After reading those words, Tao Ling didn’t move. Wen Qingying seemed to understand his meaning, and slowly withdrew his hand and turned off the phone.
After a while, Tao Ling looked up and saw Wen Qingying’s sincere expression. The unspeakable feeling of suffocation surged up again.
Fearing that his mood would turn any stranger, he smiled and typed: “I won’t go tomorrow. There’s a paper due, but I haven’t revised it yet. I need to take advantage of these couple days.”
Getting a reply, Wen Qingying curled up the corners of his mouth and nodded.
Tao Ling entered the community, and his bad mood didn’t go away even after he went upstairs. He kicked off his shoes and walked into the house. He suddenly felt extremely tired.
There was something depressing, like a silk thread, wrapped around him, and even his breathing became heavy. He felt like he was floating in the water, unable to step on the ground or reach out for oxygen.
He hadn’t felt like this for a long time.
So tired that he didn’t want to take a shower, Tao Ling leaned on the sofa, staring at the hoary stocks in the basin that were withered to the extreme. He didn’t know when he fell asleep.
He woke up at three o’clock in the middle of the night, took a shower, and was energetic until dawn.
In the early morning, Tao Ling got up from the chair in the study, stretched, and prepared to make coffee.
He walked to the window, opened the curtains, and glanced at it casually. He saw a ray of light cutting through the chaotic sky, gray-blue below and white above.
The study was the room with the best lighting in the house. There was a small balcony outside the French window. When he got up early yesterday, he saw that it would be sunny, so Tao Ling put the Chinese roses on the balcony.
The late autumn wind came from afar, and the soft petals swayed. Tao Ling walked to the balcony, squatting down to observe the small pot of flowers, trying to find out why it bloomed so prosperously.
At this glance, he saw the sun jump out of the horizon, and the light sprinkled onto the building. It left a bright trace on the flower, like a veil that only served to enhance its beauty.
Tao Ling stretched out his hand, wanting to catch the light, and so there was a bright white ribbon in his palm.
After staring blankly for a while, he suddenly got up.
He had squatted for too long and felt dizzy for a while. After enduring the dizziness, Tao Ling immediately rushed to the bathroom to wash up.
When he went out, Tao Ling felt that he was going crazy. When he got on the subway, Tao Ling felt that he was definitely crazy. When he changed buses, Tao Ling felt that he was really, really losing it.
When he entered the cemetery, Tao Ling felt like he could belong in a psychiatric ward.
He walked up the steps, taking three steps at a time. The sun was high in the sky, and the sky was still clear. It wasn’t a special day, and the cemetery was extremely quiet.
Tao Ling unzipped his coat, his heart beating fast like a drum.
It wasn’t because he was tired.
Although the tombstone of Wen Qingying’s mother was slightly higher up, it was actually closer to the main road. Tao Ling hesitated for a moment, but followed his memory from last time and went to the back of the cypress bushes first.
Before he pushed the bushes aside, Tao Ling had expected there wouldn’t be such a coincidence, but when he saw that there was nothing in front of the tomb, his heart still dropped.
He let out a long breath, and as his heartbeat slowly stabilized, Tao Ling felt that he wasn’t only completely crazy, but also extremely ridiculous.
Wen Qingying had been here already, and a bunch of white Chinese roses with fresh petals were placed in front of the tombstone.
After a while of silence, Tao Ling stepped forward and bowed.
After calming down a bit, he took a shortcut and walked down through the bushes, ready to see Tao Jun. When he stepped through the grass, he accidentally touched a cactus, and a bunch of black thorns stuck on his trouser legs.
Stepping on the flat path, he bent down to pick up the thorns. Just as he cleaned them up, a pair of feet suddenly appeared in his sight.
Tao Ling’s heart stagnated, and his index and middle fingers loosened, and the last thorn fell lightly. He stood up and saw Wen Qingying standing in front of him with clear eyes.
After quickly thinking about it a few times, Tao Ling confirmed that he shouldn’t have been seen when he came down, and a faint smile appeared on his face.
Seeing him smiling, Wen Qingying approached, smiled, and asked with his phone: “Why did you come here suddenly, sir?”
Tao Ling suppressed his heartbeat, took out his phone, and replied: “I went to bed late last night and did my work. I thought there was nothing to do in the morning, so I came here.”
