Chapter 74: Opening Up
After bathing that evening, Qingyan leaned against the head of the bed, waiting. When the bed curtains were lifted, he immediately got up, asking Qiu Henian to sit by the bedside with his back turned, gently wiping his long hair.
Qiu Henian’s hair was different from his demeanor, appearing cold and tough outwardly, but his hair was soft and smooth. As Qingyan ran his fingers through it, it felt cool and comforting.
Qingyan had heard from his grandmother since childhood that people with soft hair often seemed cold on the outside but were actually warm-hearted and not easy to approach.
Once Qingyan had dried his hair sufficiently, he got off the bed, quickly washed both of their towels, and hung them to dry on the wall.
When he returned to bed, Qiu Henian had already found the book he wanted to read. Instead of sitting next to him, Qingyan crossed his legs and sat facing him.
Qiu Henian glanced at him, knowing there was something on his mind. He put down the book and crossed his legs as well. The two sat facing each other, eye to eye.
Qingyan took a deep breath and said, “Henian, there’s something I want to tell you.”
Qiu Henian looked at him, lips moving slightly, “Is it about your father?”
Qingyan was shocked. It dawned on him that his father hadn’t given up recently but had changed his approach.
Anxiously, he asked, “Did he come to see you?”
Qiu Henian nodded, “He wanted to return the betrothal gifts and asked me to send you back home to study and take the imperial examinations.”
Qingyan knelt up, asking, “How did you respond?”
Qiu Henian’s gaze, like a calm lake, began to ripple.
“I asked you before, and you said you didn’t want to continue studying.”
Qingyan nodded, “That’s right.”
Qiu Henian said, “So, I refused him.”
Qingyan breathed a sigh of relief and sat back on the bed.
Just then, he heard Qiu Henian continue, “After that, he told me that on our wedding night, you were not willing. It was your stepmother’s scheme that forced you to marry me.”
The relief Qingyan felt vanished instantly. His throat tightened, and he felt dizzy, his mind buzzing.
In these past few days, he had sensed something amiss with Qiu Henian, and now he finally understood why.
Feeling both panicked and wronged, Qingyan’s eyes stung with tears. He lowered his head to wipe his eyes with his sleeve, but a large hand grabbed his delicate wrist.
Looking up, he saw the other hand gently lifting his chin, the rough thumb brushing under his eyes, interrupting the tears that had just fallen.
Qiu Henian sighed softly, almost lamenting, “As tender-skinned as tofu. A rough wipe will leave you red for a long time. And once you stop crying, if it hurts from the wiping, I’ll have to hold you to comfort you.”
Qingyan furrowed his brows slightly, tears still welling up, looking at him in confusion, trying to decipher the man’s current attitude.
Was it because of the words of the original father that he no longer trusted him, or was he disgusted with him?
Right now, he really wanted to throw himself into the man’s arms and let him hold him, but he didn’t dare.
Qiu Henian withdrew the hand that had wiped his tears. Qingyan’s face followed that hand’s movement forward, but he quickly sat back and lowered his head.
“Is what your father said true?”
The man’s voice was calm, but upon closer listening, a hidden tremor could be heard.
“Qingyan, don’t lie to me.”
Qingyan clenched his fists tightly, veins standing out on the back of his hands, choked up as he said, “What he said is true.”
Qiu Henian’s eyes trembled, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His usually straight back leaned back for a moment.
At that moment, Qingyan continued, “On the night of our marriage, my answer to you was also true.”
Confusion flickered across Qiu Henian’s face.
Qingyan said, “The Qingyan who was carried onto the bridal sedan chair drugged and unwillingly was true. But when the sedan chair arrived here, the Qingyan you carried into this home was willing.”
Qiu Henian looked at him, his expression changing constantly.
“I know you sensed something wrong with me long ago, but I didn’t speak up, so you never asked. If Yu Fengtang hadn’t come to you, I didn’t planned to tell you about this.”
“Yu Fengtang is unreliable. He has set his sights on me, hoping I’ll go back to take the imperial examinations. I sent him away, but I know he won’t give up easily. Last time he sent someone to convey his message, he said he’d find a way to solve the problem on your side. Since then, I’ve become more and more afraid that his desperation will harm you.”
“Furthermore, I’m worried that once you know about the drugging and forced marriage by my stepmother, it will become an unresolved knot between us. I’m even more afraid that you’ll think I was deceiving you from the beginning. But rather than being controlled by Yu Fengtang because of this, I’d rather tell you the whole truth myself.”
Qingyan lifted his head and looked at him, determination showing on his face. “At the very least, the person who decides my fate is you.”
“As for why I am like this, Henian, I can’t tell you the reason right now, nor do I want to make up a random excuse to brush you off,” Qingyan choked out.
He didn’t know what would happen if he told Qiu Henian that he had crossed over from another world. This world had its own rules of operation, and while Qingyan seemed like a protagonist from a book, he might just be a speck of dust in this world, drifting insignificantly, unable to influence the course of events.
He was too afraid that his presence had not brought Qiu Henian’s fate into the light but rather guided it towards a darker future.
Qingyan hung his head and started crying again.
A deep sigh emanated from within the bed curtains. Qiu Henian’s large hand wrapped around his waist, and Qingyan followed that force to finally fall into those long-awaited arms.
Qiu Henian stroked Qingyan’s nape and spine repeatedly until Qingyan stopped crying and looked up at him, “Do you… trust me?”
Qiu Henian looked at him and nodded, “Mm.”
In truth, Qingyan didn’t need to ask; Qiu Henian’s actions had already shown his stance. From the beginning, he had chosen tolerance and trust.
After a while, Qingyan asked again, “Did you beat that person?”
Qiu Henian lowered his eyes to look at him and said, “Will you keep it a secret for me?”
Qingyan smiled through his tears and nodded firmly, “Mm.”
The two embraced again. Qingyan gently rubbed his cheek against the man’s face and asked, “Is it because of what Yu Fengtang said that you’ve been so cold towards me?”
Qiu Henian sighed helplessly, “When have I been cold towards you?”
Qingyan raised his head, his face slightly red.
“I hinted at it those nights, but you…”
He turned his head away, biting his lip.
“The doctor didn’t say we should abstain either.”
Qiu Henian’s eyes trembled lightly.
He glanced to the side, remained silent for a moment, then said, “I didn’t mean to neglect you…”
His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“That day, when you found out you weren’t pregnant and cried sadly, Qingyan,” his gaze returned to Qingyan, “I’m sorry, I may not be able to give you a child.”
Qingyan was taken aback, realizing he had been too focused on the poison in Qiu Henian’s body and had overlooked this issue.
He cupped Qiu Henian’s face and looked at him intently.
“Henian, I want a child. I want us to have a family with blood ties, so you won’t feel so lonely. You must understand, everything depends on you. I won’t force it if you don’t want to.”
“And besides, the doctor didn’t say it’s impossible.”
Qingyan lowered his head and lightly touched Qiu Henian’s lips. His eyes were filled with adoration as he said, “Whether we have a child or not doesn’t matter. I want to be intimate with you not for that reason.”
Qiu Henian looked into his eyes.
Qingyan placed his hand on the man’s firm chest, blushing intensely but boldly declared, “I just crave your warmth.”
Spoiler for the Next Chapter:
“Qingyan,” Qiu Henian’s lips moved, “tell me what you want me to do, and only then will I know.”
