RKNDL chapter 2

Five minutes later, a colleague opened the elevator door and was startled to see Xie Zhinan standing there in a daze.

“Xiao Xie, didn’t you say you were going to eat? Why are you just standing here?” The colleague stepped in, pressed the elevator button, and noticing Xie Zhinan didn’t look well, asked, “Are you okay?”

Someone else entered, and Xie Zhinan finally lifted his head. His face was pale as paper, looking really unwell. After a long pause, he sluggishly responded, as if still distracted, “…I’m fine.”

His colleague thought he seemed a bit off, but didn’t ask further.

Soon, the elevator reached the cafeteria. The doors slowly opened, and someone entered. The colleague noticed Xie Zhinan was still in a daze and reminded him, “Xiao Xie, the cafeteria is here.”

Xie Zhinan’s reactions were a bit slow now, and his reception and response to speech were delayed. He could only rely on his instincts. Slowly, he raised his head, thanked his colleague, and then stepped out of the elevator.

However, when he arrived at the cafeteria, he suddenly forgot what he was supposed to do.

All he could remember in his mind were those cold, pitch-black eyes and that indifferent “Excuse me.”

It seemed his right eyelid twitching really wasn’t a good sign. Xie Zhinan felt a bit unlucky today. He had distanced himself from the city where he once loved, running far away, yet he still ended up encountering his ex-boyfriend in the company.

But Wen Yun seemed to have no memory of him.

Did he forget him?

Would he forget him?

Xie Zhinan felt a bit dazed, so much so that he began to doubt whether that bitter memory in his mind was real.

Could it be something he had imagined?

Xie Zhinan didn’t think he was important, nor did he think he was someone remarkable. He thought that Wen Yun had no reason to remember him.

But…

Is it possible to forget someone you were once with?

When he thought that, Xie Zhinan immediately felt a rush of shame and guilt, as if the fact that he had once been with Wen Yun was something bad and something that shouldn’t have happened.

It was like a thief who steals a treasure and then claims it as his own.

It really felt like a delusion.

At that thought, Xie Zhinan suddenly shuddered.

He realized that his thoughts had once again been led astray by Wen Yun. This experience was truly terrifying.

It was as if he was constantly being influenced by another person, like someone’s brand had been stamped onto his mind. He didn’t have to do anything, didn’t have to care, and yet it was so easy for his heart to be pulled along.

Xie Zhinan forced himself not to overthink, giving himself the mental command to take the tray and the small bowl of food, then sit at the table, mechanically pick up his chopsticks, and put the food into his mouth.

A strange taste spread in his mouth, and Xie Zhinan froze, completely coming back to his senses.

He looked down and saw that he had taken a portion of stir-fried celery with meat.

Celery.

He didn’t like eating celery.

How did he still make this mistake?

Xie Zhinan let out a heavy sigh, feeling somewhat powerless.

Actually, he was very good at controlling his emotions. He was used to disguising himself flawlessly, whether it was during his crush on Wen Yun or when they were together. Xie Zhinan had never caused any trouble for Wen Yun, as if he were following some kind of rule.

Even after their breakup, he never argued or caused a scene. He simply parted ways with Wen Yun quietly, never bothering him again.

He was good at controlling himself. He did it for Wen Yun back then, and even after their breakup, it was still for Wen Yun.

But after the breakup, it was to prevent Wen Yun from affecting him anymore.

Xie Zhinan had always thought he had done well. Everything went on as usual—he attended classes, looked for jobs, moved houses, worked—year after year

He thought he was doing fine.

But in reality, shortly after their reunion, he couldn’t even pick up the right dish.

Xie Zhinan felt a sense of frustration, as if he could never avoid being affected by Wen Yun. Wen Yun was calm and unaffected, not caring at all.

But his disguise had been shattered in an instant by this sudden reunion.

Xie Zhinan forced himself to focus and ate a few bites of food, but he couldn’t continue after just a few bites.

