After work in the evening, Lin Hui and He Jian Shan arrived on time at the new restaurant opened by Xue Pei.
The restaurant, named “Hidden Fresh”, is located on the gourmet street on the west side of Jinghua City, specializing in seafood. Xue Pei bought an old building at the end of the street, themed around ships and the sea, and had it redesigned by a designer. The redesign not only elevated its class but also enhanced the ambiance.
As they settled in a private room, Xue Pei joined them. Noting the table full of seafood and Xue Pei’s enthusiasm in urging them to eat without showing any signs of leaving, He Jian Shan asked, “It seems pretty busy in the restaurant. Don’t you need to help out?”
“No worries, we have enough staff. Besides, I’ve put in the money; should I also exert effort? That’d make being a boss meaningless,” Xue Pei responded.
Lin Hui glanced at He Jian Shan with a smile, “The busiest ones at Wan Zhu Group are always the bosses.”
“I can’t compare with your President He. Look at how close we are, yet I can barely get an appointment with him, not even by booking half a month in advance.”
“But he’s here today, isn’t that the same?”
Shaking his head, Xue Pei remarked, “It’s really not the same. If you had come straight here yesterday upon your return, I could have added bluefin tuna to the table.” He complained further, “I told you to come right after you landed. Lin Hui doesn’t work on Sundays, he could have come earlier too. Was your matter really that important that you couldn’t even have dinner?”
He Jian Shan chuckled, “Matters of life.”
Lin Hui, feeling his face heat up, dared not look at He Jian Shan and simply kept his head down, focusing on the food.
As the three chatted, the topic drifted from the design of “Hidden Fresh” to the renovation of He Jian Shan’s house. Xue Pei suddenly turned to Lin Hui and asked, “Lin Hui, have you been to Old He’s house?”
“I have, why?”
“Did you see that bathtub?” Xue Pei got excited, “His bathroom is pretty luxurious, especially that bathtub—it looks super indulgent.”
Lin Hui couldn’t help but sneak a peek at He Jian Shan, who was looking back at him. They exchanged glances briefly before Lin Hui averted his eyes and stuttered, “Oh, that…”
Xue Pei, enthused, continued, “The first time I saw it, I was so envious, I really wanted it, but it’s too expensive for me to afford. Do you think it’s a waste on Old He? He’s not into enjoying such things; he’d rather let it collect dust than use it.”
Noncommittal, He Jian Shan responded, “Who told you I don’t use it?”
“You’d probably use it to keep fish rather than take a bath,” Xue Pei asserted confidently.
“You’re right, it’s for keeping fish.”
Bewildered, Xue Pei exclaimed, “Huh? Really? What kind of fish?”
He Jian Shan paused, “Mermaids.”
“—cough, cough—”
As He Jian Shan and Xue Pei turned to the person coughing dramatically, Lin Hui, with a red face, explained, “Sorry, this is a bit spicy, got choked.”
Seeing it was chili-fried razor clams, Xue Pei quickly stood up, “Then I better tell the chef not to make it too spicy. Old He said you can handle your spice, but if even you think it’s too much, then it definitely isn’t right.” He then left to speak to the chef.
With just the two of them left, the room suddenly became quiet.
He Jian Shan placed a glass of coconut milk in front of Lin Hui, “Water doesn’t relieve spice, drink this instead.”
Lin Hui glared at him.
He Jian Shan, feeling a bit amused yet innocent, said, “Assistant Lin, you’re using that trick again.”
At that moment, Lin Hui felt his face could steam seafood, trapped between acknowledging—he’d be admitting he’s the mermaid—or denying, which felt embarrassingly silly. He thought, Is this the He Jian Shan I know? Is he using his business tactics on me now?
Normally articulate, Assistant Lin found himself suddenly lost for words.
“You’re just picking on me,” Lin Hui muttered, slipping into a respectful tone despite himself.
He Jian Shan laughed again and stretched his hand towards Lin Hui, “Come here, Lin Hui.”
Hesitating for a moment, Lin Hui then slowly placed his hand in He Jian Shan’s palm.
He Jian Shan gripped his hand.
Perhaps due to the air conditioning inside, He Jian Shan’s palm was warm, slightly damp with perspiration. He whispered softly, “See, I sweat too. I get nervous.”
Lin Hui burst into laughter, “I don’t believe you.”
“I—”
Just as He Jian Shan was about to say something, they heard the door lock click, and Lin Hui swiftly withdrew his hand. Sure enough, Xue Pei walked in, carrying a plate of garlic steamed razor clams, and saw He Jian Shan watching him expressionlessly while Lin Hui gulped down his drink.
Xue Pei presented the dish, “…this razor clam is especially plump.”
He set the dish on the table and resumed his seat, “Speaking of which, you two seem to have switched roles today—”
Pointing at He Jian Shan, “Old He, you’re unusually talkative—”
He Jian Shan, typically reticent even when drinking privately, was uncharacteristically chatty today, his desire to express himself seemingly more intense.
Then he turned to Lin Hui, “And Lin Hui, silent as a mouse.”
