Translator: Lynn
Thank you to Ananas for the ko-fi! Here’s your bonus chapter <3
Sponsored chapter (1/2)
Jiang Yuduo’s seemingly casual remark about boiling an eagle left Cheng Ke stunned for a long time. Boiling eagles was a subject he was familiar with since his childhood. He had watched documentaries and read numerous articles about it.
In order to tame the wildness of eagles, they would be blindfolded and made to stand on swaying ropes. They were deprived of food, water, and sleep until they were on the verge of exhaustion. Only then would the owner offer some water and a piece of meat, making the eagle obedient.
Cheng Ke recalled watching a documentary where the owner took the eagle out for hunting rabbits. The eagle would soar high in the sky, circling for a long time. The owner would keep blowing the whistle, but the eagle would refuse to return to the owner’s arm. Even after being “boiled,” the eagles sometimes never returned during certain hunting expeditions.
At that time, all Cheng Ke could think was, “Fly away, don’t come back…” However, he couldn’t remember if the eagle did fly away or return.
The desire to fly away and never return lingered in Cheng Ke’s mind as he went over these memories. He couldn’t fathom the connection between these thoughts and Jiang Yuduo, or perhaps he was afraid to delve into that connection.
All Cheng Ke could do was wait in silence for Jiang Yuduo to speak.
“My father used to work with eagles,” Jiang Yuduo began, holding a lit cigarette and toying with a lighter in his hand. He flicked it on and off, flipping it between his fingers. “He loved sharing stories about boiling eagles. It wasn’t just about taming the eagle; it was also a test of the master’s willpower, a battle between man and eagle.”
“What kind of battle is that? Starving them and depriving them of water?” Cheng Ke frowned. “Forcing someone to fight like that is a meaningless battle.”
“Afterward, he stopped working with eagles because it became forbidden,” Jiang Yuduo said, tossing the lighter into the air. As it fell back into his palm, he tightly clenched it. “He said we are not eagles, we are not wild. We are just puppies who will behave after a few beatings. There’s no challenge in that.”
Cheng Ke turned his head abruptly and stared at Jiang Yuduo.
“But he believed that those rules had their merits,” Jiang Yuduo looked at his clenched hands. “Darkness, hunger, cold, sleep deprivation… What’s the point?”
Cheng Ke felt a mix of fear and anger welling up within him.
“He said that once we no longer fear these things, we won’t fear anything,” Jiang Yuduo continued. “Without fear, we become invincible.”
“Nonsense!” Cheng Ke raised his voice. “Those fears can never be erased in a lifetime!”
“Yes,” Jiang Yuduo turned to him, smiling. “I’ve lived in fear my whole life. None of us is invincible. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of everything.” “May I ask you a question?” Cheng Ke furrowed his brows.
“Sure,” Jiang Yuduo replied.
“Did your parents get shot?” Cheng Ke asked.
“I don’t know,” Jiang Yuduo responded. “They were captured.”
Cheng Ke breathed a sigh of relief, but the immense pain and anguish conveyed in Jiang Yuduo’s few words left him unable to calm down.
“Why did he treat you like this, all of you?” Cheng Ke asked through gritted teeth.
“We train every day, and when there’s a game, we go to play,” Jiang Yuduo replied. “With other ‘puppies’ or just by ourselves.”
“Who watches?” Cheng Ke inquired.
“I don’t know. I can’t see anyone. It’s dark all around,” Jiang Yuduo responded.
“Where are the other kids?” Cheng Ke asked again.
“I don’t know. We’ve all been separated. I don’t know where they went,” Jiang Yuduo said. “They don’t know where I am or who I am anymore.”
“And how did you end up here?” Cheng Ke hesitated before asking.
“Took a bus. We got on and off one by one, and it was a long ride,” Jiang Yuduo explained.
“Are you alone? What about the others? They’re just children. The police can’t take care of them,” Cheng Ke expressed concern.
At the mention of the word “police,” Jiang Yuduo’s hands tightened, his knuckles turning pale. He spoke softly, “They can’t hurt anyone anymore.”
“What?” Cheng Ke was taken aback.
“Isn’t that what you wanted to know? About my childhood,” Jiang Yuduo asked, looking at Cheng Ke with a smile.
Cheng Ke remained silent.
“I’ll step out for a moment,” Jiang Yuduo said, opening the car door and getting out before Cheng Ke could respond. He stood on the sidewalk in front of the car.