He returned to his workstation, and Li Mo’s desk was right next to his. When she saw him return, she leaned over and said, “Did you just see the new boss? He came right after you left. He’s really handsome, but he looks like he’s hard to approach.”

Xie Zhinan blinked slowly and asked softly, “…the new boss?”

He hadn’t had time to react earlier, and the sudden reunion had left his head spinning. It wasn’t until now that he finally had the mental clarity to think about it.

Wen Yun… why had he come here?

Xie Zhinan had a vague sense of what might be going on, but he didn’t want to think about it. He even entertained the faint hope that perhaps Wen Yun was just here for a business collaboration.

Though the possibility was slim, he reminded himself to always remember this small chance.

“I think his name is… Wen Yun?” Li Mo pulled out her phone and scrolled through their group chat. “Let me check, someone took a photo… Ah, found it!”

Li Mo held up her phone and brought it in front of Xie Zhinan. Xie Zhinan lowered his eyelids, his gaze falling on Li Mo’s phone screen.

The faint hope he had quickly vanished as he confirmed the truth, and in that instant, his heart raced with panic.

The weather that day was bad, and the lighting in the photo looked a bit dim and blurry, probably taken hastily.

In the crowded lobby on the first floor, Wen Yun was surrounded in the center of the crowd. It seemed he had noticed the person taking the photo. He slightly turned his head toward them, and his cold black eyes met the camera lens, indifferent, as if being photographed was something quite ordinary for him.

And indeed, it was ordinary.

Someone like Wen Yun was admired by many.

Xie Zhinan had once been just the most insignificant of them.

Li Mo put her phone away and said, “I heard he’s the chairman’s son. Just came back from abroad.”

Xie Zhinan’s mood grew complicated. He didn’t know how to feel about it. He only hummed in response and didn’t say anything further.

Seeing Xie Zhinan return from lunch still looking distracted, Li Mo asked, “Xiao Xie, what’s wrong? You seem a little off today.”

Xie Zhinan forced a smile and said, “Nothing, I told you I didn’t sleep well last night.”

Li Mo then suggested, “There’s still some time left during lunch break. How about taking a nap?”

Xie Zhinan had hardly slept at all the previous night. The whole day he felt foggy and his mind was overly excited—he wasn’t exactly tired, but his thoughts were a tangled mess, and he couldn’t continue talking to Li Mo. So he simply agreed to rest.

He put on his sleep mask, and everything turned dark. A swirl of thoughts crowded his mind, making everything feel chaotic.

He and Wen Yun had been high school classmates, and he had secretly admired Wen Yun for three years, only getting together after graduation.

He knew Wen Yun came from a wealthy family, someone who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, destined for success, but he hadn’t known Wen Yun was the son of the chairman of the Xin Yue Group.

Xin Yue was one of the top domestic corporations, with a strong reputation internationally as well.

For Xie Zhinan back then, liking Wen Yun was just about liking him—he didn’t care about anything else, so he never bothered to ask about Wen Yun’s family background.

…If he had known, perhaps he wouldn’t have joined Xin Yue.

But there were no ifs.

…

It soon started raining when work ended.

Xie Zhinan stood at the company’s entrance, pacing for a while. The rain was still heavy, with no sign of stopping.

He stared at the downpour, lost in thought.

He hadn’t brought an umbrella. The rain was heavy, and he couldn’t walk out.

The subway station was a bit far from here, and he would inevitably get wet. Summer was nearly over, and it was rare to have such heavy rain. The raindrops were as big as soybeans, falling with a loud patter, splashing water everywhere.

Of course, he could force his way through, but Xie Zhinan had been mentally exhausted the whole day. His restless mind made his instincts freeze his steps. So, he stopped and didn’t move.

Until he caught a glimpse of someone approaching from the corner of his eye. He instinctively turned his head to look and immediately froze.

Wen Yun was walking out of the elevator. The sky was gloomy, but he stood out—his skin was pale, a cold white, and his face was expressionless. Holding a black umbrella, he was walking toward the door.

