This was a new apartment complex, not Luo Tian’s old home, but one he bought later. Bai Cheng entered the community with Pharaoh and used the key to unlock the door to Luo Tian’s home.
The interior was typical of Luo Tian’s minimalist style—white walls with large blank spaces, light gray marble floors paired with beige carpets, making the place feel spacious and comfortable. There was no one in the living room. Pharaoh ran ahead of Bai Cheng, heading straight for the bedroom. Bai Cheng followed and found Luo Tian sitting by the bed.
Luo Tian sat on the carpet, leaning against the bed, with his legs bent and his arms resting on his knees. His fingers were loosely intertwined, and a chain dangled from his right hand, the pendant clasped in his palm. His head was lowered, almost buried between his legs.
Pharaoh ran to his side, nudged his cheek with his nose, and whimpered twice.
Luo Tian lifted his head, seeing Pharaoh snuggling against him, then turned to see Bai Cheng standing in front of him.
He looked up at her, saying nothing, just staring as if she were a deity who had suddenly descended.
“I’m sorry,” he lowered his head again, “I failed. I let the Mudskipper escape. I’ve let everyone down.” He covered his face with both hands, and a painful sob escaped him.
Bai Cheng walked over and crouched beside him. “I know you’ve already done your best. No one is blaming you. Luo Tian, it’s okay. There will be another chance.”
Gently, Bai Cheng pried his hands away from his face and saw the cross necklace tightly clenched in his palm. She held his hand, but Luo Tian quickly grasped hers in return, pressing it to his forehead as he wept softly. His large hands tightly enveloped hers, and she felt the warmth of his touch steadily transferring to her. Bai Cheng sat down, gently patting his back.
She stayed with him for a while as he grieved. Luo Tian was naturally restrained and didn’t cry for long. Once his emotions calmed, he quickly released her hand and wiped away his tears. Bai Cheng took a tissue from her bag and handed it to him.
“Thank you,” Luo Tian said, taking the tissue to wipe his face. “Fang Chong must have told you my address, right?”
Bai Cheng nodded. “Mm. He also told me about Jiang Shuo. Luo Tian, it wasn’t your fault. You don’t need to carry this burden.”
“And what about Lu Heng? Am I not responsible for his death? Don’t you think the police were useless too? If I had been just one step ahead of him that day, he wouldn’t have died. Maybe no one would have died. Do you understand that?”
“Luo Tian, no one could have predicted what a desperate criminal would do. You and Lu Heng were both trying to save that little girl. If Lu Heng hadn’t stepped forward that day, he might have survived, but then the girl would have died. Or maybe it would have been you. You can’t say that just because the girl was a hostage, she deserved to die. And you can’t say that because you’re a police officer, you should’ve died in Lu Heng’s place. Every life is valuable. Everyone has the right to live. No one’s life is worth less than another’s. I’ve never thought about trading someone’s life for Lu Heng’s, except for the guilty criminal. So, Luo Tian, you don’t need to blame yourself. No one is blaming you. Your team is waiting for you to return and take charge.”
Luo Tian shook his head violently, as if he’d been shocked. “I can’t. I can’t even fire a gun right now. I’ll only drag them down.”
Bai Cheng wanted to say more but swallowed her words after thinking it over. In the end, she said, “No matter what you decide to do, we’ll be here for you. But you have to tell Fang Chong and the others about your situation. They’re really worried about you.”
Luo Tian nodded slightly, his body sliding down as he leaned back against the bed, closing his eyes in silence.
Bai Cheng’s attention was drawn to the cross necklace wrapped around his right hand. She glanced at Luo Tian, who had his eyes closed, and reached out to take the necklace from his hand.
Luo Tian sensed her movement and turned his head to look at her.
“Do you remember Miss Wu, who often goes to church? She gave me a necklace just like this. Is this one really that precious?”
“This necklace was given to me by the priest. Miss Wu’s necklace was probably from the priest too. I don’t really believe in these things, but I didn’t want to refuse the priest’s goodwill. He said the cross represents love and redemption, and he hoped that the Lord would be with me.”
“If you don’t believe in this, why do you keep it?”
“There’s more to the story about Jiang Shuo. Fang Chong doesn’t know everything. Let me tell you the whole truth.”
“Jiang Shuo and I grew up together. My parents ran a restaurant, and Jiang Shuo’s mother had a fruit stall right next to it. Jiang Shuo was from a single-parent family and lived with his mother. She worked hard, running the fruit stall during the day and doing sewing work at night to make ends meet. Fortunately, Jiang Shuo was a bright and diligent kid, always top of his class, so I was constantly compared to him since my grades were average. But it never affected our friendship. When we were kids, local thugs often bullied his family. They’d either take fruit without paying or demand protection money. Jiang Shuo, though just a child, would always stand in front of his mother, even though he was powerless. He never backed down or cried. Whenever my parents saw troublemakers at Jiang Shuo’s stall, they’d step in to drive them away. Because of that kindness, Jiang Shuo always treated me like a younger brother, even though he was only a day older than me.”
