ECPW Chapter 4

VOLUME 1 — SPRING

Chapter 4: Viola

 

In the fortuitous overlap of circumstances, I somehow grew closer to her, Shiori. From then on, we started spending the same time on the morning train.

 

At 6:45 a.m., in the first car. 

 

If I were gazing absentmindedly at my phone on the platform, she would timidly tap my shoulder.

 

However, this morning, when I unexpectedly felt my uniform sleeve being tugged and turned around, she was standing there with a bashful smile on her face.

 

She was looking up at me, desperately trying to say “good morning” just with the movements of her mouth, and seeing her smile made her heart flutter for a moment without even realizing it.

 

── Shiori Hiratsuka, a second-year high school student.

 

It seems that the reason she started riding the same train as me just a few weeks ago was for her duties as a library committee member.

 

To be honest, I don’t know why I took that step toward Shiori, reaching out to her proactively at that time. 

 

I dislike troublesome matters, and I think it’s okay to have minimal interaction with people.

 

So, under normal circumstances, I would never approach someone like that.

 

Moreover, it’s not uncommon for many people who learn about Shiori’s circumstances to instinctively avoid getting involved with her.

 

But despite that, I stepped into Shiori’s world and formed a connection with her. 

 

There was no grand sense of justice or interest driving me. 

 

Of course, I didn’t feel sorry for Shiori either. 

 

At that time, it was just a feeling.

 

Just a feeling that I wanted to know more about Shiori.

 

Just a feeling that I couldn’t leave Shiori alone and wanted to stand by her side.

 

＊ ＊ ＊

 

“Itsuki… I was asked by a guy from the soccer team again. He said something like, ‘She and Itsuki come together every morning, so I guess they’re dating after all…'”

 

The first topic.

 

As soon as I entered the classroom, Aki brought up that topic, and I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.

 

Coming together every morning…It’s like he’s watching us every morning.

 

“…Is that guy from the soccer team my fan?”

 

“Well… not exactly. Maybe he’s just interested about her?”

 

(…That could be true.)

 

Aki, who earnestly responds even to my jokes, is oblivious.

 

Oblivious, earnest, and pure. Aki and Shiori may somehow be similar in that regard.

 

“Hmm, I see. Well, if Aki thinks so, then maybe.”

 

“Really!? Me too! When I asked, ‘Why are you so concerned?’ he said, ‘It’s just that she happened to catch my eye’… But I thought, maybe he’s actually interested in her, you know?”

 

As I listened to Aki’s words, I settled into my seat.

 

…I don’t know who the guy from the soccer team is, but the fact that he hasn’t asked me directly..it’s almost like I have an answer.

 

Aki said he explained it to him the first time, so normally, the topic should have ended there.

 

If he wanted Shiori to introduce him to a girl, he would have already asked Aki, who is closer to him and actually has a girlfriend.

 

Or maybe he’s interested in one of Shiori’s friends… That’s also a possibility.

 

But even then, if he’s persistently sniffing around me and Shiori, it’s almost certain that he’s interested in Shiori.

 

(…If that’s not the case, then does he really like me?)

 

“Well, yeah. But, you should tell him we’re not dating, because it’s true.”

 

However, I didn’t intend to convey such speculation, almost a certain fact, to Aki.

 

Because being the good-natured person he is, as the truth becomes clearer, he would likely feel increasingly conflicted and troubled. 

 

I didn’t want to manipulate Aki like that, and I had no reason to be obligated to someone whom I barely talked to and had no connection with.

 

“…Hmm, that’s true. But I’m sure you’ll be asked this again several timesー……”

 

“Why don’t you just tell him, ‘If you’re so curious, why don’t you ask me directly?’ It’ll solve the problem, right? Then I can tell him the same answer I gave Aki.”

 

“Ah, that’s true! He’ll be more convinced if he hears it directly from Itsuki!”

 

Aki happily agrees to my suggestion, calling it a brilliant idea.

 

I felt sorry for him… But maybe if I said that, that guy from the soccer team would less likely to ask Aki the same questions in the future. 

 

The moment I told him to ask me directly, Aki, even if he didn’t mean to, was thrown in this matter──

 

In other words, he will probably judge that Aki has taken my side instead of his.

