ASPWWD Chapter 72

Wen Xia thought that he really should have recorded that line to play it back for his seventeen-year-old self.

Quickly, the diary moved past the middle school years and back into high school. The familiar handwriting jumped out at him, and although not much time had passed since he last read it, Wen Xia couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia, like he was meeting an old friend.

“This is where I started reading last time,” Wen Xia pointed out in the diary. “If I hadn’t read it, I would have never known you liked me.”

Lin Fengqi didn’t say anything; he just held Wen Xia a little tighter.

Wen Xia wasn’t saying this to blame him for anything; he just wanted to share, “So, I’m actually quite grateful to Ah Mou.”

Lin Fengqi looked puzzled.

“If Ah Mou hadn’t messed up your room that day, I would never have found this diary.”

Lin Fengqi thought for a moment, then shook his head. “It’s because you’re too good.”

“Hmm?”

“If you hadn’t helped me clean up, you wouldn’t have seen the diary.”

Wen Xia looked at him for a couple of seconds, blinking, and then suddenly burst out laughing. “We’re both so childish.”

If they had to argue about who deserved credit, they might as well trace it back to the day they were born. After all, if there had been no Wen Xia or Lin Fengqi in the world, there wouldn’t be these stories.

Wen Xia laughed as he continued reading. Even though it was the second time he was going through the high school portion, it was different now that the person involved was sitting right beside him. Occasionally, Wen Xia would mischievously ask Lin Fengqi for more details about his thoughts at the time, partly out of a desire to tease him.

But Lin Fengqi indulged him without hesitation.

Diary entries have a sense of immediacy, and the emotions recorded within them are just as fleeting. What once felt like the sky was falling now seemed trivial in hindsight. Lin Fengqi had never really looked back at his old diaries; although he kept them all, he didn’t see much point in revisiting the past.

Probably because there wasn’t much worth revisiting.

Now, with Wen Xia by his side, they retraced those dusty memories together, finding moments of humor and poignancy, but mostly a sense of closure.

Life is full of regrets, and it’s rare to truly come to terms with them. Most are simply left behind as time passes. That’s not reconciliation—it’s merely a forced forgetfulness.

20xx, Month X, Day X, Light Rain

Found a stray kitten in the bushes with a broken leg. It looks pitiful. It doesn’t seem like an accident; I wonder if someone did this.

Bought it a hot dog and made a simple shelter for it. I hope it survives the night.

Wen Xia’s fingers traced this entry and the ones that followed, marking the sequence of entries where, unknowingly, both he and Lin Fengqi, at different times and in different ways, had saved the same injured kitten.

“Do you remember this kitten with the broken leg?” Wen Xia asked.

Lin Fengqi nodded.

“I later visited the pet hospital and got in touch with the person who adopted it. We’ve kept in touch all these years,” Wen Xia said. “The kitten has been doing really well in its new home. It’s now eleven years old, still in great health, with a huge appetite. Even though it’s a bit of a limper, it doesn’t stop it from running and jumping around. The woman who adopted it has also moved from a small rental to a large house and has since adopted another cat and a dog. Her home is bustling now.”

Lin Fengqi listened, his expression softening. “That’s good.”

Wen Xia asked him, “Do you want to go see it someday?”

“Can we?”

“Of course we can,” Wen Xia smiled. “Sister Yao even asked me about it before, but I thought it was enough to know the kitten was doing well. I didn’t want to intrude.”

Sister Yao was the woman who had adopted the kitten. Back then, Wen Xia and Lin Fengqi were just a couple of kids, while she was already a college graduate, six years older than them.

“And now… you think it’s necessary?” Lin Fengqi asked.

Wen Xia nodded. “Definitely. I want to go and thank it properly, for helping you notice me.”

As they talked, Lin Fengqi suddenly remembered something and asked, “And you? What about you?”

“Me?”

Lin Fengqi pointed to the date on the diary page. “This is when I started liking you. What about you? Why did you… like me?” His voice trailed off, tinged with a hint of nervous anticipation.

