After following him on a flight for about two hours and arriving at his business trip destination, the first thing we did was to get some sleep.
‘What should we do when we get there?’
‘We should sleep.’
‘Pardon?’
‘I’d like to do exactly what’s on your mind right now too, but you’d probably fall asleep in the middle of doing it.’
I had asked him absentmindedly as the car approached the airport, and his response caused me to misunderstand, making my face flush with embarrassment. I regretted asking something so unnecessary, feeling like I had given the impression that those strange thoughts were the only things on my mind. I spent the entire flight across the sea filled with self-reproach.
The place we arrived at was a private house with a spacious garden, much like the mansion in Korea. As I lay down on the bed, the weariness washed over me, accompanied by a sense of relief that all the surprising events had come to an end. Comforted by his presence beside me, I quickly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When I opened my eyes again, I was wrapped in a warm embrace. The warmth that had stayed by my side as I fell asleep was still there, keeping me company. Wanting to savor that warmth even more, I burrowed deeper into it, feeling his arms tighten around me. Slowly, I lifted my head. My gaze met his eyes, watching me from such a close distance that I could feel his breath.
Had he been watching me the whole time, or had he woken up because of my movements? It was hard to tell from his tired eyes. I quietly stared at the colors of dawn reflected in his gaze.
I didn’t have nightmares when he was by my side.
Waking up and opening my eyes, to see the face of the one who anchored my reality more solidly than any dream, the nightmares lost their power and faded away.
My mom still tormented me in my dreams. Perhaps that nightmare would relentlessly follow me until the day I would close my eyes for good. The nightmares were terrifying because they felt so real, making me fear that what I believed I had now might not be reality.
But when I woke up and found him beside me, I could easily distinguish between dreams and reality. Nightmares, perhaps, were merely a relentless reminder of how precious my current happiness was. Looking at him, such thoughts arose in me. I felt reassured, enough to calm my heart.
“Why?”
His seemingly indifferent question actually revealed the impatient concern of someone whose entire focus was on me. I now understood why his questions were always so brief.
“Just because.”
Just. The word that had once carried a different meaning when it came from his lips, but now, it slipped from mine.
“It feels great to be sleeping together.”
It was strange how waking up and simply realizing that I was happy felt so unfamiliar to me.
As I softly whispered my feelings, he slowly lowered his head. His lips brushed against mine gently before pulling away with a lingering tenderness. Hesitant for a brief moment, I eventually moved my lips slowly again, savoring the warmth he had left behind.
“If I hadn’t met you, Director… I probably couldn’t have imagined living this kind of life.”
Whenever my mother used to hit me, I often thought that it wouldn’t matter if I died right then. There were many times when I wished that death would free me from the pain. My will had crumbled, and my emotions were always powerless. But now, I found myself thinking that it was good I stayed alive. And that still felt so unfamiliar to me. If he hadn’t been by my side, what kind of miserable life would I have led? Perhaps I would have died somewhere, in some tragic accident. My life without him would have been utterly worthless.
I still found my current life unfamiliar. Was I really someone who deserved this much happiness? Wasn’t this happiness far beyond what I was meant to have? Considering that the nightmares never fully left me, reminding me of my sins, perhaps this happiness was truly undeserved for someone like me.
“Yewoon.”
He held my gaze in silence for a long time before he slowly spoke.
“I wish I had pulled you out of that misery a little sooner.”
His voice sounded as though it came from a deep place within him.
“When that thought first occurred to me, I realized that what I felt was love.”
His words made my chest tighten painfully. My eyes stung, growing hot with emotion.
“Your misfortunes and suffering made me feel anger instead of pity or feeling sorry. But sometimes, I wonder if you only grabbed my hand because you were cornered in desperation, and if I somehow benefited from that situation.”
“……”
“Even so.”
“……”
“I hope I’m not a nightmare for you.”
At those words, I burrowed into his embrace. He held me tightly with both arms as I swallowed down the sobs that threatened to escape.
My mom must have fallen into the fires of hell. And eventually, I too would fall into those flames. On the day we meet again in hell, my 17 years of torment would start all over again. I had once resolved to live the rest of my life with that in mind. After all, there were more days ahead than those I had already endured. But with him by my side, I felt that even in death, he wouldn’t let go of my hand. And like that, just as my mom couldn’t harm me in my nightmares, she wouldn’t be able to torment me in hell either. Because he would be there with me.
