TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 27

Yu Wanwan cheerfully picked up the cuju ball from the ground and walked over to the Fifth Prince, Zhou Kang. But secretly, she added a little something special she always carried with her to the ball.

 

“Your cuju ball, Your Highness,” Yu Wanwan said, keeping her head low and her tone humble.

 

Zhou Kang snatched the ball from her hand, “Filthy servant! Why are you so slow? So annoying!”

 

With that, he waddled off, panting with every step. When he reached an open area, he placed the ball on the ground and lifted his plump leg to kick the ball into the air.

 

Seeing this, Yu Wanwan clicked her tongue in secret: 【Tsk tsk tsk, this is what happens when you eat too much sea cucumber.】

 

T/N Sea cucumber — A delicacy in ancient Chinese diets often associated with luxury. 

 

【I can already foresee the future of cuju in the Great Zhou Dynasty—it’s not looking good at all!】

 

【There’s not much time left for the Great Zhou Dynasty.】

 

Just as he was about to call Yu Wanwan to fetch the ball again, a buzzing sound reached his ears.

 

“Hm? What’s that noise? It’s bothering this prince’s ears!” he said, confused.

 

Yu Wanwan had already quietly pulled Xiao Qing into a corner, a mischievous grin on her face. “Xiao Qing, have you ever seen a thin-skinned steamed bun?”

 

T/N “Thin-skinned steamed bun” (薄皮大笼包) — This is a metaphor used to describe someone’s swollen appearance after being stung by bees, likening their puffed-up face to a steamed bun with a thin skin.

 

Xiao Qing blinked in confusion and shook her head, “No, never.”

 

“Well, you’re about to see one real soon.”

 

Just as Yu Wanwan finished speaking, a swarm of buzzing bees headed straight for Zhou Kang. The moment he saw the bees, his face filled with terror, and he screamed, “Ahhh! Get away from this prince!”

 

But bees don’t care about status. They didn’t care that he was a prince. They just went straight for his exposed skin, stinging him left and right. “Ahhhh! You filthy servants, come save this prince! I’m going to get stung to death! Waaahhh…”

 

Watching the scene unfold, Yu Wanwan silently cheered for the bee army: 【Go, family of bees, charge!】

 

The eunuchs serving Zhou Kang rushed forward to drive the bees away, but it was useless. No matter where Zhou Kang ran, the bees followed him relentlessly.

 

Before long, his face swelled up like a balloon, his once white and chubby cheeks looked as if they were about to burst. Even his mouth was stung into the shape of a sausage.

 

Xiao Qing couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the sight.

 

Now, she finally understood what a “thin-skinned steamed bun” looked like.

 

“Brother Yu, what did you use to make the bees chase him like that?”

 

Yu Wanwan grinned, showing her teeth, “Honeycomb honey.” She took out a small ceramic jar she carried with her. Inside was lip balm made from honey and beeswax.

 

Xiao Qing’s eyes lit up when she smelled the sweet fragrance. “It smells so good! Can I eat it?”

 

Yu Wanwan dug out a small amount with her finger and applied it to Xiao Qing’s lips. She didn’t think much of it, because between close friends, sharing lip balm or lipstick—even sleeping together—was perfectly normal.

 

The reason she made this lip balm in the first place was because life in the palace involved endless rounds of bowing, apologising, and talking. Whether it was admitting fault or bowing in apology, the routine was never-ending. Plus, watching so many beautiful sisters every day left her feeling envious and dry-mouthed, to the point where her lips started peeling.

 

So, she figured out how to make some honey lip balm. The smooth lip balm glided across Xiao Qing’s rosy lips, making them appear even more full and glossy.

 

Yu Wanwan swallowed hard: “This stuff is for moisturizing your lips. Eating everything in sight will only do you harm.”

 

【In my next life, I swear I’ll be a real man.】

 

【Tsk tsk tsk, kissing these lips must feel amazing.】

 

After applying the lip balm, she placed it in Xiao Qing’s hand. “Here, I’m giving this to you. Tomorrow I’ll get more from elsewhere.”

 

Blushing, Xiao Qing shyly accepted the lip balm. “Thank you, Brother Yu.”

 

Xiao Qing scooped out a bit of the balm and smeared it on Yu Wanwan’s lips. She thought to herself: If I put it on first, and then Brother Yu uses it, it’s almost like I kissed Brother Yu, isn’t it?

 

Up close, Xiao Qing could see the fine hairs on Yu Wanwan’s face and her smooth, fair skin. Her own face turned even redder, like a ripe apple.