“As a kid, Jiang Shuo loved playing the role of a policeman in our games. He’d always be the cop, defeating the bad guys and protecting people. His dream was to become a police officer so he could protect his mother. Later, when he was preparing to take the police academy exam, I didn’t have any clear goals. I just wanted to follow him, my best friend and big brother. So, I applied to the police academy too. He got in easily as the top student, and though I barely scraped through as one of the last, I made it in.”
“Jiang Shuo and I went to the police academy together, graduated together, and joined the city police together. I thought we’d be best brothers for life, and even our children would grow up to be best friends. Until that day, when we were dispatched together to investigate the suspected drug lab at the sewage treatment plant.”
“That day, Jiang Shuo, myself, and a few other officers pretended to be environmental workers to enter the plant. We quickly found the secret entrance to the underground lab. Some of our team stayed above to control the situation while Jiang Shuo, a few others, and I went below. As soon as we got down there, we heard the sound of footsteps and furniture being overturned. We gave chase, and in the scuffle, Jiang Shuo’s arm was cut by one of the dealers. We pursued them all the way to an emergency exit. Trusting my instincts, I rushed out, not even hearing Jiang Shuo shout for me to stop.”
“In hindsight, he was right. We were outnumbered and injured, unfamiliar with the terrain, and it was risky to chase them alone. But back then, I wasn’t thinking straight. All I could see was the drug dealer in front of me, and I couldn’t let him escape. So, I didn’t know that Jiang Shuo had ordered the injured officers to escort the arrested dealers back while he chased after me alone.”
“My focus was entirely on the Crocodile. I chased him up the hillside, and just as he entered my shooting range, I felt a heavy blow to the back of my head. When I woke up, I was already tied up. I was in an abandoned church, bound to a post. In front of me, besides the Crocodile, was the Mudskipper.”
“The Crocodile had escaped from the underground, and while he was running, the Mudskipper happened to see me chasing after him. He quietly followed and ambushed me, knocking me out and tying me up in the abandoned church on the hill. They were waiting for their accomplices to come pick them up.”
“I had no way out. My gun had been taken by the Crocodile and given to the Mudskipper. All I could do was hope that the police would find us before their reinforcements arrived.”
“As I waited anxiously, I suddenly felt someone pinching the back of my neck. I immediately knew it was Jiang Shuo. He always played pranks on me by pinching my neck like that. I was relieved, knowing he had found me. But then I started to worry. Was he alone, or did he come with backup?”
“I observed the Crocodile and the Mudskipper. They were discussing something in the corner. Then the Mudskipper walked over, pointed a gun at me. Before he could shoot, Jiang Shuo pulled the trigger first. But his position wasn’t ideal, and he missed the Mudskipper. The Crocodile quickly reacted and fired back.”
“After a few shots, the Crocodile held a gun to my head, threatening to kill me if Jiang Shuo didn’t drop his weapon and show himself. He said they had two people, while Jiang Shuo was alone, and there was no way he could save me. The Crocodile started counting down, ‘Three, two…’ Before he could finish, a gun was tossed in from the window. Jiang Shuo raised his hands above his head and appeared at the door.”
“Jiang Shuo was tied to another post, directly across from me, about a meter and a half away. The Crocodile sat on the platform in the middle of the church, looking down on us. The Mudskipper kept interrogating us about how we discovered the drug lab.”
“Jiang Shuo lied, saying we had an informant. I knew he was bluffing, trying to sow discord among the drug dealers. But the Crocodile believed him and started pressing us to reveal who the informant was.”
“At first, neither of us said anything. Then the Crocodile pulled out a bag of drugs. He said it was the latest batch they’d made at the lab we’d found, purer than anything they’d produced before. He managed to grab a bag before fleeing.”
“He said if we didn’t reveal the informant, he’d use us as guinea pigs to test the drugs. He ground the drugs into powder on the church’s altar and brought it to my face, asking who the informant was. I stayed silent, so he tried to force the drugs into my mouth. That’s when Jiang Shuo spoke up. He warned the Crocodile that reinforcements were on their way and that if he didn’t want to be charged with assaulting an officer, he should stop. The Crocodile hesitated, then turned his attention to Jiang Shuo.”
‘You’re tough, aren’t you?’ The Crocodile glanced at the Mudskipper, who was clutching his wounded arm in pain, and said, ‘You go ahead. He’s the one who shot you, so here’s your chance for revenge.’
