The two returned to the hotel, each taking a shower and preparing to sleep.
At first, Lin Lan didn’t think it mattered to share a room; they weren’t close anyway. However, after chatting outside and returning, he felt a change in his mood.
Staring at the ceiling, Lin Lan couldn’t sleep for a long time. He turned to look at the adjacent bed where Xiao Shengjing lay. In the dim moonlight, he could see Xiao Shengjing’s eyes tightly closed, sleeping peacefully.
It’s strange; he had a face identical to the silly dog, yet you could tell they were two different people. Even if they were placed in the same body, you could still distinguish them.
Was it the same for the captain when he looked at himself?
Lin Lan tentatively called out to him, “Captain?”
The closed eyes slowly opened. Xiao Shengjing wasn’t asleep. He turned his head slightly to look at Lin Lan, his voice low, “Can’t sleep?”
“I want to ask a question,” Lin Lan lay on his side, looking at him. “Captain, in your eyes, are he and I two different people? If we switch, can you tell?”
“You two are completely different, I can tell at a glance.”
“Even if I change my shell, you can still recognize me?”
Xiao Shengjing paused for a long time. Suddenly, he turned to look at Lin Lan. There seemed to be some emotion surging in his eyes, well-hidden by him. “No matter where you are, I can recognize you.”
For a moment, Lin Lan felt like he had been seen through. He had considered telling Xiao Shengjing the truth about everything, but when the words were on the tip of his tongue, he couldn’t bring himself to speak.
He phrased it differently, “Captain, if, I mean if, one day I’m no longer here, possibly dead or gone to another world, which would you prefer?”
Death or disappearance, which would be easier for someone to accept?
Lin Lan awaited his response, unsure if it was just his imagination, but he felt the captain’s eyes were a bit reddened, hiding complex emotions. “Then I’d prefer you to go to another world and live well.”
Lin Lan was still pondering the meaning of his words when suddenly his phone rang. It was a friend request from a contact named Jiang Xi’s alternate number.
He sat up from the bed. “Jiang Xi replied to me.”
He quickly added Jiang Xi’s number and sent her a message: Hello, Jiang Xi, I’m Lin Lan.
After sending the message, he held onto his phone, nervously awaiting a response.
Xiao Shengjing also sat up in bed, joining him in the wait.
The agonizing 30 seconds passed, each second filled with tension. The phone displayed “typing,” and Jiang Xi replied: Lin Lan, can you help me?
Immediately, a long and chaotic voice message followed: “…Xie Zilu found out about my return to China. He’s arranging people everywhere to find me. I dare not even buy a train ticket. I came back riding in an unlicensed cab all the way. My, my grandmother is sick. I just wanted to see her once when I returned to China, but Xie Zilu, he arranged many people to investigate me. I dare not go to the hospital…”
Lin Lan didn’t even have time to type a response. He sent her a voice message directly, “Where are you now? Why is he investigating you?”
Jiang Xi’s voice sounded urgent, with a hint of tears, “I’m near my grandmother’s hospital, in a hotel called XX. He doesn’t want me to see my grandmother. Lin Lan, you know, I offended him because of that thing. He’s searching for me everywhere, blocking me from going to the hospital. I must see my grandmother one last time; she’s not doing well. I have to go. Lin Lan, please help me…”
“Don’t worry for now,” Lin Lan suggested a solution, “Let me call the police for you.”
Jiang Xi’s emotions became agitated, “I don’t want to involve the police. I want to see my grandmother! If I call the police, I won’t get to see her. This might be the last time I see her. Lin Lan, considering I saved you before, can you please help me? Everyone else is afraid of him. Only you can help me. Xie Zilu won’t harm you, only you can help me…”
Lin Lan immediately got dressed, “Send me the address first.”
After receiving the address, Lin Lan checked it. Even if he took a taxi right away, it would take at least three hours.
This time is too long, isn’t it? Lin Lan was very anxious, struggling with the zipper twice before managing to fasten it. Xiao Shengjing comforted him, “It’s okay, don’t panic.”
It wasn’t easy to find a taxi outside, and they had to walk quite far, paying double the fare before finally getting a ride.
After a long, uneasy period, Jiang Xi sent another voice message, her breath tight and nervous, “I just, just saw someone downstairs. It seems to be Xie Zilu’s person. I just called the hospital; he must be monitoring my number and found my location. Otherwise, he couldn’t have come so quickly…”
Lin Lan quickly instructed her, “Give me the room number, turn off your phone, and I’ll knock five times when I arrive. Don’t open it for anyone else.”