 

Brother Yu’s skin is so soft, just like a woman’s… but everything Brother Yu does is the most manly.

 

Yu Wanwan pressed her lips together, savouring the feel of the balm, an expression of sheer enjoyment on her face.

 

【Tsk tsk tsk, my little sister Xiao Qing’s hands are so soft, thank goodness they didn’t fall into the hands of that old emperor.】

 

【In the desolate lands of Ba Mountain and Chu Waters… baby, can you kiss me?】

 

T/N “Ba Mountain and Chu Waters” (巴山楚水) — A famous phrase from Chinese poetry that symbolises a remote and sorrowful place. 

 

Although Xiao Qing didn’t understand Yu Wanwan’s meaning, she still shyly tugged on Yu Wanwan’s sleeve. “Brother Yu, the Fifth Prince is gone.”

 

Yu Wanwan snapped out of the temptation of her beautiful sister, and turned to see that Zhou Kang had already left, walking away with his swollen face full of welts.

 

The buzzing bees, having stung their target, now lay dead in a heap on the ground.

 

Yu Wanwan grinned mischievously as she stepped forward. “Come on, I’ll show you how to make something delicious that’ll have the neighbour kids crying from jealousy.”

 

Xiao Qing licked the honey lip balm still lingering on her lips. Everything Brother Yu gave her was always delicious.

 

The two walked over, and Yu Wanwan took out a handkerchief, wrapping up all the bee corpses on the ground. 【Brother Bees, you’ve sacrificed yourselves valiantly. I will give you a proper burial!】

 

【I’ll make sure your lives burned with purpose, lighting up the final moments of your bee existence!】

 

Xiao Qing frowned and asked, “Brother Yu, can you really eat these things?”

 

Yu Wanwan chuckled. “Hehehe, even though they don’t look great, they also don’t taste great. But don’t worry, you’re not the one who’s going to eat them.”

 

“The Fifth Prince is injured. We have to bring him something good to check on him, right?”

 

Xiao Qing was even more confused now. “Brother Yu, the Fifth Prince has seen us. If we go to him now, isn’t that like an old man tying a noose around his neck?”

 

T/N “Old man tying a noose around his neck” — This expression is similar to “asking for trouble.”

 

“We’re not seeking death, but someone certainly wants to see me dead.” Yu Wanwan sighed.

 

Because Zhou Kang was the son of Xianfei, and Yu Wanwan happened to know a big secret about her. Today, they just happened to cross paths with Zhou Kang. No doubt, Xianfei would summon her to Xianhe Palace soon. Since she couldn’t avoid it, she might as well mess with the brat some more as a way to vent.

 

As they talked, they finished collecting all the bees from the ground. They brought the bees back to the palace kitchen, where they cleaned them, prepared some batter, coated them in egg wash and breadcrumbs, and tossed them into the frying pan.

 

Soon, the room was filled with a delicious aroma.

 

The golden, crispy bee fritters were done.

 

Xiao Qing wrinkled her nose as she looked at the slightly brownish-yellow fritters in front of her. If she hadn’t made these herself, she might have actually mistaken them for some gourmet dish.

 

Just as Yu Wanwan was packing the fritters into a food container, an old maid’s voice called out from outside the door.

 

“Eunuch Yu, Xianfei requests your presence at Xianhe Palace. She wishes to inquire about the Fifth Prince’s injury.”

 

Yu Wanwan shrugged at Xiao Qing helplessly. “See? Brother’s eyes are as sharp as a ruler—never wrong.”

 

“You stay here in the palace kitchen. If your identity gets exposed, the consorts will soon know. Going out would only put you at risk.”

 

Xiao Qing obediently nodded. “Alright, I’ll wait here for you to come back, Brother Yu.”

 

Yu Wanwan sighed inwardly: 【Tsk tsk tsk, what’s happening to me? I’m starting to feel like this palace life is becoming… normal.】

 

【Someone’s waiting for me, there’s company… and I’m getting paid… Hmm, maybe working isn’t so bad after all.】

 

She muttered to herself as she followed Granny Ji, Xianfei’s maid, toward Xianhe Palace. Before they even entered, she could already hear the wails of the Fifth Prince from inside.

 

“Waaaah, it’s all that wicked eunuch’s fault! If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been stung by those bees!”

 

Yu Wanwan: “???”

 

Alright, time to initiate the ‘Deal with the Brat’ plan!

 

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