For the first time, Zhao Xiaokui realized how uncomfortable it was to devour an entire soul.
She felt like she had spun in place ten thousand times, and her mind seemed to have been tossed out.
Countless memories and emotions intertwined with her own.
She couldn’t even distinguish which memories were hers and which belonged to someone else.
At times, she remembered herself as Zhao Xiaokui, a transmigrator who had once transformed into a mermaid.
At other times, she felt like her name was Ronald, an outstanding Air Force pilot.
Grandmother, Shen Zhifei…
Ronald’s wife, daughter…
Tears poured down as she continuously called Shen Zhifei’s name.
“Shen Zhifei, Shen Zhifei…”
Shen Zhifei held her in his arms, gently stroking her long hair one after another.
Once again, she experienced that sense of helplessness from the deep-sea world.
And this time, it was even more intense.
Even though she was holding Zhao Xiaokui, she could only watch as sweat soaked her long hair, and she uncontrollably spasmed in her arms.
This powerlessness made her feel like she had returned to childhood, back to the day when her parents’ plane crashed.
She saw the plane on the TV plunging into the ocean, igniting a massive fire, but she couldn’t do anything.
Zhao Xiaokui opened her eyes and happened to see Shen Zhifei’s serious expression. Not wanting her to blame herself, she endured the pain and forced a smile, saying, “Shen Zhifei, why do you have such an expression? You… you look so fierce. If I didn’t know better, I would think the person lying here was you.”
Shen Zhifei said, “I would rather it be me.”
Her expression was sincere, and her concern was genuine.
The feeling of being cared for and loved was truly wonderful.
It made Zhao Xiaokui feel that her head didn’t hurt as much.
“Shen Zhifei, kiss me, and it won’t hurt as much.”
As she spoke, a mischievous gleam flickered in her eyes.
Shen Zhifei knew she was comforting herself, so she leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Like this?”
Zhao Xiaokui replied, “Better.”
She kissed her eyes again.
“Even better now,” Zhao Xiaokui said.
Shen Zhifei’s final kiss landed on her lips.
In pain, Zhao Xiaokui couldn’t open her mouth, afraid of biting Shen Zhifei. She swirled between Zhao Xiaokui’s lips and teeth.
Whether it was Zhao Xiaokui’s illusion or not, she felt like her pain had eased.
Her furrowed brows relaxed a bit, and a tear suddenly fell on her eyelid. Opening her eyes, she saw Shen Zhifei with closed eyes, each eyelash glistening with tears.
She felt as if these tears had fallen into her heart.
Raising her hand to wipe Shen Zhifei’s tears, she noticed that her nails had turned golden, becoming sharp at the tips, resembling the claws of a wild beast.
She even had a sense that, as long as she wished, this hand could extract a person’s heart at any moment.
Dark golden vertical pupils, scales behind the ears.
The protruding pointed teeth, and… golden nails.
This was the fourth transformation related to mermaids that appeared on her body.
Without time to think about it, the complex memories surged again like a tide, and the pain engulfed her.
The stairs of the old residential building were not wide, and you could see the green-painted railing with red embroidery. The walls had marks left by honeycomb coal and casual drawings by children.
Sunlight poured through the staircase window, casting a golden glow on the floor.
This scene reminded Shen Zhifei of the summers described in those movies.
She always felt that the next moment, a girl in a blue and white school uniform, carrying a backpack, would run up the stairs three steps at a time.
Where is this?
Shen Zhifei’s memories were still stuck at the moment when she closed her eyes to kiss Zhao Xiaokui.
But strangely, there was no panic of suddenly realizing she was in a strange place. Even though she had never been to this place before, there was an indescribable familiarity and a sense of reassurance.
Almost involuntarily, Shen Zhifei thought of a place—Qingmu Community.
The place where Zhao Xiaokui grew up.
She walked up the stairs, and after a few steps, she saw two anti-theft doors facing each other.
Shen Zhifei’s gaze fell on the door with a metal plate labeled “602” on top.
The anti-theft door was deep green, with some paint rusted off, revealing the iron plate inside. The big red couplets were fading to yellow, and the pasted “福” character looked fresh, but in the middle, someone had punched a hole, giving it a somewhat amusing appearance.
She placed her hand on the door.
A cold sensation spread from the palm.
It’s tangible.
Should she knock or not?
Shen Zhifei stood at the doorway, raising her hand, but couldn’t bring it down for a while.
Would there be someone inside?
Would Zhao Xiaokui be inside?
While she hesitated, the door suddenly opened, startling Shen Zhifei, and causing her to step back twice in a row.
The one who opened the door was an old lady.
Seeing Shen Zhifei, she said, “Are you here to find Xiaokui? That naughty girl doesn’t know where she went to play, she hasn’t come back yet. Come in and sit, have a glass of water while waiting for her.”
Looking at the elderly lady in front of her, Shen Zhifei widened her eyes.
First, she was surprised that the lady could see her. Second, she was surprised by her identity—
Zhao Xiaokui’s grandmother.
As a person in her twenties, she stuttered when speaking to the old lady, “G-Gran-grandma, hello.”
Grandma smiled, squinting her eyes, and crisply replied, “Hey.”
Facing the kind gaze of the old lady, for some reason, Shen Zhifei felt like she knew a lot of things.
