When Xia Zhiye and Song Yan appeared at the entrance of the gymnasium as usual, they found a heavy silence inside. Everyone was looking at them, as if they wanted to say something but didn’t dare to. Kong Xiaoxiao even had a hint of redness in her eyes.
Song Yan was the first to laugh. “What’s wrong with all of you?”
As soon as they saw him laugh, the others couldn’t hold back anymore. Little Fatty choked up and said, “Yan-ge, why are you still laughing? Just now, Kong Xiaoxiao went to the Academic Affairs Office to get equipment and overheard Liu Deqing telling other teachers that your dad is going to transfer you away.”
“Oh, this.” Song Yan smiled, “That’s what happened. They found out that I was dating Xia Zhiye.”
“…”
Because he said in such an understated and nonchalant manner, the others sat there, not knowing how to react for a while.
Only Song Yan continued to smile and said, “But my father said he’ll take me away after we finish the performance. It happens to be my birthday that day, so can you all give me some extra energy then?”
Perhaps because Song Yan usually was cold and harsh, so when he smiled like that, everyone couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness in their hearts.
Little Fatty was the first to hug Song Yan, wailing loudly, “Why is your dad like this? What’s wrong with liking guys? Why does he want you to transfer? You just transferred here not long ago. Is it fun to keep transferring?”
Song Yan, who has always refused to be touched by anyone except Xia Zhiye, broke his usual reluctance and patted Fang Chang on the back for the first time. “Alright, stop crying, you’re 200 pounds, you know. I left my membership card for the milk tea shop at the school gate for you. One more stamp and you can exchange it for three free cups of milk tea.”
Little Fatty started crying even harder. “Wuu– aghhhh–!! Yan-ge, you’re so kind, you’re really good, please don’t go, can you? I can’t bear to see you leave, really can’t bear it.”
Zhao Ruiwen couldn’t help it either. He rushed over and hugged Song Yan from behind. “I’m sorry, Yan-ge, I shouldn’t have said I was tired of watching you two being affectionate. I can still watch you until graduation, really. Can you please not transfer schools? What will happen to our Lord Xia if you transfer school?”
“That’s right, you can sprinkle dog food as you like, just don’t go.”
“I will change the script, I will write you a HE1happy ending, I must write you a HE, sob sob sob…”
In the gymnasium, the other male students didn’t cry as miserably as the two of them, but their eyes were also red. They came up, one by one, to give Song Yan tight hugs.
In the past, Xia Zhiye would have surely felt jealous and kicked these people away, but now he just stood silently aside, watching Song Yan, watching him bid farewell to this city.
Watching this sharp young man who initially seemed cold and indifferent, as if he would never deign to make friends, now learning to smile gently and say “goodbye” with such cherish in his voice.
And it wasn’t until all the boys had bid their goodbyes that Kong Xiaoxiao, holding the pair of bright red robes, stood in front of Song Yan. She held back her choking sobs and said calmly, “Don’t worry, Yan-ge. We’ll definitely perform well. We’ll even change the ending to ‘happily ever after’, buy you the biggest cake, celebrate your birthday, and make sure you have no regrets. So, go ahead and try on the clothes. If they don’t fit, I’ll go exchange them tomorrow.”
Song Yan took it with both hands and said with a smile, “Okay, thank you Xiao-jie.”
The boy, already exceptionally good-looking, now smiled so gently that Kong Xiaoxiao couldn’t hold back anymore. With a “wah,” she burst into tears and said, “Yan-ge, if you feel bad, just cry it out. It hurts to see you holding it in like this.”
It seemed as if he really thought their reactions were too exaggerated.
Song Yan couldn’t help but laugh, saying, “Don’t make it sound like we’re saying our final goodbyes as if I have a terminal illness. Xia Zhiye and I will never break up. With our grades, we’re destined to meet again at Peking University after the college entrance examination. There’s no need to cry over this.”
“Really?”
Kong Xiaoxiao sucked her stuffy nose, feeling suspicious.
Song Yan hugged the bright red robe and turned to look at Xia Zhiye, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think it’s true?”
“Of course it’s true,” Xia Zhiye said casually, as usual, as he approached and slung an arm over Song Yan’s shoulder. He lazily grinned, “Are you thinking I won’t get into Peking University, or is it that my Yan-ge won’t?”
“Neither.”
“Alright, that’s settled then. Stop all this crying; someone might think Yan-ge beat you up or something. Let’s go change clothes first, and then we can see how the script will be revised.”
Xia Zhiye casually slung an arm around Song Yan’s shoulder, carrying the wedding attire in one hand as he leisurely strolled towards the dressing rooms behind the music hall. They exchanged light-hearted banter along the way. Upon reaching the dressing room, they each took their respective clothes and disappeared into separate stalls.
Undressing, changing clothes, calm and orderly, it seems that there was really no big difference.
It seems they have both reached a level of rationality and calmness where they won’t engage in unnecessary crying over this temporary separation.
However, when Song Yan lowered his head and couldn’t seem to fasten the last button on the ceremonial robe, suddenly there was a wet splash sound, and tears fell to the ground.