Cheng Ke stayed inside the car, watching him intently.
Jiang Yuduo stood in the wind, wearing only a T-shirt and no coat. Yet, he seemed completely at ease. He didn’t show any signs of discomfort from the cold—no stiff posture, no shrugging or neck-crinkling that most people would exhibit in such weather. He even lit a cigarette.
Cheng Ke recalled struggling to light a cigarette in the strong wind, nearly driving himself crazy. Was Jiang Yuduo’s ability to light a cigarette in such conditions some kind of extraordinary skill?
Cheng Ke lit a cigarette of his own and took a drag, observing Jiang Yuduo, who was also holding a cigarette in the wind.
Never ask again.
Never wonder again.
He didn’t want to hear any more about Jiang Yuduo’s past.
Even if Jiang Yuduo spoke in the simplest and calmest tone, as if narrating someone else’s story, Cheng Ke couldn’t bear to accept it.
When Cheng Ke used to hang out with Liu Tiancheng and the others, he would often hear strange stories being casually shared. He would usually just listen to these unsubstantiated tales, wondering whether they were true or simply exaggerated anecdotes meant for boasting in the unseen corners.
But what Jiang Yuduo had just revealed sent chills down his spine. Even with the car heater on, sitting there, he still felt a sense of hopelessness.
Yes, it was more despair than fear and anger.
Jiang Yuduo was no longer trapped in the place that had brought him despair. It had been ten years since he left there. He had returned to the real world, a world where he could eat, sleep, and drink freely.
Yet, as Cheng Ke observed him standing in the wind, smoking a cigarette, he couldn’t sense any relaxation from Jiang Yuduo.
The scars and traumas etched on his body hadn’t faded away. He breathed the air of this world, but he might not truly feel its reality.
After smoking two cigarettes, Cheng Ke opened the car door, went back, retrieved Jiang Yuduo’s coat from the trunk, and got out of the car.
Fireworks were still lighting up the night sky, with various dazzling shapes illuminating one after another. Even after they vanished, their bright afterimages lingered in one’s vision.
Several enormous ring-shaped fireworks soared into the night sky simultaneously, instantly lighting up the surroundings and eliciting cheers from the onlookers.
Cheng Ke watched the fireworks and walked over to Jiang Yuduo’s side.
“Put on your coat,” he said, handing the garment over with a slight tremor in his hand.
“I’m not cold…” Jiang Yuduo turned his face away, but when he saw that he was only wearing a woolen sweater, he frowned and accepted the coat, allowing Cheng Ke to help him put it on first.
“Put it on even if you’re not cold,” Cheng Ke insisted. “You look cold.”
“Alright,” Jiang Yuduo acquiesced, taking the coat and zipping it up to the top.
“Look at the fireworks,” Cheng Ke said, gazing up at the display. “They should be almost over. There are huge fireworks happening right now.”
“I…I’m a little scared,” Jiang Yuduo confessed.
“What are you afraid of?” Cheng Ke placed a hand on Jiang Yuduo’s shoulder, standing face-to-face with him and speaking softly.
“I shouldn’t tell you this,” Jiang Yuduo furrowed his brow. “You shouldn’t know.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Cheng Ke reassured him. “I’ll forget, I won’t remember.”
“But I will,” Jiang Yuduo responded.
Cheng Ke didn’t say anything, just stared at his face.
Jiang Yuduo turned away from the fireworks’ light, but the colorful glow still cast its radiance on his profile. Cheng Ke noticed the small glimmering specks at the corners of his eyes and the faint trembling of his eyelashes.
“Everything I said will be forgotten,” Cheng Ke said, wrapping his left arm around Jiang Yuduo’s shoulder and whispering into his ear. “My grandma told me that if you reveal a secret, it will be carried away by the wind.”
“I remember,” Jiang Yuduo leaned lightly against him, lowering his head to rest his chin on Cheng Ke’s shoulder. “I remember a lot. I always thought I couldn’t remember so much.”
Cheng Ke remained silent. He couldn’t offer comfort to others, let alone figure out how to console Jiang Yuduo in his current state.
All he could do was pat Jiang Yuduo’s back up and down.
“I remember that I killed many small animals,” Jiang Yuduo confessed. “We caught stray cats and stray dogs.”
Cheng Ke’s hand trembled, but he continued to pat Jiang Yuduo’s back.
He suddenly understood why Jiang Yuduo had fought him over a kitten in the trash can.
