Translator: Lynn
Sponsored chapter (3/3)
Sister Luo spoke slowly and softly. During the drive from the airport to the hotel, she engaged in casual conversation, creating a very relaxed atmosphere for Cheng Ke. However, Jiang Yuduo, who was seated beside him, remained somewhat tense and rigid. Cheng Ke keenly perceived these bodily signals of resistance and unease.
Cheng Ke continued to hold his right hand, gently rubbing his fingertips against his palm.
As the car halted at the hotel entrance, Jiang Yuduo tightly gripped Cheng Ke’s fingers.
“In the afternoon and evening, I’m available,” Sister Luo turned her head with a smile and mentioned, “If you’d like to chat tomorrow, it’s fine. I’m on a break these two days, and the timing can suit Xiao Jiang’s preferences.”
“Sure,” Cheng Ke agreed with a nod, “I’ll contact you in advance.”
After exiting the car, Sister Luo didn’t linger. The vehicle soon drove away, and Jiang Yuduo audibly breathed a sigh of relief.
“Let’s settle in our belongings first,” Cheng Ke suggested as they entered the hotel, “Take a rest, and you can decide when Sister Luo comes out.”
“During the afternoon,” Jiang Yuduo followed behind him, but quickly corrected himself, “Or maybe the evening.”
“Yeah,” Cheng Ke affirmed.
“No, afternoon,” Jiang Yuduo interjected again.
“Alright,” Cheng Ke still nodded.
While checking in at the front desk, Jiang Yuduo whispered once more: “Now…”
“Now?” Cheng Ke was a bit surprised and promptly gestured for him to calm down. “No need to rush, either afternoon or evening works fine.”
“Let’s go eat now,” Jiang Yuduo stated softly, “I’m hungry.”
“Sure,” Cheng Ke agreed, studying him and nodding.
It was evident that Jiang Yuduo was well acquainted with the city. He even understood the local dialect spoken by the driver when they headed out for lunch.
Cheng Ke contemplated asking him about his long-term connection to the city. But he hesitated, uncertain whether this was a place where Jiang Yuduo had once resided or if it held memories of his childhood.
Jiang Yuduo didn’t take him to a local eatery known for its distinctive cuisine; instead, he led Cheng Ke to a regular Western restaurant, the kind that can be found in any city.
“Is it too warm?” Jiang Yuduo inquired.
“It’s fine,” Cheng Ke shrugged off his coat, “My jacket is pretty lightweight.”
Jiang Yuduo didn’t continue the conversation, engrossing himself in eating after placing their orders. He remained focused on his meal and didn’t raise his gaze.
Cheng Ke found his appetite waning; he stopped eating after a few bites and observed Jiang Yuduo while sipping water.
Jiang Yuduo polished off the steak on his plate and proceeded to finish the untouched portion on Cheng Ke’s plate. After wiping his mouth, he leaned back in his chair with a soft sigh.
“Are you full?” Cheng Ke inquired.
“Yes,” Jiang Yuduo affirmed, “I’m satisfied.”
“You can always eat more if you get hungry later,” Cheng Ke grinned, “It’s a one-time meal for me.”
“But what if I can’t find anything to eat when I’m hungry?” Jiang Yuduo also smiled, briefly looking out of the window. His expression froze momentarily before returning to normal. “Cheng Ke.”
“Yeah?” Cheng Ke followed his gaze. The sky outside appeared slightly overcast, bustling with pedestrians and vehicles.
“If Sister Luo told me something, would you believe it?” Jiang Yuduo turned his attention back to Cheng Ke.
Cheng Ke took a moment to contemplate. “I will assess the information on my own.”
“If I tell you not to trust her,” Jiang Yuduo continued, “would you heed my words?”
Cheng Ke was taken aback.
“Have faith in her,” Jiang Yuduo bit his lip, “don’t listen to me.”
After a prolonged pause, Cheng Ke finally nodded and responded softly, “Alright.”
Jiang Yuduo phoned Sister Luo and set up a meeting at 3:30, choosing a coffee shop not far from the hotel as their rendezvous point.
“You can play with some cats there,” Jiang Yuduo mentioned, “The shop is home to more than a dozen cats, each with its own unique traits.”
“Sure,” Cheng Ke replied.
