Translator: Lynn
Humans tend to have a peculiar habit – when persuading others, they can always be rational, articulate, and speak confidently.
But when it comes to our own situations, we often find ourselves trapped in the cycle of “Hindsight is 20/20.”
…
After leaving the hospital that day, Ji Kai took the bus back to City S by himself, gazing out the window all the way.
The bus navigated through the winding roads among the mountains and forests. Late summer should have blanketed the mountains in green, but this year, autumn’s chill had arrived early, and the forests were quietly adorned with light reds and deep yellows, a colorful tapestry resembling an oil painting.
Ji Kai stared out the window, reminiscing about the winter in the second year of his marriage.
Zhu Ling was filming in a northern city, and it was confirmed that he wouldn’t make it home for the New Year. However, the shooting schedule ended earlier than expected, so, in a last-minute attempt, Zhu Ling bought a long-distance bus ticket for a grueling 12-hour journey to make it home for the Lunar New Year.
Ji Kai felt for him but couldn’t deny his determination. On New Year’s Eve, he drove to the S City Passenger Terminal to pick up Zhu Ling, expecting his beloved to be weary and worn after a long journey.
Yet, to his surprise, Zhu Ling was full of life upon arrival.
His eyes sparkled like stars, and his appearance was as handsome as ever, with snowflakes melting on his fur collar, glistening like diamonds.
…
[Baby Bear, you wouldn’t believe it, I spent the entire night and day on the bus, and I witnessed some incredible sights!]
[I saw the sky covered in heavy snow, like feathers from a giant bird. For hours on end, it wasn’t dark, even at one or two in the morning. The world was bathed in a soft pink glow, reflecting off the pristine snow.]
[On the roadside, bare trees held persimmons, creating a scene of northern nostalgia. These trees had no leaves, but they exuded a unique charm – as the journey continued, the snow gradually receded. By the time we reached the Huaihe River, and then south of the Yangtze River, the snow had entirely disappeared, and even some trees had fresh green shoots.]
[I was so elated at the time that I couldn’t contain myself!]
[I thought that with each green shoot, I was getting closer to my baby bear. When we arrive in S City, spring will be in full bloom! But, hahaha, it’s quite cold in S City today, and you came to pick me up and even brought me a coat. It’s so warm, and being alive is wonderful! I’m so happy!]
Throughout the journey home, Zhu Ling held onto Ji Kai’s wrist while driving, as excited as a teenager.
When asked if he was tired, he responded with a resounding “no.” It was as if he was on a spring outing from his childhood, full of anticipation. The journey wasn’t an exhausting one, but rather a sweet longing filled with twelve hours of missing.
[And in the end, I saw you, didn’t I?]
[Brother Kai, Baby Bear, I’m back to celebrate the New Year with you.]
[I’ve missed you so much.]
…
Every detail of that day remained etched in Ji Kai’s memory – Zhu Ling’s voice, his smile, his breath, and the subtle scent of cologne on his skin. He even remembered how sitting beside him, he listened quietly to Zhu Ling’s enthusiastic descriptions, and his heart was brimming with tenderness and nostalgia.
For life.
In that moment, there was no doubt, no hesitation.
Zhu Ling, you and I, together. It used to be as beautiful as a dream.
If you’ve truly found your true love after marriage, just tell me to let go.
I’ll be heartbroken, but I’ll genuinely wish you all the happiness. Everyone has the freedom to choose what makes them happy. However, there should never be avarice for boundless love while craving the warmth of home.
If you’re greedy and unsatisfied, you may end up facing divine retribution.
He retrieved the remaining half of the torn paper from his chest. The handwriting was scrawled, and some parts were illegible. Yet, it didn’t really matter, for there was a single word clearly written in bold letters on the back of the paper.
Scumbag. Ji Kai had never imagined that he would one day use this word to describe Zhu Ling.
To describe the young man who had shone as brilliantly as the sun, who loved music, who was determined, and whose eyes were filled with dreams.
