After saying goodbye to Luo Ting and Gu Wenli’s family, Lin Hui and He Jian Shan headed back. During dinner, He Jian Shan had a bit to drink, so Lin Hui drove the car. As they passed by Ming Yue Lake Plaza, He Jian Shan suddenly said, “Let’s take a walk over there.”
“Now?” Lin Hui asked, already steering the car toward the plaza’s parking lot despite his words.
Named for its resemblance to a full moon, Ming Yue Lake was surrounded by high-end malls and office buildings, making this little-known man-made lake a bustling landmark of Jinghua City. The ground lights of Ming Yue Lake Plaza sparkled like stars, just as Lin Hui had described. As they walked across the plaza, He Jian Shan naturally reached for Lin Hui’s hand, only to see him quickly retract it. “There are too many people.”
“No one knows us here.”
“But, if someone takes a photo, they will.”
He Jian Shan chuckled, “I’m not a celebrity, let’s just be open about it.”
Lin Hui pleaded, “Think about the company, think about the shareholders, think about how busy it is at the end of the year. The PR department would go crazy.”
He Jian Shan sighed deeply, “Assistant Lin, what to do? I’m just an ordinary person. I get sick, I can be lazy, I get angry, and I want to hold hands and walk openly with the person I like on such a night.”
His words made Lin Hui feel incredibly guilty. He looked around and, finding a moment when there were fewer people, quickly put on his hood and gently pulled He Jian Shan, touching his face with his lips for a fleeting moment.
A brief kiss that made He Jian Shan sincerely think Lin Hui was adorably crazy.
The winter breeze by the lake was strong. People were either bundled up in scarves and gloves or kept their hands in their pockets, unwilling to take them out. Only He Jian Shan and Lin Hui casually swung their arms, their hands occasionally touching and fingers secretly hooking together before quickly parting, waiting for the next encounter.
Hidden in the constant stream of people, they carried on a secret romance only the wind knew about.
“Tell me about your university days,” He Jian Shan started.
“University? It was quite ordinary, a routine of classroom, dorm, and library, a simple life.”
“Any fun stories?”
Lin Hui thought for a moment, “There were many fun moments, but you’re asking now, I can’t quite remember them all; it’s been so many years since graduation. Ah, one thing, our school’s second canteen had this chicken soup rice that was really delicious.”
He Jian Shan replied, “…So it’s basically rice soaked in soup, right?”
Lin Hui laughed heartily, “Seriously, the second canteen was far from our dorm, but every winter, we’d definitely go there. Imagine braving the cold wind to the canteen, ordering a bowl of rice with chicken soup, and they’d add an egg to it. It was served steaming hot, truly a delight that I haven’t had since graduation.”
“The second canteen’s bestseller was actually peanut milk. I usually don’t drink that kind of stuff, but even I found it tasty. Back then, our dorm leader was dating and would queue up to buy it for his girlfriend every day. We all got to share it too, hahaha.”
Encouraged by He Jian Shan, Lin Hui began recalling one story after another about his university days:
“You know I studied horticulture. Our department was at the old campus, right next to the experimental fields, and near the university’s staff residential area. The cucumbers and tomatoes we grew were often sold cheaply right at the residential area entrance. The elderly loved them and praised how tasty they were, though most were actually sent to the canteen.”
“Oh, and there was Lei Ge from our dorm, another guy, whose girlfriend was from the management department. When Lei Ge was courting her, he always brought her tomatoes. It was like not letting the ‘fertile water flow into others’ fields’, but after they broke up, his girlfriend still missed our tomatoes, which was hilarious.”
He Jian Shan curiously asked, “Everyone in your dorm was in a relationship, didn’t you date anyone?”
“There were plenty of handsome guys at our school, who would notice me?”
He Jian Shan didn’t believe it, “Luo Ting said many pursued you in college, surely there was someone you liked?”
“Don’t listen to his nonsense, I never dated in college.”
“Oh?”
Lin Hui realized something was off, “He Jian Shan, are you trying to get something out of me?”
He Jian Shan laughed softly, “No. Not even hand-holding is allowed, nor getting to know you better?”
Lin Hui was resigned, “You’re one to talk. Think about yourself. Let me count how many private dinners with women I’ve arranged for you, 1, 2, 3…”
Lin Hui playfully counted on his fingers, and He Jian Shan quickly confessed, “It’s all work, nothing romantic.”
Lin Hui paused, then said softly, “He Jian Shan, you can’t just have work.”
“And you.”
“No, apart from me and work, there’s so much more in the world, like the fireworks we watched that day.”
He Jian Shan fell silent.
He looked at the thinning crowd and said, “Luo Ting mentioned that when you talk about me, you think I’m very tired and always want to help me shoulder more.”
Lin Hui remained silent.
“If I say, I never really felt tired, would you believe me?”
Physical exhaustion can be relieved by a night’s sleep or a drink with friends, but mental strain from constant high-speed operation would wear down even a machine, yet He Jian Shan said he didn’t feel it.
Lin Hui lowered his gaze, “No one is never tired.”