 

It’s hard to rely on someone for the same topic once they’ve been pushed away by a person as honest as Aki.

 

That’s just human psychology, I guess.

 

But I’m sure that guy from the soccer team won’t ask me directly now… I think. 

 

It’s just that giving an answer based on what’s more like a certain fact than a prediction makes me think they really have a bad personality.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

Since that day, I have never been on the train home at the same time as Shiori.

 

That’s because after school, I often had to head to work part-time.

 

Although I hadn’t specifically asked what time Shiori goes home, it seems our timings are subtly off. I typically head to the station right after school, while she might leave a bit later.

 

(If we take the same train to and from school… it really does make it seem like we’re dating, doesn’t it?)

 

It’s true that I wanted to get to know Shiori more.

 

It’s also true that I wanted to talk to her more.

 

However, I can definitively say there aren’t any romantic feelings involved.

 

For example, I don’t have the same longing feelings that a boyfriend and girlfriend has for their partner, such as wanting to have them all to themselves, wanting to hold hands, and wanting to see each other right away.

 

It’s not like I have any desire to make Shiori my own.

 

With that in mind, did I want to become friends with Shiori? 

 

I pondered this somewhat belated question while I made my way to the library near my house after school that day.

 

Entering the library, I took my usual seat and spread out my reference books.

 

After all, I’m still a student preparing for entrance exams.

 

I wanted to study in a quiet place, but the library at the boys’ school was just a place to slack off, and the notice posted on the wall saying ”Be quiet in the library” had no effect.

 

So, on days without work, I often came to this library.

 

This public library is about 5 minutes away from my house, and it’s on the way from the station to my house, so it’s very convenient for commuting.

 

Rather than studying at home, I preferred sitting at a desk in this calm and unique atmosphere of the library.

 

──That day, how long had I been sitting there?

 

The sunlight suddenly caught my eye, prompting me to look up.

 

(Maybe it’s time to go home…)

 

And it was at that moment, while pondering such thoughts, that I glanced at the clock on the wall.

 

“…!”

 

At the end of my gaze.

 

Whether she noticed or not…

 

There was the girl I’ve been conversing with every morning recently, and I couldn’t help but doubt my own eyes when I saw her.

 

(Why is she here… Well, the station is the same, so it wouldn’t be strange for her to be here… But…)

 

I hesitated as I tried to stand up.

 

In my line of sight was In front of my line of sight, I see Shiori, who is enthusiastically working at her desk, earnestly facing her desk.

 

Seeing the empty seat next to Shiori, I considered moving there without any hesitation and calling out to her. But then I realized and hesitated.

 

(..Well, I mean, we’re acquaintances… or rather, friends, I guess.)

 

Perhaps it’s because of that daytime conversation about us supposedly dating or whatever. 

 

Reluctantly, I might be conscious of it.

 

However, if I keep hesitating like this, did she notice my gaze?

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

Suddenly, Shiori raised her head, and our gazes met as if guided by something.

 

＊　＊　＊

 

“Is it okay if I sit here?”

 

I nodded frantically to my senpai, who pulled up a chair before I could even answer.

 

The library at my nearest station.

 

Since junior high, it had been a habit to study at the library before going home when exams were approaching.

 

So today, I also went to the library alone and spread out my textbooks and notes…

 

Suddenly, I felt a gaze and looked up.

 

…But when I looked up in the direction I felt someone staring, my heart skipped a beat at the unexpected person who was there.

 

“Um, do you always study here?”

 

“(Yes… During exam periods, I come here often. Oh, and sometimes I come to borrow books, too.)”

 

Since it’s inside the library, my senpai speaks with his voice down to a minimum.

 

Senpai’s voice had a seductive quality that made my cheeks flush involuntarily.

 

“(Senpai, do you study here too?)”

 

“Yeah. You know, since I’m a student preparing for exams.”

 

“(Oh, right. Sorry for asking something weird…)”

 

Attempting to hide my confusion, I responded to Senpai by writing in the notebook that was open instead of using my phone. 

 

Though not as fast as texting due to my selective mutism, I could write faster than most people.

 

“(…)”

 

“(Huh?)”

 

Then, for some reason, he suddenly started writing something below the words I had just written.

 

“(When I thought about it, written communication is the best way to communicate because it doesn’t bother those around you.)”