“I won’t eavesdrop on your conversation,” Jiang Yuduo stated, “I’ll just entertain myself with the cats.” Cheng Ke didn’t respond verbally but embraced him tightly, then turned and playfully nipped at his neck. “No matter what transpires in your chat with Sister Luo today, it won’t alter our relationship.”
“Yes,” Jiang Yuduo affirmed.
“I’m here to support you and stand by your side,” Cheng Ke assured.
“Mmm,” Jiang Yuduo responded softly, burying his face in Cheng Ke’s shoulder.
The café was fairly quiet during the afternoon hours, with only a few customers present. Two tables were arranged on the outdoor terrace, and the interior was largely empty.
Cheng Ke and Jiang Yuduo had arrived at the cafe twenty minutes earlier and chose a corner spot near the window. Before Sister Luo’s arrival, Jiang Yuduo excused himself to wash his hands and then settled at a table by the opposite window, amusing himself by playing with a cat.
Cheng Ke observed this without interruption, his gaze drifting to a slumbering kitten on the window sill beside him, lost in thought.
Sister Luo entered the coffee shop promptly at 3:30. Cheng Ke stood up, his nerves somewhat heightened.
“Am I running late?” Sister Luo approached with a smile.
“No, we arrived ahead of time,” Cheng Ke responded, pulling out a chair for her. “I was just finding a suitable spot.”
As he reached to take Sister Luo’s coat, she lightly tapped his arm with a smile. “Do you have extra hands? Sit down comfortably.”
Cheng Ke seated himself, his attention shifting to Jiang Yuduo, who was now resting his head on the table with his back to them. A white cat was enjoying the sun’s warmth on the table, positioned head to head with Jiang Yuduo.
Sister Luo placed an order for a cup of coffee. Once the server had left, Cheng Ke didn’t beat around the bush and went straight to the point: “Mr. Luo, I’m not sure what Jiang Yuduo has told you, and I’m uncertain about what I should reveal. However, what I do know is that Jiang Yuduo is in pain right now, and he’s hoping that I can assist him…”
Sister Luo nodded in understanding.
“He mentioned… being saved,” Cheng Ke continued, “How can I save him?”
“Before we proceed, could you share some details about your relationship?” Sister Luo inquired. “I’ve known Xiao Jiang for ten years, and I’ve been closely monitoring his situation. Emotional states can differ significantly among patients, so I’d like to have a basic understanding of Xiao Jiang’s decision-making.”
This question left Cheng Ke in a bit of a bind. The relationship between them was undoubtedly unique, as Sister Luo had mentioned. Jiang Yuduo had never spoken of any friend’s name to her, let alone brought anyone to meet her.
A close friend, an extremely close friend, a special friend—none of these seemed fitting.
Cheng Ke cast another glance at Jiang Yuduo. He was still lying on the table, gently pinching a cat’s ear between his fingers. At first glance, Cheng Ke noticed the reddened circles under his eyes, though there were no tears.
“Hmm?” Jiang Yuduo didn’t shift from his position, merely stealing a glance in his direction.
“Sister Luo cares deeply about you. She wants to understand the nature of our relationship first,” Cheng Ke spoke softly.
“Boyfriend,” Jiang Yuduo softly interjected.
“Alright, I’ll inform her then,” Cheng Ke reassured him with a pat on the hand.
“Feel free to say whatever,” Jiang Yuduo responded, “You can tell her everything you want.”
“Sure thing,” Cheng Ke affirmed.
Returning to their table and resuming his seat, Cheng Ke cleared his throat, “I’m Jiang Yuduo’s…boyfriend.”
“I had a sense of that,” Sister Luo responded, unruffled by the revelation. She nodded with a smile. “When I saw you at the airport, I had a hunch.”
“Really?” Cheng Ke felt a touch embarrassed.
“On that note, I must admit I’m quite surprised,” Sister Luo remarked.
Cheng Ke lowered his head and took a sip of his coffee.
“It’s not surprising that Xiao Jiang has a boyfriend,” Sister Luo smiled, “I would also be surprised if Xiao Jiang had a girlfriend. He has his own distinct definition of intimacy, and meeting his criteria is quite challenging.”
Cheng Ke remembered Jiang Yuduo’s remarks about “friends.”
“But when he acknowledges someone as a friend, he goes all out,” Cheng Ke remarked.