Xie Zhinan felt a jolt of panic. It seemed like Wen Yun had noticed his gaze. His dark eyes turned toward him.

Was he looking at him?

Xie Zhinan hesitated, thinking Wen Yun probably wouldn’t pay attention to him. He lingered for a couple of seconds, staring, and Wen Yun didn’t look away. Xie Zhinan felt his entire being locked in by those long, beautiful eyes.

His heart pounded wildly, and a sudden urge to escape arose, as though he was jolted awake. He didn’t care that the rain would drench him. Before Wen Yun could get closer, Xie Zhinan rushed into the downpour, letting the heavy raindrops strike him.

The sky was dim, and the rain was heavy. Xie Zhinan’s figure quickly disappeared into the pouring rain.

It was just like the night they separated many years ago.

Wen Yun watched his departing back, his fingers tightly gripping the umbrella handle, turning white at the joints.

….

Xie Zhinan’s home was a bit far from the company, but the rent was cheap. It was 30 square meters, with the living room doubling as a bedroom, a small kitchen, a bathroom, and a little balcony. Despite its small size, it had everything one might need, and it was enough for one person to live in.

During rush hour, the subway was crowded. Xie Zhinan was drenched and, not wanting to inconvenience others, he went to the convenience store at the subway station and bought some tissue paper to wipe off the water from his clothes.

But when he got home, he was still soaked, looking like a drowned rat, his whole appearance disheveled.

But it was okay; at least he was home.

As long as he was home, in a safe place, he could take off all his disguises, and all the fatigue could be healed.

“Meow.” As soon as he opened the door, Caramel, his cat, came up with its tail held high.

Caramel was a cat he had found. He didn’t know what breed it was, but its fur was a light caramel color, with a milk-white belly and paws. It had an orange cat pattern on its back, its fur fluffy, with a round face and round eyes.

Xie Zhinan had found it when he first started working. It was a rainy day, and Caramel was huddled under a bush in the community park, trembling in the rain, looking pitiful.

At that time, he had just arrived in City A, all alone. Finding the kitten felt like fate, so he took it to the vet. After a check-up confirmed there were no issues, he took the little cat home.

Every time he came back, Caramel would rub against his legs. But today since Xie Zhinan had been caught in the rain, the cuffs of his pants were soaking wet, so Caramel could only sit in front of him, looking up with its round eyes, meowing sweetly.

Xie Zhinan’s suppressed mood lightened a little. He bent down and lightly tapped Caramel’s head with his cold fingers, saying, “Caramel, are you hungry?”

“Meow~” Caramel called out obediently when it heard its name.

Xie Zhinan smiled and whispered, “Daddy will change and open a can for you. Wait here.”

Caramel’s food was stored in the kitchen. Usually, it would patiently sit by its food bowl waiting for meals, but that day it was particularly clingy. Wherever Xie Zhinan went, it followed.

Xie Zhinan dried off his body, changed his clothes, and was tiptoeing to get a can from the cupboard when he heard Caramel meowing by his feet.

He looked down and saw Caramel staring up at him.

“What’s wrong, Caramel?”

Caramel stared at him for a few seconds, hesitated for a moment, then nudged Xie Zhinan’s cold ankle with its head, as if offering comfort.

It’s said that cats can sense their owner’s emotions.

Xie Zhinan stared at it for a long time as well. The calm facade he had been forcing finally cracked slightly, the corners of his mouth tightening, and the light in his eyes dimming.

“Caramel.” Xie Zhinan crouched down, meeting Caramel’s gaze. His lashes lowered as he spoke in a soft, almost inaudible voice.

“Can people really have such bad memories?”

 

¹

[Author’s Note]

Damn it, I want to steal Xie Zhinan’s cat!!!

 

• 1
  
  
  [Author’s Note]
  
  Damn it, I want to steal Xie Zhinan’s cat!!!