Doctor Ji’s cool hand had pushed against his shoulder, forcing him away.
Doctor Ji had pushed him away.
The expression on his face was one of shock and forbearance. He had shouted “Bo Xinghang!” as if rejecting something improper.
Rejection.
He had been so repelled that he called him “Bo Xinghang.”
Bo Xinghang glanced at Doctor Ji’s bedroom. The bed was neatly made, the curtains drawn back, and the windows closed, with no signs of anyone having been there.
He lowered his head, his long lashes hiding his eyes. He picked up the toothbrush that had fallen on the floor and tossed it aside, not bothering to brush his teeth. He quickly made his way to the kitchen.
Because of his work, Doctor Ji had an irregular eating schedule. But ever since Bo Xinghang moved in, Doctor Ji had prepared breakfast every day and put it in the fridge.
A few days ago, after Bo Xinghang had stayed up late studying, Doctor Ji had noticed the light on and, without a word, brewed some tea and brought it to him.
The next morning, Bo Xinghang found a surprise in the fridge: a proper meal prepared by Doctor Ji, accompanied by a familiar handwritten note.
—“Eat this if you get hungry at night, but don’t stay up too late.”
Such thoughtful care.
Almost every morning, when Bo Xinghang opened the fridge, he would find Doctor Ji’s notes, written in a coaxing tone with endless persistence.
But today, when he opened the refrigerator, there was no note—only yesterday’s leftover snack.
All his beautiful fantasies and expectations had vanished without a trace after that ridiculous night.
–
“Hello, Xiao Meng-jie. I’m here.”
Bo Xinghang handed some money to the driver and stepped out of the car, his long legs encased in black pants.
He scanned the hospital entrance but couldn’t see Grandma or Xiao Meng-jie. Frustrated, he brushed his hand against the cigarette pack in his pocket.
Bo Xinghang instinctively pulled his hand back but, resigned, began fiddling with the silver stud in his ear. He walked into a nearby alley and lit a cigarette.
He had been smoking less recently. The main reason was that he only felt the urge to smoke when he was truly troubled. But mostly, it was because Doctor Ji didn’t like the smell of smoke.
Since Doctor Ji was bothered by it, Bo Xinghang had been holding back even when cravings hit, afraid of annoying him with the smell.
He took a couple of puffs but found the cigarette unsatisfying. It made little difference whether he smoked or not. Sighing, he lifted his phone and spoke in a subdued tone, “I’ll be there soon.”
“Oh, you brat! Didn’t you say you were almost here!”
Grandma Bo’s voice came through Nurse Xiao Meng’s phone loudly, as she wasn’t accustomed to speaking on it.
It seemed the call was on speakerphone because Xiao Meng’s voice also came through at a more normal volume. “Don’t rush. We’re in the first-floor lounge. Grandma got tired of standing outside.”
The first-floor lounge.
Bo Xinghang had been there before, the first time he met Doctor Ji. Back then, Doctor Ji had been rushing to get him registered while he had been plotting his escape.
Now he didn’t want to run, but Doctor Ji had run away.
“Yeah, I’m on my way.” Bo Xinghang leaned against the worn wall, feeling a strange soreness in his eyes.
As he finished his cigarette, a lingering unease settled in his heart.
“Doctor Ji is just too busy to write a note. It’s not the first time. Why are you overthinking this crap? Acting like a drama queen? Damn it, you’re not a little girl.”
Bo Xinghang leaned against the wall, muttering harshly to himself, and slowly slid down to the ground.
When he arrived at the first-floor lounge, Grandma Bo was so delighted that she stood up on her own, without Nurse Xiao Meng’s help, and cheerfully greeted her grandson.
Bo Xinghang was also happy, his lips curved in a smile, though his eyes seemed unusually red.
“Oh my, grandson, when did you get a buzz cut! You’ve grown taller again, and now I really feel old!”
Grandma Bo walked over to Bo Xinghang and patted his head. The texture wasn’t great, but the old lady was still amused. “Not bad! Now you look like a real man, full of spirit!”
The haircut looked energetic, but anyone could see that Bo Xinghang’s complexion was poor.
Really poor.
There were noticeable dark circles under his eyes.
After her compliments, Grandma Bo started scolding him, “Look at you, do you even look like a young man? You didn’t wash up properly!”
“And why is the back of your clothes so dusty? Oh my, it’s a thick layer. Did you crawl through a coal mine?”
“I told you to wear brighter clothes next time, but look at you, always in black. You’re clearly handsome, but you look so lifeless!”
“Did you come straight here after waking up this morning? Have you eaten yet? When we get back, I’ll buy you something delicious. You haven’t had Grandma’s cooking for a long time, right?”
“Oh, by the way, did you ask your homeroom teacher for a leave of absence?”
Here it was again. Bo Xinghang closed his eyes, took a moment to compose himself, and chose to answer the most normal questions.
“I asked my homeroom teacher for leave yesterday. I haven’t eaten yet, so let’s eat together when we get back.”
He hadn’t been to that house in ages and wasn’t sure if his occasionally erratic mother was there. But even if she wasn’t, the place would be a mess.
Bo Xinghang’s mind was in turmoil. He pressed his hand into his pants pocket and realized the once-full pack of cigarettes was now half-empty.
Even though Doctor Ji wasn’t around, he still guiltily withdrew his hand, thinking that if Doctor Ji found out, he would definitely be angry.
“Xiao Meng-jie.”
