TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 31

The little eunuch looked at her with an innocent gaze: “Eunuch Yu, you’re awake? I thought you were still sleeping.”

 

The little eunuch’s red lips moved up and down near Yu Wanwan’s lips, and his body still carried a faint scent of sandalwood.

 

Yu Wanwan unconsciously swallowed her saliva: 【Although Xian Fei is an old six, she still knows my preferences quite well.】

 

T/N: 老六, old six,  a Chinese idiom that refers to an experienced or skilled person)

 

【Oh no… it’s a heart-pounding feeling.】

 

【You little rascal, trying to seduce your sister? You don’t even have an Adam’s apple, and you’re still pretending?】

 

【Well, you might as well learn from your sister and stick on a fake Adam’s apple, but… seeing you, my heart instantly felt balanced, because… you’re also a one-of-a-kind 】

 

(一马平川, a Chinese idiom that means to be on the same level or to be evenly matched).

 

Yu Wanwan muttered to herself while stretching out her hand to grab the little eunuch’s collar.

 

“Good little sister, what’s your name?”

 

The little eunuch was taken aback by her address: “My name is Yu Wei.”

 

T/N 雨薇 means “rainy Wei”

 

“What? Yu Wei… the name sounds nice, but… it’s easily exposed, oh.” Yu Wanwan looked at him with a sly smile.

 

Her restless hand reached out to touch his chest.

 

The flat and slightly hard chest made Yu Wanwan’s smile even more pronounced.

 

“Don’t be discouraged, being flat is also quite good.”

 

Yu Wei was scared silly, and he, who had originally planned to seduce Yu Wanwan, struggled to retreat: “Eunuch Yu, don’t do this.”

 

“It’s not good for others to see…”

 

Yu Wanwan’s smile grew even more pronounced, and she directly used force to grab Yu Wei’s clothes, not letting him leave.

 

“Good little sister, didn’t you just try to seduce your brother? Now you’re scared?”

 

“No!” Yu Wei’s eyes widened, and his heart was racing wildly.

 

He thought to himself: No! Xian Fei told me to get close to Yu Wanwan, saying he’s a person who likes soft girls, but she didn’t tell me to play it so pervertedly!

 

This is a different price!

 

Yu Wanwan wrapped her arms around Yu Wei’s waist, looking like a beast: “Yu Wei little sister, brother will make a deal with you, don’t mix with Xian Fei, brother will protect you.”

 

“I’ll ensure your days are better than following Xian Fei.”

 

“You should know… being a concubine means being slept with by old men, it’s very miserable.”

 

Yu Wei looked at her in confusion: “Yu Gonggong, I’m a man, what are you talking about?”

 

Yu Wanwan smiled shallowly, her fingers circling around his throat: “Little rascal, your mouth says no, but your body is quite honest.”

 

This meant that she had already discovered his identity and didn’t need him to pretend anymore.

 

Yu Wei still pushed her hand away, looking tense: “Eunuch Yu, I don’t understand your meaning…”

 

Yu Wanwan scanned his chest with a glance, then looked at his waist and below.

 

“Are you sure you still want to continue pretending? I know Xian Fei’s purpose, you don’t need to beat around the bush with me.” Yu Wanwan’s tone carried a hint of seriousness.

 

The playful glint in her eyes vanished, leaving Yu Wei slightly dumbfounded by the sudden shift in her expression.

 

He thought to himself: Yu Wanfu sure changes faces fast. If anyone should be performing face-changing tricks in the opera troupe, it’s him.

 

Yu Wanwan, ever in control, quickly returned to her smiling demeanor after the brief moment of seriousness. “Have you thought it through, Sister Yu Wei? I don’t want to resort to violence…”

 

【I’m the type who can praise the boss to his face and curse his entire family behind his back. And you, with that baby face, think you can act with me?】

 

【Go back to hauling bricks for two more years. Get beaten down by your boss before trying again.】

 

Yu Wei, red-faced and stubborn, straightened his neck and responded, “Eunuch Yu, I really was sent by the  Xianfei to assist you, but… I don’t know what you’re trying to make me admit.”

 

Yu Wanwan sighed and shook her head. “Alright then, you’ve forced my hand.”

 

With that, she swiftly executed a “transferring flowers to trees” move, striking directly toward his weak point from his waist down.

 

Yu Wanwan: “My monkey stealing peaches technique is so good, even if Sun Wukong from Flower Fruit Mountain himself were here, he’d be down two peaches.”

 

“Your peaches? Hand them over!”