He tried hard to suppress the sourness welling up in the corners of his eyes and nose, straining to keep his eyes wide open, attempting not to let tears blur his vision, and his fingertips also struggled to remain steady and meticulous.
But his nose kept getting more and more sour, his vision more and more blurry, his fingertips more and more trembling, and that tiny button just couldn’t seem to slip into the loop where it belonged.
When he failed again and again, when he couldn’t see anything clearly in front of him. He lowered his head and cried out, “Xia Zhiye.”
Then the curtain was lifted, and he was embraced in his arms. “I’m here.”
The other youth’s voice was similar to him – hoarse and trembling.
At that moment, Song Yan couldn’t hold back anymore. He leaned into Xia Zhiye’s arms, his fingers tightly gripping his clothes, his voice uncontrollably hoarse. “Xia Zhiye, I don’t want to leave. I really don’t want to leave. I don’t know if I can endure it, and I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t. I’m afraid of a relapse of depression, I’m afraid I’ll never sleep again, I’m afraid of being apart for so long and you won’t come to find me. Xia Zhiye, I’m so sad, really sad, the kind that makes me suffocate. What should I do?”
The last note drowned in a desperate sob.
The large red silk fabric on Xia Zhiye’s shoulder was wetted – now, there’s a large patch of dark dampness.
The cold and hard-hearted youth finally lost his disguise, his slender and frail back trembling hopelessly like a butterfly defeated by the winter.
Xia Zhiye couldn’t express the exact kind of heartache he felt at that moment, nor could he convey how much he hated his own helplessness.
He could only hold onto Song Yan tightly, his voice hoarse but determined. “Don’t be afraid, I will definitely come find you. Boyfriends never break their promises, right? So you must eat well, sleep well, and wait for me. I’ll come with the property deed, bank card, and a big diamond ring to pick you up. Okay?”
Song Yan wanted to say okay, but he was afraid that as soon as he opened his mouth, he would burst into tears uncontrollably. He could only bite his lip tightly, his fingers gripping the fabric of Xia Zhiye’s clothes so hard they were almost losing their reddish color. Then he nodded and let out a muffled “Mn” from his nostrils.
Xia Zhiye heard the muffled “Mn”, lifted his head, closed his eyes, trying to prevent certain liquid from dripping down.
Then he took a deep breath, smiled, and ruffled Song Yan’s head. “It’s just a year and a half. We still have sixty more of those ahead of us. What’s there to be afraid of? Besides, with technology so advanced now, being apart doesn’t mean losing contact. We can still play games together, chat together. If all else fails, we can even send letters through courier, just like Zhou Ziqiu and Shen Jiayan did when they were in a long-distance relationship. We can even use a voice changer to spice things up. Doesn’t that make sense?”
Song Yan’s throat rolled up and down. “Mn.”
“How about we spend these next few days being extra clingy? I haven’t had enough of you being clingy with me.”
“Mn.”
“How about lifting your head up and letting me take a good look at you? It would be a waste not to admire the naturally beautiful face of our dear Yan-ge a bit more.”
“Fuck you.”
Song Yan finally burst into tears and smiled, lightly kicked Xia Zhiye, and raised his head.
The flushed and moist corners of the eyes, the blood-stained corners of the lips, the bright red festive attire, the pale complexion, and the eyes that had shed all pretense to reveal their vulnerability—all of it collided and entered the depths of Xia Zhiye’s eyes in an instant.
At that moment, he realized that he fell in love with Song Yan earlier than he thought.
Perhaps it was at that moment when he saw Song Yan trying on the wedding robes that he entertained the thought. At that time, he might’ve thought – how wonderful it would be if he was a girl, he can become his bride in the future.
Unfortunately, Song Yan was not a girl. But since he’s a boy, he could be his groom in the future.
But it doesn’t matter.
“Song Yan, we will always be together.”
He lightly touched the wound on the corner of Song Yan’s lips, and then kissed him deeply.
That was the most fervent, hopeless, yet resolute kiss of the teenage years in Song Yan’s memory, delivered by Xia Zhiye.
It seemed like with this kiss, they were trying to prove to their powerless youth that even though they had nothing, they would still love each other deeply, enough to withstand the long years, the vast distances, the biases of the world, and the unknown paths ahead.
So even many years later, Song Yan could still recall the sweetness of the blood and the saltiness of the tears in the kiss.
At that time, he had already worn the wedding ring engraved with Xia Zhiye’s name for many years. However, whenever he recalled those days, he still couldn’t help but wonder why they were so naive and full of confidence in each other, believing that they would always be together forever, even when they had nothing.
Indeed, perhaps that innocence and youthful enthusiasm are the most touching aspects of young love.
For example, they were so naive that in the days leading up to their departure, they wore matching couple outfits every day and paraded around the campus.
For example, they were so naive that Xia Zhiye bought him 466 mint-flavored lollipops2466 is most likely the length of their forced separation, about a year and a half., telling him to eat one every day and saying that when the candies ran out, he would come.
For example, they were so naive that they always held hands tightly under the desk during class, kissed in the woods during evening self-study, and slept together in the incredibly narrow bed of Room 616, embracing each other.
