TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 33

“Wait! You’re using your mouth to peel the seeds?” Yu Wanwan’s eyes widened, her voice rising an octave.

 

【Damn! Don’t you have any sense of public decency? Saliva can spread many diseases.】

 

【In modern times, you’d definitely be the kind of person who lets an old lady gnaw on boneless chicken feet, stepping on old pickled vegetables, the unscrupulous merchant of tech and tricks.】

 

【No wonder your father got caught for tax evasion; the whole family must be rotten!】

 

Jiang Pan looked self-satisfied. “You didn’t say how to peel them. If I use my mouth, isn’t that the same?”

 

She thought, Hmph, you filthy eunuch! Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do—you want us to peel seeds for you. Dream on! My delicate fingers are meant to serve the Emperor, not to peel seeds for a eunuch like you!

 

Yu Wanwan raised an eyebrow at Jiang Pan’s hands, the long nails painted with a bright red lacquer, clearly indicating she was a pampered young lady who hadn’t done a lick of work.

And she was clearly a fool who hadn’t grasped the situation. The Jiang family had fallen, yet she still maintained her high-born demeanour. However… she likely had reasons to act this way, possibly some promises from certain people in her corner.

 

So, Yu Wanwan smirked and said, “Chief Li, tell me… does our Empress like to eat seeds peeled with someone’s mouth?”

 

“Just the other day, the Empress told me that selecting people must be fair and that she won’t tolerate anyone accepting bribes.”

 

Chief Li trembled at her words, cold sweat beading on his forehead. He had indeed taken money from the Jiang family to help Jiang Pan secure a good position in the palace, so she wouldn’t have to suffer too much. He hadn’t expected Yu Wanwan to be so sharp and to catch on so quickly.

 

But… it was also Jiang Pan’s fault for being so foolish; now he would have to share his payoff with Yu Wanwan.

 

“Eunuch Yu, the young lady from the Jiang family has never done such things, so she misunderstood your meaning.”

 

“If Miss Jiang entered the inner palace to serve, the matriarchs would definitely point things out to her.”

 

“And I’ll make sure to speak a few good words for you in front of the Empress, so I won’t be punished. I will certainly remember your great kindness, Eunuch Yu.”

 

Chief Li’s unspoken subtext was clear: Yu Wanwan, I’ll share half the benefits with you, so don’t hold this against Jiang Pan.

 

Yu Wanwan chuckled lightly. “Since Chief Li knows Jiang Pan so well, why don’t you eat the seeds she peeled? As long as you eat them, we can consider this matter settled.”

 

【Chief Li doesn’t have a ten-year stroke to say something like that.】

 

【Your measly little money can’t compare to the rewards the Empress gives!】

 

【You may be ugly, but your thoughts are quite beautiful.】

 

T/N: Yu Wanwan is referring to Jiang Pan, who is acting haughty despite her family’s downfall. So it’s a contrast between Jiang Pan’s appearance and her being delulu Lol

 

As Jiang Pan peeled the seeds, her anger boiled inside her, so she chomped down on the seeds, crushing them and spitting the remnants into the plate.

 

At this moment, the plate held not seeds, but a mush of chewed-up scraps.

 

Chief Li looked at the plate, which resembled vomit, and couldn’t help but gag a little.

“Eunuch Yu, this…”

 

“Can’t eat it? Then what can you say on Jiang Pan’s behalf?” Yu Wanwan slammed the table and stood up.

 

Chief Li’s legs trembled in fear; his wrist was clearly thicker than Yu Wanwan’s, but the aura radiating from him made it seem like he had become the Emperor. If this matter reached the Empress, he wouldn’t die but would certainly lose a layer of skin. “Eunuch Yu, please calm down. Let me pour you a cup of tea.”

 

Chief Li fawned as he moved to pour tea for Yu Wanwan, subtly slipping a heavy pouch into her hand.

 

He blinked, his meaning clear: Old Yu, I’ve given you all the silver I received; just give me one chance.

 

Yu Wanwan weighed the pouch of silver and then sipped the tea. “Hmm, good tea.”

 

【I’m someone who enjoys a sense of fulfilment, especially when silver weighs down my pocket and gives me that solid feel.】

 

【Though I don’t have… well, you know, it’s still mine to claim.】

 

Hearing this, Chief Li knew Yu Wanwan would let him off the hook. He breathed a sigh of relief: “Eunuch Yu, do you need to test anyone else?”

 

Yu Wanwan clapped her hands. “Let’s move on to the talent show!”

 

Jiang Pan instantly perked up; this was the moment she’d been waiting for, her forte.

The other palace maids, however, looked troubled; they were only skilled at rough work, lacking any talent to display.

 

The first maid stepped forward timidly and said, “Eunuch Yu… I don’t have any talents, but I’m really good at chopping wood. Is that okay?”

 

Yu Wanwan smiled broadly and nodded. “Of course, you can do anything from smashing stones to stepping on blades!”

 

The palace maid smiled as she took an axe and wood, beginning to chop furiously.

 

With a loud “bang,” a piece of wood split into three chunks.

 

Yu Wanwan clapped her hands in applause: “Great! Look how neatly and cleanly this firewood is chopped!”

 

Encouraged, the maid chopped several more pieces, quickly filling the courtyard with wood. Yu Wanwan nodded repeatedly, but her focus wasn’t on the wood—it was on the maid’s movements. 

 

【Tsk tsk, that fluid form is simply a template that a gym instructor would use to lure people into signing up.】 

 

【I finally understand how a widow feels watching a muscular labourer work in her house; that sense of strength is amazing!】

 

Once the wood chopping was done, two other palace maids stepped forward: “Eunuch Yu, we can fight like chickens.”

 

Yu Wanwan nodded for them to begin. The two of them embraced each other’s legs and started to collide, the sound of their knees cracking echoing. They even clucked like chickens as they bumped into each other.

 

Yu Wanwan turned to Chief Steward Li, confused: “Is this kind of talent allowed in the palace?”

 

Li, looking a bit awkward, nodded: “Yes, yes…”

 

“……..”

 

Yu Wanwan shook her head: 

 

【Sometimes, I really feel helpless on my own.】 

 

【It’s like an eighty-year-old woman, under the scorching sun, hauling fifty loads of water to water someone else’s fields, only to turn around and see her own land all dried up.】

 

After the chicken-fighting act ended, another maid began a dance performance. This piqued Yu Wanwan’s interest; finally, she could see a normal performance.

 

But as the maid started moving her limbs to dance, Yu Wanwan stood there dumbfounded.

 

This… this looks like the actions of zombies rampaging through a city—are you serious? 【Help! I really want to call the authorities!】

 

When the maid finished her dance, she looked at her expectantly: “Eunuch Yu, how was my performance?”

 

Um…

 

Yu Wanwan hesitated for a long moment before saying, “Well… there’s a certain beauty in having a missing brain stem.”

 

Though the maid didn’t understand what “missing brain stem” meant, she heard the word “beauty”! In any case, Eunuch Yu praised her.

 

So she quickly thanked her: “Thank you, Eunuch Yu!”

 

After everyone had performed, Jiang Pan confidently stepped forward: “This young lady is here; everyone step aside.”

 

Yu Wanwan gestured for her to come forward: “Come on, you attention-seeker, let’s see what you can do.”

 

_______________________________________

Thank you for reading! If you found any typos please let me know in the comment section!

If you like the translation or novel please rate it on NU and support me on Ko-fi for bonus chapters:

Have a lovely day~~

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