…
Remove the key from its place, insert it into the lock, and turn it to unlock the door.
However, he didn’t return home for two nights, casting the entire house into an unusually quiet and unfamiliar atmosphere.
It seemed as if it foresaw a conclusion, an end-of-life scenario, where everything that represented warmth—the cozy little round stools, the soft glow of the small orange wall lamps, and the large, inviting cushions—all lay still in the cold, feigning lifelessness.
Little Yan was currently at his “godfathers'” house, most likely just finishing lunch. The child was so full of energy that he rarely needed a nap. Ji Kai hadn’t seen him for a few days, and the yearning had built up.
But Ji Kai couldn’t go pick him up.
He couldn’t let the child know he was back.
His gaze passed over the tidy windowsill, beyond the frosted glass bookshelf, and settled on the combined desk where the computer and printer were stationed.
Open the drawer.
Inside lay an old mobile phone, quietly resting. It was dark and mysterious, almost like Pandora’s box.
Half a month ago, on August 10th, it was their wedding anniversary.
As per their tradition, Ji Kai would usually prepare an elaborate feast in advance, plan surprises and thoughtful gifts for about a week, and celebrate the special day in style.
But this year, troublesome events cropped up before the anniversary—there was a visit from the little goblin, Zhu Ling’s mother had an appendectomy, and Li Weidu paid a visit. Ji Kai was overwhelmed and had no time to think about the final gift. In haste, he bought a new mobile phone for Zhu Ling.
Zhu Ling was a tech enthusiast, so he was pleased with the new gadget. After replacing the old one, it ended up in this drawer, forgotten.
…
Ji Kai had never looked through Zhu Ling’s phone.
It’s somewhat embarrassing to admit, but this had nothing to do with high-minded principles like “respecting a partner’s privacy.”
It was sgoblinly because Ji Kai was 100% confident in his own charm. He believed that, with his great looks, strong presence, and incredible physique, he had no competition. For three whole years, Zhu Ling had remained unfazed by all the allure that surrounded him.
However, Zhu Ling took a different approach and lured away a certain someone with a hint of mischief.
The replacement was a petite, pretty boy. But really, how could you, Little White Moonlight, compare to me? It was laughable!
…
Charge the phone and wait patiently.
After a few minutes, the old phone powered up.
Ji Kai had never looked through Zhu Ling’s phone, but he had the right to check it anytime he wanted—his fingerprint and all the passwords were at his disposal. Zhu Ling had said, “You can check anytime, Baby Bear.” Initially, Ji Kai had never considered exercising this right. But now, fate had played a trick on him.
Wasn’t it just the other day that Zhu Ling had sworn to stop with the “thank you” wordplay? Had he come back to continue the silliness?
Ji Kai wondered if he was unwell.
They had reached this point, and a glimmer of hope hadn’t been entirely extinguished.
What if it was all just a misunderstanding?
What if Ye Yin was a super fan of Lei Nanyu and had earnestly asked Zhu Ling for a portrait, and Zhu Ling had reluctantly agreed as a favor?
Well, that’s a stretch. Might as well enroll in screenwriting classes.
…
He opened the messaging app and scanned through it. He couldn’t locate the annoying little rabbit profile picture. Furrowing his brow, he realized the Bunny Boy had been added to the blacklist.
Why was he dragged into the dark abyss and left there?!
He freed the little white rabbit from the blacklist, and there it was, a plethora of chat records.
In just three months, they’d amassed over 700 pages. Ji Kai recalled the lively text messages and chats they’d had, just like five years ago when they’d fallen in love.
…
Zhu Ling, the man with a gentle smile and a gentlemanly demeanor, was the epitome of a “freewheeler,” savoring the sweetness and romance of love.
Though he enjoyed the experience, he wasn’t the type to be completely reckless and eat whatever came his way.
As a result, there were no inappropriate pictures or conversations in their chat history.
