CWITAR Chapter 2

Isn’t that Yu Ming middle School?

Qi Juan braced himself against the cement ground and struggled to stand up, but the dizziness in front of his eyes caused his body to uncontrollably tilt over.

 

Oh, what’s this?

 

Starting like this… Am I worthless?

 

Behind him, there were “thump, thump, thump” footsteps, and then a hand firmly supported him.

 

“When you’ve had too much to drink, take it easy and don’t wander alone.” A voice sounded in his ear.

 

So, he had drunk too much. With his legs weak and hands trembling to this extent, Qi Juan almost thought he had gone back to the time when he was critically ill.

 

Qi Juan frowned and looked in the direction of the voice, his gaze landing on the enlarged face of his lifelong best friend, with a few acne scars.

 

The friend casually grabbed a jacket and draped it over Qi Juan.

 

At this moment, not only was Qi Juan’s vision swaying, but he was also experiencing continuous double vision, feeling like he had stepped into a high-speed rotating special effect from a sci-fi movie.

 

He tapped his temple and said, “Zuo Ziming? Why is it you?”

 

As it turned out, Zuo Ziming was his elementary school classmate. During their elementary school days, their homes were close to each other, and the two childish kids often walked together, carrying their Ultraman backpacks, and happily went to the school gate to buy spicy snacks.

 

Later, Zuo Ziming’s family moved to another street, and they occasionally kept in touch with Qi Juan, but it had been a long time since they last saw each other. Unexpectedly, when they entered high school, they became classmates again.

 

In addition, they would occasionally run into each other in the restroom, smoking and exhaling smoke while pulling up their pants. Their bond was beyond words.

 

Zuo Ziming: “Alright, didn’t you call the guys to drink together? And now you’re complaining about me accompanying you, huh?”

 

“Who would dare to complain about you? You’re my precious buddy, and I care about you so much. It’s just that why did I suggest us to drink…” Qi Juan couldn’t finish his sentence and couldn’t bear it anymore, vomiting by the roadside.

 

He suspected that the word “alcohol” was toxic to him. Just the thought of it made him want to vomit.

 

“Reaping what you sow, huh? I really can’t believe you. Your stomach hurts, yet you still want to drink. Couldn’t stop you at all, now you know it’s uncomfortable?” Zuo Ziming scolded Qi Juan while supporting him.

 

“It’s not that bad. Generally, if you haven’t been pregnant for ten days or half a month, you wouldn’t have this kind of effect yet.” Qi Juan leaned against the roadside Sophora tree with one hand, and tightly pressed his stomach with the other hand. After saying that, he vomited another shiny puddle of alcohol with a “wow.”

 

Zuo Ziming: “…”

 

He helplessly patted Qi Juan’s back.

 

“What the hell is this?” The evening air was heavy with a deep hue. Qi Juan disdainfully slapped his hands, marked with dark imprints from the tree bark.

 

After taking a painful breath, he pressed his hand against his upper abdomen and rubbed it randomly. His clothes were tightly clenched, and he exerted force, pushing it all into his stomach.

 

Zuo Ziming stood beside him, lighting a cigarette. “You really need to take good care of your messed-up stomach. It looks so miserable. It’s just a breakup, nothing serious. When the time comes, I’ll introduce you to guys who are a thousand times better than Chi Yin. We don’t need to hang ourselves on one tree.”

 

“You mentioned Chi Yin? Did he just break up with me?” The smell of smoke made Qi Juan squint his eyes. After recalling for a moment, he asked, “Do I seem like the kind of person who can’t let go, who can’t move on, and seeks life and death over a lost love?”

 

Zuo Ziming hesitated for a moment and affirmed, “Are you confessing to that?”

 

“Wow, you’re nodding.” Qi Juan playfully slapped his back with a “smack” and chuckled. “I almost forgot about that person. What does he count for? He doesn’t even rank among the people I’m interested in.”

 

Qi Juan pondered for a while. If he remembered correctly, it should have been at the end of the summer vacation in his first year of high school when that guy named Chi Yin suddenly broke up with him.

 

This Chi Yin was a scumbag, and Qi Juan had long moved on, only wanting to find someone who truly deserved him.

 

However, at that time, he couldn’t accept it and spent many days drinking with friends. It’s almost like corresponding to the current situation.

