VOLUME 3 — AUTUMN
Chapter 14: Sweet Alyssum
On the day when I told Senpai about my past, Senpai kept holding me tightly, both my body and my heart, until I stopped crying.
The rain continues to fall, and no matter how hard I try to cool my body and mind, it won’t stop. Before I knew it, I was frozen to the point where I couldn’t do anything.
Senpai continued to warm me, as if trying to hold me together.
“(…I have to go to school.)”
Senpai, who had escorted me home because my mom was worried about the rain, said to me until the end, “You don’t have to push yourself. It’s better to take a rest if you want to,” in words soaked with kindness.
Taking advantage of Senpai’s words like that, I skipped school for a week, but I finally rallied my spirits again, knowing I couldn’t go on like this.
“Oh, Shiori. Are you feeling better?”
As I opened the living room door wearing my uniform, my mom’s gentle voice and smile greeted me.
My mom probably knew I was lying about not feeling well, but she pretended not to notice.
I smiled as hard as I could to say ”Thank you” to my mother, and then opened the door to move forward.
One week later, at the train station platform.
I was taking an earlier train than usual, at an unfamiliar time, but I was boarding the familiar first car.
The scenery hadn’t changed at all from the platform, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
…After that day, I had exchanged casual conversations with Senpai on LINE a few times, but I hadn’t told him that I was going to school today.
Because I knew that kind Senpai would worry if I told him I was going to school.
Not only that, but I also felt hesitant about Senpai coming to pick me up in the morning and taking me home after school.
If it ended with just my own self-consciousness, that would be fine.
But if it really happened, it would mean causing Senpai more trouble than now.
For Senpai, this was a very important time for his future, and I must not do anything to interfere with it.
…But Senpai was much more clever than I was at thinking about such things.
“…Are you in a rebellious period, like taking an early train?”
“…”
“I guess it’s important to build trust for times like this. Your mom uses cute stamps in LINE and is so friendly.”
I turned around sharply at the sudden voice from behind.
There, ahead of my gaze, stood Senpai in his autumn uniform, fully at ease.
Half of his hand was hidden in the sleeves of the loosely worn cardigan, and he held his pitch-black cellphone.
Senpai moved his cellphone flutteringly, then smiled smugly and slipped it into his chest pocket.
“I thought Shiori probably wouldn’t tell me if she decided to go to school because of some trivial reason like not wanting to cause me more trouble. So I told your mom beforehand, ‘Please contact me and let me know when Shiori goes to school in the morning.'”
“…”
“…I wouldn’t be so deeply involved if I thought it was a nuisance.”
As he said this, Senpai let out a self-deprecating smile and lowered his eyelashes in frustration.
As Senpai chuckled self-deprecatingly, saying, “I wonder if you really don’t trust me that much,” I shook my head from side to side repeatedly.
Seeing me like that, Senpai gently smiled and ran his hand over my head.
My vision blurred involuntarily at the unchanged warmth after a week.
There was no way I was going to cry in a place like this all morning, so I blinked my eyes repeatedly, trying to hide my feelings.
Senpai immediately noticed my condition and smiled faintly again, standing next to me to shield my body from the other passengers on the platform.
“…Why is this so unfair?”
“(…Huh?)”
But suddenly, those words dropped, surprising me, and tears naturally receded.
As I lifted my gaze, Itsuki-senpai was looking straight ahead without looking at me, frowning.
“It’s sad, but no matter how desperately you try to convey your feelings, there are people who can heartlessly say hurtful words, and those who live each day desperately end up getting hurt as if it’s a given.”
“…”
“I wanted to protect you from such heartless words, so I desperately tried to think of a way. …But I couldn’t find the best solution. In the end, I realized I’ve only been all talk and haven’t done anything for you.”
While saying this, Senpai, with a remorseful expression, lowered his eyelashes and murmured, “…I’m really sorry,” as if talking to himself.
Senpai’s profile and words caused my heart to race.
I took a deep breath to calm it down, then gently took Senpai’s cold hand in mine.
