最佳契合 (Perfect Match) – 十九瑶
Chapter 62
He An’s heart started beating so fast.
Though the story had a promising start, he knew that things were going to get worse.
With his eyes still closed and a calm expression, Yan Ning’s face became more intense as he instinctively clenched his jaw, “Hongming has put a lot of thought and effort into that meeting. He has spent weeks getting ready, including buying new clothes and neckties, and insisting that there can be no mistakes because he wants to make a good impression on my parents. At the time, I made fun of him by saying that he’s only being melodramatic by running around all by himself. Then on that fateful day, when Hongming laid eyes on my father for the first time, I had no idea that his personality would suddenly change.”
“I figured he was nervous at first. My father has worked in business and politics for many years. As a distinguished person, he is serious and can be quite terrifying. Meeting him for the first time makes almost every alpha nervous. But I quickly realized that, rather than nervousness, Hongming is embarrassed—and that embarrassment turned into hostility.”
“After exchanging a few pleasantries, I learned it wasn’t their first meeting. Two months ago, Hongming’s family’s business ran into major problems. Capital wasn’t flowing smoothly because the chain snapped, and it was difficult to keep it going—the options were to either renew or hit rock bottom. He went to my father’s office three times in a desperate attempt to secure funding, but each time he was turned down. Of course, he didn’t know that the person he was looking for was my father at that time.”
When Yan Ning talked about this, he couldn’t help but sigh deeply, “Hongming never told me a word about this matter from start to finish. Even though he’s obviously in emotional distress, he acts normally around me. It’s hard to understand an alpha’s self-esteem because, despite being under a lot of stress, they refuse to show even the slightest sign.”
“Well, that’s… how they are.” He An felt strongly about this.
Yan Ning went on to say, “Even after three rejections, Hongming’s reaction seemed to me to be a little too harsh. During dinner, my dad brought up the subject with only a few words, but Hongming was rude the whole time. His only interest was in rushing through the story as if it had never happened, so he avoided taking part in the conversation. I had a hunch that there was more going on, so after the meeting was over, I confronted my father about it, and he filled me in on every detail of those three visits.”
“What kind of treatment could an alpha in his early twenties get from my father if he didn’t have any credentials, didn’t come from an established family, and no one endorsed him? He wasn’t even allowed to come in through the office door. During those three meetings, which he called a “visit,” actually happened in the elevator, the lobby, and the basement parking lot.”
“In the elevator?!”
He An was shocked that he made a fist with his hand over his slightly open mouth.
Yan Ning smiled and nodded bitterly, saying, “It’s not easy for Hongming, a self-absorbed person like him, to make him bow his head and plead for help. Not only that, he asks for too much in front of a bunch of strangers and wastes dozens of seconds on the elevator’s fast ascend despite knowing no one will welcome him. He may be interrupted in the middle of his speech and never be able to finish it, or he may be given the opportunity to finish it only to be met with mocking laughter.”
“My father didn’t tell me how he turned down Hongming, but I can guess. He is a blunt person who never thinks about other people’s feelings. He’s quick to point out when someone isn’t up to standards, and in the worst-case scenario, he might only ask three words to prove their point: On what grounds?“
“Hongming has such high self-worth that I can’t even imagine how painful it must be for him.”
“Then… what did happen after that?” He An was worried and asked with concern, “Later, did your father agree to help?”
Yan Ning didn’t answer right away.
It was too cold for the tea to warm up his cold hands. He stood up and poured half of the drink into the cup. Then he held a puff of clear steam to his lips and took a slow sip.
“My father… eventually agreed. While eating dinner with Hongming, he told him: I don’t know you, but I believe in Ningning’s ideas. Since you’re the person Ning wants to be with, there’s no harm in taking the plunge. During that moment, Hongming remained calm and obedient, standing to tell my father: Thank you for the appreciation, uncle.“
“His family’s business avoided crisis and came back from the brink of death. After graduation, we married as planned. But after we tied the knot, his attitude toward me changed completely.”
“He became very cold, didn’t come home at all, and worked twenty-four hours a day. For some reason, I assumed he was hurting because of his pride and wanted to become distinguished right away so he could show my father how worthy he was. I patiently waited while he was busy during this time, until his career took off. Once everything stabilized and the struggling business became strong, I thought the resentment in his heart would dissipate.”
“But I didn’t realize I had been waiting for twenty years.”
As the new tea soothed his stomach, the intense heat irritated his eyes. Despite how tightly he held it, it was still cold.
