu Li was selling in his gourd.
“Since you said that love comes from hormones, there is definitely nothing of that sort between us. So why don’t you give it a try to see if it has anything to do with hormones or not?” Xu Li continued to say nonsense in a very serious manner.
Yet Zhang Yuze snorted. Seeing that he didn’t agree, Xu Li began to play tricks again: “Dr. Zhang, you owe me a try. Come on…”
Zhang Yuze began to ponder. In the end, it seemed that Xu Li’s topic was not unacceptable. After all, Han Jinhang’s wedding was imminent. If talking about “fake love affairs” with Xu Li could wash away his past grievances in front of his friends, it didn’t seem to be such a big loss. Besides, the only reason he was reluctant to fall in love was because he lost faith. Since he was saddened by Shen Mo, he could no longer give wholeheartedly, afraid of betraying other people’s sincerity. In the end, it was better to stay single. But now, he was facing Xu Li… The poster boy of scumbags everywhere. What did it matter if his heart was stone cold and unfeeling? They could just talk about it, with nothing to be afraid of. At worst, he could just kick Xu Li away after attending Han Jinhang’s wedding.
Thinking of that, Zhang Yuze stopped, shrugged his shoulders, and said: “It doesn’t matter. Anyway, there won’t be any results.”
Xu Li blinked and said with a smile: “It looks like you agreed, boyfriend.”
“Fuck your boyfriend…” Before Zhang Yuze could come to terms with his brand-new identity, he saw Xu Li pick up his mobile phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Search on the Internet. What’s the first thing a couple do together?” Xu Li searched very carefully. “Oh, I found it. Tell your relatives and friends using WeChat Moments first.”
“…”
Now, Zhang Yuze was shocked. “What are you even looking at?! Is that a ‘love guide’ for primary school students?! Do I have to cooperate with you and open a couple’s social profile?!”
“That’s not impossible, but I haven’t used my account for a long time, so I forgot what my nickname is.” Xu Li actually began to think seriously.
“Get out of here, who would want to follow that?” Zhang Yuze also smiled.
As for Xu Li, he was already holding his mobile phone out, with one arm around Zhang Yuze, taking a selfie of the two of them very close together. However, he didn’t know how to showcase his beauty and wasn’t trained in the forbidden art of taking social media pictures, so his selfie was just… Two big faces in front of the camera. Fortunately, both of them were handsome and could bear that angle of death.
“You’re taking a portrait, look at your big head.” Zhang Yuze cursed.
Xu Li raised his chin at his mobile phone and said: “I’ve sent it to you. Hurry up and post it to your circle.”
“I’m really crazy to be here with you…” Zhang Yuze took out his mobile phone and saved the photo.
After posting on his social media, Xu Li grabbed Zhang Yuze’s phone, edited the caption to be exactly like his own, and then clicked send.
“Are you satisfied now?” Zhang Yuze looked at him and asked.
“Go to sleep, boyfriend. I’m so sleepy.” Xu Li stood up and walked to the bedroom.
Zhang Yuze looked at the successfully posted selfie, unable to stop himself from asking: “You’ve officially announced it like this. Aren’t you afraid that all those little lovers of yours would dump you?”
Xu Li didn’t look back. He stretched out, showed half of his stomach, and said sleepily: “Dr. Zhang, no one will pursue a really charming person once they fall in love, understand?”
Anyway, the truth was that Zhang Yuze was too lazy to pay any attention to him. Fortunately, it was nothing but a fake romance, and he really, truly, didn’t bother to care about Xu Li’s affairs outside. He said again: “Then I’m leaving.”
Xu Li stood by the bedroom door, turned around, rubbed his eyes, and said: “Where are you going? Sleep with me, boyfriend.”
“Why would I sleep with you?!” Zhang Yuze pulled at his clothes, afraid that Xu Li would start acting like a beast. However, he soon remembered that he only had one usable arm, so he could (technically) do nothing.
Xu Li shook his mobile phone and said without any shame: “That’s what the Internet says. The second thing after becoming a couple is to sleep together.”
“In your dreams Xu Li… Listen to that, the second thing after becoming a couple is to sleep together…” Zhang Yuze couldn’t wait to kick him.
“Just come to bed quickly.” Xu Li was so sleepy that he couldn’t open his eyes, never caring about Zhang Yuze’s complaints. And so, he simply stretched out his hand and pulled him into the room. Zhang Yuze had no choice but to be led away by him.
Although he really wanted to leave him alone, Dr. Zhang finally compromised because… He still had to give Xu Li a fever injection in the morning.
There was no other way. Humanitarian relief.
A doctor’s heart was truly kind.
Entering the bedroom, Xu Li fell straight on the bed, about to fall asleep.
“Get up and brush your teeth.” However, Zhang Yuze couldn’t stand it any longer. He reached out and dragged him from the bed into the bathroom. “Maybe getting bad teeth would turn you into an honest man.”
“Tsk.” Xu Li shook his hand like a reluctant child and began to brush his teeth slowly.
Zhang Yuze found a disposable toothbrush for himself and stood with him. Looking at Xu Li, who was squinting in the mirror, Zhang Yuze finally asked: “How long would this relationship last for? When will we break up?”
Xu Li stopped brushing his teeth, now slightly sober, and said: “Why talk about this at the beginning?”