She followed the old lady into the house in a daze.
“There’s nothing much at home to entertain you, come and have some fruit. Do you want tea or water?” Grandma warmly offered.
Shen Zhifei’s decades of social skills seemed to have disappeared instantly. She sat on the sofa not knowing where to put her hands and feet. Seeing the old lady bustling around, she hesitated and said, “Grandma, there’s no need to trouble yourself.”
“That naughty girl secretly bought cola and put it in the refrigerator, thinking she could hide it from me. How naive!” Grandma proudly took out a bottle of cola from a black plastic bag and said to Shen Zhifei, “Xiaokui likes to drink these nutrition-less things. After drinking too much, she won’t eat, saying she wants to lose weight.”
Shen Zhifei stood up to take the drink, saying, “Thank you, Grandma.”
She felt awkward refusing the old lady’s kindness, so she opened the drink and took a sip. Grandma sat down, wearing reading glasses, and observed her appearance with a smile at the corner of her lips.
“What’s the name of the little girl?”
Putting down the drink, Shen Zhifei replied, “My last name is Shen, and I’m called Zhifei.”
Grandma smiled and said, “In all my life, I’ve traveled far and wide, only today do I know that word, it’s a good name.”
Shen Zhifei hurriedly said, “Xiaokui’s name is also very nice.”
“Her name was chosen by me.” Speaking of this matter, Grandma’s eyes were filled with nostalgia. “Before she was born, I thought of many names, wanting them to be pleasant, have good meaning, and be culturally rich. I flipped through books until my hands hurt. On the day she was born, the sunflowers I planted happened to bloom. I thought, why choose such a complicated name? I don’t expect her to achieve great things; I just hope she can live peacefully and happily. Like a sunflower, leaving the darkness behind, always chasing the sun. So, when the doctor asked me what name to give the child, I said, let’s call her Xiaokui.”
Xiaokui.
A simple name, but Shen Zhifei felt a warm feeling flowing slowly through her heart.
“Speaking of this name, there’s another funny thing. I don’t know if she told you. When she was in elementary school, didn’t they show the Xiaokui Flower Mom Classroom on TV? The boys in her class used to follow Xiaokui and call her Xiaokui Flower Mom. Can you guess what she did?” Grandma asked playfully.
Shen Zhifei thought of the young Zhao Xiaokui being chased by a group of boys, calling her mom, and couldn’t help but want to laugh.
She said, “I can’t guess.”
“She beat up a few boys all by herself. When their parents came to complain, she boldly said,” Grandma straightened her back, imitating Zhao Xiaokui’s appearance, “I’m their mom. Isn’t it right for a mom to discipline her children?”
Shen Zhifei: “Pfft…”
“She, you know, is quite mischievous.”
Although Grandma said so, the satisfaction in her eyes couldn’t be hidden.
Shen Zhifei didn’t know how long she chatted with the old lady.
From Zhao Xiaokui blaming the balcony stray cat for bedwetting to being confessed to by a boy and turning it into a challenge, pulling him into a fight.
Shen Zhifei laughed until tears streamed down her face.
Grandma continued, “She is really interesting. Always thinking about something in her head.”
“Yeah,” Shen Zhifei agreed with the old lady, “she has always been so lovable.”
“Having talked so much about Xiaokui, haven’t talked about you yet.”
Grandma looked at Shen Zhifei gently and suddenly asked.
Shen Zhifei was surprised, “Me?”
After puzzlement, there was also anxiety and unease, “I, I don’t have much to say.”
Her life was indeed unremarkable.
She never went up the mountain to harvest honey, her face swollen from bee stings. She also never made bets with people or brazenly entered the men’s restroom, startling a bunch of men whose pants weren’t properly pulled up.
Compared to Zhao Xiaokui’s life, her first twenty-six years were lived like a robot that eats, drinks, and fulfills bodily functions.
As an adult, as long as the goals were set, she executed them meticulously according to the program.
Many people found her quite uninteresting.
She had no particular likes or hobbies. Besides work, her life was all about studying.
“I’m not good at taking care of people, nor do I understand how to empathize with others’ emotions. I’m often considered very indifferent…”
Shen Zhifei spoke increasingly bitterly.
“But she likes you.”
Shen Zhifei raised her head in astonishment.
Grandma repeated with a smile, “But Xiaokui really likes you.”
She continued, “If she doesn’t like someone, they wouldn’t make it here.”
Shen Zhifei held the unfinished drink and bid farewell at the door with Grandma.
“Every day after school, she likes to sit under the ginkgo tree in the square. If you look for her, you won’t go wrong.”
Following Grandma’s instructions, Shen Zhifei left Qingmu Residential Area, crossed the road, and headed towards the ginkgo square on the opposite side.
The whole world, apart from her, seemed deserted. The sunset appeared as if frozen in the sky, and since she entered until now, not a single shadow on the ground had changed.
Yet, Shen Zhifei did not feel fear.
She even felt that the heart beating in her chest was as if soaking in warm water, filled with a comforting warmth.
Under the ginkgo tree, she found Zhao Xiaokui.
The ginkgo tree, having matured, was large and thick. It would probably take three or four people to embrace it.
The girl in a blue and white school uniform was lying on the edge of the flowerbed.