“I really like Meow,” Jiang Yuduo said. “But sometimes I’m also afraid of it. I’m afraid of everything—afraid of gray, afraid of the dark…” He paused.
“Are you afraid of elves?” Cheng Ke asked.
Jiang Yuduo hesitated for a moment, then smiled and nodded. “Is it a trash elf?”
“Yeah,” Cheng Ke confirmed.
“I’m not afraid,” Jiang Yuduo replied.
“That’s good,” Cheng Ke patted the back of his head. “Let’s go and see the lanterns.”
“Okay,” Jiang Yuduo agreed.
Cheng Ke turned his head to the side, contemplated for a couple of seconds, and then kissed Jiang Yuduo’s earlobe. He gently bit the earlobe with his lips and pulled back playfully.
“That’s so cute,” he remarked.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Jiang Yuduo was taken aback for a moment, but then burst into laughter, coughing in the process.
“Get in the car,” Cheng Ke pushed him playfully, turned around, and headed towards the vehicle.
“You can be such an idiot sometimes,” Jiang Yuduo commented from behind.
“You,” Cheng Ke turned around and pointed at him, “Be careful with your words. Believe it or not, I’ll fight you right now.”
“I didn’t say that,” Jiang Yuduo approached, took off his coat, and squeezed himself into the car. He sat in the driver’s seat and added, “You’re the one missing an arm, and I’ll let you beat me with all four legs.”
“Where will you get two more?” Cheng Ke laughed and got into the car.
“Chen Qing’s,” Jiang Yuduo stated solemnly.
“By the way, let’s hurry,” Cheng Ke took out his mobile phone, “I promised to send him a picture of the lanterns.” There was indeed a message from Chen, the car enthusiast, at 139XXXXXXXX on his phone.
— Brother! How about the lanterns?
Cheng Ke stuck his phone out of the car window, captured a photo of the street lanterns, and sent it.
Two seconds later, Chen, the car enthusiast, at 139XXXXXXXX replied to the message.
— Did you guys go to see the lanterns?
Cheng Ke smiled.
— We just watched the fireworks by the roadside. Now we’re going to see the lanterns. Wait.
— Where were the fireworks? Did you capture them? All I could see from home was the tip of a firework.
— Didn’t capture them.
— What’s the use then? If you don’t capture them while watching the fireworks, what’s the point of watching?
Cheng Ke didn’t respond to the message.
He hadn’t even fully watched the fireworks since Jiang Yuduo started talking about those things. It felt as if he hadn’t seen anything at all.
From the corner of his eye, he glanced at Jiang Yuduo, who was driving towards the square. He seemed quite calm, unlike his intense reaction when discussing those things earlier.
Cheng Ke didn’t know if it was because Jiang Yuduo had been seeing a psychiatrist or if there was another reason behind it.
The two of them were currently sitting in the car, appearing to be in good spirits. However, Cheng Ke knew that he might only be able to force a smile throughout the night.
After hearing about those things, he wasn’t sure what kind of mood he could have while looking at the lanterns.
Jiang Yuduo seemed to be in a better state than him, perhaps because those memories had been ingrained in his mind for many years. After finding a parking spot near the square and sharing it with another similarly sized two-door car, Jiang Yuduo looked excited as he got out of the car.
“This parking spot is perfect for this car. Easy peasy,” the owner of the other two-door car commented happily.
“Yes,” Jiang Yuduo nodded.
Cheng Ke glanced at the two small cars side by side in the parking space and felt his mood lift a little. He had the urge to laugh.
“After we see the lanterns, let’s invite Chen Qing and my little brothers for supper,” Jiang Yuduo whispered into Cheng Ke’s ear. “Would you like to join us?”
“What do you want to eat?” Cheng Ke asked.
“Barbecue. We’ll gather for a barbecue, a traditional choice, no innovations,” Jiang Yuduo suggested.
“Okay,” Cheng Ke nodded.
Jiang Yuduo grinned and pointed towards a prominent, bright light ahead. “That’s where it is,” he said.
“There are so many,” Cheng Ke observed, gazing at the square and the surrounding streets adorned with lanterns of various colors and sizes. From a distance, it was hard to discern their shapes, but it felt like being engulfed in a vast sea of lanterns.
“Have you been here before?” Jiang Yuduo inquired.
“No,” Cheng Ke replied. “I rarely participate in this kind of festivity.”