 

Then, Qi Juan ended up in the hospital for nearly a month due to gastric bleeding from excessive drinking. When he returned to school, his original homeroom teacher was on maternity leave, and Yu Yue Sheng had taken over as the substitute.

 

He missed a good amount of time getting to know Yu Yue Sheng back then, which was a pity.

 

Now, he’s back.

 

It’s a perfect opportunity to make up for it.

 

Qi Juan took a cigarette from the cigarette box handed to him by Zuo Ziming. Facing the wind, he flicked open the lighter with a “click” sound, took a deep drag, and asked, “What’s the date today?”

 

　　”Hold on.” Zuo Ziming took out his phone and glanced at it. “It’s the 28th. Why? Do you have something going on?”

 

　　”Just calculating how much longer until school starts.” Qi Juan flicked the cigarette ash and said.

 

　　”Am I hearing it right?” Zuo Ziming stared at him with a strange expression. “You, who frequently skip classes, actually care about that?”

 

　　”Just happened to think of it—” Qi Juan squinted his eyes and joked, “My aunt also bought me a few sets of ‘Five-Year High School Entrance Exam Simulations,’ ‘Must-Do Exercises for High School,’ and ‘Test Research.'”

 

　　Zuo Ziming: “…”

 

“It hasn’t been turned over yet.”

　　”…”

 

　　Qi Juan flicked the cigarette ash and the fine lines at the corners of his eyes curved: “It’s time to pamper oneself in the future.”

 

　　”Hiss…” Zuo Ziming felt a toothache.

　　Perhaps the sun rose from the west.

 

　　Qi Juan smiled and took another bite of the cigarette. He was almost completely immersed in darkness, with only the half-burning cigarette held between his fingers flickering.

 

　　The pitch-black bangs reached the eyebrows, contrasting with the pale skin like paper. His long, straight legs were casually stretched out, and wisps of smoke curled in front of him. It exuded a sense of laziness.

 

–

 

“Hey? Isn’t that Yuming Middle School?” A group of people passed by, talking and laughing, pointing and gesturing.

 

“Oh. The school uniform of this school looks pretty good.”

 

Qi Juan lowered his head and took a look, only then did he notice that the clothes Zuo Ziming casually put on him were actually the school uniform.

 

He nudged Zuo Ziming but didn’t pay too much attention. “Why did you just give me this to wear directly?”

 

Zuo Ziming also imitated his voice and lowered it. “I found this in my bag.”

 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been keeping it in there all summer?” Qi Juan couldn’t help but laugh and tease, “A hidden treasure, huh.”

 

“No, no. It’s not that. Isn’t school starting soon? I lost it at my grandma’s house and just got it back.” Zuo Ziming explained.

 

“Put it away, cover the school emblem.” Qi Juan pulled off the jacket and haphazardly stuffed it into Zuo Ziming’s arms, and that’s when he saw a familiar figure.

 

Ignoring Zuo Ziming’s murmuring,

Qi Juan’s movements halted for a moment, and his whole body felt as if his blood was freezing.

 

His heart skipped a beat.

 

It was him.

 

As far as the gaze reached, Yu Yuesheng stood out in the crowd with his cold and pale handsome face. There was hardly any expression on his face. With single eyelids and prominent sclera, a high nose bridge, and thin lips, he had the kind of face that appeared cold and indifferent.

 

At this moment, someone beside him was speaking to him, while the hem of Yu Yuesheng’s thin windbreaker was lightly fluttering in the wind.

 

“These students nowadays are beyond redemption.”Someone in the crowd said so.

 

Qi Juan looked straight back at them, his movements lazy, as if he wanted to hear how these people would further criticize him.

 

After all, it’s not good to meddle in other people’s business. That person couldn’t help but lower their trailing tone when they felt the scorching gaze, and eventually, Qi Juan couldn’t hear anything anymore.

 

Yue Yuesheng didn’t say a word from beginning to end.

 

But when Qi Juan saw him glance over unintentionally, he subtly furrowed his brows, and his faint gaze quickly retracted.

 

It was disgust.

 

–

 

Qi Juan squatted on the steps with a pale face, pretending not to care as he continued smoking, but his fingers trembled slightly.

