IRAJAS Chapter 23

“Why did you commit suicide?”

This question caught him off guard; he really didn’t know why “Lin Lan” would commit suicide. It could be because of his illness, or it might not have been a suicide attempt at all.

“Because…” Lin Lan looked up, seeing everyone staring at him. He casually smiled, “Because the pressure was too much, and I developed some illness. You should be able to tell. In fact, I’ve been taking medication all along.”

Everyone knew he might have some mental issues, but it was never openly discussed. Now that he admitted it himself while trying to play it down, it made everyone feel a bit sorry for him.

“Lin Lan, if there’s something wrong, you must speak up. Don’t force yourself,” someone said.

Lin Lan wasn’t really forcing himself. As he wasn’t the original person and had only acquired part of the memories without the full emotional depth, he helplessly said, “You don’t need to look at me with those eyes. I’m fine now. After experiencing death once, I’ve figured out a lot of things.”

Unable to hold back, Xiao Hai asked, “Will you do it again in the future?”

Everyone’s gaze once again fell on Lin Lan, a mix of concern and worry. This reminded Lin Lan of the time he had an accident; there was only the Silly dog by his bedside. He didn’t expect so many people to care about him in this world.

He felt warmth in his heart. “I really am fine now. I won’t do it again in the future.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, especially Lu Shi, “Damn, good buddy, you scared me.”

Lin Lan smiled and reached out to spin the spoon.

He used a peculiar force, the spoon wobbling and rotating twice before stopping in front of Xiao Shengjing.

“Haha, it’s the captain.”

“Lin Lan, go ahead and ask.”

Lin Lan turned to Xiao Shengjing with a semi-joking yet serious tone, “Captain, were we classmates in school?”

His tone was teasing, his gaze bold.

Impossible to evade.

Everyone knew Lin Lan liked Xiao Shengjing, but he had always kept it hidden. This was the first time he revealed it so boldly.

Lu Shi added fuel to the fire, “So the captain and Lin Lan are alumni!”

Feifei joined in, “Quick, tell us, how did you two meet?”

Xiao Shengjing’s hands were initially at his sides but ended up clasping together in front of him. He looked up at Lin Lan, seemingly seeing a probing curiosity hidden behind the apparent boldness.

This time, Xiao Shengjing did not evade his question, “Yes.”

The two locked eyes, as if some unknown undercurrent was surging, deep and fluctuating, engaged in a silent confrontation.

After answering, Xiao Shengjing reached out to grasp the spoon, paused for several seconds before giving it a forceful twist. The spoon spun twice and swayed before stopping in front of Lin Lan.

Lin Lan looked at the spoon, furrowing his brows.

Xiao Shengjing raised his head, “Is the person you like present?”

Everyone thought Xiao Shengjing asked a pointless question. Lin Lan liked him, how could he not be present?

But Lin Lan couldn’t come up with an answer.

Suddenly, the lights flickered, casting a fleeting glow on his mysterious and gloomy eyelashes.

Xiao Shengjing’s heart sank bit by bit. He looked at Lin Lan in front of him, and a certain speculation had already begun to take shape.

Just at this crucial moment, the base suddenly experienced a power outage.

The training room plunged into complete darkness.

Lin Lan felt that even in the darkness, Xiao Shengjing was silently looking at him. He didn’t know what he was looking at or why he asked that way.

Was he suspecting himself?

“Damn, power outage! Was there no notice?”

“It’s probably a circuit breaker trip. Shine the flashlight for me.”

After some fumbling, the base finally returned to brightness. Everyone lost interest and gradually dispersed.

Only Xiao Shengjing remained motionless, still sitting in his old spot. His gaze crossed everything and focused on Lin Lan, his eyes steady and reserved, expressing neither joy nor anger. It was as if he wanted to see through him.

Had he discovered something? With a sense of unease, Lin Lan returned to his room. Just as he was about to close the door, a hand suddenly grabbed the door frame.

Xiao Shengjing stood at the doorway, blocking almost all the light. In backlit moments, he exuded an overwhelming sense of pressure, “Lin Lan, I have something to ask you.”

Lin Lan let him in. The already cramped room suddenly accommodated the tall figure of Xiao Shengjing, and the oppressive feeling intensified.

“What does the captain want to ask?” Lin Lan remained calm.

“Why did you ask me today if I recognize you at school?” Xiao Shengjing went straight to the point, his gaze firmly holding him.

Lin Lan smiled, attempting to lower his guard, “I just wanted to know if the captain still remembers me. I used to like you; you should remember that, right?”

“How could I forget you?” Xiao Shengjing paused, his gaze gradually turning cold. “Are you asking if the person who abandoned you in the alley that day was me?”