 

“(……Huh)”

 

“(It’s like having a secret conversation just between the two of us. I feel like emotions can be conveyed better through handwriting than digital devices.)”

 

“(…)”

 

Ah, again. Again, Senpai…

 

“(Your handwriting, Shiori, is neat and easy to read.)”

 

Why does this person effortlessly offer words that warm and make others happy?

 

When I looked up from my notebook, I saw him peering down at me and smiling.

 

Recently, I’ve been hearing that beautiful voice and seeing that lovely face every day. 

 

And yet, is it because this is a different place from usual—neither the station nor the train, but the quiet library—that makes my heart race so much?

 

All that could be heard were our breaths and the pounding of my heart, loud enough to drown out everything else.

 

Slowly taking the pen in hand, I started writing beneath the words just written.

 

“(This is the first time someone has said that to me. I always thought that communication through writing was troublesome.)”

 

“(Yeah, I get that. But don’t girls like exchanging letters?)”

 

“(Letters and writing are different. It’s easier to have a quick conversation, and whenever we communicated through writing, I always felt sorry for the other person.)”

 

“(That makes sense. But isn’t saying that written communication is bothersome while being able to write long letters somewhat contradictory? It’s like saying you’re a bother yourself, isn’t it?)”

 

I just realized that Senpai, who writes beautifully, is left-handed.

 

My notebook was placed exactly in the middle between me and my senior who was sitting on my right.

 

Since I’m right-handed, there’s no need to adjust the notebook, allowing us to naturally write without hindrance.

 

…Such trivial things bring me joy.

 

Although Senpai probably doesn’t think about such things, I can’t help but feel delighted by even these small gestures.

 

“(But at least I don’t find it bothersome. It actually makes me kind of excited.)”

 

Perhaps I’m starting to be drawn to him.

 

After that, the two of us studied side by side for a while.

 

Senpai was studying for exams, and I was studying for tests.

 

I didn’t think I could concentrate, but seeing Senpai focused on his desk without a care in the world, I desperately clung to my notes.

 

──And then, an hour and a half had passed.

 

Suddenly, my notebook was tapped twice with an index finger, making me snap my head up. I met the gaze of my senior, his eyes gently narrowed.

 

My gaze fell back to where the tapping sound had come from, I saw my senpai’s beautiful handwriting.

 

“(It’s getting late, so I’ll walk you home. Let’s go together.)”

 

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read that outrageous statement.

 

(To-together? Together… Huh!?)

 

“(If you want to study a little longer, I’ll wait, but it’s already pretty late).”

 

(No, no, no, no…!!)

 

“(I’m sorry, really. It’s okay. I always go home alone, and I’ll do the same today…!)”

 

In a panic at his offer to walk me home, I hurriedly responded, only to find him writing in the notebook again without any hesitation.

 

“(The reason you always go home alone is because you leave the library alone, right? Today, you’re not alone, and I want to walk you home.)”

 

“…”

 

“(I’m not joking. I’m sorry, but even if you think I’m being persistent, I won’t back down.)”

 

Upon reading that, when I raised my head, I met his serious expression for some reason.

 

As I involuntarily held my breath, Senpai, this time not writing it down, slowly opened his mouth.

 

“From now on, when you go home alone, leave the library one hour earlier.”

 

“…”

 

“I’d be worried if a cute girl was walking alone at this hour, okay?”

 

With that, my heart raced against the palm of his hand placed gently above my head.

 

(H-He called me cute… H-He thinks I’m cute…?)

 

“… If you understand, please reply.”

 

“(Y-Yes!!)”

 

As I desperately nodded, Senpai smiled beautifully and said, “Okay.”

 

Hastily gathering my belongings, I left the library. As Senpai said, it was already dark outside.

 

“Is this the right direction?”

 

In response to those words, I hurriedly nodded, and as Senpai started walking naturally, I hurriedly followed behind.

 

“Oh… The cherry blossoms have started to fall. Did you go flower viewing?”

 

“(No.)”

 

“I didn’t do it this year either. Last year, I went with my school friends on a whim, but this year, maybe because I’m a student preparing for exams, everyone seems a bit tense. It’s hard to get into that kind of atmosphere.”