 

Qi Juan suddenly thought of something: Did he ever look at me like this in the previous life?

 

Wasn’t the first meeting with Yue Yuesheng at school? Or did I just not notice at the time? So he has disliked me since then.

 

The streetlight cast a dim yellow light, and it felt prickly on Qi Juan’s face. He rarely experienced the sensation of smoking and choking like this.

 

Suddenly, he didn’t dare to approach.

Especially while carrying the scent of cigarettes that Yue Yuesheng disliked.

 

“What’s wrong?” Zuo Ziming laughed and slapped him on the back, waking him up.

Qi Juan turned his face away, his eyes darkened. “I slipped up. Just ran into our class teacher.”

 

He pinched Zuo Ziming’s arm and slowly lowered his head.

 

The sudden cramp in his stomach made him realize that he had let something slip. He couldn’t quite distinguish whether it was his heart that was more uncomfortable or the inexplicable pain that was bothering him more.

 

“Who? Hong Jie isn’t in our class, I didn’t see her…” Zuo Ziming reacted for a moment, grinning, “Hey, let go. You’re hurting me, bro. It was just a little slap.”

 

It’s a new class teacher, and Yue Yuesheng will soon be substituting.

 

Qi Juan couldn’t explain to him, so he let go of his hand and said, “Don’t say anything.”

 

Zuo Ziming rubbed his arm and quieted down.

 

Qi Juan leaned back against the wall, his thin black short-sleeved shirt billowed and calmed with the flow of the wind, outlining his slender figure.

 

The hand holding the cigarette pressed inch by inch into his uneven and painful stomach. He tried to suppress the spasms, but his body simply wouldn’t listen to him and instead rebelled fiercely.

 

He was in so much pain.

 

He missed Yuesheng so much, wanted to catch up to him, and without hesitation, he pulled the person into his arms. Nestling in the nape of their neck, under the flowing moonlight, he exhaled hot breath and hoarsely uttered, “Yuesheng, it’s me. I’m back.”

 

His heart’s tip trembled incessantly, but it was so untimely.

 

He listened silently as the footsteps faded away.

 

Pretending not to care.

 

–

 

Inside the bar, the air conditioning was fully on, and the colorful spotlights were spinning leisurely. After the dry ice sublimated, it turned into a swirling mist, permeating the space. Every particle in the air seemed to be following the explosive music with a bold and soaring attitude.

 

“Sorry for the long wait, everyone.” Qi Juan spotted familiar faces and walked over without hesitation.

 

“Qi Juan, you’re back?” someone said.

 

“Just came to see how you guys are doing. Not bad, it’s so empty.” Qi Juan called the bartender to settle the bill, then stood in front of the table, took a glass, and poured a full cup of liquor.

 

As he casually grabbed his hair, a few strands hung down, giving the impression of slightly wet hair, blending in with the vibrant atmosphere of colorful lights and wine.

 

“Most of it is you who’s been drinking. How can you still have the nerve to say that? I suggest you stop torturing yourself.” Left Ziming quietly tugged at his sleeve.

 

“Torturing myself?” Qi Juan swayed the glass filled with sparkling liquor. “I’ll finish this first, you guys can do as you please.”

 

“… ” Left Ziming muttered helplessly, “You call it torturing yourself when you’re heartbroken. Does torturing yourself make you feel better? You denied it just now.”

 

With slender fingers gripping the glass, Qi Juan lifted it up. He tilted his head back and downed the cold liquor in one gulp, the black ring on his index finger sparkling under the light.

 

It had been a long time since he had last drunk, and there was no satisfying sensation. He simply wanted to drown all the jumbled thoughts back into his mind.

 

The rest of the people also drank their glasses of liquor.

 

“Come on, let’s play dice.” Qi Juan called a few people over and played a few rounds.

After all, he had invited people to drink and have fun, so he had to play along and wrap things up, but he felt it was rather boring.

 

In the crowd, waves of raucous laughter drowned one another.

 

The colorful lights flickered and changed, reflecting multiple hues on Qi Juan’s face, as if he were wearing layers of masks.

 

“My friend will be coming later, he’s quite handsome. Should I introduce you guys?” someone said to Qi Juan at that moment.

 

He felt like escaping.