After Wen Qingying finished reading the words, he wrote again: “What a coincidence, so you got up early. I thought you had already left.”
Wen Qingying showed his little tiger teeth, but did not continue to communicate with him, instead turning sideways and letting him go past.
The road was narrow. Tao Ling nodded, passed in front of him, shoulder close to chest, and he was almost able to feel the instant collision of bodily warmth.
After walking a few steps, Tao Ling saw a bunch of flowers in front of Tao Jun’s tomb, also white Chinese roses. The outermost petals were slightly green, dyeing the late autumn with the taste of summer morning.
He looked back. Wen Qingying’s expression was extremely calm, as if it were natural to bring a bunch of flowers to Tao Jun, and it wasn’t worth mentioning to Tao Ling.
After standing silently in front of the tomb for a while, Tao Ling squatted down, gently touched the petals, and touched the tombstone again.
Tao Jun, what should I do?
He had a blank expression on his face, but his heart churned back and forth several times, and finally returned to silence.
But this was just like what Wen Qingying had said about tradition, because the waves had been turbulent, and the current calm was calm, but it was no longer the previous calm.
When they got up, the sun was high, and the two walked out together. The wind blew, and the weather was so comfortable that people wanted to close their eyes.
Wen Qingying did not propose to go to Shengnu Township as last time, and he did not even ask Tao Ling what he planned to do, but just walked with him, as if going anywhere would be fine.
Although Tao Ling would never take him to any unexpected places.
Finally, he got on the bus and transferred to the subway. Tao Ling was in a trance all the way. When they arrived at the door of the flower shop and stood on the side of the road, Tao Ling asked: “Are you going to open the shop?”
Wen Qingying lowered his head to type, and replied: “Sir, do you want to have lunch together?”
After thinking for a while, Tao Ling gently gritted his teeth and asked: “You’re not going to have lunch with your girlfriend?”
After reading this, Wen Qingying blinked in surprise. After glancing at Tao Ling, he wrote: “But I don’t have a girlfriend.”
He answered honestly. Tao Ling observed his expression and thought that he either didn’t lie or was too used to lying.
Between the two, Tao Ling almost immediately chose the former.
But he remembered the photos he had seen on the forum. He wanted to ask but didn’t know where to start. If he really asked, he would become a voyeur.
Before he could think about it, Wen Qingying’s phone came again: “Sir? I have a few more questions for you. Can I have dinner with you?”
The sycamore tree above his head had withered leaves and looked very bleak, but when the bright sunshine shone on it, it suddenly showed a kind of heroic tenderness.
Just like Wen Qingying.
After a long yet short moment of hesitation, Tao Ling wrote a sentence: “I’m free for the whole weekend.”
In the previous class, he discussed the spirit medium group in medieval Taoism. After dinner, the two of them returned to the flower shop. Wen Qingying closed the rolled-up door and turned on the lights, then took out his notebook with several targeted questions listed on it.
After reading what he thought, Tao Ling began to type on his mobile phone notepad: “The concept of ‘personal religion’ is actually not contradictory to religious groups. Taoist sects are accustomed to using the same expression method, and when Taoists form groups, they rely heavily on religious experience.”
Here, he turned his head to look at Wen Qingying. Wen Qingying showed an expression of sudden enlightenment, moved closer, and took out his mobile phone to answer: “I understand. Religious experience unites Taoists. There is a core in the group, that is, the medium. The medium is the recipient of religious experience in the process of creating a sect.”
Tao Ling smiled: “Yes, this is the issue of acceptance in religious experience.”
“Martin Buber’s research shows that the biggest difference between religion and witchcraft is that religion tries to establish a ‘Me-you’ relationship between people and gods, and the core of the relationship is ‘encounters of personality’.”
Looking up again, he happened to find Wen Qingying looking at him with burning eyes. Tao Ling’s heart skipped a beat as he asked: “What is it?”
This sentence was spoken, but Wen Qingying received his meaning effortlessly.
Wen Qingying pursed his lips and typed a few lines: “Sir, if one person wants to establish this kind of personal relationship with another person, does this count as the creation of a religion between the two people?”
TL: sorry about the delayed update ;-; it’s once again the time for me to die to my classes so the updates might get irregular again. Thanks for bearing with me :’)