Wen Xia realized that he knew exactly how Lin Fengqi had come to notice him and how his feelings had developed, but he had never told Lin Fengqi why he had fallen for him.

Lin Fengqi had never asked, simply accepting everything Wen Xia gave him without question.

“Do you remember the midterm exams during the first semester of our first year in high school? I accidentally stepped on your foot in the hallway.” Wen Xia flipped through the diary to that entry—

20xx, November X, Sunny

Went to check the rankings today and ran into Wen Xia. He stepped on my foot, but it didn’t hurt. He apologized. “Sorry” was the first word he said to me. Worth remembering.

…

…

Lin Fengqi stared at the few lines he had written, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“I remember.” He nodded.

Anything related to Wen Xia was impossible for him to forget. He had spotted Wen Xia from the edge of the crowd and had squeezed his way in, just to be closer to him. He hadn’t expected to get stepped on in the process.

“Maybe it started then. When I saw you, my heart almost stopped,” Wen Xia said, looking at him. “You have no idea how special you were.”

Wen Xia wasn’t sure when he had fallen for Lin Fengqi.

That brief glimpse of him in the crowded hallway had never struck him as love at first sight, but if it wasn’t, then why had he been so drawn to him afterward?

And in the same way, Lin Fengqi had been captivated by him.

Perhaps that’s how it is when young hearts fall in love.

Maybe it’s a fleeting rain shower, a passing silhouette, a simple exchange, or a fleeting smile… or just an accidental glance. They hadn’t done anything particularly out of the ordinary when they caught each other’s eye, but at that moment, they became special to each other. The feeling was sudden, yet so pure.

And because of that, it became unforgettable.

Lin Fengqi asked softly, “And later, when you transferred into Class A, was that also because of me?”

Wen Xia replied, “Not entirely because of you, but you were definitely part of the reason.”

As they reached the final pages of the high school entries, Wen Xia finally came across the point where he had stopped reading last time—

20xx, Month X, Day X, Sunny

Touched hands with Wen Xia again today. I can’t let him keep touching me like this. My heart can’t take it. I’ll die.

Is there any way to make him less cute?

Wen Xia clicked his tongue twice. “Just touching hands, and you couldn’t handle it?”

Lin Fengqi: “…”

Holding Wen Xia, Lin Fengqi murmured, almost inaudibly, “That’s because…”

“Because what?”

“I was… young.”

“Is that so?”

Wen Xia suddenly bent down, pressing his ear against Lin Fengqi’s chest.

After a couple of seconds, he sat up with a wicked grin. “You’re not doing much better now, classmate. Why is your heart still racing?”

Lin Fengqi blushed slightly, staring at him for a moment before suddenly leaning in to kiss him.

The kiss caught Wen Xia off guard, and he instinctively leaned back, only to have Lin Fengqi hold him firmly in place. His breath was stolen away as Lin Fengqi deepened the kiss, dominating his senses.

As their skin met the cool air, Lin Fengqi’s warm touch quickly followed, sliding along Wen Xia’s waistline with a rough yet gentle caress. Wen Xia felt his body go limp, clutching Lin Fengqi’s arm as a muffled whimper escaped his lips, swallowed up by Lin Fengqi’s relentless kisses.

When they finally broke apart, Wen Xia leaned back against the headboard, panting to catch his breath. But Lin Fengqi didn’t give him a chance to recover; he pressed his ear to Wen Xia’s chest, just as Wen Xia had done to him earlier. A few seconds later, he looked up, his deep eyes filled with a mix of lamplight and desire, his voice hoarse as he said, “Now we’re even.”

Wen Xia didn’t need Lin Fengqi to say it; he could hear his own heartbeat pounding loudly in his chest.

The diary had fallen to the floor during their exchange. After regaining his composure, Wen Xia picked it up and insisted on continuing to read.