“The Mudskipper, still wincing from the pain, said he was too weak to do anything. The Crocodile cursed him and then walked over to Jiang Shuo himself.”
“I panicked. All I wanted was to stop him from hurting Jiang Shuo. So I blurted out that there was no informant, that we had tracked them through the wastewater. I hoped this would make him stop. But I didn’t anticipate that the Crocodile would hate Jiang Shuo even more because of his lie.”
‘Which one of you is telling the truth? The whole country knows the police aren’t allowed to lie. I’m giving you thirty seconds. After that, I want the truth, or the one who’s lying will be punished,’ the Crocodile said.
“Jiang Shuo and I spoke in unison: ‘I’m the one lying.’
‘Last chance, who’s lying?’ Jiang Shuo spoke before I could, saying that a stray dog had been killed by the factory’s wastewater, and that’s how the police traced them. There was no informant, and he had tricked the Crocodile.”
“Then the Crocodile pried open Jiang Shuo’s mouth and forced the drugs in. I had seen addicts before, but that day, right in front of me, my best brother, the top cop in everything, was forced to take drugs to protect me.”
“I watched as his body slowly reacted. He started trembling, writhing in pain. Then he went into a frenzy, slamming the back of his head against the post, violently trying to break free from the ropes. He became like a raging lion, wild and vicious, something I’d never seen before. His legs kicked out wildly, he gasped for breath, and finally slumped against the post, his eyes wide open, staring blankly at the sky like a dead fool.”
“And I couldn’t do anything. If I hadn’t chased the Crocodile alone, if I had helped Jiang Shuo maintain the lie instead of telling the truth, maybe he wouldn’t have been tortured like that. I cursed the Crocodile like a madman. The Crocodile got tired of my shouting and smashed my head against the post. I lost consciousness. I don’t know how many times they forced drugs on Jiang Shuo. It must have been many. Each time he woke up, he was weaker than before. His pride, his glory, his body, and his life were slowly destroyed with each dose of drugs. My mind was hazy, my head throbbing as I leaned against the post. I saw something written on the white wall, formed with red tape. The sunlight shone through the church’s stained but broken windows, casting a beautiful rainbow on the wall, directly over the words.”
“I struggled to open my eyes and read what was written. It said: ‘Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.’”
“That rainbow was so beautiful that, for a moment, I forgot I was in hell. My head hurt, and my mind was foggy. Jiang Shuo lay motionless across from me, and I couldn’t tell if he had passed out or… I closed my eyes and recited the words on the wall.”
‘Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven… And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.’
‘Amen…’
‘Amen…’
‘Amen…’
‘Amen…’
‘Amen…’
“The last time I woke up, I vaguely heard the Mudskipper saying their backup had arrived and asking what to do with me and Jiang Shuo. The Crocodile said he didn’t expect that cop to be so weak, that a few doses had killed him. He said that since one cop was dead, they couldn’t let the other live either. Killing two cops would give them enough credit to show the boss when they got back.”
“The last thing I saw was the Crocodile pointing a gun at my heart and firing. I thought I was going to die. I glanced at Jiang Shuo one last time, knowing I would never get to call his name again.”
‘Amen,’ I said, closing my eyes, ready to face death.
“What happened after that was just as Fang Chong told you—Jiang Shuo died, and I survived. The Crocodile gained fame in the drug cartel for killing a cop and quickly rose to second-in-command. The Mudskipper followed him and became a well-known figure in the cartel.”
“When I woke up in the hospital, my parents, looking terrified, told me that the bullet lodged in my chest was only half a centimeter from my heart. I was so close to never waking up again. That day, as I lay in the hospital bed, sunlight streamed in, casting a short rainbow on the white wall. I remembered the rainbow I had seen on the wall of that abandoned church.”
“Did God really hear my prayers and cries? Is that why He made the bullet miss my heart and pulled me out of hell?”
“Later, I went to Jobian Church and asked the priest if I could volunteer there every week. If God really exists, I hope to repay His kindness and ask for forgiveness for my foolishness, so Jiang Shuo can find peace in heaven. That’s why you saw me at the church that day.”
“These past three years, the Crocodile and the Mudskipper have rarely appeared in person. They usually send their underlings to do their dirty work. I thought this time we could catch them all, but I never expected that when I saw his face, I’d be flooded with memories of him forcing drugs on Jiang Shuo, of Jiang Shuo’s pained expression, and of him shooting me.”
“I froze. I couldn’t fire my gun.”
“I failed, Bai Cheng. I can’t face Fang Chong and the others, and I have no right to visit Jiang Shuo and his mother’s graves.”
Bai Cheng held Luo Tian’s hand in hers and said, “Everything will get better. It will.”