“…Shiori?”
“(…Senpai…)”
Senpai…
He’s truly a kind person after all.
To say he hasn’t done anything for me…
That’s impossible. There’s no way.
Because I’ve received so much kindness from Senpai.
I’m able to go to school today because of Senpai’s help.
Because Senpai warmed my heart when it was frozen that day, I was able to stay put.
“You don’t have to endure it. Because I’ll take care of everything…” Senpai doesn’t know how much those words saved me.
And that’s why I’m standing here today because I felt I had to respond to his kindness.
“(…Hey, Senpai)”
“What’s wrong, Shiori?”
With a quiet smile directed towards Senpai, who seemed surprised by my sudden action, I continued.
When I did that, Senpai, who looked confused for a moment, frowned again.
Shaking my head lightly towards him, I slowly began to mouth to him.
“(I’ve received an irreplaceable kindness from you far beyond what’s enough.)”
“…Huh”
“(So, today, I want to repay that kindness. Over this past week, I’ve been thinking about it too. So… I’ve decided to try harder.)”
“…”
“(Please watch over me. I want Itsuki-senpai to see the new me that I’ve become.)”
Once I finished speaking and withdrew my hand quietly, it seemed Senpai couldn’t fully grasp everything from just the movement of my lips, so he looked at me with a complicated expression.
Seeing Senpai’s reaction, I smiled again and took out my phone, running my fingers over it.
“(I can’t say it twice because it’s embarrassing. So, it’s a secret.)”
“Eh…”
“(Forget it. But if you can, don’t forget it.)”
What? Words that are so unreasonable and incomprehensible that even I am shocked.
Yet, when I looked up at Senpai again, he smiled a slightly exasperated smile at me.
But all of that was my true feelings, and that alone was everything to me at that moment.
“(…Are you okay, Senpai?)”
As I boarded the train and took in the view of unfamiliar passengers, I directed my words to Senpai sitting beside me.
Today, Senpai, with his usual perfect appearance, seemed somewhat tired. It’s probably not just my imagination.
When I glanced at Senpai’s handsome profile, he suddenly said, “Shiori, you look worried.”
Though Senpai always cared about me, deep down, I wished he would focus on himself for once.
“Well, since I can apply with a recommendation, I have a great opportunity, so I have to do my best, right?”
“(It’s almost…soon, right?)”
“Yeah. I’m planning to submit my application at the beginning of November, take the exam in early December, and the results will be announced four days later. So, I’m planning to ask the teacher to check the documents today.”
“(It’s really happening soon. But… when you rest, make sure you rest properly and don’t push yourself, okay?)”
Saying this, as I looked at Senpai again, his eyes softened.
Suddenly, he lightly poked my forehead with his finger, and when I opened my eyes in surprise, Senpai smiled at me.
“…It goes both ways.”
“(Huh?)”
“Shiori, please don’t push yourself too hard.”
“…”
“If something happens at school today, report it immediately. Also, as you probably know, I’ll pick you up at that school on the way home, so please let me know when you’ll go back.”
“(But…but if you do that, your Senpai will have a hard time taking the entrance exam…)”
“If you don’t keep important things close to you, won’t you become anxious and unable to focus? It’s the same thing.”
“….”
“So, make sure to keep in touch. Promise.”
With those words, as if not allowing any further objections, the train smoothly slid into the station.
As Senpai stood up in a hurry, I chased after him, and my heart fluttered as Senpai smiled mischievously at me.
“Well, see you after school.”
With that, he passed through the ticket gate and turned back with a wave of his hand.
However, as I watched his back walking towards the opposite exit, I had a feeling of unease that surely was not just my imagination.
＊ ＊ ＊
Arriving at school and finishing my week-long job as a library committee member, I headed to the classroom feeling overwhelmed with anxiety.
As I made my way to the classroom, I could still feel the occasional glances directed at me.
But somehow, those glances seemed more hesitant, and I felt like the number of them had decreased compared to a week ago.
When I saw the class plate and the classroom door that was left open, I couldn’t help but feel a peak of tension and anxiety.