As the diary approached the time of the college entrance exams, the entries became more spaced out. The last few entries had gaps of about a month between them, and they read like this—

20xx, June 8, Sunny

The college entrance exams are over. I think I did well.

We had a class dinner tonight, but Wen Xia didn’t go. Without him, nothing seemed as fun, so I left early.

Maybe today was the last time I’ll see him.

20xx, June 12, Overcast

Turns out that wasn’t the last time. Today’s graduation ceremony was.

After today, we won’t have any connection to each other anymore. It’s really sad.

I wish him all the best.

…But it’s still really sad. I don’t want to leave him. I wish I could see him every day from now on.

This was the second-to-last entry, and the final entry was written on the day Lin Fengqi received his college acceptance letter.

20xx, Month X, Day X, Sunny to Cloudy

The acceptance letter arrived today.

I heard from the class monitor that Wen Xia got into Z University. It’s a good school, but it’s far from the city I’ll be going to. That’s good. Maybe without me, he’ll be happier.

I hope Wen Xia’s future is bright and full of flowers.

Wen Xia traced the slightly indented words on the page with his fingers, murmuring, “Idiot.”

Lin Fengqi tightened his embrace, muttering into his shoulder, “Yeah, I’m an idiot.”

Wen Xia looked at the blank pages that followed. “You didn’t write anything after this?”

“Mm.”

The diary ended there, with several blank pages left. Lin Fengqi had bought the diary intending to record a long period of his life, but he hadn’t expected it to end here.

He had grown so used to writing about Wen Xia that when Wen Xia left his life, he found keeping a diary to be a dull and meaningless task. He had also been childish enough to not want to dilute the memories of Wen Xia with anything else.

“It’s such a nice diary. What a waste.” Wen Xia flipped a few more pages, but before he could turn another, Lin Fengqi suddenly took the diary from his hands.

As Wen Xia looked up in surprise, Lin Fengqi leaned in and bit him lightly, saying, “You’re with me now, so it’s not a waste.”

Since learning that Wen Xia had read his diary, Lin Fengqi had become a bit bolder, almost reckless.

It was as if, with nothing left to hide, there was nothing to fear.

As Wen Xia watched him put the diary away, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. But before he could dwell on it, Lin Fengqi was already out of bed with the diaries in hand. “You didn’t sleep well last night. Do you want to go to bed early tonight?”

Now that he mentioned it, Wen Xia did feel a bit sleepy.

He yawned and went to grab his pajamas. After showering, he found that Lin Fengqi was still in the other bathroom, so Wen Xia wandered around looking for his phone, eventually finding it on the dining table.

He hadn’t checked his phone all evening and saw several unread messages, including two from Gui Qu Lai—

[Wow, I’ve been busy the last couple of days and haven’t streamed. You’re amazing, flaunting your love life on your stream!]

[By the way, I had no idea that was your boyfriend. Or did you use his account to shower me with gifts?]

Wen Xia understood the first message, but the second one? Despite being composed of familiar characters, he couldn’t make sense of it.

Wen Xia replied: [What are you talking about?]

As he reached the bedroom door, Gui Qu Lai’s reply popped up: [Wasn’t that ‘Xiaxia is So Cute, What Should I Do’ account your boyfriend’s? He sent me gifts once. I thought your fans were really into shipping you two.]

Wen Xia: [??? When did he send you gifts?]

Gui Qu Lai: [?? That night you drank the fake wine? We streamed entertainment games together all night.]

Wen Xia was still trying to process this when Gui Qu Lai quickly sent another message to explain:

Gui Qu Lai: [!!!]

Gui Qu Lai: [Whoa, don’t get the wrong idea, Wen Xia! I have nothing to do with your boyfriend!]

But Wen Xia didn’t care about that at the moment. He frowned as he tried to recall the timing Gui Qu Lai mentioned, and he realized—

The timelines didn’t match.

The account’s appearance and Lin Fengqi’s claim of when he used it didn’t line up.

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