Yan Ning expressed sadness, “In the last twenty years, he has become famous, and his social standing is now greater than that of my father, but he stays the same to me. I’ve never had any doubts about how he feels. It doesn’t matter if an alpha and omega love each other or not; they still go through the heat cycle together. It all makes sense to me. Even when he’s normally cold, he can’t keep himself in check when he’s in a rut. The Hongming from school, who loves me with an unending passion, is still there, but…”
“But the heat cycle is awfully short. He will start avoiding me and acting even more uncaring toward me as soon as it ends.”
⋮
Linglan mumbled something as he spoke.
She was asleep and enjoying sucking on her fingers while lying in He An’s arms. Yan Ning looked at her, suddenly feeling a sense of calm, before reaching out to gently pat her on the head.
He An noticed this and pulled Linglan’s hand from her mouth, placing it in Yan Ning’s palm.
“Uncle Yan.” Softly, he said, “I think I know what your Hongming might be running from.”
“Really? Tell me.” Yan Ning said quietly.
He An explained, “He’s trying to hide the fact that he has feelings for you. No matter how much he wants to prove himself, he can’t do it on his own because of the wealth that’s on the line, so he needs your “support” for him to succeed. After that, he started to think you were more powerful than him. Since he’s unable to cope with being in your presence, all he can do is “dislike” you and keep his distance.”
Yan Ning lowered his head and played with Linglan’s little fingers for a long time. He then said, “He An, you are smarter than me. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out such a simple truth.”
“Like a jealous child, he repeatedly denied my career and hobbies. In the past, he would gracefully praise them in poetry; but these days, he finds it necessary to scrutinize and belittle them to make himself feel better. Not only that, but he flat-out denied being sincere with me, saying that he had been lured by pheromones. His logic was so ridiculous that he refused to tell himself the truth; he seemed pleased by it, and he had no intention of refuting it for a long time.”
“Self-confidence is a good trait to have, but it would be foolish to look for it in the person you sleep with.”
Yan Ning smiled instead, despite feeling completely helpless.
⋮
”After twenty years of neglecting me, my father passed. He was like a mirror, reflecting the lowest point in Hongming’s life. As soon as the mirror shattered, the pain in Hongming’s heart was freed. During the funeral, Hongming woke up from a deep sleep and cried next to me. That night, he found a photo album from when we were students, sat on the couch, and flipped through the pictures all night.”
He dropped most of his work and devoted himself to me—driving me to work, chatting with me, writing poems, reading all of my published books, and even having someone record me reading to my students. He went through each lesson on his own at home. I like lettuce, so he started a small vegetable garden to grow some. I enjoy eating fish, so he went to the lake every day to catch one and bring it back to make soup. For the past twenty years of neglect… he did everything to make it up to me, but he forgot one thing…”
Yan Ning sighed, “He isn’t the Hongming he was twenty years ago.”
Day after day, time changes a person’s appearance as well as their ideas and personality. Twenty years is long enough to create an unfamiliar face.
As long as two people walk hand-in-hand and occasionally look at each other, time won’t be able to make any significant changes. On the other hand, if you ignore each other and go in opposite directions, you won’t recognize anyone when you cross paths again.
Yan Ning has spent a long time in the ivory tower1A person who lives in an ivory tower is someone who is unaware of and inexperienced about the harsh realities of life. and still has an innocent nature in his forties and fifties, almost similar to when he was younger, but Zheng Hongming has gone too far.
He has climbed to the top of a pyramid filled with calculations and crimes, using countless dirty tricks. He lays them all out there without a care in the world. He wants to be known as a feared killer who gets things done quickly. The corpses piled up like a mountain under his feet. Each one was from a business that used to be very successful. Some of them died by being strangled when they first showed off their skills, and others were killed in a harrowing storm.
Fierce, pretentious, and calculating…
The traits that Yan Ning finds unacceptable eventually become embedded in Zheng Hongming’s personality. Having Yan Ning by his side every time he had an unethical plan would have saved him from having to be such a monster.
But there are no more ifs.
“Twenty years ago, Hongming wrote poems for me. I thought it was cute, no matter how awkward he was. But now, despite how passionately he looks at me, I’m aware deep down that we’re no longer connected. I could feel it.”
The stars are as deep as night and as bright as lamps.
Looking up at the stars, Yan Ning murmured, “I still remember the poem I copied on the blackboard when we first met, and he erased it. The last line was written like this:
Bodily decrepitude is wisdom2This implies that as we age, our bodies can teach us more about ourselves and the world around us.; young
We loved each other and were ignorant.
