Chapter 48 – The Situation Has Come to This
Novel Title: 跨越千万星辰 (Across Thousands of Stars)
Author：御小凡 (Yu Xiaofan)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 泽田纲吉 (Sawada Tsunayoshi -MC), 六道骸 (Rokudo Mukuro -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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When Tsuna went to the parking lot to find Mukuro, the rather imposing BMW X3 was parked in the outermost spot. As Tsuna walked in that direction, he could see through the window that Mukuro was lost in thought.
It’s hard to say whether this was an accurate description since they were separated by some distance. The lighting in the underground parking lot wasn’t that great.
Only half of his face was visible, partially obscured by his bangs. His expression was slightly solemn. It was as if he was deeply contemplating something. Or perhaps he was struggling with some inner turmoil.
He was enveloped in a kind of gloom, like being able to remain silent indefinitely.
The gloomy and silent expression caused a slight pang in Tsuna’s heart. He walked briskly to the car and tapped on the window. It seemed like he was breaking some kind of trance and Mukuro turned his head. His expression immediately became vivid. He unlocked the car door.
As he opened the car door, Tsuna noticed that music was lingering inside. It was a tune he hadn’t heard before. It seemed to be from a music station. Set against the plucking of guitar strings, a female voice sang. Her voice wavering as if crying with the ending notes lingering and drawing one’s thoughts away.
She sang, occasionally modulating downward, her voice trembling and reaching into the heart.
‘How Long? How Long? How Long Must I Wait?’
Mukuro turned off the music and shifted into reverse, “How was work today?”
For some reason, Tsuna was momentarily lost for words before responding, “The board of directors relented.”
He didn’t mention his own involvement in the matter. Mukuro simply offered a congratulatory word, “Those old stubborn folks at least recognize sincerity when it comes to power.”
“What kind of description is that…” Tsuna couldn’t help but turn to look at him. Indeed, there was a faint hint of mockery on his face. However, these mocking expressions on him never seemed coarse or frivolous. Instead, they added a fascinating touch of arrogance to his demeanour.
Tsuna closed his eyes briefly, truly baffled by this person. His charisma was as pervasive as the fragrance he exuded. It seemed that anyone, regardless of gender, would be drawn to him.
In order to avoid delving into strange thoughts, Tsuna continued the conversation, “If I were to take over my father’s position, I’d have to go to Italy.”
“You’ve spent 4 years there, right? Will you still need time to adjust?”
Though that was indeed one of the issues, it wasn’t what Tsuna wanted to ask. He hesitated for a moment before answering, “Perhaps there’ll still be an adjustment period in the beginning. After all, I’ve lived here in Japan for so long. Things like food and lifestyle are different.”
Mukuro smiled, “Italy is already quite good. The UK is the really unbearable one.”
“You’ve been to the UK?” Tsuna couldn’t help asking again. He had never heard about this. Apart from the US and Brazil, where else has this person been?
“Two years ago, I stayed in London for half a year. Originally, my destination was Switzerland. But it was hard to make inroads in the banking industry there. So I shifted to the UK,” Mukuro’s tone contained a subtle displeasure. It was as if he was recalling something unpleasant, “The sky was overcast every day. Even the rain felt like it carried industrial waste. The weather matched their food perfectly.”
He was quite thorough in his disdain. Tsunayoshi started to wonder if the UK government had left Mukuro with some awful impression, given how strongly he disliked that supposedly gentlemanly country.
Yet this demeanour was somewhat cat-like – a flick of the tail and a twist of the head could convey its disdain. It seemed… rather cute?
Unable to hold it in, Tsuna burst into laughter. Mukuro cast a sidelong glance at him but remained silent.
“So, do you prefer staying in the US?”
Mukuro’s response seemed somewhat absentminded. He uttered a quiet “hmm” that could have been an agreement or simply acquiescence. Tsuna turned his head back, gazing into the rearview mirror as he pursed his lips into a smile.
“Muku.”
“Yeah?”
“That house. After I went to Italy, if you’re not going to live there anymore, you can just leave it there without dealing with it.” If nobody’s living in that house, it can’t really be considered a place to stay every time you come back. Tsuna isn’t used to having someone come and clean it periodically. Which means that every time he goes back after a while, he needs to clean it before he can live there. It’s more convenient to stay in a hotel.
But, he really can’t bring himself to let go of that house. There are so many memories in that place, whether they are personal memories or shared memories with Mukuro.
“I certainly can’t live there,” Mukuro’s calm and unruffled voice, as expected, made Tsuna feel a bit lost. Is he the only one who feels nostalgic for the past?
Just as this thought was beginning to form, the other person continued, “You’re not thinking about leaving me alone in Japan and running off to Italy, are you?”
Tsuna shifted uncomfortably and was yanked back by the seatbelt, which dug into his shoulders and made them ache. Although Mukuro was gazing ahead, he seemed to catch a glimpse of Tsuna’s dishevelled appearance from the corner of his eye and chuckled, “Did you even listen to what I said?”
He sighed after finishing his sentence.
Adjusting his seatbelt slightly, Tsuna turned his head towards the window. He didn’t want to discuss this topic with Mukuro. It was too ambiguous.
And too dangerous.
Mukuro had been clear with his thoughts last night. Since the deliberate trials they had spent so many years conducting hadn’t changed anything, he couldn’t find a reason to persuade Mukuro to give up.