Another example is how they were so naive that they stuck together all the time, indulging in each other’s company, and even in the late night, they couldn’t bear to close their eyes, as if afraid to miss a single moment of each other’s presence.
And there was the instance of their naivety when they staged a dramatic scene during the 110th anniversary celebration of Nanwu No. 3 Middle School, disregarding the overall tone and painting the scene with bold strokes.
Fang Chang, playing the role of Matriarch Zhu, demanded that Liang Shanbo write a letter to break up with Zhu Yingtai himself. When she was refused, Matriarch Zhu angrily flung her sleeves and said, “You won’t write it? Do you think anger will change the fate between you and Yingtai? Blame yourselves for having too many ideas. When you were young and ignorant, you thought that disliking something could change the people around you! You thought that just the two of you could change this era!”
Every word, with a loud voice, clearly fell into the ears of a certain Song-xiansheng, an outstanding alumnus sitting in the first row.
The people in the audience groaned softly.
The person on the stage, however, remained dignified and unwavering in affection: “I once promised to him that when I come of age, I will come to propose marriage to him. He has intentions towards me, and I am also deeply in love with him. So, regardless of parental orders or even life and death, I cannot be restrained. Even if we cannot marry in life, we shall be together in death.”
Thus, his words became a prophecy.
Zhu Yingtai was forced by her parents to put on a red wedding gown to marry Ma Wencai.
Liang Shanbo’s lovesickness became so severe that he was bedridden. However, he never had the chance to see Zhu Yingtai again before his death.
Zhu Yingtai’s bridal sedan chair passed by Liang Shanbo’s grave. She was dressed in a wedding gown but had no intention of marrying anyone. In her despair, she touched the gravestone and collapsed in a pool of blood.
The lights dimmed, mournful music began, and white rose petals fell gently from above.
The moment the ill-fated lovers turn into butterflies, the play will be completed.
However, in the darkness, there came a low and gentle voice, calling, “Yingtai.”
Then the lights came on, the mournful music, and the white rose petals that should have fallen disappeared.
Xia Zhiye, dressed in a bright red wedding gown, emerged slowly from behind the grave and crouched down in front of Song Yan, gently caressing his face. “I’ve come to take you home.”
His gaze was so tender that Song Yan momentarily couldn’t distinguish whether those words were spoken by Liang Shanbo to Zhu Yingtai or by Xia Zhiye to himself. All he felt was a sudden tightness in his throat.
Xia Zhiye was not affected by his forgetfulness either, still speaking softly and gently, “This time, I was supposed to return to the underworld, but Lord Yan took pity on my lingering attachments and obsessions in life and allowed me to return to fulfill my wishes. Can you guess what those obsessions are?”
“Why?”
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you forever. So I’m here now to ask you to marry me. This obsession of mine… I wonder if you will be willing to fulfill it.”
With Xia Zhiye dressed in his stunning red wedding robe and speaking so tenderly, Song Yan thought, ‘There’s no one in this world who could refuse.’
Just like there’s no reason for him not to love Xia Zhiye.
No matter how hard the road ahead is…
Especially since he also saw the deep reluctance and sadness hidden beneath Xia Zhiye’s gentle smile.
So he looked into Xia Zhiye’s eyes and said in a hoarse voice, “I will.”
The spotlight fell on them in the darkness, as red rose petals fluttered down from above. The joyful tune of the moonlit serenade played on the suona, and they knelt facing each other.
The narration begins.
“First bow towards the heavens.”
Grateful for the fortune of having met and known each other in this place.
“Second bow towards the ancestral hall.”
Grateful of the helplessness of their youth.
“Husband and wife, bow to each other.”
Grateful for their belief – they will be together in the end.
The ceremony was over, the lights were dimmed, and play was finally over.
The audience was in an uproar.
The whole room was full of goodwill applause, cheers, and blessings.
Because except for a few who knew the truth, all the audience thought it was just sentimental teenagers giving a more happy ending to a tragic legend.
However, only those sentimental teenagers understood that a happy ending was just wishful thinking in the face of cruel reality.
They will be separated eventually.
The first time they performed the story of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai, they were still naive teenagers, unable to see through their own feelings. They only felt the taste of love and hate vaguely, and despite the tragic nature of the story, the play was filled with laughter, and everyone enjoyed it.
But now, as they performed the story again, they truly portrayed a tale of universal blessings and happiness. However, after the curtain fell, they remained kneeling on the ground, unwilling to rise for a long time.
They turned off their microphones.
Song Yan said, “Xia Zhiye, we may have to say goodbye first.”
And for the first time, Xia Zhiye didn’t come over to hug him when he choked up, just lowered his head, as if wanting to hide something, and said, “Mn, okay.”
Song Yan couldn’t see his expression clearly, he could only see the “喜” character earring on his left ear, reflecting a faint glow under the dim light.
Song Yan didn’t look for too long.
He thought, ‘So that’s why from now on I wouldn’t dare to look at Guanyin.’3this is SY rephrasing XYZ’s adlib on their rehearsal for the first “The Butterfly Lovers” play. XYZ said this as he looked at SY’s piercing marks on his ears
