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BTFB chapter 10

Night Of Confusin

Outside, the sky was still gloomy, and the light rain showed no sign of stopping. Zhao Yuan peeled off the shoe covers at the door, found his umbrella, and stepped into the rain.

Although he told Bian Liming to calm down, now, he himself was not calm.

He even felt that the whole world was not calm.

When he returned home, without changing his half-soaked pants, he quickly found a cigarette and a lighter, lighting up for himself.

Whether it was because he walked too fast on the way back or because of the fact he accidentally discovered the long-existing truth; in any case, his heart was beating so fast that it seemed about to rupture his eardrums.

For the first time, he pondered this question—why did he and Bian Liming develop such an intimate friendship?

The cigarette, untouched for a long time, reacted strongly, stirring up memories in Zhao Yuan’s almost frozen mind. Like an attic that hadn’t been tidied for a long time, as soon as the window was opened, the accumulated dust surged in the sunlight, irritating the nose and throat.

Him and Bian Liming seemed to be very different individuals.

One came from a declining family, the other was highly sought after.

One liked cappuccino, the other preferred Americano.

One studied precise and rigorous medicine, the other pursued liberal and free art.

One wanted a calm and stable life, the other strived to make a name for themselves.

One only wanted to live a good life, the other had ambitions that could impact the industry or even the world.

Even when going out for leisure, one focused on landscapes, while the other cared about international conferences.

When seeing a magnolia tree, one lamented the falling flowers, the other marveled at the budding new shoots.

So, how did those hugs, confessions, intertwined fingers, shared beds, and absurd secrets in the bathroom begin?

Clearly, they were two very different people—how did they become so close?

Did someone compromise? Did someone make concessions? Was it only because of the overlap of fate and life? If the main character were different, would the result still be the same?

Zhao Yuan felt his brain suddenly tired. He had arrived at a conclusion that he had unconsciously avoided, so he wanted to shut down quickly to escape for a while. However, the cigarette, untouched for a long time, sharply stimulated every nerve trying to evade, making him feel despair in intense wakefulness.

At an appropriate moment, the right thing happened; it didn’t mean the right person was met.

Exhausted, Zhao Yuan, after the cigarette burned out, went upstairs to change out of his rain-soaked clothes, took a bath in the bathroom, put on pajamas, drew the curtains, and lay down on his bed, falling asleep.

Zhao Yuan had a dream.

He dreamt of being in a house, on a second-floor terrace with a view of flowers and plants. There was a cup of coffee on the table, the sunlight was gentle and bright, a mild breeze carried the perfect temperature.

Feeling good, he picked up the coffee on the table and took a sip with his head tilted back—so bitter!

Frowning at the bitterness, Zhao Yuan lowered his head to look, and the cup contained half a cup of pure black coffee.

Shaking his head, he walked out from the terrace, wanting to go downstairs to the coffee machine to froth some milk. He thought this house was his own, but going downstairs, the layout of the living room and dining room on the first floor was completely different from his own home.

Holding the black coffee in his hand, Zhao Yuan hesitated in his steps, watching a person working attentively, dressed in formal attire.

That person, sitting across from someone who seemed to be an assistant or secretary, was listening to a detailed report on the day’s schedule.

Approaching slowly, Zhao Yuan recognized the familiar face.

“Bian Liming? Are you Bian Liming?”

The person at the table raised his eyebrows in response, then joyfully stood up.

“Ah Yuan!” Bian Liming walked up in three steps, grabbing Zhao Yuan’s hand affectionately. “Come with me to the evening banquet tonight? Although I’m already married, I can never show off my patner. If this continues, people will start doubting if I’m really married.”

Zhao Yuan inexplicably felt a shiver down his spine, his heartbeat reaching his throat. He tried to pull his hand out of Bian Liming’s grip, but his hand remained motionless.

Bian Liming still had the same expression, turning his head to the secretary, saying, “Xiao Jiang, I and Ah Yuan will drive to the banquet later. You can leave early tonight!” After that, he pulled Zhao Yuan out of the room, out of the yard, and into the car—

After that, Zhao Yuan couldn’t see anything. Outside the car window was an indistinguishable, dazzling white; Bian Liming was still meticulously controlling the steering wheel on the driver’s seat, and the dashboard showed a current speed of thirty miles.

