ASPWWD Chapter 40

“That was in the past,” Wen Xia said, resting his chin on his hand as he flipped through the menu. “Now, it’s not so bad.”

Eight years had passed, and people were bound to change.

Although since reuniting with Lin Fengqi, Wen Xia felt that he hadn’t changed much. His personality remained much the same—reserved, disciplined, and not very talkative. But Wen Xia noticed differences in how Lin Fengqi handled things compared to before. In high school, Lin Fengqi rejected people outright, without leaving any room for negotiation. Sometimes, his bluntness could be quite hurtful.

But the current Lin Fengqi… Wen Xia hadn’t seen him in a business setting, but he had witnessed him mingling at Fang Lianshu’s birthday banquet and had observed him after a few drinks at social gatherings.

He had learned how to navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships.

If not for this skill, it wouldn’t have been possible for Fenghang to thrive on technical prowess alone.

Whenever Wen Xia thought about this, it felt a bit strange.

Each of them had a glass of lemon water, and just as Wen Xia finished his, Zhou Yixian arrived.

“You two are really early,” Zhou Yixian said as he sat down across from them.

Originally, Lin Fengqi and Wen Xia had been sitting across from each other. But as soon as Zhou Yixian entered, Lin Fengqi switched seats. The table wasn’t very big, so when Wen Xia scooted further in, their shoulders and arms brushed against each other.

Wen Xia handed the menu over. “Zhou Shixiong, you order first.”

Zhou Yixian didn’t hesitate, selecting a few items before handing the menu back.

Wen Xia placed it between himself and Lin Fengqi so they could look at it together.

Zhou Yixian couldn’t help but tease, “You two look like a couple of students sharing a textbook because one of you forgot to bring yours.”

Wen Xia paused, glancing up at Lin Fengqi, only to find him also looking back.

This had actually happened once in high school.

At their school, first and second-year students weren’t required to live on campus—they could commute if they preferred. Only third-year students were required to stay in the dorms. Wen Xia opted to commute because he found home much more comfortable. Lin Fengqi, on the other hand, commuted to avoid the extra expense of dorm fees and because he needed to be home after school to help out his family.

In such a situation, it just so happened that they both forgot their textbooks on the same day.

What’s more, they forgot different books—Wen Xia forgot his chemistry textbook, while Lin Fengqi forgot his language arts book. And it just so happened that they were seated together, and the language arts and chemistry classes were back-to-back that day.

During language arts, Wen Xia didn’t notice at first, but five minutes into the class, he realized that Lin Fengqi didn’t have his book. They were studying a new classical Chinese text, and Lin Fengqi was taking notes in a separate notebook, so he hadn’t noticed either. When Wen Xia realized, he tapped Lin Fengqi with his pen.

Lin Fengqi turned to look at him. Without a word, Wen Xia slid his textbook to the middle of the desk.

After a brief hesitation, Wen Xia felt Lin Fengqi lean slightly closer, barely brushing against him as they shared the book.

When the bell rang for the next class, Wen Xia nudged Lin Fengqi again with his pen. “Hey, desk mate, I didn’t bring my book either. Mind if we share again?”

Lin Fengqi didn’t say anything but moved his book to the center of the desk.

Back then, Wen Xia thought to himself, Does he really dislike this so much?

But now, looking back, it probably wasn’t reluctance.

•

After a while, their hot skewers arrived.

Zhou Yixian was a talkative person, and with someone like him around, the conversation never dried up. Wen Xia, with his outgoing personality, was mostly engaged in conversation with Zhou Yixian, while Lin Fengqi only chimed in when directly addressed.

Wen Xia couldn’t help but ask, “Zhou Shixiong, do you two eat together often?”

Zhou Yixian replied, “Whenever we have time, we get together. But I’ve been quite busy this past half-year, so we haven’t met up much. The last time was about two months ago when he visited the sanatorium to check on things, still debating whether to settle Auntie there.”