 

She was convinced that this little eunuch was of the same gender as her.

 

So, without hesitation, she reached directly for his crotch.

 

But what she didn’t expect…

 

The soft, indescribable sensation that greeted her fingers left her petrified on the spot.

 

“AHHH! You beast!” Yu Wei screamed and bolted out of the courtyard, leaving Yu Wanwan standing there, completely dumbstruck.

 

Her trembling hand remained frozen in disbelief as she stared at his retreating figure.

 

“Startled awake in the throes of death, the joke’s on me after all?”

 

“AHHHHH! I’ve been defiled!”

 

For the first time in ages, Yu Wanwan had trouble falling asleep. What she thought would be a clever trick had actually resulted in her stealing two very real peaches!

 

Lying in bed, she shook her head, “Turns out a person shouldn’t be too idle.”

 

She tossed and turned, unable to sleep, then suddenly shot up from bed. “No! The Xianfei is out of her mind.”

 

That old fox actually played her for real.

 

Meanwhile, in his own room, Yu Wei’s face was full of smug satisfaction. Hehehe… trying to outsmart the Xianfei? Yu Wanfu’s no match for her.

 

The Xianfei hadn’t just sent him to the Department of Rites to monitor Yu Wanfu; it was all part of a much larger plan.

 

If Yu Wanfu discovered the secret too early, it’d be a disaster.

 

He was the most loyal servant of the Xianfei and would never be swayed by Yu Wanfu!

 

As Yu Wei thought this, he reached into his pants and pulled out two water balloons made from pig bladders.

 

Yu Wanfu had guessed right—but not entirely right.

 

“Hohoho… how fun.” Yu Wei’s bell-like laughter rang out.

 

T/N “银铃般的笑声” (yín líng bān de xiào shēng): This phrase means “bell-like laughter,” commonly used in Chinese literature to describe a light, sweet, and melodious laugh.

 

By the next day, before the break of dawn, Yu Wanwan had already gotten up. Strictly speaking, she hadn’t slept a wink all night! With two huge dark circles under her eyes, she went to apply the Empress’s natural makeup. These past couple of days, the Emperor’s attention had been on Xiao Qing, but it seemed he was still captivated by the Empress, as he visited her every day. As the Empress’s makeup artist, Yu had to fulfill her duties.

 

After completing the usual routine, the Empress looked at herself in the mirror and nodded in satisfaction. “Yu Wanfu, your skills are getting better and better. Today, the Emperor had some peaches sent over to me. I’ll reward you with a few to eat.”

 

Qiuyue immediately fetched a few peaches, red and soft: “Eunuch Yu, these are the first batch of peaches from the south, freshly tributed.”

 

“In this palace, only our Empress has them. No one else! They’re incredibly sweet!”

 

Yu Wanfu’s face turned pale when she saw the peaches in Qiuyue’s hands. “Pe… peaches!”

 

Qiuyue mistook her hesitation for embarrassment and stuffed the peaches into her hands. “The Empress is giving them to you as a reward. No one in the palace would dare gossip about you. If you’re worried about envy, just tuck them into your robe and bring them back.”

 

Tuck into my robe…

 

The memory of last night, which she’d tried to forget, suddenly hit her again like a thunderbolt. She waved her hands frantically. “No, no, no! Thank you, Your Majesty, but you should enjoy these yourself. Only after you eat them will you look even more radiant.”

 

The Empress covered her mouth and chuckled. “You do have a sweet tongue. Then I’ll reward you with silver instead, since you seem to prefer that.”

 

She instructed Qiuyue to bring out silver coins.

 

Yu Wanfu’s eyes lit up when she saw the silver, and any memory of last night’s trauma was immediately thrown to the wind. 【Who cares about real or fake peaches? Nothing beats my love for Empress Sister—inescapable fate!】

 

“Thank you, Your Majesty. With your generous reward, even without tasting the peaches, this servant already feels as sweet as honey!”

 

The Empress was delighted by her flattery. “Yu Wanfu, your mouth really knows how to please me.”

 

“In that case, I have a task for you. The Emperor comes to Jingren Palace often these days, and I’m a bit short-staffed.”

 

“Go to the Department of Internal Affairs and pick two palace maids for me. I trust your eye for people.”

 

Yu Wanfu instantly felt rejuvenated, her legs no longer sore, her back no longer aching:

“Pick people? This servant is an expert at that task!” 【How could I miss the chance to admire some beautiful ladies? Lovely sisters, here I come!】

 

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