WKTH Fragment 8

The first time this dreaded power was activated was when the Demon King’s army attacked and conquered this castle, and the Demon King himself broke the barrier and came to the temple. After taking Alexia’s life before my very eyes, he killed me. I remember being struck by the shock of Alexia’s death more than my own impending death. The next time I woke up, I was back in the world ten years ago. I held young Alexia in my arms and cried. She didn’t understand what had happened and looked bewildered, but she gently hugged me back with her small hands. I vowed never to let this child die again.

I understood what had happened to me. When I inherited the role of the shrine maiden from my mother, I also inherited the records of the previous shrine maidens along with their power. “World Compilation” is a powerful ability given by God to the shrine maiden’s clan to keep them alive and counter the Demon King. Shrine maidens don’t die from aging, but only when they die from other causes does the ability activate. This power has been used not only in battles against the Demon King, but also in various situations. Examples include rebellions by vassals, betrayal by the king who was her spouse, and assassinations. However, none of these incidents required “World Compilation” to be used repeatedly. Only in battles against the Demon King did it have to be used over and over again.

The first thing I did with “World Compilation” was to form a coalition army to counter the Demon King’s army. I thought that moving the country as a whole would be more effective in defeating the Demon King than relying on individuals like the hero. I persuaded my husband, the king, and persuaded the surrounding countries to prepare for the Demon King’s army early on. Since I knew the invasion route and attack patterns from my first experience, I was able to prepare for battle perfectly. Thanks to this, the coalition army fought valiantly and successfully repelled the Demon King’s army. However, no matter how many times they repelled them, the Demon King’s army immediately attacked again. By bringing active demons under his control, he reinforced his forces and continued to attack without interruption. Eventually, the coalition army became exhausted, the frontline country fell, and the coalition army quickly collapsed, and I experienced my second death.

In the second “World Compilation”, I considered going on the offensive with the coalition army. I realized that defending alone would not work, and that it was necessary to strike at the enemy’s base. However, this did not work politically. A huge budget was needed to mount an expedition to the distant Demon King’s land. Even if they won, there were almost no territorial or monetary benefits. Moreover, the Demon King’s army was not yet a direct threat. The expedition plan was abandoned, and eventually they allowed the invasion of the Demon King’s army.

Upon seeing the demon army invade the kingdom, I felt sick to my stomach. Ultimately, for the third time and beyond, we decided to follow tradition and search for a hero. If the country wouldn’t act, then there was no other choice but to send a small group of elite warriors to defeat the demon king. Fortunately, there were many talented young people, such as the sword saint Leon, the saint Maria, and the sage Solon, whom we had high hopes for. In particular, Leon was an excellent candidate, with a noble upbringing and great skill. However, when we actually sent him to the demon king’s territory, he couldn’t adapt to the adventurer-like journey due to his high status, and he couldn’t cope with the sneak attacks from the demons — being betrayed by the humans who were supposed to protect him, and so on. In the end, he died about three months after beginning his journey.

The next candidate was Maria. There was some hesitation in making a priestess the hero, but she had a bad personality in a good way, and was skilled at controlling people’s hearts. Maria progressed smoothly, as expected. She made good use of her companions and not only dealt with the demons’ attacks, but even outsmarted them. However, her party could not truly believe in each other, and gradually began to show cracks. Then, when they faced a powerful demon, the party fell apart, and she died about a year later.

The third candidate was Solon. He had a difficult personality, and we thought his chances of success were lower compared to Leon and Maria, but he excelled in magic and intelligence. When I gave him information I had gathered from my past experiences, he used it to his full advantage, infiltrating deep into the demon king’s territory and even confronting the demon king himself. However, the gap in power between him and the demon king was overwhelming, and he eventually died in despair.

After that, I tried guiding different people, trying to get better results. I once had Leon, Maria, and Solon in the same party, but they just bickered with each other, and the results were not good. Through these trial and error attempts, my mind gradually began to wear down. I stopped caring about people’s deaths, and began to accept my own death easily. “Anyway, I can just start over.”

When it didn’t work out with people from the capital, I started looking at talent from the countryside, and that’s when I noticed Ares. He was not only skilled in swordsmanship, but also in magic, had a good head on his shoulders, and had a flexible mentality. His abilities weren’t that high, but he was a well-balanced boy. However, he died on his way to the capital, too early. “Another wasted effort.” I immediately thought about dying, but for some reason, I became interested in the boy who was traveling with Ares. The talentless and powerless boy named Zach. He impersonated Ares and entered the Phalum Academy, working hard to become a hero. I saw myself in his perseverance, no matter how little he achieved, and no matter how much effort went to waste. And then, before I knew it, he became a hero. He was weaker than any other hero, and a disheveled, muddy mess of a hero.