“You two must be the kind who sit down, eat quickly, and leave right after,” Wen Xia observed.

Zhou Yixian blinked, then glanced at Lin Fengqi, who had barely said a word, before bursting into laughter. He shook his head in mock despair. “You’ve got that right. This guy’s like a wind-up toy. Turn him on, and he’ll move just enough to eat. Stop winding, and he freezes.”

Both he and Wen Xia burst out laughing.

Leaving Lin Fengqi to silently chew on his skewer.

As they were finishing up, Wen Xia asked if they should order more food. Zhou Yixian said they had enough, and soon after, Lin Fengqi quietly stood up and walked away. Usually, that meant he was going to pay the bill.

After he left, Zhou Yixian wiped his hands with a napkin and looked at Wen Xia with a smile. “I’ve been curious about you for a long time. I never expected to meet you today.”

Wen Xia recalled the look Zhou Yixian gave him after he introduced himself at the sanatorium. “Shixiong, you know about me?”

“Yeah.”

“Did Lin Fengqi mention me?”

“Not exactly,” Zhou Yixian replied. “Back in his third year, something major happened in his family. I’m not sure if you know…”

“Are you talking about his father passing away?” Wen Xia had heard about it. Some of their classmates had gone to the same university as Lin Fengqi, and news about him often filtered through them.

Later, Lin Fengqi had mentioned it when he proposed, though he only briefly touched on it without going into detail.

Zhou Yixian nodded. “At the time, I had him in charge of a significant project. His father passed away suddenly due to a heart attack. He took some time off to handle the funeral arrangements and to be with his mother. Can you imagine? Despite such a heavy blow, he came back and completed everything I’d assigned him, down to the last detail. The project ended up being a great success, largely thanks to him.

“I remember thinking, this junior really has an incredibly strong heart.”

Wen Xia couldn’t help but interject, “He… isn’t like that.”

Wen Xia used to think Lin Fengqi was naturally cold-hearted, seemingly unshakable.

But he wasn’t. Lin Fengqi was just used to keeping everything bottled up inside, processing it on his own, sometimes without even leaving much trace in his journal.

Zhou Yixian looked at him deeply and nodded. “Yeah, he’s not like that.”

Zhou Yixian had only realized this later on.

After the project was completed, he organized a team-building event, treating everyone involved to a full day of fun, from dawn until dusk, as a reward. Although Lin Fengqi didn’t seem to fit in with the group, he never refused to participate in such activities.

The final event of the day was at a karaoke bar, where they sang until nearly dawn, leaving most of the team drunk and sprawled out.

Zhou Yixian had paced himself throughout the day, drinking little to stay sober and handle the aftermath. He instinctively went to find Lin Fengqi for help—his reliable junior who never lost control at any drinking event. But that time, when Zhou Yixian called for Lin Fengqi, he found him drunk.

Lin Fengqi was slumped on the sofa, still holding a half-full glass. When Zhou Yixian called out to him, Lin Fengqi finished the drink and tried to stand up.

But as he rose, he swayed, his steps unsteady as if he were walking on clouds. He stumbled after only two steps and would have fallen if Zhou Yixian hadn’t quickly caught him.

Zhou Yixian was startled by the strong smell of alcohol. “My god, how much did you drink?”

Lin Fengqi mumbled something incoherent. Zhou Yixian asked him to repeat it, leaning closer. “What did you say?”

“Phone…” came the fragmented response. “Give me… my phone…”

“Alright, alright, just sit down for a bit.”

Lin Fengqi was thoroughly inebriated. Zhou Yixian managed to get him back onto the sofa, where he immediately slumped like a boneless puppet.

Some people had carelessly left their phones on the table, so Zhou Yixian spent a while searching for Lin Fengqi’s. In the end, he had to dial Lin Fengqi’s number to locate it in his pocket.

Hearing the familiar ringtone, Lin Fengqi fumbled to retrieve his phone. Zhou Yixian had already ended the call and poured a glass of water, intending to help him sober up a bit.