Zhang Yuze lowered his head, rinsed his mouth, spit out the foam, and continued: “I need to confirm the timeline. We can’t start without an end, and then end without a beginning.”
Xu Li thought for a minute, but couldn’t think all the way until he finished brushing his teeth. Waving his hand, he said resignedly: “Forget it, we’ll talk about it later. Regardless of your timeline, we’re just playing. If you really can’t stand it anymore, just tell me. I promise I won’t keep you against your will.”
Zhang Yuze thought about his words carefully and agreed. There was no burden or pressure. Let’s just go and see…
… It was just right.
After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Xu Li’s sleepiness was almost diluted. He lay on the bed with great interest, watching Zhang Yuze walk out of the bedroom, pour him a glass of water, and hand him a pill.
“Anti-inflammatory medicine.” Zhang Yuze sat by the bed.
Xu Li swallowed it with a smile and said: “I suddenly feel that taking this knife was worth it. Now, there’s someone to serve and take care of me, and I also picked up a boyfriend for nothing.”
Zhang Yuze held back the urge to splash water on his face and asked: “Do you have pajamas? I can’t sleep in my coat.”
“In the closet. Look by yourself, anything is fine.” After taking the medicine, Xu Li shrank into the quilt and didn’t want to care about anything.
Zhang Yuze looked at his crimson cheeks and guessed that he was still feverish, so he gave up arguing with the patient, only able to curse him casually: “Fuck you, Xu Li.”
Xu Li had closed his eyes and said in a daze: “I’ll fuck you, I’ve always been on top.”
“…Get out of here.”
Zhang Yuze went to Xu Li’s wardrobe and picked up a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Although he really disliked it, he had no choice but to change his clothes. Turning off the light, he lifted the quilt and laid down. He thought he was not sleepy but still chose to close his eyes. Yet, in less than three minutes, he was dead to the world.
…………
That night, except for the two of them who were sleeping soundly, everyone else rolled on the ground, ready to receive the Heavenly thunder, getting charred on the outside and tender on the inside.
The 60-year-old dean was about to contact Zhang Yuze with the news of finding him a new replacement assistant. However, at the moment, he was wearing his prescription glasses and browsing through his social media account. He barely liked the video shared by a popular singer, titled “Happiness and Peace”, when he saw two identical posts.
Zhang Yuze: Boyfriend. [ Picture sharing]
Xu Li: Boyfriend. [ Picture sharing]
!!!
…………
Zhao Xiaole looked at that update in a very complicated mood. Two people who quarreled every day as if they wanted to kill each other, even willing to go to jail hand in hand, suddenly announced that they were in a relationship. No matter how nervous she was, she couldn’t calm down for a moment.
The melon-eating crowd from the hospital was also confused. One day, it was rumored that Dr. Zhang was heartbroken and no longer believed in love. The cause was Xu Li, that scumbag. Just as everyone helped Dr. Zhang scold the scumbag, here they were, together in the middle of the night.
For a moment, everyone automatically made up a 160 episodes drama, filled with the adventures of a scum top and a cheap bottom. First, you broke my heart and now you came to block a knife for me?! It looks like want to embrace the old, so let’s entangle with each other, love, and kill each other for seasons to come…
The novel was almost writing itself!
It must also be the number one piece of literature on the annual gold list of sadistic love novels!
…………
Poor Zhang Yuze didn’t sleep well that night. He was a little bit jittery, so it was easy to have nightmares when sleeping elsewhere. He struck down the alarm clock and sat up, looking at Xu Li, who was lying beside him.
A headache.
For a while, he couldn’t remember what happened last night. If he wasn’t sure that he wasn’t really fond of drinking too much, he would have doubted whether he slept with Xu Li after drinking last night. Otherwise, why were they sharing the same bed now?!
After sitting on his ass for a long time, Zhang Yuze finally remembered that he casually agreed to fall in love with Xu Li. So the idiot sleeping next to him was no one else but…
… His boyfriend.
And just like that, his head hurt even more.
People should not make decisions at night, because they will end up regretting it 100% when they wake up in the morning.
And he regretted it. A lot.
However, Dr. Zhang’s humanitarian relief was still going on. He reached out and touched Xu Li’s forehead noticing that, fortunately, the fever had subsided. It was enough to take some anti-inflammatory drugs and get a shot to relieve the coquettishness later. It was not a big problem.
Unexpectedly, Xu Li, who was still deep in his sleep, suddenly waved his hand irritably and muttered with a strong nasal voice: “Don’t make trouble. Take the money from my wallet yourself.”
“…”
Look at that! With one single movement and a couple of words, Dr. Zhang was downgraded to a cheap hookup from a nightclub! He was so angry that he kicked and scolded: “Get off your mother’s dead horse and get up for me!”
Xu Li was kicked to the ground and stood up in a daze. Obviously, his mind was not clear. Looking up, he saw Zhang Yuze, who was still wearing his pajamas, sitting angrily by the bed.
And so, Xu Li said in a daze: “Why am I in your bed? I don’t remember fucking you…”
At that moment, Zhang Yuze really had the illusion that the scumbag was ready to pull up his pants after the deed was done, with no intention to recognize him.
He picked up the pillow and threw it at Xu Li who immediately covered his head, in a suspiciously practiced manner.
“You’re going to die! Are you planning to get amnesia now?!”