Zach teamed up with Leon, Maria, and Solon, and managed to harmonize them together. He didn’t try to use them well, but tried to bring out the best in them.
I also gave Zack information I knew whenever I could, and he overcame numerous difficulties and trials. “Maybe Zack can defeat the Demon King?” My expectations of him grew stronger. However, at the same time, a conflict arose within me. It was about Ares. Zack was fighting for Ares, dedicating himself to become Ares’ replacement. I knew that painfully well. But if he defeated the Demon King like this, the world would continue to move on with Ares still dead. After much hesitation, I talked to Zack when he was just one step away from the Demon King’s castle. “If you could go back to the world where Ares is still alive, what would you do?” Zack’s eyes widened. “Go back? Not come back to life?” “You won’t come back to life. You’ll just go back before you die and try again.” “What about memories?” “They won’t remain. Only I will remember. But I can guide Ares to not die.” Zack looked at me for a while and then said, “What about the Demon King? We’re almost there, but can we make it back here again?” “…I don’t know,” I honestly replied. It seemed like a miracle that we had made it this far, and I had no confidence that we could reproduce it again. “Well, then, it’s okay.”
「Huh?」

“It must be hard to start over again, right? Even if someone told me, ‘you can start your life over again,’ I don’t think I could do it. I don’t want to go through all that hardship again,” he said, laughing.

“But if we continue like this, what about Ares?”

“I’m sorry about Ares, and of course, I would want him to come back to life if that were possible, but if it means everything we went through until now would be for nothing, then I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s not just me; everyone’s effort would be in vain. That’s why I’m going to keep moving forward.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, this is the choice I made. I am the one who abandoned Ares. I killed him. So, you don’t have to look so sad.”

Face?

Due to the power of the priestess, my appearance projected from the temple to the Demon Lord’s realm is just an illusion, and there should be no way to distinguish between young and old, male and female. There is no way to read expressions. I am just an existence that can only watch from the temple and cannot do anything.

“You can’t possibly understand me.”

“I somehow do. Maybe it’s the atmosphere? I had a feeling you were a little like Shera-san. I thought you were a kind, motherly person.”

Shera…that’s Ares’ mother. She must not have been pleased with her son becoming a hero. Of course not. Even I wouldn’t want to send my own daughter on such a harsh and dangerous journey. No parent would want to send their child into such peril. But I am imposing it on someone else’s child.

“I…am not kind.”

“Are you sure about that? I don’t think so. The prophet’s purpose is to defeat the Demon Lord, right? But you’re proposing to start over again when you’re just one step away from achieving that. You couldn’t do that if you weren’t kind.”

“…………”
“But you know, if I died without being able to defeat the Demon King, and I had to start over again, I’d like to be guided to learn magic before setting out on the journey. I’m not very good at it, so it would be difficult to teach me, but please help me. Then, I think I can travel with Ares as his companion without letting him die this time.” Zack said, as if it were a joke, expressing his regrets and true wishes, then he left.

Afterward, Zack and his companions fought a fierce battle and defeated the Demon King, and my thousand-year journey came to an end. Finally, I was liberated from the long cycle of reincarnation and shook with joy. Finally, I could meet my end as a human.

However, that joy disappeared the moment I opened my eyes from my sleep. “The dead can never return.” It wasn’t just about Ares. Many people had died because of my choices. In the beginning, during the “World Compilation,” I had worked hard to save as many people as possible, but over time, I had become neglectful of that effort, thinking “It’s useless anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

But this time, we succeeded in defeating the Demon King. We could have saved even more people. Afterwards, I blamed myself continuously. I wished for my life to end quickly, with only that in my heart.

After a few years, Alexia appeared before me. She had entered the sanctuary by force after a long argument with the temple guards. Apparently, she had come here to ask about Zack’s whereabouts, instigated by Solon.

(What a foolish daughter.) She had entered the sanctuary out of mere curiosity without even properly understanding my suffering or Zack’s feelings. A blackness rose in my heart. After telling Alexia everything, I offered her the poisoned wine that I had been using to prepare for my own suicide.

“If you are also a member of the priestess clan, show me your determination. If you can overcome the fear of death, I will tell you Zack’s whereabouts.” It was just a threat. I thought the spoiled girl would just go home.

However, Alexia…
After answering “understood, mother” to the priestess, she drank the poison and died while leaving a gentle smile while looking at me. In the face of Alexia’s death, I remembered why I had been “world building.” Wasn’t it to save this child and cross over death many times for her sake? This child had come here with her own determination. I had used that as an outlet for my pent-up emotions. I pierced my own throat with a dagger, collapsed onto Alexia’s body, and returned to the world one hour ago. I instructed the priestesses to let Alexia in, and waited for the second visit from my daughter. After the sound of the door closing, I opened my eyes and confirmed that Alexia had left. Silence returned to the sanctuary. “Thank you, Alexia. My beloved daughter.” It was a lonely journey where no matter what I did or what I tried, people kept dying due to my guidance and my choices, with no reward or gratitude, and I thought of it as a cursed role. “But deep down, I wanted to tell someone…” My legs had lost their strength, and I leaned against the altar while tears of joy and sorrow mixed and flowed. “I will never meet that child again…” It was the only atonement I could give myself.