Jiang Xi replied with a “good,” and then went offline on VX.
It would take at least 50 more minutes to reach the destination. Every minute felt incredibly anxious, and Lin Lan sensed himself inching closer to the truth. In the process, he became so nervous that his hands and feet went cold.
Involuntarily, he tightened his grip on his knees. Soon, a large, warm hand covered his, offering support.
Xiao Shengjing said nothing, just kept staring out the window. The warmth of his palm significantly eased Lin Lan’s restlessness.
Lin Lan took a deep breath and tried to relax, “Captain, are you sleepy?”
Xiao Shengjing shook his head, “Not sleepy, used to staying up late.” He turned to look at Lin Lan, suddenly reaching out to rest Lin Lan’s head on his shoulder, “If you’re tired, lean on me for a while.”
Lin Lan obediently closed his eyes, tightly holding onto Xiao Shengjing’s hand. Falling asleep was impossible, but the anxious feeling did lessen a bit.
After a lengthy wait, they finally arrived at the hotel.
It was a very rudimentary inn, not even qualifying as a proper hotel. An uncle in his forties guarded the entrance, snoring loudly as he slept inside.
Lin Lan followed the room numbers to find Jiang Xi’s place. The hallway was dimly lit, lacking even an elevator, and the room numbers were randomly arranged, requiring a systematic search on each floor.
Finally locating Jiang Xi’s residence, Lin Lan knocked five times, quietly waiting. After a moment, a weak voice came from inside, “Is it Lin Lan?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
Jiang Xi opened the door from the inside. Despite being backlit, Lin Lan immediately recognized her.
Apart from looking a bit weary, her appearance had hardly changed. Her facial features remained beautiful, and she was still petite. Her skin was fair, unmistakably the look of an affluent girl.
She seemed a bit uncertain, not recognizing Lin Lan immediately. “Are you Lin Lan?”
Lin Lan immediately messed up his hair, covering his eyes. “Dyed my hair, how about now? Can you recognize me?”
Jiang Xi nodded, allowing them to enter.
She seemed to have recognized Xiao Shengjing as well, hesitatingly looking at Lin Lan.
Lin Lan explained to her, “He is now my captain, one of us; you don’t need to be nervous.”
Jiang Xi nodded again, seeming to trust Lin Lan a lot. She nervously clutched Lin Lan’s arm, her eyes reddened, “Lin Lan, I just want to see my grandmother now. Xie Zilu, he sent people to surround the hospital, and I can’t see her now.”
Xiao Shengjing had initially prepared to sit down and listen to her, but he abruptly stood up, his gaze coldly fixed on her gripping Lin Lan’s hand.
Unaware of this, Jiang Xi continued, “I saw them downstairs just now. They must be monitoring my number, Lin Lan, what should I do? The doctor said if I don’t go now, I won’t be able to see her. I flew back this time specifically to see her…”
In her disordered narrative, Lin Lan roughly understood the situation. Jiang Xi offended Xie Zilu due to some incident, had to flee abroad, and now had to return because of her grandmother’s illness. Xie Zilu, aware of the situation, had blocked the hospital, preventing her from entering. However, Jiang Xi was determined to see her grandmother one last time.
“First, lead away the people Xie Zilu sent.”
Lin Lan’s immediate response was to look at Xiao Shengjing, who also understood his meaning.
The two took out Jiang Xi’s SIM card and Lin Lan’s phone. With perfect coordination, they switched the SIM cards seamlessly, not needing to say a single word, much like a well-coordinated team on a racing field.
After the card exchange, Xiao Shengjing pulled Lin Lan aside, patting his head with a somewhat complex expression. “Jiang Xi… she used to write love letters to you.”
“I know,” Lin Lan added, “But they were for someone else, not for me.”
This statement immediately relieved Xiao Shengjing. He gripped Lin Lan’s shoulder, unsure of what to say, and could only manage, “Stay safe.”
“Yeah.”
The two parted ways.
Xiao Shengjing, holding Jiang Xi’s SIM card, went downstairs to hail a taxi and quickly left. On the way, he dialed the number.
Lin Lan stayed behind with Jiang Xi. While waiting, he looked at her, contemplating some questions.
“Why did you offend Xie Zilu? Did you discover some secret of his?”
Jiang Xi’s expression suddenly became fearful, and she shook her head incessantly. “You, please don’t ask anymore. I can’t say.”
Lin Lan stared at her expression, probing, “Did he hurt someone, or did he kill someone?”
