CWITAR Chapter 6

 

Yu Yuesheng: “The account for skipping classes hasn’t been settled yet.”

 

The hot and dry wind passed through the woods, and the leaves on the trees rustled.

 

As their gazes quickly swept over each other, Qi Juan acted as if he hadn’t seen anything. The corners of his eyes formed a delicate curve, and with a calm and distant tone, he said, “What’s up? Does Yu Laoshi have something to discuss with me?”

 

Yu Yuesheng stood up and looked at him, “Aren’t you going to explain?”

 

Qi Juan shrugged, “I didn’t like him, so I hit him. We’ve always had conflicts between us, Yu Laoshi knows that, right?”

 

Chen Geou’s nasal cavity was still stuffed with tissue, and he covered his nose with one hand as he got up, grumbling, “What did I do to provoke you? Do you just dislike me and oppose me at every turn?”

 

Qi Juan chuckled, “You’re asking the wrong person about that.”

 

He paused, feeling the intense pain in his stomach. His back was already covered in cold sweat.

 

Qi Juan unconsciously frowned and slowed down his speech, saying, “What did you do? Who started the fight? Aren’t you clear about it yourself? I have to teach you everything, as if you’re a—mama’s boy.”

 

Suddenly, an English song started to play, probably someone’s cell phone ringtone.

 

Qi Juan frowned and couldn’t speak for a moment.

 

He had heard this song before!

 

…

 

Memories rushed back. It was in a lounge.

It was the first year after Qi Juan graduated in his previous life, and he returned to visit his alma mater. It happened to be New Year’s Day, and the juniors urged him to sing at the New Year’s Eve party.

 

“You’ll be up later, don’t be nervous.” Yu Yuesheng handed Qin Juan a bottle of water and said to him.

 

“Laoshi, Do I look like someone who is nervous?” He blinked with lowered eyelashes. When he raised his eyes again, they sparkled brightly as if ignited by starlight, full of tenderness and emotion. Qi Juan narrowed his eyes playfully and said, “We’ve known each other for so long, and I really want to have something sweet. Yu Yueseng, I really want to tell you…”

 

“?”

 

As a warm breath wafted past his ear, Qi Juan emphasized the last note and said, “I really like you—”

 

Upon hearing this, Yu Yuesheng’s face suddenly changed, “Do you know what you’re saying?” How could two men be together!

 

Qi Juan playfully pressed his palm against the wall to stop Yu Yuesheng, while his other hand held Yu Yuesheng’s chin and forcefully kissed those cherished lips.

 

He filled the other person’s unsaid words with his own, and his mind went blank in the process.

 

The confined space was narrow and oppressive, with the two of them so close that the air seemed to thin. The feeling of suffocation grew stronger.

 

Yu Yuesheng  instinctively pushed Qi Juan hard, but with his tall and sturdy 1.87-meter frame, he was like a solid wall, impossible to resist.

 

Qi Juan furrowed his brow, unable to resist the temptation, and bit the other’s lips with his silver teeth. The sweet and slightly bloody taste spread between their lips.

 

Then, he slowly and deliberately licked the blood on Yu Yuesheng’s lips.

 

The cool lights poured down, and the sound of the announcer came muffledly from the front desk. Qi Juan’s alluring Adam’s apple rolled as he swallowed the intoxicating oxygen.

 

Yu Yuesheng was genuinely resisting, hitting him fiercely multiple times. Why wasn’t he obedient?

 

“Hey. Don’t struggle.” Qi Juan chuckled lightly, placing his hand against the prey’s snow-white neck and holding him firmly.

 

“You—” Fury overflowed in Yu Yuesheng’s eyes, and his gaze seemed capable of splitting a person open.

 

“My Yuesheng looks so handsome, don’t furrow your brow.” Qi Juan’s voice rose, but his fingertips trembled as he tried to smooth out the slightly furrowed brow, “Otherwise, why do you think I came back today? Happy New Year, Yu Laoshi.”

 

He lightly nibbled on the other’s earlobe.

 

Footsteps passed quickly by the door.

 

Qi Juan paid no attention, seeming to find kissing even more thrilling with the background of footsteps. Moreover, it seemed like the door wasn’t locked—

 

Suddenly.

 

However, he felt the upper abdomen sinking, weakly wrapping around the sharp phalanges, and the organs inside were being squeezed and almost deforming and bursting.

 

The pain was explosive.