Having frequently dined with Lin Hui due to He Jian Shan’s habit of bringing him along, Xue Pei was quite familiar with both. Normally, it was he and Lin Hui who would chatter ceaselessly. Lin Hui naturally had a strong affinity for conversation, able to chat pleasantly with anyone.
Xue Pei’s suspicious gaze darted between the two, Lin Hui appearing quite composed, “Is it because your seafood is so delicious, Mr. Xue? I’m busy eating!”
Xue Pei frowned, shaking his head, “You guys didn’t have a work dispute, did you?”
He Jian Shan, half amused, “Xue Pei, actually we—”
“No quarrels,” Lin Hui suddenly interjected, cutting off He Jian Shan. He Jian Shan paused, turning to him, but Lin Hui avoided his gaze, smiling at Xue Pei, “Just tired from a day’s work, didn’t feel like talking.”
“Then eat up, get some energy back.”
After dinner, He Jian Shan drove Lin Hui home. Concerned they might drink at Xue Pei’s place, they had come in one car. Lin Hui sat in the passenger seat, feeling somewhat uneasy. He kept glancing at He Jian Shan, unable to resist asking, “Are you angry?”
He Jian Shan looked at him, “I’m not angry.”
He paused, then continued, “Did you interrupt me today because you were worried I’d reveal that we’re dating?”
Lin Hui was silent for a moment, then nodded.
“I wasn’t actually going to talk about that. But now, I’m curious, why didn’t you want to mention it?”
As they arrived at the destination, Lin Hui stepped out of the car, and a cold wind made him sneeze. Before he could react, He Jian Shan had already wrapped a scarf around his neck. The scarf, warmed by the car’s heater, caused Lin Hui to pause momentarily before softly saying, “This scarf was a gift from me to you.”
He Jian Shan, puzzled by his surprise, replied, “Yes, you remember.”
How could Lin Hui forget?
Wan Zhu Group offers a birthday benefit: on their birthday, employees receive a gift, half-day leave, a 500 yuan shopping card, and a small cake—even He Jian Shan was no exception. But throughout Wan Zhu, perhaps only He Jian Shan never took advantage of this benefit: he never used the leave; the cake was always shared with other office staff; and the shopping card, he usually handed directly to Lin Hui.
Initially, Lin Hui didn’t understand the gesture, and He Jian Shan had simply said, “Keep it,” before leaving. Lin Hui thought he was supposed to buy something for him, so he kept the card in his drawer until further instructions. When He Jian Shan’s birthday came around the next year, another card was tossed to him, and then he realized the cards were intended for him.
Year after year, a card each birthday. By the sixth year, the administrative staff simply handed the shopping card directly to Lin Hui. Lin Hui was at a loss; he pulled open the drawer, where five neatly arranged cards lay. He thought: Is this what you call celebrating a birthday?
He had grown up without parents, and although his family was poor, his grandmother was meticulous about birthdays. Each year, she would prepare a delicious meal and buy him a gift. Even during his university days, when he would spend his birthday on campus, his grandmother would still remember to call him, tirelessly reminding him to treat himself well and buy a gift, urging him not to be stingy with money.
In his view, celebrating a birthday was important. Yet He Jian Shan seemed indifferent to it.
Lin Hui glanced at the figure buried in work inside the office, then looked at the card in his hand, grabbed the car keys, and left.
That afternoon, Lin Hui returned from outside, carrying a bag. He headed straight for He Jian Shan’s office.
He Jian Shan was reviewing documents and looked up at his hurried entrance, “What’s up?”
Lin Hui smiled, “Today is your birthday.”
Realizing, He Jian Shan lowered his head back to the contracts, “Distribute the cake, and the card you just—”
A paper bag appeared in front of He Jian Shan.
Surprised, He Jian Shan looked up.
Lin Hui scratched his head, somewhat embarrassed, “You’ve given me several cards, and I’ve never used them. I added this year’s to buy you a gift.”
He Jian Shan was silent for a long while.
Lin Hui felt awkward, “Birthdays are important. You might not need the shopping cards, but maybe you’ll like what I got. Want to take a look?”
He Jian Shan did not move for some time. It was as if he hadn’t processed the gesture, or he was hesitant, and for a moment, Lin Hui thought he seemed afraid. After a while, he slowly took the item from the paper bag—a moderately sized box, wrapped in deep blue striped paper, neatly sealed, with a red ribbon tied into a bow at the upper right corner.
It was a carefully wrapped, eagerly awaited gift.
He Jian Shan looked up at Lin Hui, who was beaming, his lips slightly curved in pride, “I ran to three stores to find this color—it suits you better, the others were too childish—Want to open it?”
He Jian Shan carefully untied the ribbon and unwrapped the paper—
Inside was a scarf, a soft, light cashmere scarf. When it touched the skin, it felt light and soft, like a breath.
He Jian Shan smiled slightly, “Thank you.”
Lin Hui seemed relieved, “Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful, I like it a lot.”
Lin Hui broke into a smile, “Then… Happy Birthday.”
He Jian Shan did not usually wear scarves. The winters in Jinghua were short, and He Jian Shan’s comings and goings were always accompanied by air conditioning and heating, rarely giving him a chance to wear it. However, each winter, he would dig it out and keep it in his car, always thinking that maybe one day a sudden cold spell would necessitate wearing the scarf to fend off the chill.
