I bolted upright without realizing it. Though still groggy from just waking, I knew exactly where I was. I looked around, wondering if it was already morning. As I fumbled around to find the clock, I felt something falling off. I turned my gaze to what had fallen from me. It was a thicker and cozier blanket than the one I usually used.
I didn’t remember falling asleep with anything over me. As I puzzled over my hazy memory, a voice interrupted my thoughts.
“You didn’t sleep much.”
I turned my head towards the voice. He was seated at a table in the corner of the study, looking at documents. Though he didn’t look at me, he spoke as if he had seen all my restless movements. Finally then, I noticed the clock on the small table beside the sofa.
3 AM.
My nerves were relaxed. Despite sleeping for only two hours, I felt surprisingly refreshed. My throat, which had been itchy before sleep, felt fine, and the fever seemed to have subsided. Whether it was due to the cold medicine or the deep, albeit short, sleep, I didn’t know.
I tried my best to ignore the fact that he was also in the same room as I lay back down. I pulled up the fallen blanket, covering myself up to my neck. No, it felt more appropriate to call it a duvet. It wasn’t the thin blanket I usually had, but a thick one, unsuited to the current season, which felt strange. Why had he replaced the sofa blanket with this duvet? Had I pulled it over myself again in my sleep? But this curiosity inside me quickly subsided. I tucked away my thoughts and closed my eyes, trying to sleep again.
But it was futile. It was still just 3 AM, and sleep wouldn’t come. Eventually, I opened my eyes and blinked slowly a few times. I lay on my side, quietly observing the study. Now that I thought about it, It struck me as odd. The study was so brightly lit, yet I had always been able to sleep comfortably here without feeling the dazzling lights.
“If you can’t sleep, should I get you a late-night snack?”
Had I misheard just now? For a moment, I forgot to blink. I sat up, unable to comprehend what I had just heard.
“If you heard me, answer.”
His words, spoken while still looking at his documents, were sounding absurdly mundane and almost eerily ordinary.
“…I’ve never had one before.”
My voice, freshly woken, sounded muffled. The act of eating dinner and then eating again at night was never an option. There were many days when I skipped dinner, and it was impossible to get the missed dinners at a later time. I could never even dream of having a late-night snack.
Eventually, his gaze shifted from the documents to me. As he looked at me, I wondered what he thought of my unfortunate circumstances. Did he find it pitiable? Disturbing? I felt no discomfort to talk about this with him, having no pride left.
“So, do you want to eat?”
But his response was brief. As if he didn’t care about the hardships of my past, he repeated his question like this was a trivial matter, focusing only on what he wanted to say.
“You have quite the appetite despite being sick.”
Hearing that, I must have nodded before I realized it. I didn’t feel particularly hungry, but something made me nod in agreement. Watching him put down his papers and tap on his phone, a sudden anxiety struck me.
“Will I be eating alone?”
“I’m not hungry.”
No, whether I ate alone or with him wasn’t the issue.
“…At the dining table?”
My heart raced at the thought of my mom finding out.
“Why there?”
And that was the end of his response. I couldn’t tell if he meant “Why eat there?” or “Is there a problem with eating there?” I couldn’t bring myself to ask for clarification. Uncertain of which, I sat anxiously. Time passed without me realizing. The thought of picking up a book due to the awkwardness of being alone with him didn’t even occur to me. Regret filled my mind for saying I’d eat.
Just as my anxiety peaked, there was a sudden knock at the door. Startled, I turned to look at the door.
“Leave it and go.”
He instructed the person behind the door to leave before they even entered. The door then slowly opened. Behind it stood a man I had never seen before, an ordinary-looking man dressed sharply in a suit. I didn’t need to ask who he was; he was clearly his secretary.
I was first surprised by the fact that his secretary was waiting at this hour, then by the fact that I, myself, had been so absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realised who was responsible for preparing the snack. Finally, I was shocked to realize I had been in the same space with someone who could just call his secretary to bring the snack into this place. Amidst this, I felt relieved that I didn’t have to eat at the dining table.
With that relief, I came to my senses in the now quiet room. The person who carried the snack had vanished and the room stayed silent. The smell of delicious food replaced the presence of the person who had left. As if I were the only one worried about the smell seeping into the books, the man continued to look at his papers. I carefully folded the duvet, set it aside, and sat properly in front of the food. Lowering my gaze, I looked at the food in front of me. And…
“Do I eat alone?”
“Why are you making me repeat myself?”
I had expected for such a response to come, yet I couldn’t help but ask.
I stared at the spread before me, feeling as if the untouched food was already filling my throat.
It was all food I had never tried before. I had expected a simple ‘snack’, but I was overwhelmed by the lavish ‘meal’ in front of me. Even the portion size was too much for me to eat alone, I felt overwhelmed before I even started.
“I didn’t say you had to finish it all. Eat enough and leave the rest. You would always only nibble at side dishes, that’s why you caught a cold.”
My gaze moved from the food to him. He spoke as if he knew exactly why I hesitated to pick up the chopsticks, despite still not looking at me. It was only after a while, when he noticed the lack of any sound, that he looked up and met my eyes.
“Why… are you being so kind to me?”
Ever since I was born into this life, no one had ever shown me such kindness. That’s why I felt like I was already choking, not just because of the large portions or the gourmet spread beyond my expectation.
“So you do realize I’m being kind. I thought you didn’t know.”
I was surprised. I didn’t know how to respond.
“Well, I’m curious why I’m like this myself.”
“……”
“Me finally getting a younger sibling? It’s ridiculous, given how many siblings I’ve gained and lost.”
It sounded like a familiar phrase. The chairman had said something similar to him the day we first met. He said something along the line, now you finally have such a cute younger sibling. But he had laughed in disbelief at his father’s words. Just as I had many fathers, he had many mothers.
“But is that important?”
Yet, his story stopped there. I had expected him to continue, but he cut it off as if there was nothing more to say. Of course, it wouldn’t be like him to reveal the full story about himself.
“I’ll do what I want, and you should just be grateful and enjoy it. When I get tired of it, I’ll stop and won’t even pretend you exist. So, make the most of it while you can.”
His words weren’t hurtful. Rather…
“Stop making me talk and start eating, alright?”
They felt comforting.
Despite his harsh tone, I wasn’t hurt. Even if it was a kindness with an end in sight, it was the first time I had received such kindness from anyone. My past fathers had pretended to be kind to me, but their eyes, like snakes, had a hidden agenda. Even as a child, I could sense their true intentions. Like a prey animal with heightened senses, I instinctively reacted to these threats.
But this man’s eyes were different. There was no hidden agenda. That alone put me at ease.
Perhaps that’s why I kept being drawn to this place, as if it were a sanctuary.
I finally picked up the chopsticks and began tasting the food in front of me. Despite being slightly cold, it was unbelievably delicious. I had never had the chance to savor food just for its taste, only eating to survive. Even in this house, where I had been served lavish meals, it was no different. But the food he had arranged for me was genuinely tasty. It was so impressive that I’m sure I’ll be thinking about this meal often in the future. I ate as much as I could, thinking I might never have the chance to eat it again. Despite feeling full, it seemed as though there was still room in my stomach.
In the excessively late hours of the night, as I ate what was my first late-night snack, I found inexplicable comfort in the presence of someone else in the same room. It felt as if my cold had completely disappeared, not because of the delicious food, the medicine, or the rest I had.
It was the warmth of another person that was the true remedy.
Make me feel happy and supported by leaving a comment!