(…I’ve decided to do my best.)
With determination in my heart, I took a deep breath quietly.
With my determination unwavering, I hastened my steps towards the classroom.
“…”
As I stood in front of the door and stepped into the classroom, my classmates, noticing me, all stopped moving at once.
Each of them looked at me with widened eyes and surprised expressions.
“Sh-Shiori!?”
“(Ayu-chan…)”
In the classroom, where the atmosphere had changed, Ayu-chan was the first to spot me and run up to me.
“Shiori, if you were coming, you should have told me. I would have gone to pick you up! Wait, did you come after doing your library committee duties? How diligent can you be!”
“(Ayu-chan, I’m sorry… Thank you for worrying me a lot and protecting me)”
When I conveyed that with just the movement of my lips, she responded with, “…What’s that? I don’t understand at all.”
Though she should have understood, Ayu-chan, embarrassed, looked away from me.
Seeing Ayu-chan’s unchanged demeanor and attitude gives me courage once again.
Then, I looked around the classroom just once and bowed deeply to my classmates who were looking at me with embarrassment.
“(I’m sorry for causing you all so much trouble.)/”
As I bowed my head and moved my lips to say that, my classmates exclaimed, “Huh? What?” Each of them let out curious voices.
Looking at everyone, I slowly moved my timid feet as if they were about to take root in the ground, and went to the front of the blackboard. There, I picked up a pure white chalk.
[I’m sorry for causing you all so much trouble. I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable]
After writing that much, I turned back to my classmates and bowed deeply once.
Then, I lifted my head again, turned to face the blackboard, and slid the chalk I held onto the deep blue surface which looked like a bright blue sky.
[I’m truly sorry for making you all worry and feel anxious. But… I still want to continue attending this school. It might be selfish, but I want to graduate together with the friends I’ve made here, and with everyone who has accepted me up until today.]
…It was always difficult to run away.
People easily say that if you’re suffering, you should just run away, but I had nowhere to run to.
Until today, I had desperately searched for a way to escape from the past that kept chasing me, but I couldn’t find a single one.
That’s something I’ve painfully realized over the past five years.
Just when I thought society had finally forgotten about it, it was dug up again, and I was devastated each time.
…I’m sure it will continue to be like this in the future.
So, I’m giving up.
If there’s no escape, then I’ll give up on running away.
I’ll give up and abandon─── I’ve decided to accept it.
[My father caused an irreversible accident while at work. Many people lost their lives in that accident. That’s all true.]
[But… please allow me to say this for the honor of my father. My father didn’t cause the accident on purpose. He loved everyone involved in his work and took pride in his work above all else.]
My trembling fingertips were dyed white.
Writing and erasing, writing and erasing.
I didn’t have the courage to look back at the expressions on the faces of my classmates, who still had their backs turned to the blackboard where the words I had just written had disappeared, but I continued desperately spelling out the words.
[I’m not asking you to accept me. I just want to be allowed to stay in this classroom, that’s all. And please, don’t hurt the important people around me. They’ve just been by my side, giving me smiles.]
After writing this, I smiled at Ayu-chan, who was standing diagonally behind me. She murmured quietly, “Shiori…” as beautiful teardrops fell from her eyes.
Thank you for always protecting me.
But from now on, I’ll become strong enough to protect you too.
Then, next time, I’ll proudly say that you’re my precious friend.
[I’m truly sorry for everything until now. And…]
“(…Please continue to support me from now on!!)”
I didn’t put the last words into writing, but I moved my lips as hard as I could while looking at my classmates.
It might not have gotten through. They might not accept it.
─── But, that’s okay.
I want to believe that there’s meaning in conveying it.
I want to believe that by telling people this, something will change even if it’s just a little bit.
I exhaled trembling breaths and gently lowered my eyelashes, and many pairs of feet appeared in my field of vision.
…I believe, I want to believe.
But honestly─── I’m really scared.
As Itsuki-senpai said, there are people who can easily say heartless words.