Lin Fengqi lay on the sofa, the dim lighting of the karaoke room contrasting sharply with the sudden brightness of his phone screen, making him squint. As Zhou Yixian approached to hand him the water, he overheard Lin Fengqi mumble, “Why is it Zhou Shixiong’s call…”

Zhou Yixian joked, “What, am I that disappointing?”

Lin Fengqi let out a muffled “Mm,” without a trace of hesitation.

Zhou Yixian couldn’t help but laugh, exasperated.

“I thought… it was his call,” Lin Fengqi murmured.

“His?”

“Mm, his… Wen Xia…”

That was the first time Zhou Yixian heard the name “Wen Xia,” and as the years passed, it would remain the only time.

“Wen Xia? Who’s that?” Zhou Yixian teased. “Your girlfriend?”

Lin Fengqi shook his head. “He’s not a girl.”

Zhou Yixian was slightly taken aback. Lin Fengqi rarely talked about his personal life, and when the group occasionally joked about relationships, they couldn’t help but mention him. With his outstanding qualities, he attracted admiration wherever he went, from both men and women. However, few dared to express their feelings openly, as he always seemed so distant, like an untouchable snow lotus on a mountaintop.

Yet, of the few people who had dared to confess to him, every single one had been male. This led Zhou Yixian and others to assume that Lin Fengqi wasn’t interested in the same sex.

But Zhou Yixian’s surprise only lasted for two seconds before Lin Fengqi, spurred on by the name “Wen Xia,” began to speak more freely.

“He’s… really good-looking. The best-looking guy I’ve ever seen. Especially when… he smiles.”

“He was my deskmate… We were deskmates for two years, never separated.”

“He loves lively places, loves talking to people. I love listening to him talk. He makes the world feel alive, not so dull and lifeless.”

“He…”

Lin Fengqi went on, rambling and sometimes slurring his words. But as he spoke, his expression softened, becoming something Zhou Yixian had never seen before—a tenderness as if the thick ice on a snow-capped mountain was melting, giving way to the first signs of spring.

As the conversation drifted, Lin Fengqi moved from talking about Wen Xia to speaking about his late father. It was then that Zhou Yixian truly felt the immense grief Lin Fengqi had been suppressing—the pain of losing a loved one. It wasn’t that he wasn’t affected, nor that he had an exceptionally strong heart; he simply compressed all his emotions, hiding them deep inside.

Gradually, Lin Fengqi’s voice grew hoarse, whether from talking too much or from the weight of the emotions caught in his throat.

He paused and called out, “Zhou Shixiong.”

Zhou Yixian responded, “I’m here. What’s up?”

“I want to see him.”

“Who?” Drunk people often spoke in fragments, and it took Zhou Yixian a moment to connect the dots before he cautiously repeated the name, “Wen Xia?”

“Mm.”

Zhou Yixian was momentarily at a loss for words. He didn’t know Wen Xia, so he could only try to comfort the drunken Lin Fengqi. “Alright, I’ll take you to see him. But first, get up and drink this water.”

But Lin Fengqi didn’t move, shaking his head. “No need.”

“Hmm?”

“He won’t want to see me…”

“Why?”

Lin Fengqi unlocked his phone, only to lock it again, the sound of the lock screen clicking off like the ticking of a clock—relentless, never stopping for anyone.

“Because I made him angry.”

As the screen lit up once more, Zhou Yixian glimpsed Lin Fengqi’s slightly reddened eyes in the brief light.

Just two seconds later, the light faded, and this time, it didn’t come back on.

Lin Fengqi closed his eyes.

“I like him…” His voice was faint, drifting on the haze of alcohol, as uncertain as dust in the wind, “But I’m not good enough. Standing beside him, I would only sully him.”

Liking someone isn’t always a joyful thing. It’s like drinking lemon water—sweet and sour, with a slight bitterness lingering at the end.

Wen Xia’s love for Lin Fengqi was just like that, and so was Lin Fengqi’s love for Wen Xia.

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