Instead, the screen was filled with playful banter and sweet teasing—Zhu Ling, who always wagged his tail and extended his paws in front of Ji Kai, dutifully played the role of an affectionate CEO Male Lead in front of Ye Yan, a role he had mastered with expertise, adhering to all the expectations and scenarios of “the bossy president falling in love with me.”
Daily flirtations, flower deliveries, gifts, car rides, surprises, affectionate greetings, and firm “no this, no that”.
Not to mention that, apart from Ji Kai’s smoking habit, Zhu Ling didn’t dare to take issue with anything else.
Is this luck or misfortune compared to the little goblin?
After flipping through a few pages, Zhu Ling sent the little fairy the lyrics of a song, “Starlight in the Palm of my Hand”—an awkward move. Same lyrics, same copy-and-paste technique. Zhu Ling, is this the best you can do?
The little goblin, on the other hand, was rather naive. He actually believed the person who claimed to have written the lyrics just for him and replied with an abundance of flowers, stars, and touching words. He was the typical fool who got scammed and had to send someone money!
Didn’t you even read the damn lyrics carefully?
“Three years ago, that summer night,” three years ago! Were you even there at that time? According to your online records, you were in Country S, getting your pretty face done. Right?
Ji Kai deeply regretted looking at all this. It wasn’t enough to taint “Baby Bear.” Now the memories of their honeymoon summer night had to be ruined? Zhu Ling, you’re in trouble!
Three years ago, at the Nepal border, beneath the Himalayas, the air was clean and unpolluted, and the night sky was filled with bright, vibrant colors. The two of them lay in a tent on a summer night, gazing at the stars.
Zhu Ling extended his hand and said, “Brother Kai, look, the stars are reflected on the palm of my hand.”
…
In that hospital ward that night, Ji Kai, driven by empathy, helped Li Weidu soothe his stomach. Zhu Ling was fuming with anger. He seized Ji Kai and asked with a face full of hurt, “How can you treat others the way you’ve hurt me? It’s like the irony of the state officials setting fires while the common people can’t even light a lamp—a massive irony, almost like a black hole. Satire.”
What’s even more ironic are his uncontrollable fingers. This must be because Li Weidu was dealing with obsessive-compulsive disorder. When most people accidentally uncover a corpse, legend has it, they’ll quickly bury it and plant flowers. Why was he so eager to continue digging, as if he were trying to unearth a mass grave for tens of thousands of people?
Well, he actually found it.
As Ji Kai followed the chat history, he stumbled upon the closet. Under an unused, expensive black top hat lay a slim invoice.
It was for LU’s high-end jewelry private customizations, and the diamond ring was engraved with the words “Y. forever.”
The billing date was last month, and the delivery date was next month.
Both initials were ‘Y.’ Ji Kai also had a ring, but his was platinum. After all, in a same-sex marriage, there was no reason for a diamond ring. So, congratulations to the little goblin for having something unique that wasn’t in Ji Kai’s style and for embarking on new adventures with Zhu Ling!
In his pocket, a broken phone with a shattered screen rang at the perfect moment.
Zhu Ling’s call came as expected, and the timing was so precise that it felt almost telepathic.
Ji Kai realized that anyone could become an actor under certain circumstances. The voice that responded was remarkably composed, devoid of any inquiries or hysteria.
“Brother Kai, didn’t you say you were coming to see me yesterday?”
“…” Ji Kai had completely forgotten about it!
“It’s okay, Brother Kai, it’s okay! I meant to say you don’t need to come over.”
“…”
“See, the terrain in C City is quite low, and the highway is flooded, so it’s not safe. You happened to be at home, so spend more time with me. Keep Xiaoyan company. Don’t let our son be taken in by the neighbors upstairs. Anyway, I’ll be home the day after tomorrow. I miss you so much. Will you wait for me at home?” The voice was as sweet and gentle as ever, beautifully balanced.
Ji Kai could picture the little goblin nestling up to Zhu Ling, probably as soft as jelly at this moment. If he were still as arrogant as before, insisting on going to the lesson without any hint, he’d probably be quite embarrassed.