I honestly feel that there is no point in saying anything to such people.
But… I want to believe until the end that there are no such people in the place where I am.
“……We’re the ones who should apologize.”
“……”
“We’re the ones… we’re sorry for various things.”
That was sudden.
A voice fell from the deep blue sky, and I hastily raised my lowered gaze.
In the corner of the classroom, when I turned my gaze to where the voice came from, there were the boys who had stood at the forefront and confronted me that day.
They lowered their eyes awkwardly when our eyes met, but still, they each spun out words.
“At that time… we probably went too far. But, we couldn’t back down anymore…”
“To be honest, we knew. We somehow felt that the rumors were strange, but still, it was fun to join in with everyone making noise, so we got carried away…”
“I couldn’t refute what that guy who suddenly came in said because deep down, I noticed that contradiction in my heart.”
“When I was told, for the first time, if I were in your position… that’s when I first thought about it.”
“The guy who started the stupid rumors and the guy who spread them for fun are ultimately the same… that’s what I realized.”
“I wasn’t that much of a kid to not understand that… I’m now really embarrassed that I got swept up by the surroundings.”
“Even now… you might not trust us even if we say something like this. But still… we’re really sorry for hurting you in various ways.”
“…Really, we’re sorry.”
Saying that, they looked straight at me and bowed deeply.
There was no lie in their words.
Maybe I can believe there’s no lie because I, too, like them, have had many regrets and reflections. Because I’ve been inspired to do better.
In the end, both they and I were similar.
We turned our backs on each other, never trying to look each other in the eye.
I didn’t think of taking any action myself, waiting for the rumors to naturally disappear.
Surely, they were the same.
Not taking any action themselves, just going along with the flow of the surroundings.
If they weren’t right, then neither was I.
It’s never easy to accept things.
There are people who can say heartless words and show rejection.
But… there are also people who understand and show compassion for such a person’s heart.
Descending from the podium, I slowly walked towards them, who were still bowing their heads to me.
They noticed my shadow, and they also slowly raised their heads.
Our gazes met again, and as tears that were about to fall were desperately held back, I quietly extended my right hand to them.
“(Thank you.)”
“…”
─── Look, even here, there was kindness that Senpai taught me.
“Your voice, I heard it properly.”
Because Senpai taught me that if you speak sincerely, it will be conveyed.
Our hands slowly overlapped.
Smiling unintentionally at that, I tried to say, “Let’s continue to support each other,” but─── at that moment.
“Shiori!!”
“(Renji?)”
“He’s─── Souma-senpai, he’s here right now…”
Suddenly, Renji burst into the classroom, out of breath and showing a worried expression.
His words left me speechless.
“I… I shouldn’t have said such things…”
“───”
─── It was like a future abruptly snatched away by the muddy ground due to continuous rain.
I’ve always been too focused on myself to see what’s around me.
I was so relieved to finally see the blue sky that I failed to realize how dangerous it was today.
＊ ＊ ＊
In the morning, after parting with Shiori, as I headed to school alone, I saw a familiar figure standing in front of the school gate as usual.
As soon as he noticed me, he released his body from the wall he was leaning against and walked towards me with furrowed brows.
“…”
“Morning. Do you need something from me, Mr. Childhood friend?”
When I smiled at him, his expression was perfectly described as a Buddha-like face, and, the wrinkles between his brows deepened even further.
Wearing the same school uniform as Shiori’s, he was clearly trying to intimidate me. What could he possibly want from me?
I couldn’t shake the feeling that the conversation about to happen wouldn’t be a pleasant one.
“…I hate you.”
“Yes, I understand that very well.”
I thought that would be the first thing he’d say.
But even with a smile on my face, he went as far as to say, “I really hate that side of you,” while still maintaining that serious expression.
“And? What business does the guy I hate have today? Shiori and I just parted ways at the station a moment ago.”
“Yeah, she’s on her way to school…?”
“It seems so. I thought she could take a little more rest, but Shiori… she’s always so straightforward and clumsy.”