Clearly guessing wrong, Jiang Xi shook her head. Her hands nervously clenched together, and the memory of that incident still frightened her. “Lin Lan, I’m not telling you for your own good. Xie Zilu won’t spare anyone who knows about that.”
She was unwilling to disclose more, and Lin Lan didn’t press further. Xie Zilu’s involvement likely had no connection to the original host’s death but purely sparked Lin Lan’s curiosity.
After she calmed down a bit, Lin Lan asked her again, “Were you close with the brothers Tai Zhen and Tai Yuan at school? Do you still have contact with them?”
She nodded, looking anxious, “Lin Lan, did you move out of that house? Did they do anything to you? Tai Zhen contacted me a few months ago. I was still abroad at the time. They said you moved out and wouldn’t be going back. I was worried about you, but I couldn’t reach you. Why did you delete me as a friend?”
This reminded Lin Lan of something—the original host had cleared all chat records and deleted many people before taking medication.
Lin Lan calmly replied, “Four months ago, on February 18th, my 18th birthday, I attempted suicide by taking pills.”
Jiang Xi looked up at him in disbelief, her eyes filled with shock and heartache. Suddenly, she rushed forward and hugged him tightly, “Lin Lan, you promised me you would keep on living. Why are you so foolish? And, haven’t you already moved out? You’re an adult now; you don’t have to go back. You’ve escaped from them, so why do this?”
Lin Lan also wanted to know why, “Did the brothers say anything to you?”
Jiang Xi grabbed her phone and showed Lin Lan the messages. Four months ago, when Tai Zhen contacted her on February 18th, precisely four hours before the original host took sleeping pills, he seemed almost prescient, happily messaging Jiang Xi: “It’s done. We won’t see that useless waste anymore. Ah Xi, you don’t have to think about him anymore.”
Worried, Jiang Xi asked him, “What did you do to him?”
Suddenly, Tai Zhen changed his tone, telling her, “What can I do to him? He’s grown up and moved out. Ah Xi, my dad allowed me to study abroad. I’ll come to find you.”
After that, Jiang Xi didn’t reply to him. He sent a few more messages but received no response, and he gave up.
Tai Zhen knew four hours before the original host’s suicide that the original host would disappear from this world.
Lin Lan felt a chilling sensation running from his feet to the top of his head.
Jiang Xi sneakily glanced downstairs and anxiously said, “Lin Lan, it seems like they’ve all left.”
Lin Lan stood up, and he and Jiang Xi took a taxi to the hospital. Downstairs was filled with Xie Zilu’s people, some of whom Lin Lan recognized.
“On which floor is your grandmother?”
“3rd floor.”
Thanks to Xie Zilu’s “generosity,” Lin Lan was now quite familiar with this hospital, and the emergency room was also on the 3rd floor.
He muttered, “Caused trouble.”
Then, he picked up some dust from the ground and smeared it all over Jiang Xi’s face, making her look disheveled and nothing like the affluent girl she was. Following the same pattern, he dirtied himself, put on a hat, covered Jiang Xi with his jacket, and lifted her horizontally.
Running into the hospital, panting heavily, he shouted, “Doctor, my sister had a car accident. Please help her!”
Xie Zilu’s people noticed them, but their appearance didn’t match the descriptions. They quickly shifted their attention away.
Lin Lan carried Jiang Xi into the hospital, placed her on a stretcher, and followed the doctor to the 3rd floor in the elevator.
The doctor asked many questions, but during the examination, they noticed something wrong. “Huh,” the doctor exclaimed, “Where did you hit?”
Jiang Xi suddenly regained consciousness, frightened, and struggled to sit up, stuttering, “I-I-I’m fine.”
Lin Lan explained, “She should be just scared.”
“Ding—” The elevator arrived at the 3rd floor.
Lin Lan pulled Jiang Xi to her grandmother’s ward. As soon as they stepped out, two people recognized Lin Lan among those left by Xie Zilu. Lin Lan positioned Jiang Xi behind him, realizing he couldn’t rely on his strength alone.
At that moment, a doctor came out of the ward. Seeing the doctor, Jiang Xi rushed up as if she had found a savior, “Doctor Yan, how is my grandmother?”
Dr. Yan shook his head, “The deterioration is severe. Her physiological indicators have been declining these days. Why are you only coming now?”
Jiang Xi’s tears flowed instantly, and she was anxious. She wanted to go in and see her grandmother, but the two people immediately stopped her. “Miss Jiang, Mr. Xie has given instructions…”
Suppressed emotions erupted instantly. Jiang Xi took off her shoes and wildly smashed them on the heads of those blocking her way. “Get away! Get away! I want to see my grandmother!”