Bo Xinghang walked over to Xiao Meng and whispered, “Thank you. I’ve transferred the money to you.”
Earlier, when he called the hospital and learned the fee had already been paid, he knew Xiao Meng had once again covered it for him.
Xiao Meng smiled. “There’s no rush to pay me back. I’m happy to do it. I’ve been taking care of Grandma for almost two years. My own grandma passed away early, so I feel like she’s my real grandma now. Don’t be so polite.”
“Alright.” Bo Xinghang’s gratitude was evident in his actions. He nodded. “I’ll treat you to a meal next time I get the chance.”
Bo Xinghang ordered a ride and had it stop at the large supermarket near the neighborhood.
He couldn’t cook and lacked the patience for grocery shopping, so this time he brought Grandma along to buy groceries, hoping to make her happy.
When they arrived home with the groceries and opened the door, they were greeted by a floor littered with cigarette butts and glass bottles.
“…”
Even though the people might have left, stepping into the house made all the unpleasant memories resurface. He frowned and silently began picking up the trash and tidying up. Grandma Bo, understanding the situation, sighed and joined him in cleaning.
–
At 11:30 PM, Doctor Ji finally emerged from the operating room.
The surgery had failed, leaving everyone in the room particularly somber.
Doctor Ji wasn’t someone who could easily lighten the mood. He simply patted those around him and said calmly, “Let’s call it a day.”
The patient was a young girl who had just entered first grade. It should have been a carefree and happy time, but the disease had taken her life.
“Sorry, we did our best.”
Words seemed inadequate to express the weight of the loss.
Doctor Ji had worked at the hospital for a long time. By the time he came out of the changing room, his emotions were under control. However, two young interns nearby, who had never faced such life-and-death situations, were quietly crying.
A girl with a ponytail said to a girl with short hair, “Waaah, it’s only twenty minutes until my birthday, but why couldn’t everything just be peaceful? Waaaah… I’ll never forget that little girl.”
“Happy birthday, waaah… It’s not even my birthday, but I won’t forget her either. It’s so painful, waaah.”
Doctor Ji paused as he walked out and turned back to ask, “Is it really only twenty minutes until midnight?”
The girl with the ponytail stared blankly at Doctor Ji, confirming that the question was directed at her. She barely held back her tears as she answered, “Y-Yes, Doctor Ji. Are you going to wish me a happy birthday?”
“…” Doctor Ji lowered his head to hide his expression. He muttered a quick “Mm” and then turned to leave.
The surgery had taken longer than expected. He had calculated the time and thought it wouldn’t be too late, but complications during the procedure had prevented him from saving the patient.
He raised his eyes and drove quickly down the street, illuminated by streetlights.
He had promised to throw a big birthday party for Xiao Xing.
After a day without seeing him, the kid must have been anxiously waiting.
–
The lights were off, and the yellowish glow from the street lamps outside cast a dim light through the window.
The young man couldn’t sleep. He sat alone by the windowsill, staring outside. This wasn’t the city center, so he could look out for an hour without seeing a single pedestrian.
He continued to watch for a while longer before checking his phone.
11:56.
Tsk.
Bo Xinghang irritably scratched his head. The freshly shaved buzz cut felt uncomfortable; the stubble was slightly prickly. His lashes drooped in annoyance.
His frustration led him to light another cigarette and take a deep drag.
He wasn’t even sure what he was looking for. Despite the pinned chat being silent all day, he still opened it, his fingers moving almost on their own as he scrolled upwards.
He stopped at Doctor Ji’s voice messages, took another drag, and pressed play.
“Xiao Xing, be good and finish your homework first, then we’ll talk later.”
“Mm, you can do whatever you want.”
“Xiao Xing, what do you want for dinner? I’ll try to make it.”
“I’ll be back late tonight. There’s frozen food in the fridge. Remember to heat it up before eating.”
“…Xiao Xing, don’t stay up late.”
Doctor Ji’s voice was gentle and low because it was late at night. Even though his tone was usually cold, it carried a trace of tenderness, patiently coaxing him not to stay up late.
Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t stay up late.
But today, he had broken almost all those rules.
Yet it didn’t seem to matter because Doctor Ji wouldn’t be coaxing him with that gentle voice anymore, and he might not even see him again.
His Doctor Ji was avoiding him.
Because, under the influence of the drug, he had frightened Doctor Ji.
His fist clenched and unclenched on his knee repeatedly until a phone call jolted him awake.
Seeing the caller ID, his heart raced several beats faster. His hand holding the phone trembled slightly as he stared at the screen in disbelief.
“…Hello?”
Bo Xinghang had lost track of how many cigarettes he had smoked today, but when he spoke, he realized he had smoked too much. His throat was so hoarse that he could barely get out a simple “Hello.”
The voice on the other end was familiar. Doctor Ji said calmly, “Come downstairs.”
Without hesitation, Bo Xinghang rushed downstairs. Pressing the elevator button, he grew impatient with its slow ascent and instead sprinted down the stairs.
The wind rushed past his ears, carrying his anxious thoughts as he dashed forward.
Bo Xinghang reached downstairs, panting heavily with his arms resting on his knees. When he looked up, he saw Doctor Ji, who he had been longing to see, smiling at him.
11:59:59
The boy’s heart raced.
12:00:00
Doctor Ji pulled a beautifully wrapped gift box from his pocket, opened it slowly, and said with a smile, “Happy birthday, Xiao Xing.”
“…Can you guess what it is?”