“If he could wake up earlier, in the first, second, and third years… I think I’d forgive him. Sadly, twenty years is a long time. How does it feel to be waiting on the sofa every night? I almost don’t remember either. I don’t hate him, nor do I love him anymore. Just forget about it.”
There was still the old black-and-white picture on the coffee table. Both of the young people’s faces were washed out by the intense light from the moon. It’s so vivid in Yan Ning’s mind that he can see it even when he closes his eyes.
What does it matter if a wonderful moment is frozen in time?
The reality goes on to flow into the deepest pit, passing and falling again until it’s buried in thousands of similar cries.
⋮
He An’s eyes were red, and he tried hard to keep his lips closed, but a tear fell.
He put his head down quickly and wiped it with the back of his hand to act like he wasn’t crying.
Yan Ning smiled and said, “Darling, don’t feel sorry for me. Love is a normal part of life, and when it fails, it fails miserably. To be honest, I’m more successful in this part of my life.”
“I feel blessed that I have enough clothing and food, a stable life, and a job I love. I also met a lot of smart kids at school and shared my small, shallow knowledge with them. That was fine with them too. They still remember me, even though I graduated years ago, and send me gifts and letters from all over the world. I consider myself to be an interesting person, even though I’m in my late fifties. I also enjoy the things that young people enjoy. Even though I defy rules, people still consider me a precious gem. I may have fallen behind because old people have a bad rap, but they are generally healthy, sleep well, and open to new ideas.”
“But what amazes me the most is that even now, as an elderly person, I still…”
I still get to have a lovely little granddaughter.
Yan Ning lightly brushed Linglan’s face with his fingers, his eyes full of love.
She’s just like He An, and nothing like that knucklehead back home.
Thank goodness.
“You still?” Noticing that he stopped mid-sentence made He An curious.
After some thought, Yan Ning looked up at him and said, “I still have the opportunity to say calmly the words that were about to turn to mush in my chest. Thank you for being attentive and not being annoyed, He An.”
“Oh, no need for that…” He An was a little shy and said, “As long as you don’t feel uncomfortable.”
“Of course, everything works out in the end, but there are still some regrets.” Yan Ning sipped his tea and continued, “My two children are my greatest regret so far.”
“My oldest son is a little better. Hongming didn’t pick him to be the heir. It was mostly me who raised him, and he stayed with me for the most part. He is humble and cares about others. It’s not in his nature to be proud and look down on others, especially omegas. And my youngest son… He has an extremely high pheromone level. I’m not sure if this is a blessing or bad luck. Hongming saw him as the only heir and taught him too many strict rules when he was still growing.”
“He never really had a childhood; all he had was constant pushing and competing. There was no reward for winning, but there was punishment for losing and not winning properly. These punishments formed in him a very twisted mentality, which compelled him to prioritize his own needs above everyone else’s. His rivals were crushed under his feet, making it hard for him to stand and feel safe. Just like Hongming, he developed a hypervigilant, suspicious, and obsessive personality trait, which allowed him to shoo away any dangers before they could do any damage while being completely unharmed.”
“He needed nurturing, and I failed to teach him about tolerance, compassion, and empathy. Everyone else knows these things, but he has no clue about them, so he makes lots of mistakes and doesn’t know what he did wrong. He also has a very rough view of love. Just like Hongming, he messed up when he met the one. He got himself stuck in a loop and couldn’t get himself out of it.”
While He An was listening to this, his little finger started to twitch slightly.
Although Yan Ning didn’t say much, everything he said made him think of Zheng Feiluan. What would Zheng Feiluan’s childhood have been like if he had had the same thoughts, feelings, and personality problems?
No, don’t do that.
Don’t constantly think of him in random situations.
He An lowered his head, pressed his nails into his palms, and told himself over and over that he shouldn’t think too much. But as he dropped his head, he caught a glimpse of the monochromatic photo again.
Then he was stunned—
The picture of young Hongming shows a pair of eyebrows that look so familiar.
Quite similar.
It’s very similar.
Why didn’t he notice it before?
He rushed to grab the photo so he could look at it more closely, but he dropped it in his hurry. It landed on the floor and was flipped over. In the faint light of the moon, He An saw a line of bold writing:
Zheng Hongming + Yan Ning, Teaching Pavilion, Yuanjiang University ××××.
✕✕✕
Translated and edited by janemoyu (05/14/24)