Dr. Yan encountered such a situation for the first time. He tried to stop Jiang Xi while calling security, “There’s a disturbance on the 3rd floor. Security, come quickly.”
Seeing the security approaching, the two people had no choice but to release Jiang Xi, allowing her to enter.
They cast a wary glance at Lin Lan, seemingly recognizing him. With stern faces, they left and called to report the situation.
Finally, Jiang Xi saw her grandmother. Even through the walls, the suppressed sound of her grandmother crying could be heard. Lin Lan, a person with no family, was also moved by the faint touch of her voice.
Standing outside the door, he took out his phone and messaged Xiao Shengjing: “She’s seen her.”
Initially, he had a lot to say to Xiao Shengjing, sent a bunch of messages, and then suddenly realized that Xiao Shengjing’s SIM card was still with him. “Damn it,” he exclaimed.
Social death.
After Captain puts the SIM card back, he’ll probably burst into laughter seeing how unexpectedly sentimental I became. Lin Lan really wanted to smack the version of himself from a moment ago.
After taking a moment to compose himself, he called Jiang Xi’s number, “Captain, come back. We’ve already arrived at the hospital.”
“Alright,” Xiao Shengjing told the driver to turn around, then leaned closer to the phone, “Lin Lan, the moon tonight is so bright.”
Lin Lan couldn’t see the moon from his position. He walked to the end of the corridor and glanced outside. Indeed, it was large and bright. “Really.”
A very light laughter came from the other end of the phone, indicating a good mood. Suddenly, Xiao Shengjing asked, “So, what’s your decision?”
He was referring to the confession.
Lin Lan had no idea how Xiao Shengjing connected the moon with this matter.
After the recent events, Lin Lan realized there was a profound understanding between him and Xiao Shengjing, a level of understanding he hadn’t experienced in the five years with the silly dog.
It felt as if, in the grand scheme of things, he had been waiting for someone like Xiao Shengjing all along.
Lin Lan remained silent for a long time as he gazed at the moon in the sky, knowing that Xiao Shengjing on the other end was doing the same. “Is it worth discussing even if there’s no outcome?”
“Yeah, it’s worth discussing even if there’s no outcome.”
Lin Lan smiled. He realized that the silly dog wasn’t silly at all; he had desired so much, but the one who truly acted foolishly was Xiao Shengjing.
“There are still some things I haven’t told you. When I decide to tell you someday, I’ll answer your question then.”
There was a soft breath on the other end of the phone, still calm as if he had already expected this. “Alright, I’ll wait for you.”
After hanging up, Lin Lan washed his face in the bathroom and returned to wait outside the ward.
It didn’t take long before an angry Xie Zilu stormed into the hospital.
He seemed to have been drinking, with lingering redness on his neck like an enraged beast forcefully opening the door to the ward. “Jiang Xi, you dare to come back?”
Jiang Xi in the ward was terrified, trembling as she stammered, “I-I called the police. What do you want?”
“Calling the police? Damn it, I am the law!” Xie Zilu approached the hospital bed, intending to drag Jiang Xi out. Suddenly, he heard a very calm voice behind him, “Xie Zilu, let’s talk.”
The enraged beast suddenly calmed down. He turned to stare at Lin Lan, suppressing his anger with a pulsating tension in his eyes.
Even in such an angry state, he could still manage a laugh, “Lin Lan, you truly live up to expectations.”
The two of them went to the end of the hospital corridor, and Xie Zilu dismissed everyone around.
They stood by the window, with the brightly lit hospital interior on one side and the bitterly cold night outside.
Xie Zilu was allergic to alcohol, his breathing more rapid than usual, and each scratch left a red mark. His attention was also not as focused as usual.
Lin Lan attempted to communicate with him, but after a few sentences, he felt there was no response. He decided on the spot, “Wait for me.”
He went to the first floor, then quickly returned, handing him a tube of allergy relief cream and a pack of cotton swabs. “This can alleviate your allergy. Apply some.”
Xie Zilu suddenly stopped his actions, turning to stare fixedly at Lin Lan. His eyes were bloodshot, and there was suppressed turmoil at the depths. His pupils were trembling, “What did Jiang Xi tell you?”
“She said she offended you, and you didn’t want her to see her grandmother.”
“Anything else?”