“Baby Bear, what’s wrong? Why are you so quiet?”
Ji Kai wanted to respond. He truly wanted to play along with Zhu Ling’s act wholeheartedly, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t say “I miss you too.”
“When you come back, Zhu Ling, I have something to tell you.”
“What’s going on, Brother Kai?”
“It’s alright; we’ll talk when you get back.”
The other person laughed softly, his voice a bit weak. “Baby Bear, why are you suddenly so serious? Don’t scare me!”
Ji Kai smiled as well; he wasn’t trying to scare anyone.
That day, he used the watermelon knife on the table to startle Zhu Ling, brandishing it and warning him not to go to the little goblin. This time… he wanted to scare him, but he just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm.
In this world, the reason people engage in fierce arguments, shout and cry, make definitive statements without room for compromise, and blame and berate each other is likely because they still hold hope in their hearts.
They still desire to argue about who’s right and who’s wrong, to make the other party acknowledge their efforts and sympathize with their struggles.
But now he would never take those chances again.
‘The moment I truly left, there was no storm. The door closed silently.’
…
…
“Divorce? Why would you want a divorce? Why don’t you just pack up Zhu Ling and send him to the little troublemaker outside? Hold on! If the enemy doesn’t move, I won’t move. If the enemy moves, I won’t move! Let’s drain them, make them suffer, and explode!”
This conversation took place at a gay barbecue restaurant in a private room filled with beer and skewers. A large group of people at the table looked at surgeon Li Mingxin as if he had gone mad.
“What are you staring at? Did I say something wrong? Why should Ji Kai be so righteous and send someone to the top? If you ask me, drag them down! Drag them to the ground!” Li Mingxin exclaimed, and everyone at the table was baffled.
The shop owner, Jian, served roasted lamb loin and chimed in, “Brother Kai, you want us to take down 800 enemies and hurt ourselves a thousand times?”
“Life for life! It’s worth it! If it were me, I couldn’t stand this life! I’d just stick with you for the rest of my life. These two guys are fighting to the death! Let the wild mandarin ducks never find peace!”
The people at the table fell silent, offering their condolences to the little sunflower painter.
“Li Mingxin, I heard you pursued Nanyu for twenty years. Is it true that if you couldn’t win her, you were ready to fight for a lifetime?” Someone asked, genuinely curious.
Li Mingxin adjusted his glasses and replied, “Nonsense, what else?”
“That’s crazy!”
“Li Mingxin, you’re one of those people… You took a detour and hit a wall. Don’t try to lead our brother Kai astray again! What’s the point of fighting with a scumbag? Brother Kai, you need to adjust your attitude. Don’t waste your precious time on this guy. You deserve someone better!”
Dr. Li rolled his eyes, took a big gulp of beer, and said, “I’m just so frustrated… Hey, you over there, Gargant, you know your way around marriage law, right?”
Across the table, a hefty figure was sipping mutton soup. It was Lawyer Zuo Yan, who, despite his appearance, was a partner at a prestigious divorce law firm in S city.
“Collect evidence and agree to a divorce as soon as possible,” Zuo Yan stated concisely, getting straight to the point. “He’s a public figure with a secret marriage. He definitely doesn’t want this to become public. The situation is very much in your favor. Just ask him to clean up and settle the marriage.”
“Kick him out! Yeah, tell him to get out! Don’t let the little troublemaker take advantage!” The table erupted with cheers and support.
Ji Kai covered one ear and leaned towards Lawyer Zuo, saying, “Zuo Yan, what I really want to ask you is…”
Zuo Yan interrupted, “In principle, you can get a divorce first, and property can be divided after the divorce. But it’s better to settle everything before the divorce, to avoid long and drawn-out disputes where he could turn his back on you in the future.”