Lin Lan didn’t expect this twist. Xiao Shengjing had abandoned “Lin Lan” in a life-threatening situation? He suppressed his shock and probed, “Captain, which incident are you talking about? I’ve forgotten.”

“Lin Lan, how could you forget? You almost died that day.”

Xiao Shengjing turned around, locking him with a complex gaze that Lin Lan couldn’t comprehend, as if suppressing something forcefully. “Lin Lan, did you come to DT to retaliate against me? You hide every day, secretly watching me, not because you like me, but because you hate me. Was the suicide attempt to get my attention? And now, intentionally getting close to me, what exactly do you want to do?”

The information was too overwhelming, and Lin Lan couldn’t catch up for a moment.

The overhead light was completely blocked by Xiao Shengjing, who stood in front of him, his icy gaze intimidating. “Lin Lan, whether you believe it or not, I did not abandon you to die that day.”

Lin Lan was unsure about the whole incident, so he didn’t know how to respond. “Can you please explain it in more detail?”

“I can explain it very clearly, but Lin Lan, tell me, what do you really want to do?”

Lin Lan didn’t know if Xiao Shengjing was worth trusting. From the last memories, Xiao Shengjing had saved “Lin Lan,” but now he claimed to have abandoned him in the alley. Lin Lan wasn’t sure if there was malice towards him and what Xiao Shengjing’s stance was.

“I…” His brain rapidly spun, fabricating a lie, “After the suicide, I only remember fragments. Many things are blurry, but I can feel that it wasn’t a suicide. It was like someone was forcing me. So, I want to regain my memories and understand why I tried to commit suicide.”

“Lin Lan” did indeed die from taking pills, but there was another possibility. He might have been forced to death. This was the speculation Lin Lan had come up with in these past few days.

He was deceiving Xiao Shengjing, but it wasn’t entirely a deception.

After hearing this, Xiao Shengjing furrowed his brows, his gaze somewhat suspicious.

Lin Lan continued to fabricate, “Captain, it’s okay if you don’t believe me. It does sound absurd. I wasn’t planning to tell you initially, but you kept pressing…”

The light fell on his slender shoulders, making him look somewhat pitiful, but beneath that pitiful appearance hid a cunning character.

Xiao Shengjing slightly bent down, the height-induced pressure becoming even more intense, “Is this the reason you deliberately approached me?”

Lin Lan’s eyelid twitched, trying to keep himself calm.

“Last time, you didn’t get an answer, quite regretful, isn’t it?”

“The spoon can control the force, am I right?”

“Actually, it’s not necessary to make it so complicated. You ask me, and I’ll tell you.”

He reached his hand behind Lin Lan, stopping at the seventh vertebra, the chilly touch making one’s scalp tingle, and the warm breath fell on his ear, “That day in the alley, that wound, right at your position. I couldn’t see the person’s face clearly; he wore a mask. I only saw a bright ring on his hand.”

After finishing speaking, his fingers followed the vertebra upwards. The large hand effortlessly controlled his neck, as soft and fine as imagined.

Xiao Shengjing bent down; there was no emotion in his eyes. His voice, like the murmurs between lovers, was gentle, “Lin Lan, your purpose has been achieved. You don’t need to deliberately approach me in the future…”

He finished speaking and withdrew.

In the cramped room, there was finally a moment to catch one’s breath.

Lin Lan could sense that Xiao Shengjing was angry, but he didn’t have the mindset to think about anything else. He reached out to touch the seventh vertebra, and indeed, there was a scar.

He took off his shirt and finally saw it clearly using the reflection in the mirror. The scar meandered on his slender back, like a wound from some kind of conical weapon. If he remembered correctly, this position was a vital point for humans. With such a deep wound, the other party was likely trying to take “Lin Lan’s” life.

Staring at the scar for a long time, Lin Lan felt his head spinning. The scar kept distorting in front of his eyes, the surroundings plunged into darkness, senses distorted, and his whole body ached. There was also the cold rain hitting his face.

In his ears, there were disorderly footsteps, and many people were laughing and joking. Someone kicked him a few times, and he felt like he was lying on the cold cement ground, in pain to the point of nausea, with mist in his eyes.

“Haha, this kid won’t die so easily, will he?”

“How can it be that easy to die?”

The mocking laughter of the crowd grew louder, until a crisp pair of footsteps sounded amid the commotion, gradually silencing the surrounding laughter.

Lin Lan felt as if he had opened his eyes in the murkiness, seeing a pair of white shoes that the rain couldn’t stain, no matter how hard it poured.

The person squatted down, using cold hands to pinch his chin. The sensation was completely different from Xiao Shengjing’s, like a poisonous scorpion crawling up his spine, paralyzing him from the scalp to the heel.

The person chuckled, “Lin Lan, can you pretend so well?”

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