As I recalled Shiori’s refreshed expression from this morning, a smile naturally formed on my face this time.
Shiori is stronger and more resilient than I think.
At the same time, she’s fragile and delicate, easily broken by even the slightest distortion.
Well, that’s why I have to keep an eye on her.
“…Is she okay?”
“I wonder. Why don’t you go after her right now and see for yourself?”
This time, with a hint of malice, I said that, then turned my gaze away as a signal to leave, intending to leave him behind right there─but.
“Oh, She has! Shiori has complete trust in you!!”
As I tried to pass him by, he grabbed my arm with such force that it hurt, making it impossible for me to do so.
Feeling the weight of his words and the strength of his grip, I turned my gaze back to him.
And when I did, I could feel the strength in his eyes piercing straight into me, and this time, I firmly rooted myself to the spot.
It wasn’t that he was testing me this time; it was more like a plea, yet his love for Shiori was evident in his eyes.
“I know. That’s why I’ve decided not to betray Shiori’s trust.”
“…”
“I don’t know how much I can live up to Shiori’s expectations. But I will never do anything that would make Shiori sad.”
“S-So, does that mean… you… care about Shiori…?”
“All you wanted to know was that? If so, I’ll leave now───”
But just as I was about to leave, he suddenly spoke in a desperate voice, saying something unexpected.
“…The culprit…”
“Huh?”
“The one who spread the rumors about Shiori on Twitter… I-I might know who it is…”
I could tell from his tone and demeanor that he wasn’t lying to stop me.
And─── I could also sense that he was afraid of something.
“Who is it?”
“…”
“Tell me everything you know.”
Even I was surprised at how cold my voice sounded.
But I had no time to contain my emotions. I turned my body towards him after shaking off his grip, and looked him straight in the eyes, which oozed confusion.
He flinched for a moment at my appearance, but then, as if he had made up his mind, he cleared his throat once and began to speak slowly.
“I… I liked Shiori when we were kids. But when we entered middle school and I saw Shiori being ostracized and spoken ill of because of those rumors, I felt like I had to protect her more than ever before. That feeling is still strong now, so to me, Shiori is more like a little sister, that kind of feeling…”
Strangely enough, I don’t feel any disgust at the words being spun out with a guilty conscience, as if they were confessing their feelings.
“So, when I… When I first talked to Shiori about you. She flat out denied any negative things about you that I said. Seeing her resolve, I just… I felt like, ‘Ah, Shiori has found someone else besides me who will protect her…’ and then… I don’t know, it just made me really frustrated…”
“…So? Did you spread rumors?”
“N-No!! I just… talked about my feelings to a certain Senpai… that’s all…”
“…A certain Senpai?”
“Y-Yeah… That person… is a senior from my middle school soccer team, who now goes to the same high school as you… Actually, I heard about those rumors from that senior…”
“…”
“‘Your childhood friend is being toyed with by Souma Itsuki. If you don’t pull him away quickly, or Shiori-chan will get hurt…’”
When he said that, his voice trembled again. He lowered his eyes, his fists shaking with regret.
“But, looking back now… There were a lot of weird things. The stories I heard about you from that senior were almost like one-sided, malicious gossip. And, above all, I… I wonder if I ever explained to that senior that Shiori is my childhood friend…”
I too felt a sense of discomfort hearing his words.
Shiori and he, childhood friends, were a year below me in school. So that Senpai in the soccer club must be in the same grade as me.
A guy from the same grade as me in the soccer club.
That phrase, which struck a chord with me, somewhere…
“I consulted about Shiori right after I met you and Shiori at the festival. At that time, I… I ended up telling that Senpai everything about Shiori’s past as he asked…”
“…”
“Though it’s just making excuses now, at that moment, I guess I lost it… seeing your greatness again, realizing my own worthlessness… So, along with a sense of remorse, I just…”
“…”
“And then… right after that, rumors about Shiori started spreading on Twitter. I also thought about why now, but the timing seemed too perfect, so I’ve been thinking lately, maybe… there’s only one answer…”
“Could it be…”
“Huh?”