Speaking to himself, as if asking Bian Liming, “Where are we going?!”

However, Bian Liming seemed not to hear the tension in his voice, smiling and shaking his head.

“Where are you driving to?!” Zhao Yuan, with a sudden burst of fear, used his hands to tightly grip the sides of the seat. The voice was almost tearing, trembling:

“Bian Liming! Where are you driving to?!”

Zhao Yuan suddenly opened his eyes, drenched in sweat on his forehead and back. He picked up his phone to check the time, only to find several missed calls and unread messages. Fortunately, these messages had nothing to do with the currently irrelevant Bian Liming—they were from his parents.

They mentioned they would be working late tonight but would come home and discuss some things with him. He should remember to wait for them.

Rubbing his temples, Zhao Yuan, seeing that it was about time, went downstairs to the kitchen to prepare dinner. While preparing vegetables, he couldn’t help but recall the scenes from his dream.

Why was he married to Bian Liming in the dream? Weren’t they just friends?

Why did it feel so awkward to be held by Bian Liming in the dream?

Why couldn’t he see the scenery outside the car when sitting inside it? Even though they were in separate spaces, the dream’s setting was very concrete.

Was it because his imagination weakened as he was about to wake up?

Or was it because he simply didn’t know what place he and Bian Liming could go together, what visions they could jointly realize?

Because they were fundamentally headed in different directions.

Zhao Yuan couldn’t help but sigh. The alarm clock’s timer started ringing, and he took the well-cooked egg pancake from the pan, put it on a plate, sprinkled it with salt and pepper, and used chopsticks to tear it into his mouth.

He couldn’t taste whether it was delicious or not.

Around eight in the evening, his parents returned from outside. They bent down at the entrance, supporting themselves against the shoe cabinet as they changed their shoes.

Zhao Yuan sat at the dining table, having finished dinner and waiting for them to come home. Perhaps due to the fatigue of the past few days, his eyes were a bit sore.

His parents exchanged a knowing look and then walked over to the dining table, pulling out chairs to sit beside him.

“Ah Yuan,” his mother got straight to the point, “you’re about to graduate. Have you thought about where you want to pursue your master’s degree? If you plan to go abroad, do you have a preferred country? Let’s discuss it tonight and finalize it as soon as possible.”

Zhao Yuan’s thoughts stuttered, and he answered a bit frantically, “I, I haven’t thought about it in detail. I was thinking of taking a gap year, working part-time, and then carefully evaluating where I should go…”

“So, are you genuinely worried about the tuition?” Zhao Yuan’s father interrupted suddenly, looking at him with a mix of concern and apology.

This look made Zhao Yuan unsure of what to say. Feeling a bit awkward, he evaded it, chuckling nervously, “Isn’t it normal? I’m an adult now, and studying medicine takes so long. I can’t keep asking for money from you when I’m thirty, right? Besides, the money you and mom have isn’t easy to earn.”

“Actually, about you and Bian Liming, Liqin already talked to us.”

After a prolonged silence, Zhao Yuan’s mother broke the ice again.

“Bian Liqin meant that if you and Bian Liming can settle down after graduation, the Bian family can take care of sending you both to the same country and the same school. You don’t need to worry about tuition or living expenses. That’s why we’re discussing this with you now, and it’s also because we haven’t figured out what to do. Two betas, both men—if you get married, how much criticism will you face? These are already problems. But beyond that, your dad and I don’t want the economic pressure to affect such an important choice for you. However, we don’t have any other options.

Today we found a solution, so we’re telling you about it now. Ah Yuan, rest assured, even if you marry Bian Liming, you won’t have to take advantage of the Bian family. Your dad and I can afford the expenses for your further studies, and you won’t owe anything to the Bian family secretly.”

After saying this, Zhao Yuan’s father spoke cautiously and slowly once again, “So, Ah Yuan, do you really like Bian Liming? Do you want to get engaged to him?”

Zhao Yuan’s mind was in chaos. After thinking back and forth for a long time, he finally understood the current situation. After contemplating for a while, he said, “So, can you first tell me what you mean by finding a solution?”

