Jiang Wang had lived in his own world for a long time.
When life goes too smoothly for too long, it’s easy to fall into this habit, as if all the rules and structures are tailor-made, and everything one does feels justified and natural.
He liked Ji Linqiu as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Clinging to Ji Linqiu felt just as right, an instinct so ingrained it didn’t even warrant a second thought.
It wasn’t until Peng Jiahui suddenly brought it up that Jiang Wang abruptly shifted to the perspective of the small-town residents of this era.
Homosexuality is a disease to them.
His mind spiraled rapidly, leaping from whether he and Ji Linqiu might be scrutinized and gossiped about by the entire town, to fears of losing his child, to imagining how Du Wenjuan would react if she found out.
Peng Jiahui, for his part, clearly realized the subject was too intrusive. He leaned his chair back against the wall, offering a nervous laugh. “Don’t get mad. That woman’s just crazy. Probably off her meds or something.”
Jiang Wang, however, was frantically trying to figure out where the slip had happened, as if desperately trying to extinguish a wildfire that could consume the person he loved.
Had he and Ji Linqiu stood too close together in front of Guan Hong? Had she seen him kissing Ji Linqiu on a rainy night? Or had someone else said something?
After a long moment, Jiang Wang, his voice dry, pretended to speak casually. “Guan Hong said that? Why would she suddenly bring it up?”
Peng Jiahui straightened in his seat, realizing Jiang Wang hadn’t denied it outright. Sweat began to bead on his forehead.
“You… you’re not seriously…”
Jiang Wang looked at him, wondering if this man had a recorder in his pocket.
And then he felt a surge of irony at even thinking such a thing.
“Yeah. I’d have to tell you sooner or later anyway. I wasn’t planning on hiding it.” He gripped the insulated food container Peng Jiahui had brought, sipping from the already-empty bowl of soup, waiting quietly for his reaction.
Like a child bracing for punishment.
Peng Jiahui sat there for a long time, rubbing his hands together. He stood up, then sat back down again.
“Give me the bowl.”
The middle-aged man took the bowl and carefully ladled out more of the creamy bone marrow soup, pouring just enough to fill it 8/10 full, ensuring it wouldn’t spill.
“It was empty. You didn’t have anything left to drink.”
Jiang Wang reflexively accepted the bowl and, while it was still warm, took another sip.
The little boy in his heart, expecting to be hit, was left dumbfounded.
“I really didn’t see this coming. I’m sorry. I just told Ji Linqiu the other day that I wanted to introduce him to someone,” Peng Jiahui said awkwardly. “Honestly, I don’t know much about… people like you. But, well, a lot of people say it’s easy to catch AIDS like this. You two should… pay attention to safety.”
Jiang Wang stiffened. “I don’t even know how two men are supposed to have sex. All we do is hold hands. How could we catch AIDS?”
Peng Jiahui was just as stunned. “You don’t know?”
He looked utterly baffled, as if trying to piece together the logic. “Are you sure you’re… actually like that?”
Could it be that everyone’s got this all wrong??
“Yes.” Jiang Wang lowered his head and drank his soup. “Before I met Ji Linqiu, I didn’t like anyone. No one.”
Peng Jiahui nodded awkwardly, never imagining his buddy would end up with his son’s English teacher. He cleared his throat. “You both seem to be very self-disciplined. You should be fine.”
“When Guan Hong told me, I slapped her twice. She was so angry she wanted to run around telling everyone.”
Not entirely sure if Jiang Wang had connections to the Hong Kong triads, Peng Jiahui hastily explained, “I threatened her. Told her if she spread rumors, I’d tell everyone she was caught in bed with three or four people. She got so scared she ran off. It’s all good.”
Jiang Wang was so amused that he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He thought that the most absurd thing was that he was discussing his sex life with his father.
Still, they were father and son — more like buddies at this point. There wasn’t much absurdity left that could top this.
Using magic to fight magic.
Jiang Wang found that his emotions were still within manageable limits, so he boldly gnawed on the tender meat of the bone, listening as Peng Jiahui continued.
“You guys really have it tough. I imagine you’re usually very cautious. Gossip is sharp as knives these days; you’ll need to protect Teacher Ji well.”
“You’re not disgusted?”
“Me?” Peng Jiahui replied awkwardly, “I’ve been on the receiving end of people’s disgust before, so I can kind of understand.”
Jiang Wang could mostly understand what he meant.
His father had been a drunkard for many years, inevitably earning resentment from the neighbors. It wasn’t surprising that he had developed a bit of empathy.
“—You know how I’ve always liked cooking, right? Back when I first married Wenjuan, and our relationship was still good, I’d often go buy groceries and make soup, taking care of my wife and child. People used to gossip behind my back, saying I wasn’t normal,” Peng Jiahui said, scratching his head. “Even now, when I cook or make soup, the neighbors still throw in some snide remarks.”
“‘Oh, cooking again? How virtuous!’” he mimicked their tone and laughed self-deprecatingly. “No one has it easy. Whatever you do, someone’s got to talk about it. Just a mess all around.”
Jiang Wang had never heard of this kind of thing. Having been single for over twenty years, he rarely cooked, but he knew Hongcheng was quite conservative. Men who drank and fought were ignored, but those who took care of kids and did housework were mocked as a “sissy”.
What would be seen as a virtue in cities like Beijing or Shanghai became a target for ridicule in small towns like this.
“When Guan Hong told me about you, I struggled with it for a long time,” Peng Jiahui said, lowering his head, his tone turning flat. “I wasn’t sure if putting Xingwang in your care was the right decision.”