 

At that moment, the cool night breeze from outside the window swept in, penetrating the sleeves and making it particularly cold. Perhaps it was when the piercing pain struck that his mind cleared up a bit.

 

It really proved that saying, “Only after becoming familiar with someone do you know where to stab the knife to hurt the most.”

 

Qi Juan held his stomach, stepping back half a step on the tiles, his eyes filled with disbelief, and he softly called out, “…Laoshi“

 

Yu Yuesheng pushed Qi Juan away, angrily exclaimed, “Qi Jan! Do you know what you’re doing?”

 

He stormed out through the door with big strides, “Bang!” The loud sound was so intense it could shatter one’s eardrums, even the walls trembled fearfully. He felt more uncomfortable in his heart than if he had been slapped in the face.

 

Qi Juan smiled, leaning against the cold wall, and slowly slid down to sit. He curled up his legs in the corner, feeling as if he was drenched in dripping blood from the inside out.

 

Very well, Yu Yuesheng.

 

The lights all fell, forming bright circles one after another.

 

On that New Year’s Eve party, Qi Juan sat in the center of the large stage, holding a guitar. When his fingertips touched the strings, he spontaneously changed the planned song. The cheerful melody was replaced by a melancholic English song.

 

The crowded audience below was surprised and some sighed, but Qi Juan sang his song as if he didn’t notice the reactions. Gradually, many students started clapping and whistling along. However, the school leaders sitting in the front row had increasingly dark expressions.

 

Amidst the spotlight’s illumination, Qi Juan could hardly distinguish the mass of people sitting below him.

 

He kept thinking, would Yu Yue Sheng sit down and look at him? Or would he lower his head? Or maybe turn his face away? Or would he just walk away?

 

With every sentence he spoke, his mind was filled with images of that person.

 

On an unknown day, after the bell rang, he rushed to the classroom and Yu Yue Sheng intercepted him at the door. They stood there in silence for a while before Yu Yue Sheng asked him if he had eaten breakfast.

 

Seeing him shake his head blankly, Yu Yue Sheng called him into his office and, with no expression on his face, handed him a steaming bowl of rice porridge, claiming that there was too much.

 

He couldn’t bear the pain in his stomach and rolled on the concrete floor, with half-closed eyes seeing many people gathering around to watch. Some were pointing fingers, others were making phone calls. Amidst the crowd, Yu Yue Sheng pushed through, lifted him up, and placed him in a car. They rushed through numerous red lights on the way to the hospital. Under the doctor’s urging, Yu Yue Sheng helped him relieve the cold and rigid spasms.

 

After some time had passed, Yu Yue Sheng came to collect the class funds that he had been in charge of. He searched through the drawer and realized that the envelope containing the money was gone. He didn’t even bother to explain, but Yu Yue Sheng didn’t blame him. Instead, he spent hours reviewing the surveillance footage and identified the thief.

 

When Yu Yue Sheng wasn’t around, Qijuan relied on himself to get by, but when this person was seamlessly integrated into his life. After graduation, he suddenly realized that he couldn’t live without Yu Yue Sheng.

 

Selfishly, he believed that he was different from others in Yu Yue Sheng’s eyes. However, later on, there were only scenes of Yu Yue Sheng pushing him away and his fingers striking back again and again.

 

Qi Juan closed his eyes, but he couldn’t let go of those images.

 

Amidst the applause and cheers that came one after another, his heart felt none of the usual mischievous joy he felt when his pranks succeeded. 

 

There was only confusion and helplessness, which made him feel sad.

 

…

 

And now, this English song started playing. It was the original version of the song he had sung at that New Year’s Eve party that year.

 

Qi Juan felt like he was forgetting to breathe. Every nerve in his body was tightly strung, and with one more push, he might completely fall apart.

 

“I’ll be there soon.” Yu Yue Sheng answered the phone and said, “Found it.” When he hung up, he happened to meet Qijuan’s intense gaze.

 

“Why is this song your ringtone?” Why? Why did it have to be the song I sang?!

 

“…”

 

“Why did you use it?” His eyes were on the verge of turning red, and Qi Juan clenched his fingers tightly, the tips pressing hard into his palm.

 

The falling leaves seemed to dance like snowflakes suspended in the air, swirling in the wind and refusing to settle down. Sunlight pierced through the dense layers of air, causing a tingling sensation all over his body, as if being struck by electricity.

