Chapter 23 – Tangled Heart
Novel Title: 谁把谁当真 (Winner Takes All)
Author：水千丞 (ShuiQianCheng)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 黎朔 (Li Shuo -MC), 赵锦辛 (Zhao Jinxin -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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When Li Shuo heard the words Shao Qun’, he was stunned for a moment. He thought the sound from the microphone was distorted, or he had misheard. How could he hear this name, completely unrelated to the current situation, at a birthday party for his father’s friend on the other side of the world?
However, in the next second, he saw Zhao Jinxin’s expression change abruptly before he could hide it. His mind went blank.
Shao Qun… Shao Qun?
Shao Qun was Mrs. Zhao’s… nephew?
Was it the same Shao Qun? Could it be someone with the same name? But… could there be such a coincidence?
Li Shuo felt his vision blur, his head buzzing. The people, objects, and space around him seemed distorted. He heard external sounds as if through a wall, striking outside his eardrums. He felt a hand grab his arm and he instinctively shook it off.
In an instant, Li Shuo regained clarity. He stared directly at Zhao Jinxin, unable to utter a single question. Zhao Jinxin’s unprecedented expression had already explained everything.
This person… the young man he had no doubt loved, was the cousin of the person he despised most?!
What did all this mean? What did everything between him and Zhao Jinxin mean? Their meeting, their time together, their…- what the hell did it all mean?
Zhao Jinxin had investigated him and heard him mention Shao Qun’s name multiple times on the phone. He couldn’t have known nothing. So these cousins had been playing him from the beginning to the end…
From beginning to end.
It felt as if his heart had been punched hard. The dull pain and ensuing humiliation drained all colour from Li Shuo’s face.
How could this be? How the fuck could this happen!
“Li…-” Zhao Jinxin stiffly raised his hand, wanting to steady Li Shuo’s swaying body. He hadn’t expected things to be exposed like this. He didn’t want it to be this way…
“Xiao Shuo, what’s wrong?” Mrs. Li came over and grabbed his arm. “Oh my, why do you look so unwell? You can’t be tired from just dancing. Look at your father and me, we’re not tired.”
Li Shuo covered his mother’s hand with his own, smiling slightly, “Mom, I’m fine. The alcohol’s just gone to my head a bit.”
“Oh, then go outside for some fresh air. You’ll feel better after clearing your head.”
Zhao Jinxin said in a deep voice, “I’ll take Li Da Ge outside.”
Li Shuo looked deeply at Zhao Jinxin. It was amazing how in just two minutes, he felt that this person he had once been intimately close with had become a stranger. A stranger who is so repulsive to him. He put his hands in his pockets, secretly clenching them, using the pain of his nails digging into his palms to clear his head. He straightened his back, politely nodding and smiling at the people around him: “I’ll go outside to sober up.” Then he strode towards the door.
Zhao Jinxin gritted his teeth and followed closely behind.
The two walked out of the banquet hall. Turning slightly right, they reached an open terrace. Li Shuo walked onto the terrace, looking at the city’s starry sky. He was momentarily dazed.
“Li Shuo…” Zhao Jinxin called softly.
Li Shuo, with his back to Zhao Jinxin, calmly said, “Shao Qun is your cousin.”
Zhao Jinxin took a deep breath: “Yes.”
“He sent you to approach me.”
“Yes.”
“Because of Li Chengxiu.”
“…Yes.”
Li Shuo suddenly turned around. His face was contorted. All his usual gentleness was gone. He swung his fist towards Zhao Jinxin.
Zhao Jinxin didn’t dodge, didn’t even blink.
Li Shuo’s fist brushed past Zhao Jinxin’s cheek and hit the wall behind him with a strong force.
A flicker of sadness passed through Zhao Jinxin’s eyes. His eyebrows furrowed.
Li Shuo looked at Zhao Jinxin’s face – the face that liked to act coy and call him Li Shushu, yet could be so animalistic in bed. This was the face that appeared in his sweet dreams, making him smile whenever he thought of it. This was the face of the person he liked so much his heart could almost fly.
He couldn’t bring himself to hit him.
He had never liked violence, so how could he use it on someone he cared for? He could only glare at him with bloodshot eyes, gritting his teeth as he said, “How dare you play me like this!”
But if this was all a setup from the beginning, then his feelings for Zhao Jinxin were just an illusion, right? After all, that free-spirited, cute, cheeky Zhao Jinxin with all his different facets could all have been an act. The thought made Li Shuo shudder.
Zhao Jinxin grabbed his wrist, looking at the blood seeping from his knuckles: “Let me treat that for you.”
Li Shuo pulled his hand back. He truly experienced what it meant to have a ‘tangled heart’.
Zhao Jinxin lowered his head. He was like a student reflecting on his mistakes: “At first, I approached you because of my Ge. But I really do like you.” He forced a smile, “Li Shushu, can we talk?”
“I don’t want to see you right now.” Li Shuo truly didn’t have the courage to look at Zhao Jinxin again. Thinking about everything that had happened in the past three months, he wondered if he had been under some kind of spell. Being infatuated with a man 11 years younger than him was one thing. But the other person had been playing him from beginning to end!
He really wanted to know what kind of mocking attitude Zhao Jinxin had while he watched him being manipulated step by step. How stupid, how ridiculous must he have been? Just minutes ago, he thought he might have found true love. And then reality slapped him hard across the face. The shame and anger of being deceived and played with were about to explode from his chest!
