Translator: Lynn
The moment he shook off his hand, Zhu Ling’s face completely changed.
His eyes were slightly red, a mix of disbelief, anger, and a faint sense of hurt, yet he stubbornly pulled up the corners of his mouth.
“So, Brother Kai, am I now just a germ to you, that even a touch would be toxic?”
Isn’t it toxic, though? If Weidu saw this, the dose would be enough to be fatal.
If Weidu…… Ji Kai was stunned.
Although he had always had a general sense of it, never had it been as clear as at this moment—
The person before him was once a young man with a guitar, whose singing could be deeply moving. A frown, a bouquet of flowers, and a word can completely soften his heart like cotton and make him incredibly happy. Even the sparkling powder that seemed to come from nowhere could make him laugh and clap for ages.
Now, not only is his eyes red like this, but even if he were to sob uncontrollably in front of him, it probably wouldn’t stir any feeling within him anymore.
Looking at him, his mind was full of only thinking about his own silly little puppet, feeling soft inside.
…… Zhu Ling, I don’t love you anymore.
Finally, I can be sure that I really don’t love you anymore.
With a long sigh of relief, Ji Kai’s eyes were dyed with a little light, and his handsome face even softened.
When they first separated, his mind was full of his accident, being hit by a car. He once thought that completely forgetting him would happen a long, long time later.
So much so, that there is always a vague sense of unease.
Even if he was gently taken care of by Li Weidu, and gradually fell in love with him, enjoying the novelty, sweetness, and happiness at the same time, he did not forget to try his best to seal and wrap up everything from the past in a box and threw it in the corner of his heart, never daring to take a glance at it again.
He always feels that there is a time bomb in there, and it is better not to open it for the rest of his life.
Because he used to like him so much.
On the day of the playground, tears fell inexplicably, and afterward, he had to force himself to act like nothing happened. In reality, he was terrified inside—was he still harboring feelings for him? If that were the case, it would be awful; how could he face anyone?
Until today.
All the confusion has finally settled.
The lines were cut, the gunpowder emptied, and that bomb would never hurt again.
His whole heart was already full of the little puppet holding the baby bear.
“…… You, have you slept with him already?”
Out of the blue, a single sentence abruptly extinguished the tiny spark of emotion that had just risen. Ji Kai was stunned: What else could it be? We’ve been divorced for six months. Am I supposed to remain celibate like a chastity advocate while I’m still in the prime of my life?
The body was suddenly pressed hard, and the whole back was pressed against the red wine shelf. Zhu Ling’s face was very close, and his fierce eyes were red like a vampire.
“Ji Kai, do you know? Ever since I returned from South America, I’ve been searching for you everywhere!!”
“I was blocked by you, so I waited downstairs at your home, standing under those flickering street lamps for countless nights! It was so cold, I was frozen stiff, blowing on my hands while telling myself that all of this was punishment for my mistakes!”
“For the past six months, I’ve been regretting every day, lamenting why I went to South America. I wish time could rewind, so I could have stayed by your side, watched over you, and clung to you! Every time I saw a happy family of three, I couldn’t help but think about how happy the three of us—me, you, and Xiao Yan—used to be!”
“But you? How big-hearted you are!”
“When I was missing you so badly I thought I might die, when I nearly lost my life in the South American terror attack, what about you? You were holding someone else’s hand and being happy! When I couldn’t eat or sleep and was forced to go to the hospital for nutrient injections, what were you doing? You were eating his food and being intimate with him!”
“Why him? You knew I hated him the most, so why him? Or is it that you two were already… Ji Kai, tell me honestly, when did you and he get together?”
“We divorced because you unilaterally decided and forced me to. You never considered giving me another chance! That day he even came by. Tell me honestly, did you make me leave for him?”
“I don’t believe it. If it weren’t for him, how could our many years of feelings just disappear so easily? Why have you never considered reconciliation, never thought of forgiving me?!”
……
Ji Kai, from being stunned and dazed, finally listened to Zhu Ling’s outburst, the one filled with anger.
Really, maybe some people only realize after losing something—how they should have cherished it back then!
How we broke up, the reasons for it, don’t you have a scale in your heart? Aren’t you more clear about what happened than anyone else? It’s not like you have amnesia; are you choosing to selectively forget?
“Zhu Ling, you really… haven’t changed at all.”
Still playing the victim, twisting the facts, and blaming others—all exactly the same as before. But this won’t work anymore. Have you ignored all those online comments criticizing you for always following the same old routine?
“I originally wanted to spare you some face regarding the past. Must I bring it up and lay it all out on the table again?”
His voice remained low, as it was still a public place like a supermarket. Ji Kai didn’t want to attract unwanted attention. But the full aura, filled with anger with a sneering vitality, had completely shocked Zhu Ling on the spot.