“Let me buy you a lantern,” Jiang Yuduo suggested. “And you can buy me one too. I played with Chen Qing before, that’s how we did it.”
“You and Chen Qing…” Cheng Ke clicked his tongue. “If I didn’t know your relationship, I’d definitely think you’re a couple.”
“That’s not possible,” Jiang Yuduo turned his head to look at him. “Yeah…”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be jealous of Chen Qing. I won’t have any thoughts even if you two lie on the bed and cuddle,” Cheng Ke teased.
“Fuck you, man,” Jiang Yuduo playfully punched his arm. “Stop saying such things. I’m afraid I’ll see Chen Qing later and want to beat him up.”
“If I didn’t say these things, you’d still beat him up,” Cheng Ke sighed. “Chen Qing isn’t an easy person.”
The square was crowded with people, all coming from the nearby area within one or two hundred meters of the lantern display.
Cheng Ke took photos of various lanterns with his phone, not paying much attention to framing and focusing since he only had one hand. He simply snapped pictures whenever he had the frame in view.
Animal lanterns, flower lanterns, flood lanterns, abstract lanterns… No matter the type, there were clusters of people in front of each, disregarding one another’s presence and posing in different directions for their cameras.
“Can you take a picture for me?” Jiang Yuduo requested.
“Sure,” Cheng Ke nodded, slightly surprised by Jiang Yuduo’s request. “Where should I shoot?”
“That big cat lantern,” Jiang Yuduo pointed. “Doesn’t it look a bit like a meow?”
“A meow is a gray and white cat. This is an orange cat…” Cheng Ke looked at him. “Are you feeling sorry for Meow? After raising it for so long, I don’t even know its fur color?”
“I meant the mannerism!” Jiang Yuduo clarified.
Cheng Ke glanced at the big orange cat lantern again. To be honest, it was quite ugly, let alone having any mannerisms. Only after Jiang Yuduo mentioned it was a cat did he realize it wasn’t a bear.
“Let’s go,” Cheng Ke raised his phone, but Jiang Yuduo was already surrounded by a group of people. He didn’t know where Jiang Yuduo would fit in after squeezing through. “You…”
Before he could find a place for Jiang Yuduo, Jiang Yuduo had already stepped into the camera frame, positioning himself at the forefront. He zipped up his jacket, stretched out his arms to the sides, spread his legs, and struck a wide stance.
Although the pose looked extremely silly, it must be said that once he struck this wide stance, the people behind him were left with no space.
“Meow!” Jiang Yuduo bellowed.
Cheng Ke pressed the shutter, capturing a photo of Jiang Yuduo with a big “O” expression on his face.
“Let me see,” Jiang Yuduo hurried over.
Cheng Ke couldn’t help but say, “Let’s take another picture.”
“It’s fine. As long as I’m with you,” Jiang Yuduo took his phone. “I just wanted to make a fuss… Is that okay?”
“Sure,” Cheng Ke replied.
“Why did you make me look like an idiot?” Jiang Yuduo stared at him. “I thought you were an artist. Your skills should be better than Chen Qing’s!”
“You meow again, and you’re the idiot!” Cheng Ke retorted.
“Fine,” Jiang Yuduo hesitated. “One more.”
At the front of the screen, Jiang Yuduo struck the wide stance once again, with a few people holding their phones in front of him.
“Why is this person here again?” an annoyed woman about to take a picture exclaimed.
“I’m here again. Why didn’t you leave?” Jiang Yuduo replied, looking at her.
The woman glanced at him sideways but remained silent.
Jiang Yuduo turned his head and looked at Cheng Ke. “Hurry up! I won’t meow anymore! Just take the picture!”
Cheng Ke observed Jiang Yuduo through the camera lens. Whether it was his poses or expressions during the photo shoot, Cheng Ke could tell that Jiang Yuduo struggled with taking pictures seriously. In fact, he appeared over three thousand times more foolish when trying to take a proper photo compared to his casual encounters with mirrors.
Cheng Ke snapped the shot, capturing Jiang Yuduo’s mischievous smile.
“No,” Jiang Yuduo glanced at the phone. “Do I… not know what the hell I look like?”
“You don’t know how to take good pictures,” Cheng Ke remarked. “Or rather, you don’t know anything about it.”
“Well, show me one then,” Jiang Yuduo looked around and suddenly pointed excitedly to the right. “Damn it! That one’s for you!”
“What…” Cheng Ke turned his head in the direction Jiang Yuduo was pointing and cursed after getting a clear view. “Get lost!”