Shao Qun, it’s Shao Qun again. How could you come up with such a way to fool me…
Li Shuo realised he needed to find a place to calm down, otherwise he might do something severely against his principles. He pushed Zhao Jinxin away and strode towards the hotel exit.
Zhao Jinxin took a few steps to follow but then stopped. He watched Li Shuo’s back until it disappeared. He then kicked over a trash can in frustration.
Li Shuo sent a text to his father saying he wasn’t feeling well and was heading home first. He took a taxi back.
Even after returning to his room and lying in the dark on his bed, Li Shuo felt his brain was still overheating. His anger and sadness hadn’t diminished one bit. Instead, as his thoughts scattered, they became even harder to control. He felt like a beggar whose beautiful dream had been shattered, resenting the person who disturbed his dream, and even more so the person who made him dream.
He wasn’t one to become hysterical over relationships. He could tolerate betrayal – if the other person fell in love with someone else, maybe he hadn’t done well enough. He could also accept rejection – after all, he wasn’t perfect, so how could everyone like him? But he couldn’t accept being thoroughly fooled, because that started with malicious intent from the beginning.
And he had swallowed that malicious deception like a sweet dessert, only to find in his stomach that it was shards of glass, already cutting through his insides, leaving him bleeding endlessly.
At this point, he couldn’t tell which was more painful – the heartbreak or the humiliation.
Zhao Jinxin, the person who had given him endless surprises and joy, who had ignited his passion and vitality, was just playing with him. He had fallen headfirst into this trap. He is bruised and battered. While Shao Qun stood above, surely mocking and despising him.
Li Shuo clutched the blanket tightly, letting out an angry growl in the darkness.
Shao Qun, Zhao Jinxin, you’ve gone too far…
Li Shuo fell asleep at some point. When he woke up, it was already bright outside. He sat up holding his head, with a splitting headache. It took him a full five minutes to recover before he got out of bed and went to the bathroom.
The mirror reflected a face of dejection and fatigue. His casual suit was wrinkled beyond recognition. He looked terrible, absolutely terrible.
Li Shuo mechanically took off his clothes and turned on the shower. The cold water poured down without warning, chilling him to the bone. He couldn’t help but curse, then slapped the tiles hard several times with his palm until his wrist felt like it was about to shatter. Only then did he stop as he trembled.
He took a shower in the icy water. Only then did he feel he had calmed down.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had lost control like this. Losing rationality was a very unpleasant experience and could lead to very bad consequences. He was grateful that he hadn’t lost his composure too much in front of Zhao Jinxin yesterday. Being played for a fool was humiliating enough. If he couldn’t even maintain a nonchalant attitude, his 34 years of life would have been in vain.
Yes, Zhao Jinxin had played him. That was a fact. Dwelling on why he had been so foolish was pointless. He should stand tall and help himself get through this emotional hurdle.
This difficulty was that he had fallen for Zhao Jinxin. This was really troublesome. Li Shuo smiled bitterly and rubbed his hair.
Fortunately, they hadn’t known each other long, nor had they developed any profound feelings. Liking someone, when the feelings are intense, it’s as if life and death are at stake. But once that intensity passes, it’s gone. He liked Zhao Jinxin. But he could also stop liking him. Given some time, what can’t fade away? Those sweet moments that once made his heart race and left him with endless memories would surely be buried deep in his memory, becoming meaningless.
Li Shuo comforted himself this way, trying to piece together his shattered self-esteem.
His phone beeped. Li Shuo picked it up and saw several text messages, almost all from Zhao Jinxin.
Zhao Jinxin: Li Shushu, can we talk?
Zhao Jinxin: Li Shushu, are you still mad at me? I never lied to you.
Zhao Jinxin: Li Shuo, I really want to have a proper talk with you.
Li Shuo tossed the phone aside. He could even picture Zhao Jinxin’s expression when sending these messages. At first, he was acting coquettishly, trying to downplay the impact of the matter on both of them. He then gradually realising he needed a proper attitude to face it. Thinking back carefully, Zhao Jinxin approached him with an agenda from the start. So the flirty, wanton Zhao Jinxin at their first meeting and the later Zhao Jinxin were really different. He had always been adjusting his strategy to deal with Li Shuo based on his reactions.
Zhao Jinxin, with what deep-seated schemes had you been engaging to form a romantic relationship with me?! It was truly chilling.
They had to talk, of course. His contract hadn’t been signed yet. When he returned to Beijing, there were a series of subsequent collaborations to discuss.
As for Zhao Jinxin, someone who dared to deceive him like this, Li Shuo had already made a verdict in his heart.
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*Translator’s Note: Wife-chasing crematorium part 1 begins! -K
*GLOSSARY:
- ‘Tangled heart’ is an expression that means a complex and intense emotional situation. It could refer to any situation where love and affection are intertwined with challenges or confusion.
*Proofread by 2024.07.31* I’m currently in the middle of the proofreading stage of my first ever translation; ‘Winner Takes All’. Lots of changes will be made especially to titles such as ‘Brother’ will be changed to ‘Ge’ and ‘Uncle’ will be changed to ‘Shushu’. I will proofread these chapters slowly when I’m free so please understand if there are any delays or discrepancies. TQ.
Proofread version of the rest of the novel will only be available on Novels Space.space while Mature Chapters will be released on Wattpad.
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