“No…”
“If you want me to represent you in a lawsuit, that’s not impossible. But, first, my fees are quite high. I can give you a discount, but I can’t do it for free. We all need to make a living, and I hope you understand that. Second, your reputation can’t be tarnished for him. If we join forces, we must go all out to take down Zhu Ling. All the chat records, rings, and evidence you mentioned need to be given to me and presented in court on time. We should also apply for the transfer of property records to ensure he ends up bankrupt and ruined.”
“But, Brother Kai, that little white-eyed wolf was bought by you when you sold your house, car, and did household chores. You went to great lengths to secure him. Don’t hesitate now; destroy him with your own hands. Don’t be soft-hearted later,” Lawyer Zuo stated.
Ji Kai, with a hint of embarrassment, admitted, “Actually, I want to ask… It’s about Xiaoyan!”
“If you want to fight for custody of the child, it’s not possible,” Lawyer Zuo mentioned. “You both went through the adoption process together. Legally speaking, you and Zhu Ling are both guardians of the child. As long as it can be proven that you are more suitable to raise Zhu Yan than him…”
Ji Kai felt helpless, saying, “The child belongs to someone else. Even though the parents are gone, there are still grandparents and other relatives. No matter how much I care for him, I can’t just snatch him away.”
“Stop,” Lawyer Zuo interjected, “Ji Kai, I’m sorry, but you need to consider yourself first.”
“…”
“A person is ‘self’ before anything else, and then they become a part of certain intimate relationships. The key is, you must always be selfish and prioritize your own well-being. While this may not align with today’s common and hypocritical values, it’s the truth,” the shop owner commented while serving roasted mushrooms, rice cakes, and leeks.
He continued, “Gargantel here has certainly broken through the nut wall in recent years and gained valuable life experience.”
“Don’t forget, I am a divorce lawyer,” Zuo Yan quipped.
“Examples like these happen every day. People fight to sustain relationships for the sake of ‘parents,’ ‘children,’ ‘responsibilities,’ and end up pushing themselves to the point of collapse, depression, and even illness. It takes them a while to realize the situation, and by then, it’s too late. I’ve seen too many such cases. Countless facts have proven that if a person can’t love themselves first, they can’t love others well.”
“So, Ji Kai, you should know what to do.”
Ji Kai was left stunned, feeling as though a bright light had suddenly pierced through the darkness, illuminating his path.
“Even if you love that child deeply, even if you have to face a future where he doesn’t understand you, hates you, or doesn’t want to see you again, remember it’s not your fault. It’s Zhu Ling’s responsibility, and the consequences are not yours to bear. Do your best, have a clear conscience, and if it really doesn’t work out, remember something: the fate of any person is the same. Sometimes destiny is at play, but when it’s not, don’t force it.”
The group of friends at the table rose to their feet one by one, offering physical comfort by hugging Ji Kai, patting his back, and squeezing in for a group hug.
“Brother Kai, no matter what you choose, we’ll support you.”
“Just like when you didn’t divorce two years ago, we might have been annoyed for a little while, but we continued to support you.”
“Don’t be afraid; don’t worry. We
‘ll always be your unwavering support, ready to stand by you when you need us.”
“If you ever need me to be with you or want me to deal with him, just say the word. It won’t cost me anything to get a three-year jail sentence for manslaughter.”
Ji Kai realized that he might not have any family left, but his gay friends were loyal, entertaining, and willing to drink with him when he was down, offer advice, and curse all the heartless people in the world.
…
…
Ji Kai had never considered joining forces with the gay group to confront Zhu Ling. He believed it was a battle he had to face alone.
Regardless of how angry he was or how deeply he thought about past domestic violence, he couldn’t resort to violence or intimidation just because he had a group of friends who were roughly 180 meters tall and knew their way around the gym.
However, fate had different plans. After a night of drinking, a group of his friends had a wild time, engaging in a series of logical and crazy activities under the influence of alcohol. They stumbled around and eventually fell asleep on his bed, sofa, floor, and even in the bathtub.
When they were woken up by Li Weidu’s phone call the next day, they all looked bewildered.
Please let me know if there are typos/mistakes in the chapter.
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