New Year, this thing, flowers are similar year after year. As for people who experience the passing of years, for Tang Cuo, this year is somewhat different.
Standing in the children’s clothing section of the department store, Tang Cuo hesitated while looking at a set of clothes. The last time he saw Wenying’s little niece was over half a year ago. He placed his hand beside his body and gestured uncertainty to the salesperson, “Probably… this tall?”
The salesperson smiled slightly, “Then this size should be suitable. If it doesn’t fit, you can always come back for an exchange.”
Tang Cuo and Wenying have known each other for many years, but they have never visited each other’s homes. However, a couple of days ago, while on the phone with Tang Xu, Tang Xu mentioned that he was going to Jiangyin the next day to visit his mentor.
Tang Cuo was lying on his bed, and after being quiet for a while, he asked, “Do we have to visit people who have been good to us during Chinese New Year?”
This question seemed naive—not something a college student would ask.
“People who have been kind to us should be visited regularly, not just during holidays. But during Chinese New Year, the atmosphere of reunion is warmer, and the affection is more lively. Moreover, people are busy nowadays and rarely have time to sit down and chat on normal days.”
Perhaps it has something to do with Tang Cuo coming to this family at the age of 13. Tang Cuo’s parents always treated him like a child and never demanded that he express gratitude to anyone in his personal capacity.
“Do you have anyone you want to visit? If you need help choosing a gift, I can assist.”
Tang Cuo curled his fingers and tapped the back of his phone. “Then I want to visit you.”
It was just a joking remark filled with sincerity, but it already made his heart flutter.
Tang Xu responded with a gentle and low chuckle, “I really want to visit you too. I’ll be back on the 28th; can you come pick me up?”
As it was a question, his tone rose at the end, teasing Tang Cuo’s throat. The words of longing churned and unfolded in his throat, but in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to say them out loud. He pursed his lips and said, “Sure.”
After hanging up the phone that night, Tang Cuo realised that he should also go visit Wen Ying.
Wen Ying was also somewhat surprised by Tang Cuo’s arrival. She smiled and looked at him sitting on the sofa, then got up and handed him a cup of honey water that had been stirred.
Tang Cuo took a sip of water, didn’t swallow it immediately, but held it in his mouth for two seconds to moisten his throat.
“Recently, you seem to be in a good mood. Are you happy with him?”
Everyone would occasionally ask obvious questions, sometimes to start a conversation, sometimes just to hear the answer from the other person’s mouth.
Before Tang Cuo could answer, Wen Ying already saw a glimmer of light in his eyes. It was something she had never seen before.
“Happy,” Tang Cuo gently placed the cup on the table, now with empty hands, feeling a bit awkward with his limbs, not knowing where to put them.
Wen Ying called her daughter, who was nearby, “Shengsheng, show the pillow you just bought to your brother.”
The little girl, who was called Shengsheng, jumped off the sofa and ran into the house, swinging her little skirt, and came back with a minion-themed pillow, which she stuffed into Tang Cuo’s arms.
“Brother, isn’t it cute?”
Tang Cuo held the yellow pillow with the big eyes on it, looking at it intently.
“Cute, cute. Thank you, Shengsheng.”
Perhaps because he had something soft in his arms and felt comforted, Tang Cuo found it surprisingly easy to talk about his recent state of mind. Finally, he asked Wen Ying, “Am I dating him?”
Wen Ying nodded. “Of course, why would you ask such a question?”
Tang Cuo tilted his head and looked at Sheng Sheng, who was playing with a Doraemon and Nobita puzzle on the sofa. It wasn’t a complicated puzzle; it was just a 16-piece puzzle with Doraemon and Nobita as the patterns.
“I feel like it’s not real, and I’m scared.”
Wen Ying kept paying attention to his expression and asked softly, “Scared of what?”
Tang Cuo remained silent for a while until he saw Sheng Sheng put the last puzzle piece in place. Then he shook his head, “I don’t know. Whenever I’m with him, I feel very happy but also scared. Maybe… I’m afraid that one day, my Doraemon will suddenly leave.”
Sheng Sheng suddenly looked up at him upon hearing his words, then grinned and proudly lifted her little nose, saying, “Brother, there is no Doraemon in real life. It’s only in cartoons, not real.”
Wen Ying laughed, “See, even kids know that. Si hang, nothing is a dream now. Tang Xu likes you, and you two are in a relationship.”
The day before Tang Xu returned, Beijing experienced heavy snowfall.
Never before had a snowfall made Tang Cuo so anxious. He spent the whole day nervously looking outside, praying for the snow to stop quickly and for the weather to be better tomorrow. By evening, his prayers seemed to have worked, as he finally felt a little more at ease.
The airport was still crowded with people. There were those who had just returned from a trip, those who had just resumed work and were about to leave on a business trip, and those like Tang Cuo who were waiting for someone.