 

Yu Yue Sheng was momentarily unsure of how to respond.

 

Qijuan grabbed Yu Yue Sheng’s shoulders and shook him, yelling in a low voice, “Say something!”

 

“…”

 

“Tell me, isn’t it just me who remembers? Am I the only one? Acting like a fool… It’s really annoying.” His voice grew weaker, and even Qi Juan himself didn’t know what he wanted to express.

 

In the end, when he saw Yu Yue Sheng still not responding, he couldn’t help but snort.

 

The pain in his stomach intensified, as if a file was jokingly cutting and stabbing. Qi Juan couldn’t help but press his palm against his stomach. It was damp underneath, and when he looked down, it was already covered in blood.

 

Oh. He broke the rules.

 

Punishment has come.

 

Chen Geou pushed him away. “What’s wrong with you, Qi Juan!”

 

However, Qi Juan continued to stare fixedly at Yuyue Sheng, wishing to capture every one of his movements, eager to penetrate his heart.

 

Yu Yue Sheng patted the wrinkles on his clothes and said impatiently, “Of course, I remember you. Qi Juan, you’ve been causing trouble everywhere since the first two days of school.”

 

“Yu Yue Sheng…” Qi Juan spoke cautiously, each word extracted with difficulty from the depths of his throat, as if it were the faintest mosquito buzz.

 

Chen Geou chimed in, “Why are you randomly babbling about meaningless things?”

 

Qi Juan retorted without hesitation, “Do you need to mind my business?”

 

“Obscure, but it sounds good. So I just used it,” Yu Yue Sheng explained, glancing at Qijuan’s hand clutching his stomach.

 

What did he say?

 

“…” Something in Qi Juan’s heart seemed to collapse suddenly, and he dryly chuckled, “Oh, I see. It sounds good.”

 

“Both of you,” said Yu Yue Sheng, pointing at Qi Juan and Chen Geou, and then gesturing towards the group of onlookers behind, “and those over there, come with me to the office now.”

 

“What?” “Come on, we really didn’t fight, teacher, seriously.” Suddenly, all the cued people began to complain.

 

Yu Yue Sheng said coldly, “The account of skipping classes has not been settled yet.”

 

Exhausted, Qi Juan followed behind, watching as Yu Yue Sheng turned around in his line of sight and walked towards the teaching building. Other students were also complaining as they caught up. Whether it was the noisy footsteps or the hushed whispers, it all sounded particularly annoying.

 

Cold sweat dripped from his forehead into his eyes, causing a stinging sensation. However, he clenched his hand tightly around his shirt at his abdomen, unable to find the strength to free his hand and rub his eyes.

 

“Qi Juan, you broke your vow again, and just now, your soul almost scattered,” said the black-clothed person as if appearing out of thin air, standing beside Qi Juan.

 

“So what?” Qi Juan retorted with defiance, acting nonchalant. He continued walking slowly, with a gash already opening up in his abdomen. He could only cling tightly to his consciousness to keep going.

 

Even in his semi-conscious state, he knew that he couldn’t hold on for much longer. Perhaps passing out from the pain was only a matter of minutes away.

 

As expected, after a few more steps, he couldn’t bear it anymore and knelt down, clutching his stomach. Whether it was due to excessive blood loss or not, his whole body felt extremely cold.

 

Qi Juan shivered uncontrollably, and with every breath, his abdomen exploded with excruciating pain. It was beyond what an ordinary person could endure.

 

The people ahead heard the commotion and turned around one after another.

“Fuck!” “Laoshi! He, he…”

 

“How are you?”

 

Qi Juan felt like someone was lifting him up, and that embrace was particularly warm, as if he had fallen into a cotton candy cloud. His vision was obscured by a dark mist, and his eyes blinked several times before he could barely see.

 

He saw Yue Yu Sheng’s slender and fair chin stained with a hint of crimson blood, which stung his eyes. Yue Yu Sheng’s hand hanging at his side slowly curled and uncurled, but Qi Juan still hesitated to cover it.

 

The gentle breeze blew, causing the scattered hair to flutter, and also ruffled the pool of spring water in the depths of the heart, as if being in a dream.

 

Why, even if I could go back and do it again, I still can’t do it well?

 

Qi Juan opened his mouth, and his throat made a gurgling sound, but he just silently turned his head aside.