So, Tsuna could only avoid the topic. At least this time, Mukuro seemed more mature upon their reunion. He wasn’t as aggressive and relentless as before. Perhaps they could continue to maintain this façade of peace.
He was mistaken about that.
The car entered the parking lot of the apartment building. Unlike Tsuna, Mukuro skillfully parked the car in a tight space. Tsuna unbuckled his seatbelt and waited for Mukuro to turn off the engine. He even had his hand on the door handle. But the automatic locks didn’t open.
Mukuro still had his hands on the steering wheel. The inside of the car was so quiet that one could almost hear a pin drop.
“Muku,” Tsuna closed his eyes as if giving up, leaning back against the seat and letting out a long sigh. “Please don’t be like this. You should know, you’re the person I’m closest to. Why are you so fixated on wanting an answer?”
Mukuro turned to the side, using one hand to support the passenger seat as he leaned over slowly. It wasn’t aggressive. Instead, it carried a hint of intimacy. “Perhaps it’s because I’m afraid of the future.”
He stared at Tsuna’s profile without blinking for a moment.
Such a contradiction – wanting to possess him, yet not wanting to hurt him.
“Afraid?” Tsuna’s voice still sounded weary as he kept his eyes closed. “Why are you afraid?”
“You know why,” Mukuro chuckled softly a few times. His gentle and blurred murmur sounded like a dreamy whisper. “You know why.”
Perhaps what was being sought wasn’t the identity of love, but a commitment. After all, what is love? Neither Tsuna nor Mukuro truly understood it.
“Can you tell me what you’re holding back for?” Mukuro’s fingers brushed against Tsuna’s hair. Just that and nothing more. The tips of his fingers traced a vague contour on the ends of his hair. “I don’t think you’re the type to cling to succession. And neither to Vongola. It’s proved by the fact that it transformed from a family business into a corporation. What you cling to is relying on the people under you. Don’t worry about that. Our relationship won’t affect them, I promise. Estraneo exists for this purpose.”
Indeed, Mukuro understood him well.
Certainly, he understood him. So how could he not understand his own child that he raised from the ground up? Perhaps he understood Tsuna better than Tsuna understood himself. Tsuna slowly sighed, unable to find the right words.
“As for the issue of heirs… Whether through adoption or surrogacy, as long as you want, as long as you’re willing, I can help you handle it well.”
Realising that he had even considered all of this, Tsuna’s desire to sigh even more grew stronger. But he wasn’t sure if it was for Mukuro’s sake or his own.
He felt a growing ache in his left chest. It was an ache accompanied by an indescribable sense of confusion. He faintly sensed that this child had set up a gentle trap and he was just waiting for him to fall into it.
“Or is it that you can’t accept me?”
No, that’s not it.
Tsuna suddenly opened his eyes, only to realise that Mukuro’s face was now very close to his own. So close that he almost thought the woody fragrance was emanating from his own body.
At this moment, Mukuro’s fingers finally made contact with his skin. In contrast to his delicate and refined appearance, Mukuro’s fingertips were slightly rough, covered by a thin layer of calluses. When they brushed against the skin beside his ear, the friction was particularly noticeable.
“Tsuna.” Their gazes slowly met, then gradually locked onto each other. Mukuro’s voice dropped so low that only the breathiness remained. Tsuna could almost only catch what he was saying from the movements of his lips.
—Can I kiss you?
Tsuna forgot to even blink his eyes.
Mukuro’s fingers traced along the contours of his ear and jawline and he slightly lifted his chin. The increasingly distinct woody fragrance engulfed Tsuna. It was as if he was being drawn into a lush dream.
Instinctively, he extended his hand. But as his palm came into contact with Mukuro’s chest, he stopped exerting force. He was merely resting it there. Mukuro halted his movement, allowing Tsuna to feel his own heartbeat beneath his palm.
Thump-thump, thump-thump.
He couldn’t tell if the sound came from the chest beneath his hand or from his own heart. It felt like something was about to burst forth from the depths of his chest, with such force.
Whose could this be?
The growing confusion cast a fog over his mind and his vision became hazy. But Mukuro didn’t let this confusion linger for too long. Sensing that Tsuna’s hand against his chest had relaxed, he tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips against Tsuna’s.
It was a soft contact. It was a gentle exploration – the kiss was at first brushing against the corners of their mouths soothingly before their breaths gradually merging together. Tentative and confirming. It was as if they were unwilling to deepen the connection, yet reluctant to part.
The place in his heart that had remained rigid slowly loosened during these successive moments of comfort. Tsuna, in this almost bittersweet tenderness, unexpectedly recalled the first time he had laid eyes on Mukuro.
He saw the small, tranquil face that belonged to him. It was oddly heartrending.
In the blink of an eye, that child had grown so much.
Then, within this soft and almost melancholic mood, he finally closed his eyes.
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*Author’s Note: The song mentioned in the text is ‘How Long Must I Wait’ by Catbird. The female voice is truly indescribable. Even I, who usually can’t appreciate jazz style, find it so beautiful that it brings tears to my eyes. I originally wanted to include it, but then I realised I don’t know how to embed music. -YXF
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*Translator’s Note: I included the song link below. -K
☝🏻Fanart of MukuroXTsuna
Song link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOmMThhw4gQ
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