Although he knew that airplanes have the lowest accident rate among all modes of transportation, Tang Cuo still felt anxious as he stood at the exit. Despite the low accident rate, the probability of accidents was still equivalent to the probability of death. He kept staring at the large screen displaying flight statuses until Tang Xu’s flight showed “Arrived”. Only then did his suspended heart finally settle.
Tang Cuo took a deep breath and stood on his toes, craning his neck to look inside the airport.
In fact, he was already standing at the very front with no one obstructing his view. But perhaps everyone does this when they are eagerly waiting to see someone, unconsciously adopting the most impatient posture, even if it means raising their gaze just one inch higher to catch a glimpse of their beloved over the heads of other incoming passengers.
It took Tang Cuo several tens of seconds to realize that Tang Xu was wearing that down jacket today.
“Happy New Year, kiddo.”
Despite the crowded place, Tang Xu’s embrace was confident and unrestrained. Then something was slipped into his pocket, and Tang Cuo lowered his head to see a bright red corner.
Using the gesture of raising his hand and patting Tang Cuo’s shoulder, Tang Xu touched his ear. “It’s our family’s tradition to give red envelopes to kids as the first meeting of the new year.”
Filled with the long-missed scent, Tang Cuo’s first words were, “But I’m not a kid.”
Tang Xu lowered his head slightly, his mouth close to Tang Cuo’s ear. “Pet name.”
Tang Xu didn’t say a lot of sweet words, but each one was poignant, even if it was just one or two words.
Tang Xu looked at the person beside him, who was lowering his head and chuckling with a curve at the corner of his mouth. Although their parting was less than a month ago, it felt like a year had passed. He had never missed someone so much on New Year’s Eve, wanting to put down his chopsticks and go back to his side, wanting to have a New Year’s Eve dinner with him, wanting to accompany him through the night, and wanting to watch the lights of Beijing together with him.
The moment he stepped into the airport lobby, he couldn’t help but notice him at first glance. This little kid was wearing a similar style of down jacket as him, stretching his body and looking around.
After finally hugging him in a crowded place with hurried steps, Tang Xu felt satisfied and at ease in his heart, but there was still a slight regret lingering in his mind—he really wanted to kiss him, even if it was just on the forehead.
Tang Cuo had taken the subway to come here, but they chose to take a taxi on their way back. After getting in the car, Tang Xu gave his home address.
Both of them sat in the back seat, just like they did in Harbin. Tang Xu secretly held Tang Cuo’s hand and held it all the way, chatting casually with each other. From the airport to Tang Xu’s place, they had to pass by the Xizhimen overpass, which was known as the ninth wonder of the world.
Tang Xu saw a road sign and suddenly said, “The first time I took you across this bridge, you asked me why we had to keep going in circles.”
Tang Xu’s words easily triggered his memory, and Tang Cuo looked out the window, thinking back to that scene.
“At that time, you were like a curious child, asking why about everything. I remember I was too lazy to explain things like ‘design’ and ‘traffic rules’, so I casually said that I wanted you to appreciate the scenery more.” Tang Xu paused for a moment and turned to look at him, asking, “Do you remember what you said back then?”
Tang Cuo glanced at the driver but didn’t say anything. He just nodded at him, his eyes avoiding Tang Xu’s gaze and looking somewhat evasive.
Tang Xu smiled lazily and placed his hand on Tang Cuo’s head. “I lied to you back then, but now I’ve decided to explain it to you properly.”
With Tang Xu’s hand adding a slight pressure to his head, Tang Cuo suppressed the words he wanted to blurt out.
Tang Xu began slowly explaining the route of the Xizhimen Bridge to him, unhurriedly, just like in a regular class. Tang Cuo listened attentively, occasionally chiming in with a comment or a smile. Even though he could easily give directions to an unfamiliar driver on this interchange now, in front of Tang Xu, he still wanted to pretend that he didn’t know anything.
After Tang Xu finished speaking, Tang Cuo clenched his teeth and said, “Although you lied to me, I didn’t lie to you.”
Tang Xu was momentarily stunned, but then burst into laughter and rubbed his head affectionately. “Thank you.”
Watching him laugh heartily, Tang Cuo also felt in a good mood. The eerie bridge was now behind them, and he turned to look back through the not-so-clean rear window, as if he could see the two people who had been in the car at that time.
Back then, he had said, “Really? Tang Xu, you’re the best person in the world.”
At that time, he hadn’t started to be reckless yet, and his relationship with Tang Xu was still an informal adoption. It’s only now that he truly realizes that a long time has passed and that the traces left by time are so clear. He has become someone who considers the consequences of things before acting, and the relationship between him and Tang Xu has changed many times. But no matter how time rushes forward or how he traverses the wilderness, the words he said back then will always remain true in his heart.
Not only those words but also the unspoken “I love you” is the eternal truth.
Anything related to eternity is bound to become a cliché. Tang Cuo welcomes this cliché, wishing that even when he grows old, he can still talk to himself, one sentence at a time.