His parents exchanged glances and, ultimately, his mother spoke:

“This morning, there was an outbreak of armed conflict in the Asia Minor region. It’s not a small-scale conflict between refugees; satellites captured images of heavy weaponry. Asia Minor already has areas controlled by South China and the independent country of Honshu. The parliament has been issuing statements for the past few days, demanding an explanation from the independent country of Honshu regarding the matter with Bian Liqin. Considering the relationship between the two countries, the armed conflict erupting in Asia Minor could likely be the beginning of a large-scale war…

“Wait a minute,” Zhao Yuan couldn’t help but interrupt his mother’s words, his vocal cords trembling uncontrollably, “So, you want to become a war correspondent?”

“Not just me,” his mother corrected with a smile, “both of us. Your father and I will go.”

Zhao Yuan’s throat choked up, and his lips trembled. It took a while before he could speak, “Why, what are you doing! It’s just a matter of going to school. Is it necessary to go this far? I disagree, I don’t need this!”

As he spoke, his voice became more and more uncontrollable. Eventually, tears began to flow from his eyes. Feeling upset and worried, he quickly wiped away the tears with his hand.

“I don’t care,” Zhao Yuan cleared his throat and, with a strained neck, said, “Even if you give me the money, I won’t use it. I disagree!”

Seeing this, his father also felt a bit sad. He reached out, holding his tightly clenched hands, and spoke word by word:

“Ah Yuan, we made this decision not just for your education. It just so happens that this decision can solve the issue of your education. Do you understand? Being a war correspondent is a meaningful profession, doing something very meaningful. Presenting facts from an unbiased perspective, giving a voice to those who can’t speak, that’s what your mom and I have always wanted to do.”

His mother sighed in relief and added, “Ah Yuan, you also know that after your grandparents passed away, there were changes in our work. From the production team to frontline reporters. Instead of being commanded by superiors with differing ideologies, conducting very superficial research, and producing content we don’t like, your dad and I believe that being war correspondents is at least something we can internally approve of.”

Zhao Yuan knew he couldn’t influence his parents’ decision. From childhood to adulthood, his parents had never been persuaded by him.

It was as if he could already see the scene of his parents leaving—carrying large and small bags at the airport, turning around clumsily and waving at him. And on the television screen, wearing a complete set of body armor, sweating on the forehead while reporting on-site…

Suddenly feeling sentimental, his eyes were like floodgates opening, continuously streaming tears:

“But… but, what do I do…”

“you, Ah Yuan, will grow up.” His father’s eyes were also a bit moist. He squeezed Zhao Yuan’s hands tightly, speaking with a slightly changed tone, “You’re in your twenties, and you need to gradually learn to be brave and independent, right?”

“Waah!” Zhao Yuan couldn’t hold back anymore, loudly closing his eyes and crying. He pulled his hands away, tightly hugging his father, burying his face in his father’s shoulder, sobbing.

Seeing this, his mother slowly stood up, stood behind the father and son, gently hugging their shoulders. She couldn’t help but shed tears silently.

This night ended in confusion.

In the end, Zhao Yuan still didn’t figure out the situation between him and Bian Liming. However, tonight, he personally realized how precious his freedom was and the heavy price he paid for it.

What some people took for granted, being born with and choosing freely—his freedom came at such a significant cost.

Therefore, it couldn’t be treated casually.

After the family of three cried enough, they started chatting again, discussing many things from the past.

Zhao Yuan remembered that since he could recall, his parents had been working on that in-depth investigative program. Therefore, he was even more surprised why, after so many years, his parents would be “demoted” from the production team to frontline reporters.

His mother said that perhaps it was because the time had been too long, there were too many things to adhere to, the obsession was too heavy, making it more challenging to adapt to this ever-changing era of news.

With a nostalgic smile, Zhao Yuan’s father softly recounted the past experiences in the production team:

“When I first joined the team, your mother was the head of the production team. More than half of the people in the program were working as frontline reporters outside the studio. I was a reporter for the first month, and later, after organizing the first case and submitting the news script, your mother transferred me to work as a scriptwriter inside the studio. It was only later that I found out she had circulated my news script throughout the entire production team.”

Zhao Yuan’s mother also smiled, meeting her husband’s eyes with tenderness in her words:

“At the moment I read your script, I knew that I had found the person I wanted to work with for a lifetime.”

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