•
The two returned from their reverie and looked at each other again.
Lin Hui, stroking the scarf, whispered, “I’ve never seen you wear it, thought you didn’t like it.”
“This is my birthday gift, remember to return it.”
Lin Hui buried his face in the scarf and laughed, “You don’t wear it anyway.”
The two joked and started walking slowly towards home. After all, it was winter, and after nine o’clock, there wasn’t a soul on the streets of the residential area. He Jian Shan took Lin Hui’s hand and tucked it into his own pocket.
“Alright, now tell me what you’re thinking.”
The night wind rustled through the leaves, the heavy rain from the day before leaving no trace. But for Lin Hui, everything was still before his eyes—he hadn’t yet recovered, hadn’t awakened from the overwhelming joy of He Jian Shan’s confession of falling in love.
“We’ve only been together a day… I might… not be used to it yet…”
As Lin Hui spoke, even he found it absurd: he had secretly loved He Jian Shan for so many years, and now that they were finally together, he felt it was too soon and uncomfortable, even though they had already shared the most intimate of moments. He felt disheartened, unsure how to describe his feelings to He Jian Shan—it sounded strange and pretentious.
But He Jian Shan nodded, “You’re right.” He squeezed Lin Hui’s fingers in his pocket, “Then let’s start by getting used to holding hands—does that make you uncomfortable?”
Lin Hui shook his head. How could it be uncomfortable? In fact, it was too comfortable—their bodies fit so well together, the tremors and longing from the depths of their souls nearly made Lin Hui unable to face himself.
He Jian Shan chuckled softly, “Do you wonder why I can be so calm and natural about this, about being in love?”
He Jian Shan guessed correctly. Lin Hui indeed felt that way, even a bit resentful: it was he who liked He Jian Shan first, so why did it seem like he couldn’t compete with him in love?
“Do you consciously notice how you breathe?” He Jian Shan suddenly asked an unrelated question.
Lin Hui shook his head.
“All this time, I’ve been alone, and it took me a long time to realize what ‘love’ is. It’s hard to distinguish, just like breathing—I simply don’t notice it. But once I understood, everything I say or do in your presence becomes as natural as breathing.”
Love tamed time; it melted into every second, every glance, every moment of passing by, and He Jian Shan could no longer separate it from his life.
As if remembering something, He Jian Shan smiled again, “Actually, yesterday, as I walked this road to find you, I kept wondering, why is this road so long, why haven’t you appeared yet? I wanted to ask you to the movies, tell you I want to pursue you, thinking whether to apologize first or speak directly, my mind was a mess. Even when I saw you, I was still unsure of what to do.”
Lin Hui was slightly stunned; he didn’t know that the usually rational and calm He Jian Shan could have such flustered moments.
“Even now, if you ask what I like about you, I might still not have an answer,” He Jian Shan admitted reluctantly, “It’s hard to explain. Even now, with you by my side, even holding your hand, I—”
He Jian Shan stopped walking, turned, and looked at Lin Hui, “I still miss you.”
“I say all this to tell you, Lin Hui, I can’t be without you, I can’t wait to establish a relationship with you, and you hold the control over this relationship.”
“Don’t worry about anything, just follow your heart, accept if you want to, reject if you want, or play around—”
Lin Hui couldn’t help but shout, “That’s not an option!”
His voice was so loud it seemed even the wind was frightened into a brief pause; the two fell silent for a few seconds, then laughed together.
He Jian Shan smoothed Lin Hui’s wind-blown hair, carefully looking at him, “Like all lovers, you can ask me to do anything.”
After a long while, Lin Hui spoke softly, “Can I?”
He Jian Shan nodded.
Lin Hui’s eyes brightened, he pulled his hand from He Jian Shan’s pocket, stepped back, and said, “Hug me, He Jian Shan, hug me.”
Winter was wonderful.
Lin Hui thought, he never knew winter could be so warm—
Not the heating and the sunlight, not coffee and milk tea, nor thick clothes and the coziness of a 6 a.m. bed, but him wearing He Jian Shan’s scarf, then being fully and tightly embraced by him.
They shared their heartbeats, their warmth, and those expressed or unexpressed declarations of love.
He thought: This winter, truly, is wonderful.
Author’s Note:
It seems everyone is surprised at how “skilled” President He is. Actually, President He has always been very capable: in the bar, cheering up Lin Hui, buying him drinks, playing his favorite songs, even writing little notes; back in Changning, saying Lin Hui quitting horticulture was “everyone’s loss but my fortune”—he had already started flirting unconsciously then. He’s slow to warm up in relationships, but he’s not awkward; in fact, he’s very eloquent. I’ve mentioned before, when he’s at the dinner table making lively conversation, no one can take their eyes off him. Although there’s a bit of a performance element in his work, so Lin Hui always felt he was tired, because he’s not naturally talkative, yet his position requires him to be. But dating Lin Hui is different; driven by love, he’s fully engaged, truly very cheeky and expressive, tsk tsk, men…