“Was he… there at that time?”
“At that time?”
“At the festival. Was he among your friends?”
“Well, at the festival…? I-I was there, but… that Senpai was the one who first noticed that Shiori and you were together…”
“…”
＊ ＊ ＊
“… Is that soccer club guy a fan of mine?”
“Hmm… It’s not that, exactly. Maybe he’s interested in that girl?”
＊ ＊ ＊
I found him.
At that time, while everyone was looking at Shiori with curiosity, there was one guy who looked at me with eyes full of hatred.
His eyes, dripping with animosity, occasionally looked at Shiori in her yukata with lustful eyes.
And recently, I met that guy.
“…Ah, hey!!”
“…”
Rushing forward, I hurried towards the club building, crossing the ground where students were doing club activities.
Among the bustling underclassmen, I found a guy sitting on the bench, looking out of place with his legs crossed arrogantly.
Without noticing me, he casually spoke words that sparked suspicion within me.
“Look, there’s a rumor about that girl who can’t make a sound—I also heard about it from a kohai who is good friends with that girl, so I’m pretty knowledgeable about it, so feel free to ask me anything. Or rather, the Twitter account where the rumor first spread. That guy is becoming a hero, right?”
“S-Senpai…?”
However, it seemed that Shiori’s childhood friend felt the same. The voice murmured from behind, trembling terribly.
“Like, her father being a murderer, that’s not serious, right? It’s just creepy, isn’t it?”
— Don’t joke around.
Before I knew it, I was standing in front of him, grabbing the proud guy’s collar as he wore a smug expression.
“…S-Souma!?”
Startled by the sudden appearance and the unexpected grab of his collar, he naturally let out a surprised cry.
But I didn’t care about that, I looked down at him with cold eyes, and slowly opened my mouth.
“…It’s you?”
“Huh?”
“I’m asking if you’re the one who spread those rumors about Shiori on Twitter.”
“…”
With a grunt, I pulled his collar forcefully towards me with all my might, causing him to grimace in discomfort, as if he had trouble breathing.
But even with that, as I put more force into the hand I’m holding, the eyes of his eyes turn towards me──
“If… if it was…?”
“Was it you who spread the rumors about Shiori on that Twitter?”
“Huh-?”
With a tug, I pulled up the chest of that guy who looked proud, who suddenly appeared, without any warning.
“If… if that’s the case, so what…?”
The ugly fire of hatred I saw at that time was instilled in me.
“I-I just… I just told everyone the truth!! For everyone’s sake… for everyone to be able to live with a little peace of mind, I just told the truth…”
I couldn’t help but feel nothing, even after hearing his desperate plea.
Despite learning the value of words through meeting Shiori, his voice ringing out before me didn’t resonate with my heart at all.
But… my disdain for him only grew stronger.
“…Are you serious?”
“…”
“…If you’re serious, then you’re beyond help.”
The words I spat out were filled with the utmost contempt.
Even I could feel the temperature draining from my own eyes as I stared at the guy in front of me.
His face turned so pale that the phrase ‘shriveled up’ seemed to fit him perfectly as he opened his mouth again, this time in a panicked manner.
“But it’s not my fault… It’s… it’s her fault… It’s Shiori-chan’s fault… I’ve been watching Shiori-chan for much longer than you… “
“…”
“But then you… You suddenly came in and deceived Shiori-chan… Really, it wasn’t supposed to be like this… And yet…”
“…”
“…And yet, someone like you, who has everything and can do anything, wouldn’t understand how I feel!! I was far more interested in Shiori-chan than you were…”
“── The order doesn’t matter, right?”
“…”
“Knowing when and for how long you’ve liked someone. Such vague claims don’t hold in love. What matters is… how much effort you’ve put into getting closer to the other person’s heart.”
While saying this, I recalled everything with Shiori until today.
It’s only been half a year since we met.
But that half-year period was enough time for me to get to know, understand, gaze into, and feel love about a girl named Shiori.
Even this person, who now finally silenced in front of my words and showed regret in their eyes, must surely understand that.