 

While walking along the cherry blossom-lined street on the way home, Senpai muttered to himself while looking up at the sky.

 

The cherry blossoms, which scattered in the wind, had already passed their peak, and a carpet of cherry blossom petals spread out beneath my feet.

 

(…So beautiful.)

 

Senpai walked on the carpet of cherry blossom petals.

 

The moonlit profile of Senpai and the occasional cherry blossom petal falling painted a more radiant aura around him.

 

(…He must be really popular.)

 

I glanced back from the side of his face I had glimpsed. Just thinking about it made me feel a prickling pain in the depths of his chest, like a needle had stabbed me.

 

“But don’t you think it’s a waste if the rest of our high school life is just focused on exams?”

 

“(Yes…)”

 

“Well, if you say that, the ones who are seriously thinking about their future might get mad.”

 

As I wonder what kind of future he was envisioning, he gives a light throaty laugh.

 

Thinking that, when I looked up again at Senpai’s profile, he noticed my gaze for a moment, smiled awkwardly, then turned back and quietly opened his mouth.

 

“My father is a doctor.”

 

“(Huh,?)”

 

“So, I’m also aiming for medical school.”

 

“(M-Medical school…!)”

 

“…In the future, will I become a cool doctor?”

 

I froze up and opened my eyes as I saw my senpai say such things without any hesitation while smiling playfully.

 

A doctor. Senpai, a doctor…

 

What should I do? I can imagine it so vividly, it’s amazing…!!

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“(Ah… No, it’s amazing…! Because, I can imagine it so vividly…!!)”

 

“Eh… So,”

 

“(Ah…!)”

 

I panicked because he couldn’t understand the words. I hastily took out my student handbook and pen, and on the blank page, I quickly wrote, “That’s amazing. Senpai as a doctor suits you too much!! In fact, I’m sure you’ll be an amazing doctor!!” With a speed I had never experienced before.

 

Reading that under the streetlights, Senpai returned his gaze to me.

 

“…Do you really think so?”

 

“(Y-Yes!!)”

 

“Really?”

 

“(Yes…!!)”

 

As I nodded vigorously multiple times, Senpai looked at me, seeming strangely happy, and returned the student notebook along with the words, ”Thank you.”

 

“If Shiori is cheering for me, then I have to work hard in my exam studies, right?”

 

Even though he clearly doesn’t actually think that way, he teased in a playful tone and resumed walking.

 

…He’s so cool and kind.

 

With a mind sharp enough to choose medical school as his path, a broad heart, and very considerate.

 

Look, even now, he’s unconsciously walking on the side closer to the road.

 

There’s no reason why girls would overlook such a perfect senpai.

 

He must be popular… It feels impolite even to think such a thing.

 

If there was a senpai like him were at our school, he would undoubtedly reign as the object of admiration for girls.

 

(…Come to think of it, I wonder if Senpai has someone he likes.)

 

My heart creaked slightly at the thought in the back of her mind.

 

If, if…

 

If Senpai had a girlfriend or someone he liked, what should I do?

 

Then it would be rude and a bother to rely on him like this and it would be a nuisance to him.

 

As I followed my senior while thinking about this, he suddenly looked at me and slowly opened his mouth again.

 

“…When I’m with Shiori, I discover a lot of things.”

 

“…”

 

“It’s surprising to hear someone say that being a doctor suits me. I’ve never been told that before, so I was surprised myself.”

 

“(Huh?)”

 

“Ah. I guess I was surprised at how happy I was to hear that.”

 

“(…Senpai?)”

 

“I see. Maybe I’m cut out to be a doctor. If Shiori says so, I’m starting to think it might be the case.”

 

The rushing wind tousled Senpai’s bangs, casting shadows over his eyes.

 

As our gentle gazes met, his hand unexpectedly reached out and gently touched my hair.

 

“…Words can convey emotions too.”

 

“(Emotions?)”

 

“For example, when you’re anxious, the letters become a bit smaller. When you’re happy, they seem more vibrant. When you’re hesitant, the letters appear to waver.”

 

“…”

 

“When you’re surprised, the letters take on a slight curve. And when you desperately want to convey something to someone… the ends of the letters bounce unconsciously.”

 

“…”

 

“I realized once again that important feelings can be conveyed even if you don’t say the words out loud.”