There was an elf-shaped lamp about ten meters away on the right. It bore some resemblance to the orange bear lamp but with pointed ears that hinted at its elf identity.
“Hurry up,” Jiang Yuduo urged, giving him a nudge. “Little Elf, go find your little friend.”
“You mean, go find smoke?” Cheng Ke looked at him.
“Quick,” Jiang Yuduo chuckled. “Let me see how you take pictures.”
Helplessly, Cheng Ke adjusted his coat, approached the “little partner” by holding his right arm, and stood next to it. He surveyed the surrounding light sources, adjusted the angle of his face, and settled for a side light.
Jiang Yuduo held up his phone. “Got it! One, two, three!”
Cheng Ke barely heard the countdown and didn’t have time to show any expression before Jiang Yuduo finished shooting and waved at him. “Handsome! One more!”
“…Count slowly. Your speed is faster than not counting at all,” Cheng Ke remarked.
“Okay,” Jiang Yuduo nodded.
Cheng Ke glanced at the “little partner” behind him and the girls standing nearby. He shifted slightly to the side, intending to ask Jiang Yuduo to take a profile photo of the little friend.
“Shoot! No countdown!” Jiang Yuduo instructed.
Cheng Ke smiled.
“Okay!” Jiang Yuduo nodded.
Just as Cheng Ke was about to go over and look at the photos, a little girl passed by and exclaimed, “Wow, this handsome guy!”
Cheng Ke turned his head and gave her a glance.
“Can I take a photo with you?” the little girl asked, a little shyly.
“…Okay,” Cheng Ke hesitated for a moment and nodded. He had encountered similar situations before, where little girls wanted to take photos after his performances.
“Thank you,” the little girl quickly stood beside him and pointed ahead. “My friend is over there.”
Cheng Ke smiled in that direction, and two seconds later, another little girl waved at him. “Okay!”
“Thank you, handsome guy!” The little girl beamed at him, then ran over to join her friend. The two of them huddled together, looking at their phones.
Cheng Ke turned around and walked back to Jiang Yuduo. Just as he was about to check his phone, he noticed that Jiang Yuduo was looking at the two little girls with a displeased expression.
“What’s wrong?” Cheng Ke asked.
“You really have no sense of caution,” Jiang Yuduo said. “You’ll take pictures for anyone who asks?”
“They’re just high school girls,” Cheng Ke sighed. “It’s fine to take a photo. Are you jealous?”
Jiang Yuduo clicked his tongue and handed Cheng Ke the phone. “I’ve noticed that your photos and videos always look great, and you hardly capture other people in them.”
“Thank you,” Cheng Ke chuckled. “I appreciate your praise.”
“How about…” Jiang Yuduo hesitated for a moment, then glanced at the girls nearby. “Should we ask them to take a picture for us too?”
“Huh?” Cheng Ke smiled. “You’re not worried anymore?”
“Then let’s take a selfie,” Jiang Yuduo quickly changed his mind, raising his phone and putting his arm around Cheng Ke’s shoulder.
Cheng Ke leaned in, but before he could even see their expressions on the phone, Jiang Yuduo had already pressed the shutter.
“Third brother,” Cheng Ke said helplessly. “Please, can we have some time to compose ourselves?”
“Oh well, if you say so, I’ll just snap away,” Jiang Yuduo raised his phone again. “I don’t have much to do anyway. Should I fold my expressions neatly for you?”
“Shut up!” Cheng Ke exclaimed.
Jiang Yuduo fell silent and looked towards the camera with Cheng Ke.
Cheng Ke turned his head towards Jiang Yuduo, and Jiang Yuduo glanced back at him, then they both faced the camera.
“Is that it?” Jiang Yuduo asked.
“Yes,” Cheng Ke replied. “Now, smile.”
Jiang Yuduo smiled, but just as Cheng Ke’s smile was beginning, Jiang Yuduo’s smile had already faded. Cheng Ke couldn’t help but exclaim, “Hold it!”
Jiang Yuduo was taken aback and then burst into laughter. “Damn, I forgot.”
That genuine and handsome smile lingered on Jiang Yuduo’s face. Cheng Ke quickly raised his hand and pressed the shutter.
Finally, he managed to capture a normal picture of Jiang Yuduo. He checked the photo on Jiang Yuduo’s phone, then sent it to his own device.
Please let me know if there are typos/mistakes in the chapter.
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