Shen Muchuan’s movements were stiff as he slowly turned around.
This scene had replayed countless times in his mind, and he had often wondered what it would be like to hear those words if he ever got the chance. However, as time passed and circumstances changed, he finally heard Qiao Yue say those words in such a situation. Yet, he felt nothing but bitterness and heartache.
His gaze dropped to the hand that Qiao Yue held onto tightly. Qiao Yue was gripping it so firmly, as if afraid that Shen Muchuan would slip away.
It felt as if a colossal whale had turned in his heart, causing his entire soul to tremble. Shen Muchuan was almost unable to react and could only be passively led by Qiao Yue. He couldn’t find any words to respond.
The air seemed to stagnate for a few seconds, and Qiao Yue didn’t hear Shen Muchuan’s response. His lips quivered, and uncertainty gradually crept into his eyes. His voice sounded unsteady as he asked, “Did I surprise you too much? Did I scare you?”
Shen Muchuan shook his head, his throat choked up to the point where he could barely restrain himself. He slowly bent down and embraced Qiao Yue, shaking his head, “No…”
I’m just heartbroken…
*
Shen Muchuan sat outside the director’s office, his back tense, and his entire body stiff as if it might break.
In recent days, he had tried to contact various experts in this field, both domestically and internationally, but he couldn’t stop Qiao Yue’s deteriorating vision. He had been refusing to accept this fact, but the impending inevitability was so strong and terrifying that there was no room for buffering.
At this moment, the office door was pushed open, and Shen Muchuan immediately stood up. His expression remained calm, showing no signs of change or disturbance. The only indication of his emotions was the fist clenched tightly at his side, with the veins on the back of his hand clearly visible due to the force he applied.
“Doctor, how is it?”
The director shook his head, “The deterioration is happening even faster than we anticipated, and you and the patient should be prepared, psychologically.”
Be prepared, he thought.
Prepared for what? To never… see again?
“Not only losing sight, but what I mean is that other organs in the patient’s body are also gradually showing signs of failure, so you need to be psychologically prepared, there might be… other complications…”
The doctor sighed as he spoke, “There might be other complications…”
Shen Muchuan stared at the doctor blankly, as if he hadn’t heard anything at all. His consciousness seemed to have sunk into a viscous darkness, making him feel sluggish.
“What do you mean?”
“Mr. Shen…”
“Other complications?” This sentence was like a muffled thunder, exploding in Shen Mu Chuan’s mind, tearing apart the last shreds of hope.
So, what else was there? Besides his eyesight, what else would be taken away from him?
Shen Muchuan’s breathing became heavy, and he stood in place for a long time. In the end, he didn’t even know how he had returned to the hospital room.
After completing the examination, Qiao Yue was still in his hospital gown, sitting alone by the window. The warm rays of light streamed in through the glass, illuminating his pale face, which seemed fragile in a way that was hard to describe.
Shen Muchuan walked over and silently embraced him, as if he could draw infinite courage from this embrace, as if all the fear and unease were not worth mentioning in this moment.
Qiao Yue was momentarily taken aback but allowed himself to be held. After a long while, he calmly said, “It’s okay. I can feel it myself. I’m gradually getting used to it now.”
Shen Muchuan was completely choked up and couldn’t find the words to speak.
After an unknown amount of time, Shen Muchuan gradually noticed that the person in his arms was not feeling well, as if… they had placed all their weight on him.
Shen Muchuan’s heart skipped a beat, and he lowered his head to look. He saw that Qiao Yue’s eyes were half-closed, his chest rising and falling slightly, his cheeks pale, and cold sweat had already soaked his forehead, even dampening his disheveled hair. He reached out and touched him, realizing that the clothes close to his body were also slightly damp with sweat.
Shen Muchuan’s movements abruptly halted, his breath trembling, and he asked, “Where do you feel uncomfortable? When did it start? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Qiao Yue comforted him with a smile and shook his head, “I’m just a little tired, don’t worry.”
Shen Muchuan’s chest heaved, filled with self-blame. He had been busy at the hospital all day and hadn’t eaten anything, yet he hadn’t noticed that something was wrong with Qiao Yue. “Then rest for a while, I’ll go prepare some food.”
After saying that, he gently placed Qiao Yue back on the bed, realizing that was he clearly exhausted and had fallen into a deep sleep almost as soon as he lay down. Shen Muchuan stood by the bed for a moment, then carefully covered him with a blanket and quietly closed the bedroom door.
As soon as the door closed, 2333 noticed that Chu Yan opened his eyes and then asked for a movie to watch.
2333 had nothing to say for a moment, but after a while, it reminded Chu Yan, “This movie requires payment, and you can only watch the first five minutes.”
Chu Yan decisively spent a hundred points to buy a membership.
When Shen Muchuan came in and found that Qiao Yue wasn’t asleep, he walked over and asked with a furrowed brow, “Can’t you sleep?”
Qiao Yue followed the direction of the voice, and a faint smile appeared on his lips, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. “Well, thinking about the past.”