He Jian Shan looked up at the night sky, “I used to think my whole life’s purpose was work, achieving self-satisfaction and realizing my life’s value through it. But now, my thoughts have changed.”
Lin Hui was curious, “Changed into what?”
“I want to learn from you.”
“Learn from me?” An unexpected response made Lin Hui show a surprised expression.
“Yes, to discover this interesting world. When I was in Ning Hai, I remembered you once took a photo of a blue manhole cover. You said you hadn’t seen a blue one before and found it interesting. I wondered where the interest lay, and I’m really curious. I want to know if your world is always so interesting, and what a boring person like me looks like in your eyes.”
Lin Hui was stunned.
The media had once described He Jian Shan as “the undisputed king in the business empire,” which sounded incredibly grandiose and powerful. But Lin Hui felt He Jian Shan was not a king but a gear, a constantly turning gear in the Wan Zhu building. Everyone in the building could leave or stop, but he couldn’t.
This He Jian Shan, calling himself boring.
Lin Hui wanted to say no, you are so strong, excellent, with so many wonderful qualities concentrated in you, you shouldn’t merely describe yourself with the word “boring.” But he suddenly realized, perhaps He Jian Shan was also puzzled, wondering if Lin Hui saw him as those well-known perfect qualities combined, or if there was something different? Or perhaps, he also wanted to know, what Lin Hui’s affection would be like?
He never thought that even He Jian Shan needed such straightforward affirmation from a loved one. Clearly, when He Jian Shan sincerely wanted to find the answer within a question, he would try every possibility.
And the only correct answer was in his own hands.
Love breaks through the soil of the heart, then sprouts, branches, and blossoms. And he, like an oblivious craftsman, was engrossed in water, air, and sunlight, forgetting that the rose had long bloomed.
Lin Hui stopped walking.
He Jian Shan turned back to look at him, “What’s wrong?”
Lin Hui shook his head. He looked seriously at He Jian Shan for a while, then slipped his hand into his pocket.
He Jian Shan smiled, “Is it cold? Let’s head back.”
“That day at the cinema, you didn’t come, and I was actually very upset,” Lin Hui suddenly said.
The wind made Lin Hui’s hood a bit loose, causing his voice to drift into the night air, sounding ethereal. He Jian Shan carefully adjusted the hood for him, “Yes, I know, I’ve always regretted it.”
He paused, then exhaled softly, “I always feel some things should be said face-to-face, so I didn’t make it clear over WeChat—I wanted to surprise you, I thought about it for a long time, about what to say to you at the cinema.”
Lin Hui had never heard He Jian Shan speak with such a tone before: filled with wistfulness and regret. He thought, so He Jian Shan, like him, had also filled that movie with fantasies and expectations. Even though they watched the movie later and made more happy memories, the emotions were never the same.
The two of them had gained the most important thing in life but also forever missed something. It turns out, regret is also a by-product of love.
But the essence of love has never been about by-products, but love itself.
“It’s the same if you say it now.”
He Jian Shan paused, then showed a rare, somewhat embarrassed smile, “I had planned to first hold your hand, and if you didn’t refuse, we would have held hands through the entire movie; but if you had refused, I would have let go, then waited…”
He Jian Shan rambled on a lot, like an employee who, after meticulous research, had carefully designed a project proposal and was diligently reporting to his superior. In this plan, Lin Hui was the core, the only one, the direction of all warmth, the end of infinite affection.
He Jian Shan loved him.
Lin Hui thought: He Jian Shan loves me.
He took a deep breath, “He Jian Shan—”
He Jian Shan stopped and looked at Lin Hui, waiting.
“I like you.”
He Jian Shan was momentarily stunned, then smiled, “I know.”
He had indeed once misunderstood that Lin Hui had feelings for Feng Ying, but since he and Lin Hui had become close, he knew it couldn’t be possible. Lin Hui couldn’t have liked such a person. He and Lin Hui were meant to be closer than the usual superior-subordinate relationship; this closeness was affection. He thought he would slowly turn Lin Hui’s affection into liking, then upgrade that liking to love.
But that rainy night, he saw himself in Lin Hui’s eyes. In his tears, he was like a ship, rocking and finally stopping at the harbor of his eyes.
Understanding each other’s hearts doesn’t require so much evidence; sometimes, a single tear is enough.
Lin Hui said again, “He Jian Shan, I love you.”
He Jian Shan felt a surge of warmth and couldn’t help but bend down and lightly peck Lin Hui’s lips, “Mmm, I know.”
Lin Hui spoke for the third time, “He… Jian Shan…”
His voice carried a bit of a choke, and He Jian Shan was stunned. He hurriedly reached out his hand, continuously stroking Lin Hui’s face, his fingers sweeping over his eyes, as if trying to confirm something. The pale light from the gaps in the trees fell on Lin Hui’s eyes, sparkling. He suddenly wasn’t sure if that was the light or something else—
“I… love you… for a long… long time.”
Lin Hui thought, in the matter of “love,” he would never lose.
Author’s note:
Love is truly subtle. Even though it’s been loved for so long, it’s still so hard to express. But still, it needs to be said.