Then, with a soft sigh, he continued, “I’ve realized I’m a selfish person.”
“Even knowing you and Teacher Ji are together, my first thought was to send Xingwang to Yuhan City, to let him study and live in a big city, so he wouldn’t suffer like his dad in a small place.”
“I want him to go to university in Beijing or Shanghai, or even abroad. I want his life to be as smooth as possible.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”
He quickly looked up at Jiang Wang, his demeanor suddenly uneasy and humble.
“As long as you’re good to Xingxing, nothing else matters.”
Ever since getting a promotion at his new job, Peng Jiahui had been trying to regain his dignity in front of Jiang Wang, speaking with a puffed-up confidence. He’d casually mention how much money he was making or talk about buying a fancy house, as if proving that he was worthy of being brothers with the successful Jiang Wang.
But this was the first time in months that he had humbled himself to this degree.
It was like he had painstakingly built himself up, only to dismantle it all in front of Jiang Wang, revealing his past helplessness and vulnerability.
Jiang Wang set down the bone in his hand, his nose suddenly stinging with emotion.
“Hey, what are you saying?” He didn’t want the atmosphere to get any heavier, so he pretended to be impatient. “You’re being so formal, it’s embarrassing.”
“Xingxing likes girls. We won’t influence him. That kid’s got plenty of ideas of his own.” Jiang Wang leaned his head on his hand, deliberately bringing up something Peng Jiahui didn’t dare ask about. “He’s already giving little gifts from the bookstore to win over a girl and even asking her out to the movies. You don’t need to worry.1…considering sexuality is inherent from birth and Xingxing = Jiang Wang….. Yeah, that boy is also gay. Probably bi/pan? Jiang Wang probably just telling Peng Jiahui this to calm him down though.”
“Ji Linqiu and I are mindful of the situation. We’d never act inappropriately in front of him.”
“This stuff… I always planned to tell you and to find the right time to talk to Xingwang’s mom about it. We wouldn’t deliberately hide it.”
Peng Jiahui nodded. Seeing that Jiang Wang had finished eating, he stood up to clean the table and the dishes. After a while, he added, “But when the day comes for Xingwang to leave, I’ll still remind him to call me if he ever feels unhappy or uncomfortable. I’ll come get him anytime.”
“It’s not because I don’t trust you.”
“That’s how it should be. Say whatever you need to say.” Jiang Wang watched as Peng Jiahui tidied up and prepared to leave. Sitting on the hospital bed, Jiang Wang suddenly said, “You know, you’ve learned to love Xingxing a lot more than before.”
“Really?” Peng Jiahui smiled, wiping the edge of the lunchbox with a damp tissue.
“Sometimes I think, if a person can’t even manage their own life, they can’t truly love others,” he said, looking at Jiang Wang with a newfound clarity. “Only when work is going well, and you’re warm and fed, do you have the energy to take care of others. Don’t you think so?”
Jiang Wang looked at him for a long time and slowly nodded.
Suddenly, he felt that all along, both Du Wenjuan and Peng Jiahui had just been missing the right opportunity.
In the first few years of their marriage, the massive layoffs in state-owned factories had hit them hard. Their rural upbringings left them with little guidance on what to do next.
If the opportunity had come at the right time, they might not have divorced. Jiang Wang might not have stumbled his way alone to the person he had become.
That realization prompted Jiang Wang to discharge himself from the hospital that evening. Hobbling, he made his way home.
Ji Linqiu was helping Xingwang with his homework. When he looked up, he seemed a little surprised.
“Your dad came by today,” Jiang Wang said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “He still hopes you’ll study in the provincial capital. He said he wants you to get into a good university in Beijing or Shanghai, or even go abroad.”
“If anything makes you uncomfortable in Yuhan, you can always call him. He’ll come get you.”
Peng Xingwang paused, then cheered excitedly.
“Awesome!”
The boy had become something of a hero at school in recent days. Surrounded by classmates clamoring for his autograph, he had filled up numerous yearbooks and had people creating new QQ accounts just to stay in touch with him.
Though parting was bittersweet, autumn would bring new adventures in a new city. Everything might become even more exciting!
“Oh, and one more thing,” Jiang Wang added after a moment’s thought. “Your dad has broken up with Auntie Guan. She won’t be coming around anymore.”
Peng Xingwang froze, worried he might have done something wrong.
Jiang Wang pinched the boy’s cheek, not realizing he’d been smiling ever since he got home.
“Your dad said he loves you very, very much.”
“He just wants you to always be happy.”
T/N:
Hm… I honestly this is the best result you can get considering the background of this story when it comes to the homosexuality acceptance. Also, it’s nice to see that Peng Jiahui truly repented from being a shitty abuser. It seems that his abusive tendencies weren’t nature, but nurtured from his surroundings (as most cases go).
Though… maybe that threat was a bit too nasty. But it’s a great effective deterrent…..
This is a series that I translated before I finished reading the whole story btw, I don’t know how the end will be (esp on whether Du Wenjuan will know Jiang Wang’s sexuality or accepts it), but my close friend highly recommended it, so here I am.
Please don’t spoil it in the comments, yeah?
A very personal rant ahead:
click here to read
I’m glad Guan Hong
Sure, I understand that the initial reason was misogyny – writing such a shallow, stereotypical female character was a mirror of real-world misogyny, and it shouldn’t be encouraged. But honestly? 1) Making a sweeping statement that every female antagonist in BL story is misogynistic isn’t helping anything. 2) Women are humans. Of course some women are horrible human beings. Making female villains are only realistic.
Instead, push for more well-written female antagonists instead. They don’t need to be always excusable, but just… more well-rounded.