“He fears losing people, and he attributes the departures of those he believes have left his life to his own mistakes,” Sister Luo stated, “So, in order to minimize these errors, he exerts significant effort in refining and narrowing down the requirements for being his ‘friend’.”
Cheng Ke let out a soft sigh, “This is linked to his childhood experiences, isn’t it?”
“His childhood?” Sister Luo gazed at him, “Did Xiao Jiang discuss this with you?”
“Yes, he brought it up briefly,” Cheng Ke nodded.
Sister Luo’s expression showed clear surprise. After a pause, she inquired further, “What did he tell you?”
“I now have a rough idea of where he was confined during his childhood. He went through quite…harsh training and competitions. He mentioned his parents, among other things…” Cheng Ke replied, glancing over at Jiang Yuduo with a contemplative expression.
“And did he tell you all of this?” Sister Luo asked, her surprise now directed at Jiang Yuduo.
“Yes,” Cheng Ke confirmed.
“He never shared any of this with me,” Sister Luo looked at Cheng Ke.
Cheng Ke was taken aback, then abruptly sat up straight.
“But I was already aware of the pertinent details, said Sister Luo addressing his confusion. “Prior to our contact, I had full knowledge of his situation. However, he wouldn’t voluntarily disclose such information to me. Except, perhaps, to you… He likely wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“His closest friend isn’t aware of it,” Cheng Ke said, relieved by this revelation. However, the term “case” that Sister Luo used stirred discomfort within him. After a moment, he turned to her and inquired, “Who are the parents he mentioned?”
“His birth mother and stepfather,” Sister Luo responded.
A shiver ran down Cheng Ke’s spine, and he felt a tinge of panic.
“He was subjected to ‘training’ from the age of around four. Consequently, his mother, who was initially a source of trust, transformed into a source of fear. The damage inflicted upon him is beyond imagination,” Sister Luo explained, “Hence, he resists and struggles with forming close relationships. Intimacy is a significant challenge for him.”
Cheng Ke was rendered speechless.
“As for the other ‘puppies,’ they were essentially purchased children,” Sister Luo held her fingers up, “Some people are into dog fighting, some engage in dog trading, and others derive entertainment from these activities. When these individuals are apprehended, the children involved are rescued. They all have severe issues. Remarkably, Xiao Jiang’s situation is comparatively less severe.”
“Really?” Cheng Ke struggled to encapsulate his emotions upon hearing this.
“The most severely affected child committed suicide when he was sixteen,” Sister Luo let out a sigh.
Cheng Ke remained stunned for a considerable period of time.
Some children resort to suicide.
When the agony becomes unbearable, death might seem like the only relief.
Returning to the present, he suddenly felt anxious: “So, what about Jiang Yuduo…”
“I conducted assessments on him previously,” Sister Luo explained. “He doesn’t exhibit explicit suicidal tendencies, and his mental distress differs from that of other children…”
“He’s able to see those entities,” Cheng Ke interjected, “Is this his way of coping?”
“It’s his method of escape. Auditory hallucinations, visual illusions, self-inflicted harm—these mechanisms help him endure the agony stemming from his past,” Sister Luo elucidated. “It’s a way to evade facing the reality that he would continue to suffer mentally even after being rescued.”
It took Cheng Ke around two minutes to fully grasp Sister Luo’s words, “Self-inflicted harm?”
“Yes,” Sister Luo confirmed. “You’ve seen the injuries he sustains after direct contact with ‘them’.”
“Yes,” Cheng Ke replied softly.
He’d witnessed those injuries multiple times—on Jiang Yuduo’s head, on his hands—wounds that no one had seen occurring.
“Then, during his acts of self-harm…” Cheng Ke’s forehead creased, “Was he unaware? Did he not realize that he was hurting himself, or…”
“He was aware,” Sister Luo lifted her coffee and then set it down again. “That’s why he deliberately avoids people.”
“He knew?” Cheng Ke stared at Sister Luo, his thoughts becoming muddled.
“Yes,” Sister Luo said as she sipped her coffee, her brows furrowing. “He recognizes that he suffers from a mental disorder, that his perceptions aren’t real, and that he’ll inflict harm upon himself. At times, his lack of emotional control might even lead to him harming others.”
Cheng Ke felt a slight tremor in his hands. Setting down his spoon, he concealed his hands beneath the table and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, “How can I assist him?”