But, no matter how much this person regrets, what they did is unforgivable.
“You just called me ‘someone who can have anything and do whatever they want.’ You don’t know anything about me, so you have no right to say something like that. And that… ─ The same goes for Shiori.”
“…”
“If the feelings you have for Shiori were the same as mine… if you and I were in reverse positions… I would never, no matter how much I feel frustrated, do anything to hurt Shiori like you did.”
“…Ugh…”
Saying that, I released my hand from their collar as if throwing them away.
With that momentum, the man stumbled and fell on his butt.
Looking down at him again with icy eyes, I restrained my trembling fist with all my rationality and quietly opened my mouth.
“…Don’t come near Shiori again. If you ever hurt Shiori even a little next time, I won’t forgive you.”
“…”
“And, someone like you… don’t casually mention Shiori’s name.”
After spitting out those words, I turned my back on them and walked away.
As I did, I met the eyes of Shiori’s childhood friend who seemed stunned watching our exchange.
To those eyes filled with guilt and despair, I wanted to say “Forget it.”
I tried to open my mouth so as not to be swallowed up by the silence that had descended upon me, but…
“Wh-What do you mean, acting so high and mighty…!”
“…”
“It’s not my fault at all! It’s that woman who didn’t respond to my feelings and you who came in and stole her from me halfway through…”
That’s how I was interrupted by the words suddenly thrown at me from behind.
Stopping my steps, without turning back, I stood there, and at the corner of my vision, I saw Shiori’s childhood friend trembling in confusion.
“Sen-Senpai? What are you saying…”
“Now you know what’s going on! I’m going to spread more photos of that woman on Twitter than ever before! I’m going to spread the rumors even more! And this time, it’s over for that woman too! No more! I’ll make you suffer!”
“…”
“It’s you and that woman who are at fault! You both made fun of me… Even though she’s just a kid of a murderer. Her father is nothing but a useless scum…”
“…”
“A woman who can’t speak and talk normally is lucky enough to be liked by a decent person like me! Stop getting carried away, you ‘defective product’…”
“…Hey!!”
“…”
Before I realized it, my body was moving on its own.
— “There are certainly people who can say heartless words without hesitation.”
In the corner of my mind, which was dyed black with anger, I remembered those words I said to Shiori just a few minutes ago.
Meeting Shiori, I learned the importance and kindness of words.
I wonders if she knows.
It seems that the moment her words are uttered, she possesses a mysterious power called the spirit of words that cannot be seen with the naked eye.
There is unseen power in spoken words, and they can turn those words into events that can happen in reality.
Such unrealistic things… I wouldn’t have believed them at all until now.
But now, I think.
Since meeting Shiori, that invisible power has always given me many emotions and motivations.
Shiori’s gentle words have always pushed me forward.
“O-Oi, Souma… Souma-senpai!”
“Ugh…”
“S-Senpai!! Stop it—“
“Hey!! What are you doing there!!”
“Ugh…”
“S-Souma!? Souma!?! Hey, stop!! Souma, get off right now…!!”
…
It was after some time─── since I heard the voice of an adult restraining me.
Before I knew it, I was on top, punching the face of the one begging for forgiveness.
Blood stained my fist, and I didn’t even realize my own hand was cut.
Forcibly grabbed by the adults who heard the commotion, pulled apart, struggling to breathe with every gasp, feeling the numbing pain in my hands, yet still… I felt like it wasn’t enough..
“S-Souma, why… why are you…”
“…Not enough.”
“W-What?”
“…It’s just… not enough…”
“…”
Even though my fist was cut, and the pain spread as if chasing after it.
No matter how much pain I felt, I still felt like I was missing something.
──Compared to the emotional scars that Shiori has suffered up until today.
Feeling like this pain is nowhere near enough, it’s frustrating, sad… and unbearable to think about.
As if to seal everything, a single blink, and a tear drop silently traced down my now cold cheek, falling softly.
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『Sweet Alyssum（アリッサム）』
The value beyond beauty.
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