While his blood boiled with rage, there was also a hint of sadness.
…From the past until now, I could have confronted you harshly.
I just couldn’t bring myself to do it during the divorce. And the last time, it was too painful.
But why should I be the one to suffer? I didn’t make any mistakes. After five years together, I have no regrets about how I treated you. Why should you still disrupt my life and slander me so brazenly, even after we’ve separated?
Zhu Ling, we were together for a long time. I know you very well and understand exactly how to hurt you most.
I used to want to give you some consideration because we loved each other.
No more. Not being cruel to you is being cruel to myself and to the person I love now, so—
“Do you think that forgiving you is something I should just naturally do?”
“Regardless of what you’ve done, who you’ve been close to, I should be broad-minded, wait for you to come home, and unconditionally tolerate and understand everything? Haha, well, what is there that can’t be forgiven? Why are we divorced, isn’t it just a play?”
“Isn’t it just about you buying a ring for someone else? Isn’t it just because you slept with someone else? Isn’t it just about you lying to me twice?”
“And on a broader scale, the world is so big—these are just minor issues, right? Just murder and arson, just criminal acts, just exterminating someone’s entire clan. Why be so narrow-minded? Just forgive everything!”
“But if we follow this logic, doesn’t that just mean we’ve gotten divorced?”
“Part ways and find happiness separately; mutual understanding should be enough, right? Why must you still be entangled and come looking for me? Moreover, even if I did end up with Weidu, according to the logic of ‘you must forgive me,’ shouldn’t you be tolerant and wish me well?”
His deep voice carried a dangerous masculine presence that pressed directly against Zhu Ling’s face. Ji Kai did not push him, but Zhu Ling swayed as if he could barely stand, almost knocking down the cans on the shelf behind him.
……
“Really, don’t come looking for me anymore. I don’t want Wei Du to misunderstand.”
“Or is it that you’re very interested in my relationship with him, wanting to hear firsthand what he has that you don’t, and why I like him?”
Zhu Ling felt that the person before him and the entire world seemed alien. He felt like a fish on a chopping board, lacking water, while this man, who used to hold his hand and cuddle him, was now wielding a knife, slicing his flesh effortlessly, piece by piece.
He didn’t want to listen, but couldn’t move. His legs felt like they were filled with lead, his mind was buzzing, as if the area around him had been bombarded and left barren.
“Because he never lies to me or hides his true feelings. He says exactly what he means.”
“Although he comes from a wealthy background, he knows how to manage a home and is considerate of others. Being with him, I never have to guess or worry. His temper is good, and every day is comfortable and not mentally exhausting.”
“Even though he’s busy with work, he always thinks to send me messages, keeping me updated so I don’t worry. Even if he works late on holidays, he’ll try his best to come home to be with me.”
“He always leaves me the boneless part of the fish, lets me take the first sip of the drinks, peels pine nuts, and cracks walnuts for me. If I bite into something I don’t like, he will unhesitatingly eat it for me.”
……
“Actually, I used to think that being with the person I liked was already a great fortune in itself. If I had higher expectations, it would be greedy.”
“So, I never dared to hope that you would treat me any better. During those years together, I was always flattered when you remembered the little things about me; and at other times, when promises were left unfulfilled or forgotten after a while, I didn’t think much of it.”
“I thought life was like that, and marriage was like that—unyielding, no matter how hard we tried, it always felt pale and realistic.”
“Until I was with him… I saw a different world.”
“He’s very good at taking care of people, and he takes promises seriously. He never forgets what he has promised. This makes me confident in him and in our relationship, believing that continuing with him is no problem at all. Even if we face challenges, we will surely overcome them together.”
“I’m working hard now, hoping to marry him in the future. I also hope you find your own happiness and stop disturbing our lives. That’s it.”
“……”
Li Weidu stood behind the shelves, feeling flushed. He had just happened to come around here and then discovered those two. He wasn’t sure whether to leave or stay, so he ended up eavesdropping on the entire conversation from behind the shelves.
Is this… like being proposed to from afar?
But I’d rather be the one proposing! This shouldn’t just be idle talk, right?
“Br, brother Kai…”
With a single “Brother Kai,” Li Weidu was abruptly jolted out of his dazed, pink-tinged state, feeling a rush of thoughts. The actor Zhu Ling, known for his career in the music industry, had a voice that trembled like a young boy’s when it softened.
He began to cry softly, the previous strength completely gone. Zhu Ling’s vulnerable and pitiful appearance always attracted sympathy—whenever he played such roles in TV dramas, countless fans would cry out in empathy.
“Don’t touch him.”
He threw aside the empty shopping basket and hugged his baby bear. “Didn’t your parents teach you when you were young? Don’t touch or handle other people’s things casually!”
Please let me know if there are typos/mistakes in the chapter.