That smile was really quite subtle and faint. Shen Muchuan was slightly taken aback, looking at his relaxed demeanor, his gaze softened involuntarily. “What is it?”
“I’m thinking of our childhood… You were quite mischievous as a child, always ready to fight with others, but you ended up getting hurt every time, so you came back with injuries all over.”
His eyes were filled with nostalgia, and his expression was unusually gentle, as if those memories were the most beautiful things in the world to him. Shen Muchuan recalled the letters he had read, and almost every one of them mentioned the past, all related to himself.
Not a single word had been mentioned about what had happened in the past five years.
For the past five years, Shen Muchuan had never dared to think about it because he knew it was a pain that pierced his heart like a dagger. But this person could recall it over and over again…
Shen Muchuan shifted his gaze and asked, “Do you want to eat something?”
2333 genuinely respected his host from the bottom of his heart. It swore that its host definitely didn’t remember anything about what happened between him and the male lead when they were kids. After experiencing so many different worlds, it was probably all forgotten.
Qiao Yue shook his head and said lightly, “I’m not hungry.”
Shen Muchuan looked at him with concern, “You haven’t eaten much today; at least have a sip…”
Qiao Yue frowned slightly, his face showing signs of discomfort.
Shen Muchuan watched him and gradually felt a sense of helplessness and anxiety creeping in. He asked again, “How about some milk?”
If it couldn’t sense his inner thoughts and hadn’t spent so much time with him, 2333 would never have believed that its host could act this way. Because on the surface, it was impossible to tell: [Do you want seafood porridge? At times like this, you shouldn’t be so picky. The things you’re thinking about, the patient can’t eat them!]
Qiao Yue hesitated for a moment, then sighed softly and nodded in what seemed like a compromise.
*
Shen Muchuan had been busy with work until the end of the month. These days, it had been raining continuously, and the gray sky was showering fine, thread-like rain. The cemetery on the outskirts was shrouded in this misty rain.
In the afternoon, after finishing a meeting and leaving the company, he encountered heavy traffic. A black Bugatti was stuck in the traffic jam, making progress almost impossible.
After a while, his assistant, holding an umbrella, opened the car door and got in. Even though he tried to shield himself, his suit was inevitably dampened by the drizzle outside. In his arms were two bunches of pure white roses. Inside the car, he carefully glanced at the expression on Shen Muchuan’s face through the rearview mirror. He found Shen Muchuan looking blankly out of the window, his face devoid of any emotion. There were a few indescribable traces of sadness under the misty moisture.
The assistant sighed almost inaudibly. Since leaving M City five years ago, Shen Muchuan had never returned, let alone the annual anniversary.
He didn’t know how the other party could forgive Qiao Yue. After all, if one couldn’t even see their parents one last time, it would be a lifelong regret. If it were him, even if he could manage not to hate, he feared he would never be able to let go in this lifetime.
However, the last time he went to the hospital to deliver documents to Shen Muchuan and learned that Qiao Yue had already lost his sight, his feelings became quite complicated.
The cemetery was located in the southern suburbs of the city. The ground beneath his feet was moist, and the air carried the scent of soil and grass. As the day gradually darkened, the tombstones on either side stood hard and cold. Wet moss-covered paths crisscrossed the area. Shen Muchuan followed one of these paths, but when he looked up, he froze in place.
The sky was a dim shade of blue, and the rain fell in fine threads, enveloping the air in a faint mist. Through the rain curtain, Shen Muchuan could see a man standing in front of one of the tombstones, holding an umbrella and dressed in a black suit. The man’s slender and solitary figure exuded an indescribable sense of loneliness. Standing there, he seemed to merge with the entire tranquil cemetery.
Shen Muchuan’s heart suddenly trembled, and he froze in place, unable to react.
Why is my brother here?
Cold raindrops fell on his face, and the suburban temperature was lower than in the city. The rain soaked his clothes, sticking them to his body. A gentle breeze carried a hint of chill.
Time passed, and as the sky grew darker, Shen Muchuan observed that his brother remained motionless in front of the tombstone. He held two elegant bouquets of roses and hadn’t said a word. The rain had soaked through his clothes, darkening them, and he appeared quite disheveled.
Shen Muchuan clenched his teeth and took a step forward. However, just as he was about to approach him, he saw that Qiao Yue slowly bent down and placed the bouquets carefully in front of the tombstone.
“Sorry, Uncle and Aunt…” His voice was low, hoarse, and sounded particularly desolate and fragile, as if it might be swallowed up by the steady rain around him at any moment.
“Five years ago, I made a mistake, and five years later, I still make mistakes beyond belief.”
“But… even if it’s truly a mistake, I have no other choice because I can’t bear to part with him…” His voice wavered as he continued, “I’m just too selfish. Just because I can’t let go, I’m making him suffer with me.”
His intermittent words floated into Shen Muchuan’s ears along with the rain, and the entire world gradually turned into an illusory background, leaving only the figure in the rain.
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