 

“The cherry blossom petal was stuck in your hair.”

 

Softly. The petals that left Senpai’s fingertips were carried away by the wind and disappeared into the night.

 

Without following his gaze, I stared straight into my senpai’s wavering eyes.

 

…Senpai says I taught him.

 

But in reality, he was the one who made me notice various things.

 

It’s me who has learned a lot from Senpai.

 

(…Hey, Senpai)

 

Speaking up against sexual harassment takes courage, but helping someone who is being harassed also takes great courage, right?

 

I never imagined someone would come along who could so easily digest the truth written in my student handbook.

 

For me, who cannot speak, Senpai taught me about the safe train cars.

 

But it’s not just that. Even his kindness alone is more than enough for me. Yet, Senpai still rides in the same car with me, ensuring nothing like that happens again.

 

Even if it’s written communication, it’s definitely easier to when it’s not written communication.

 

Of course, it’s easier to just talk.

 

But he called it “exciting” and didn’t make me feel at all bothered.

 

“I’m sure it’s around the corner, right?”

 

“(…)”

 

“15 minutes went by faster than I thought, huh?”

 

— Even now, I realize.

 

It’s dangerous to text while walking, so Senpai always threw me words I could respond to without using anything.

 

The only time I took out my student handbook was when there was something I really wanted to convey, but that was it.

 

Senpai always threw me words I could respond to with just “yes” or “no.” 

 

Even though he never said it out loud. But I realize his kindness, just like that.

 

… The world is still so warm.

 

Senpai has taught me so much in this short time.

 

“Well then, that’s it for me. …See you tomorrow, at the usual place.”

 

There were many words that I wanted to convey to my senpai who was looking up at me.

 

“Thank you very much.”

 

“I want to know more and more about you, Senpai.”

 

“…I want to be with you a little longer.”

 

But I couldn’t convey them in this blurry world.

 

As my trembling lips slowly opened to barely express my gratitude, Senpai’s palm gently touched my hair again.

 

“…It’s hard to leave when you look up at me with such a cute face.”

 

“…”

 

“If you don’t hurry home, Shiori’s parents will worry, right?”

 

Suddenly, his hand came down and touched my cheek

 

But that hand was so cold. I wondered if Senpai was really there in front of me.

 

For some reason, I felt terribly anxious. As if I was guided, I laid my hand on top of Senpai’s hand that was touching my cheek.

 

“…”

 

(… I hope Itsuki-senpai’s hand won’t get any colder.)

 

His hand tensed at my sudden movement.

 

Pretending not to notice, I closed my eyes and quietly prayed in my heart.

 

Please, please.

 

May Senpai always be smiling.

 

May Senpai’s days overflow with happiness.

 

You can have my share of the happiness that’s meant for me, Senpai.

 

Because I don’t need anything to be happier than this.

 

I hope you can keep smiling forever.

 

I hope that something that would make my senpai sad never happens.

 

My senpai.

 

May you always remain kind.

 

“……”

 

“……”

 

Slowly, lifting my eyelids again, I hastily took a step back.

 

The hand that had been touching my warm cheek quietly withdrew, and in that moment, the night breeze passed through.

 

As my eyes swam in the coldness, Senpai, as if to keep me connected, quietly uttered my name.

 

“Shi…ori”

 

“…”

 

I might have been noticed.

 

I might have been noticed.

 

Ah, me.

 

I’m thinking about Itsuki-senpai──

 

“(I-I’ll see you again tomorrow…!!!)”

 

“Huh?”

 

I said that desperately, trying to shake off my feelings for my senpai, and ran back down the road to my house.

 

Along the way, I couldn’t look back.

 

Just before entering the house─somehow…

 

Somehow, I felt like he was still standing on the other side of a corner I couldn’t see.

 

“(I’m such an idiot…)”

 

Trying to conceal my pounding heartbeat, I roughly opened the front door and collapsed there, as if drained of all strength.

 

On the cold marble floor, there was a single fallen cherry blossom petal.

 

It wasn’t until my feverish body finally calmed down that I noticed it.

 

　*

　 ﾟ

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　+:

　｡

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　 ﾟ

 

『Viola（ヴィオラ）』

A Young Girl’s Love.

 

 

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