 

Over the years, his stomach illness had taught him one thing: no matter how much pain he felt, he could still laugh it off. Unfortunately, when he was alone, away from the crowd, he would be at a loss and overwhelmed, retching uncontrollably.

 

Qi Juan leaned over the edge of the bed, vomiting into the trash can for a while, until there was nothing left to throw up. Then he weakly collapsed back onto the sickbed, lifting his arm to cover his eyes.

 

The sound of the IV drips clinking together echoed in the room, and his clothes rode up, revealing his pale and thin waist.

 

Zuo Ziming thought that Qi Juan was still trapped in the shadow of heartbreak and hadn’t recovered. He helped Qi Juan adjust his clothes and sighed, “It’s not easy for a person who feels deeply.” 

 

“I don’t feel deeply,” Qi Juan interrupted him.

 

“I really misjudged that scoundrel Chi Yin,” Zuo Ziming continued talking to himself. “You were so good to him, even accompanied him for hot pot despite your stomach problems, and yet he doesn’t appreciate it. I really feel sorry for you.”

 

“I don’t like Chi… Ah…” Qu Juan instinctively pressed his stomach that was throbbing with pain, clenching his fists and applying pressure.

 

From the moment he found out that the other person was just toying with his emotions, Qu Juan felt a strong sense of disgust.

 

He really hated being manipulated and deceived by others.

 

“Alright, calm down. It’s not worth getting so worked up and causing stomach pain,” Zuo Ziming said.

 

“Who’s getting angry for that jerk? I have someone I like, damn it.” Even if it felt like sharp blades were mercilessly swirling in his stomach, he wanted to make it clear.

 

Qu Juan curled up on the sickbed, his voice getting weaker and weaker, and his dark hair slightly damp.

 

When he looked down for a moment, he saw his palm covered in bright red. He quickly sat up, and even the needle in the tube was filled with blood.

 

“Yes, yes, yes,” Zuo Ziming casually said, “He doesn’t deserve you, I know you don’t like him anymore.”

 

“Zuo Ziming.”

 

Just as Zuo Ziming was speaking, he was startled by Qu Juan and raised his voice, “What are you doing? Don’t move around!”

 

“Why is there blood?” Qu Juan said.

 

“Huh? Where?”

 

Qu Juan lifted his blood-soaked clothes, and under the piercing pain in his upper left abdomen, the wound gradually split open, allowing the blood to flow out on its own.

 

His scalp tingled in waves, and his complexion quietly faded.

 

He held his hand up in front of Zuo Ziming, staring expressionlessly at the cold light, while the crimson liquid dripped through his fingers. He murmured, “Wow, there’s so much.”

 

“You scared me!” Zuo Ziming exclaimed as he looked over, patting his chest in relief. Then he puzzledly placed his hand on Qu Juan’s damp forehead. “You’re not running a fever, so you must be drunk and acting foolish. Where could the blood come from?”

 

 Can’t you see emotions?

 

Where is the person in black? How the hell is this supposed to heal?

 

Qu Juan covered the continuously bleeding wound, feeling utterly helpless. He tightly pursed his thin lips, the pain making it impossible for him to utter a word.

 

In frustration, he reached out and grabbed Zuo Ziming’s arm, pinching it hard.

 

“Hey? Stop pinching me, stop pinching me.” Zuo Ziming was already engrossed in playing with his phone and instinctively moved away from Qu Juan’s icy-cold hand. Sensing that something was wrong, he belatedly looked up and asked, “What’s going on? Is it hurting badly?”

 

Qu Juan didn’t want to speak, burying his face in the pillow.

 

Zuo Ziming quickly stood up, anxious as he said, “Wait for me, I’ll go call a doctor.”

 

Qu Juan’s slender body was now curled up into a small ball, feeling nothing but a sharp dagger in his stomach, carving and stabbing, causing blood to flow profusely.

His entire body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat from the pain.

 

“It will get better on its own,” the voice of the person in black echoed.

 

Qu Juan raised his eyes to look.

 

Just as he was about to speak, it seemed that the person in black already understood what he wanted to ask and replied, “I’m just retracing the last twenty minutes of your life. Once the time is up, it will be fine. You’ve broken your resolution too many times today.”

 

Because shouldn’t the future be unpredictable?