“If he commits to ongoing therapy,” Sister Luo responded, “we could achieve some degree of control. However…”
“What?” Cheng Ke inquired promptly.
“He needs to face his issues and collaborate,” Sister Luo stated. “He’s undergone extensive treatment, so he comprehends the line of questioning therapists follow, why they ask specific questions, and what answers would lead to a ‘normal’ evaluation. It’s clear to him. Yet, if he can’t cooperate…”
Cheng Ke’s head throbbed, a pang shooting from his forehead to the back of his head.
He shut his eyes, attempting to regulate his emotions, “So, when he came to you this time, does that imply he’s willing to face his issues and cooperate?”
“You could interpret it that way,” Sister Luo agreed. “Nevertheless, the duration and effectiveness of this state remain uncertain. Yet, it is indeed a promising sign, and I’m rather surprised.”
Cheng Ke and Sister Luo had been conversing for nearly two hours. There was a clock on the wall, but Jiang Yuduo hadn’t glanced at it. Nonetheless, he could gauge the passage of time almost instinctively.
He could almost anticipate the topics of their discussion.
At this moment, his hands were icy, his body’s every joint felt rigid, and his mind was an empty void.
From the moment Jiang Yuduo sought Cheng Ke’s assistance, anxiety and panic clung to him relentlessly, unrelenting even for a moment.
He dreaded the prospect of no next year, the idea that Cheng Ke might vanish, and the possibility of being trapped in this state for the remainder of his life.
Yet, he was acutely aware that all of Cheng Ke’s assumptions about him had merely been conjectures. The moment Sister Luo unveiled his truths, Cheng Ke faced not only his actual self, but also those commitments.
But it didn’t matter.
It was alright.
Fine.
Cheng Ke would lend his aid, save him. Regardless of whatever transpired in his conversation with Sister Luo, their bond would remain unchanged.
Jiang Yuduo had severed all his avenues of escape, and he had even beseeched Cheng Ke to have faith in Sister Luo rather than in him.
However, he dared not speculate about Cheng Ke’s course of action.
Would there be another birthday next year?
Would strawberry wine still be a part of their lives?
Would he still be Cheng Ke’s boyfriend…
He couldn’t discern when Cheng Ke had seated himself across from him. It wasn’t until Cheng Ke’s gentle call that he roused from his reverie, abruptly straightening up.
The cat that had been dozing on the table leaped away, startled.
“What’s on your mind?” Cheng Ke inquired with a smile, gazing at him.
Jiang Yuduo turned his head, noticing the vacant table—Sister Luo had already departed.
He turned his attention back to Cheng Ke, questioning, “Is the conversation finished?”
“Yes,” Cheng Ke affirmed.
Jiang Yuduo continued observing him, silent.
Cheng Ke appeared fatigued, his complexion somewhat pallid.
“Are you hungry?” Cheng Ke inquired. “Would you like something to eat?”
“Not hungry,” Jiang Yuduo replied. “Shall we head back?”
“Alright,” Cheng Ke agreed, nodding. “We’ll return to the hotel for the night. I’ve already booked a flight for tomorrow morning.”
“And after we return?” Jiang Yuduo inquired.
“After we return, I’ll likely be occupied with the opening of the store there,” Cheng Ke stated.
Jiang Yuduo hesitated for a considerable duration before finally posing in a hushed voice, “What about me?”
“You’ll be by my side,” Cheng Ke assured. “Things will likely be hectic post-opening. Would you like to help me?”
“Really?” Jiang Yuduo’s own voice trembled.
“Absolutely,” Cheng Ke affirmed, drawing closer. “But there’s one condition you must agree to.”
“Yes,” Jiang Yuduo assented.
“Starting now, regardless of what you witness or hear,” Cheng Ke said earnestly, “share it with me.”
Jiang Yuduo stared at him.
“I’ll hold onto you, pull you back, and rescue you,” Cheng Ke declared. “I won’t let you slip away. But you also need to want me to hold onto you, understand?”
Jiang Yuduo nodded.
“It’s often said that when you care for someone, you shouldn’t anticipate reciprocation for your deeds,” Cheng Ke remarked. “That’s bullshit. If I give, you must repay me. If I hold on to you, you can’t get rid of me. Understand?”
“Yes, yes,” Jiang Yuduo concurred.
Please let me know if there are typos/mistakes in the chapter.