Lin Lan couldn’t bear to look at it. He took the ointment from the box, squeezed it onto a cotton swab, and earnestly applied it to the red rash on Xie Zilu’s neck. “She didn’t say anything else. She mentioned she didn’t want to harm me, so you can rest assured.”
Whether it was the effect of the ointment or his words, Xie Zilu suddenly quieted down.
He tilted his head, revealing a neck covered in rashes from the outside to the inside. His skin was fair and delicate, making even a slight redness appear severe.
Only when he calmed down, Lin Lan would realize that he was just a newly adult kid.
He lacked a sense of measure, didn’t understand etiquette, wanted the whole world to revolve around him, and had used some very wrong methods.
After applying the ointment, Lin Lan said to him, “Jiang Xi just wants to see her grandmother one last time. Your grievances with her have nothing to do with her grandmother. Let her finish the meeting, and then you can resolve your issues on your own, okay?”
Xie Zilu turned his face away, revealing a more relaxed expression. The miraculously cooling ointment eased his anger, and he seemed unwilling to let Lin Lan see his emotions. He only left him with a stubborn back of his head and said, “Okay.”
Could it be this easy?
Lin Lan stretched his neck to try to see his expression but couldn’t. “Also, I’ve regained my memory.”
Xie Zilu’s body stiffened, and he turned abruptly to stare at him. “What did you say?”
“I visited the orphanage, found the records of my adoption, and now I know my relationship with Tai Zhen and Tai Yuan and the things they did to bully me. I know everything,” Lin Lan took a deep breath and added, “I know you’re not the murderer, Xie Zilu. I’ve uncovered the truth, and the game between us can end now.”
Xie Zilu’s expression trembled slightly; he found it hard to believe. He scrutinized Lin Lan from top to bottom, not missing any details. “So who are you now?”
Lin Lan smiled, “What do you think?”
Xie Zilu couldn’t distinguish, as the previous waste often acted and deceived him. With emotions in chaos, he couldn’t make a clear distinction now.
Lin Lan sighed; indeed, only Xiao Shengjing could instantly recognize him. “I’ve regained my memory, recalling everything related to you, including the words you said to me in the medical room. You mentioned that we both have similarly terrible pasts and that only through the process of breaking free can we transform like a caterpillar into a butterfly.”
Xie Zilu stared at him intensely, moving his lips but keeping a complex emotion hidden in his eyes. However, he didn’t say anything.
“I think your statement isn’t accurate,” Lin Lan lifted his head, earnestly looking at him. “I don’t know how you see it, but at least, I don’t.”
“I believe that the difficult past is also a part of oneself. Breaking free isn’t rebirth; it’s just a metamorphosis.”
Lin Lan felt a resemblance between himself and the original owner. Born into hardship, destined to transform into a butterfly, they both experienced suffering. The only difference was that Lin Lan endured until the age of 23, while the original owner succumbed at 18.
They both died in the process of transformation.
Both treated their past as something they should forget and escape from, fearing it beyond measure.
Just like the current Xie Zilu.
Lin Lan stopped applying the ointment, looking sincerely at him. “Just like the ugly duckling turning into a swan. It was always a swan. Xie Zilu, in certain situations, we are indeed quite alike. We are born to transform into butterflies, but the process of breaking free is not about erasing oneself; it’s about evolving into a stronger version of oneself. You are the same person; only when combined are you complete.”
As he finished the last word, Xie Zilu couldn’t conceal the emotions in his eyes.
Turning around, he leaned against the window. His already bony hands clenched the window ledge, and veins bulged as he squeezed.
Suppressed emotions surged, and his breath became rapid. “Lin Lan, I don’t need that weak version of myself, do you understand? Do you think you can influence me with just a few words?”
Lin Lan remained silent. He never liked imposing his emotions on others. Instead, he handed the ointment to Xie Zilu. “Whether the allergy on your body is uncomfortable, only you know. Don’t always expect others to apply ointment for you.”
Holding the ointment, Xie Zilu stared at Lin Lan as if he were looking at a monster. “Why don’t you continue?”
Lin Lan asserted, “If doctors can’t cure your ailment, how can I? I was just expressing my thoughts, talking to myself. Whether you want to listen or not is up to you.”
After finishing speaking, Lin Lan returned to the outside of the hospital room, knocked on the door, exchanged a few words with Jiang Xi, then briskly went downstairs, leaving with great efficiency.
Xie Zilu’s expression turned fierce as he glared at Lin Lan’s departure.
He found Lin Lan to be truly detestable. Always unpredictable, he would come in unexpected ways and leave in his unique manner, leaving people filled with a gnashing sense of hatred.
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