 

“Doctor, over here!” Urgent footsteps grew closer and closer, and the door to the hospital room was slammed open. Zuo Ziming rushed in, and Qu Jin felt a wave of heat surrounding him.

 

The doctor reached out and pressed on Qu Juan’s abdomen, causing the thin flesh to visibly sink in.

 

Qu Juan immediately curled up his legs and cowered backward. The heavy scent of disinfectant quickly made him feel nauseous. His complexion grew even paler, and sweat began to bead on his forehead.

 

Zuo Ziming stood nervously on the side, watching as the doctor changed the area of examination. No matter where they pressed, Qu Juan reacted strongly. In the end, he simply closed his eyes and let the doctor continue.

 

“Doctor, what’s wrong with him?” Zuo Ziming couldn’t help but ask.

 

“Young man, your gastrointestinal system is really weak. You just received a muscle relaxant injection, and now you need another one so soon.” The doctor reluctantly administered two pain relief injections to Qu Juan. “In the future, you should avoid drinking alcohol. It’s not worth this suffering. Also, remember to take the prescribed medication on time when you go back home.”

 

He looked at Zuo Ziming and said, “He’s your friend, right? Keep an eye on him.”

 

“Alright. Thank you, doctor,” Zuo Ziming nodded.

 

As more cold sweat accumulated, it merged into rivulets and flowed down. Qu Juan felt a cold, hard, and icy object pressing into the painful spot, followed by an intense pain piercing through the previous incision.

 

He tilted his head back, his neck covered in glistening sweat, his brows furrowed with agony.

 

Well, it seems like the blade has returned, perhaps?

 

“Ugh…”

 

No. Don’t.

 

Stop, please.

 

It felt like tearing apart delicate silk, with a swishing sound as it easily ripped apart.

 

It was as if a hand was probing, stirring, and rummaging inside his stomach. The sensation of the latex gloves touching him made his entire body tremble and spasm. Every fine pore felt like it was experiencing an electric shock, causing immense discomfort.

 

“Cough—” Qu Juan struggled to turn on his side, reaching for the trash bin and retching with intense disgust. 

 

Suddenly, in his mind, he recalled seeing a description of abdominal surgery a long time ago. They said it involved cutting through several layers of skin and flesh, right? Was it like this? The sensation on this broken body must be terrible.

 

He couldn’t help but force a bitter smile, his eyes resembling black holes, with a vacant gaze and no focus.

Indeed, he shouldn’t exist in this space to begin with.

 

Snowflakes started to appear in front of his eyes, as if a TV screen with static, and his consciousness was about to detach. Qu Juan clenched his fingers into the bedsheets, scratching and digging fiercely, his joints turning pale as if they were about to dislocate. His abdominal clothes were soaked, warm and sticky, as they flowed wetly.

 

“Doctor, w-w-what’s happening to him? Wasn’t he just given an injection?” Zuo Ziming asked worriedly.

 

The doctor wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Wait, the medication doesn’t take effect that quickly.”

 

The pale blue curtains were lifted by the wind, revealing a pitch-black and mysterious night. On the bed, the person’s stomach fluid mixed with blood, softly flowing out from the opened incision, wetting the pristine white sheets.

 

“Tik-tok, tik-tok,” the sound echoed clearly. The slender figure appeared solitary yet stubborn, a resilient soul that had endured the harshest of frosts and remained alive.

 

The black-clad person stood by, watching as Qi Juan suffered in pain and fainted. Letting out a sigh, they departed.

 

Yu Yuesheng, oh Yu Yuesheng, do you know this person?

 

You only ever bestowed him with half of your kindness, yet he was willing to hold onto his heart and endure excruciating pain, step by step, walking towards you. 

 

His chest burned hot, and even a withered tree could bloom with flowers.¹The line about the chest burning hot symbolizes the intense passion and love they hold within them, while the metaphor of a withered tree blooming with flowers suggests the transformative power of love and the potential for beauty and growth even in the face of adversity.

 

The author has something to say:

Little Qi Juan is about to start school,

3 2 1 flip to the next page, school begins!

 

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  The line about the chest burning hot symbolizes the intense passion and love they hold within them, while the metaphor of a withered tree blooming with flowers suggests the transformative power of love and the potential for beauty and growth even in the face of adversity.