‘Live a long life, Yewoon.’
The words he spoke flowed clearly into my heart, as if they touched my bare soul.
I wanted to live a long life, to be happy with him for as long as possible. The thought that I could desire such ordinary happiness, like the kind other people dream of, filled me with overwhelming joy. I wished I could express it to him, to tell him how I felt. Someday, I wondered if I could whisper such sweet, tender words without feeling embarrassed or shy.
Until that day came, I hoped his heart wouldn’t change. Because my feelings for him would never waver.
“You shouldn’t get tired of me.”
At least not until I could return as much happiness as he’d given me.
“Hearing you say that, seems like you’re already getting tired of me?”
…How could he possibly take my words to lead to such a conclusion? My sentimental thoughts faded, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Why are you laughing? Letting you roam around outside must have made you cocky enough to think such things.”
Seeing how he couldn’t keep his composure only with me, how he lost his usual calm, I realized just how deeply and passionately he loved me. The overwhelming emotion that had earlier brought me to tears subsided, and an uncontrollable surge of affection for him welled up inside me. I felt like I had to say anything, to hold back the flood of emotions, so I spoke quietly.
“If my misery was the process of being able to meet you.”
I had come to a new realization—a revelation so decisive that even the nightmares of my mom no longer felt so terrifying.
The worst nightmare I could imagine now, worse than all the previous nightmares, was.
“Then I’d be grateful for that misery.”
That this blissful reality turned out to be a dream.
How could there be a nightmare worse than that in my life? What if the man in front of me, who had always been there for me, running eagerly to meet me from afar, was nothing but an illusion?
If a nightmare was defined by a situation so terrifying that you want to escape from it immediately, then what would you call waking up from a dream where you lived in unimaginable happiness, only to be tossed back into a filthy reality? If this was a dream, I would rather never wake up. If this moment was indeed a dream, I’d rather live in the nightmare where my mom came back alive.
‘I hope I’m not a nightmare for you.’
But for me, your absence would be the true nightmare. Your presence in my life could never be a nightmare.
Maybe it’s not that my mom only came to me in nightmares when he wasn’t by my side, but rather that the nightmare was realizing he wasn’t by my side when I woke up. Perhaps the fact that I had nightmares when he wasn’t around was just me being childish. Maybe it’s my way of being clingy, silently asking him not to leave me alone.
And perhaps, he knew all this too and still played along. He was a man who would never accommodate anyone else.
“Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning, Yewoon.”
The words he spoke after quietly listening to me weren’t meant to comfort or reprimand. They were a simple, calm greeting, as if to say that misfortune and suffering could no longer have any power over my life. Hearing his gentle voice, as if a lullaby, I closed my eyes. Though I had only recently woken up, that single phrase made me feel at ease, and I slowly drifted back into sleep.
There had been countless days when I wished morning would never come. Days when I prayed I wouldn’t open my eyes, when I desperately hoped that tomorrow would be the end of my life. But now, the thought of opening my eyes and seeing him in the morning made my heart race with anticipation.
I couldn’t help but love him. This person who willingly welcomed this uninvited guest into his life.
“Have a… good night.”
Just before crossing the threshold of a dream, I barely moved my lips to respond to his greeting. Though my voice was so quiet that it probably didn’t reach him, the gentle hand patting my back felt like his way of acknowledging my greeting, allowing me to peacefully drift into my dreams.
Tomorrow, I’d go out a few more steps earlier to wait for him. If it rained, I’d bring an umbrella. If the day was hot, I’d find a cool, shady spot to greet him. Waiting for someone meant that there would be a person returning back to where I was.
When he returned, I’d welcome him and tell him what I couldn’t say before.
That I had been waiting for him because I missed him.
With courage, kindly, carefully, and affectionately, just like his touch.
Happy new year! And this chapter marks the end of An Uninvited Guest Volume 1. The main story ends here, however there are still 19+ rated extra volumes consisting epilogues and side stories, but I don’t have any plan to continue translating them for now. (I’m sorry!! Feel free to pick them up, anyone!)
Thank you for reading the series until now! I had so many irl things happening close to the end of it, but I managed to upload everything without any break, I’m kinda proud of myself for this.. See you in the next series! (Spoiler: it’s A/B/O!)
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