 

“You guys go to the principal’s office first. If asked, just say I took Qi Juan to the infirmary.” Yu Yue Shengheld him tightly, hugging him so tightly that Qi Juan’s bones were aching.

 

Qi Juan pressed his ear tightly against Yuyue Sheng’s chest. Every word he spoke and the rhythm of his heartbeat transmitted clearly to Qi Juan’s eardrums, steady and powerful, enough to console his desolate heart, to the extent that he ignored the sounds from the outside world.

 

Unnoticed by him, the man in black let out a sigh and merged into Yu Yue Sheng’s body.

 

–

 

Yu Yue Sheng gently laid Qi Juan down on the hospital bed.

 

As soon as Qi Juan touched the bedsheet, he immediately curled up and clutched his stomach, drenched in cold sweat.

 

“Hey, Xiao Tongxue, why are you back so soon? Oh, what’s going on?” The doctor quickly held Qi Juan’s shoulder and used a stethoscope to press on his abdomen.

 

“How is he?” Yu Yue Sheng asked.

 

The doctor furrowed and said, “Tsk, it’s still gastric spasms. Laoshi, why don’t you massage it for him, and I’ll prepare some medicine.”

 

“No.” Waves of nausea churned in his stomach, and Qi Juan’s eyes turned red. He clutched his belly tightly, refusing to let Yu Yue Sheng touch him. “It hurts when you massage it.”

 

After turning around, the doctor saw Yu Yue Sheng still hesitating on the side and hurriedly urged, “Just massage it, and it’ll be fine.”

 

Yu Yue Sheng: “…”

 

He furrowed his brow, gritted his teeth, and with a determined attitude, he moved Qi Juan’s arm that was lying across his upper abdomen and used his own palm to gently massage the area.

 

“Hurts, Hurts, Hurts!!” Cold sweat flowed down Qi Juan’s forehead and cheeks. He bit his lip, his face turning as pale as paper, and his breathing becoming weaker. Fortunately, it was Yu Yue Sheng in front of him; if it were someone else, he might have kicked them away.

 

Yu Yue Sheng didn’t dare to let go completely, and he said, “What should we do if he keeps saying it hurts?”

 

“Ai, it’s just the school’s medical room. It can’t compare to a big hospital, and many medicines are unavailable. We can’t administer painkillers; all we can do is give him some antispasmodic medicine.” The doctor tied a tourniquet around Qi Juan’s hand and patted his not-so-obvious veins on the pale hand. “Xiao Tongxue, endure it a bit.”

 

As soon as the intravenous drip was connected, the entire IV bag was swaying, and after a while, Qi Juan managed to say, “Trash can.”

 

When the doctor kicked the trash can over, Qi Juan leaned against Yu Yue Sheng and couldn’t help but vomit out all the icy water that had been churning in his stomach for a long time, scorching his esophagus and throat with a dry pain.

 

Yu Yue Sheng looked at him with a heavy expression, and he withdrew his hand, curling his fingertips at the edge of the bed.

 

 He continued to speak with great difficulty, “I sang that song for you today. It’s been a long time, and I always thought you didn’t hear it back then. I didn’t expect you to use it as your ringtone. Actually, I was quite happy about it.”

 

“…”

 

“If you still remember me, can you please stop pretending not to know me?” When he reached this point, Qi Juan finally lifted his head. His eyes were filled with nervousness but also a glimmer of hopeful anticipation.

 

“I…” Yu Yue Sheng’s voice choked up, and he tightly gripped the edge of the bed with his palm, leaving imprints on his skin.

 

“How come you’re spitting blood again! What a hassle.” The doctor quickly snapped out of her confusion. She hastily took out her phone and dialed the keys while nervously pacing back and forth. Her other hand emerged from the pocket of her white coat, and she anxiously wiped the sweat off her forehead with her sleeve.

 

“doctor it’s okay.” Qi Juan raised his head and glanced at her, his pitch-black eyes glistening with moisture. He licked the corner of his lip, where a hint of red appeared, and smiled briefly before spitting into the trash can, saying, “It’s just bleeding from my gums.”

 

“Oh, oh. You scared me.” The doctor paused for a moment, put away her phone, and quickly organized the medicine and tray on the bedside table. Holding them in her hands, she greeted them, “Alright then, you two talk. If you need anything, just call me.”

 

The clock on the wall “tick-tock” as time passed very slowly.

 

Qi Juan tightly clenched his stomach, and from the slender body, a point of pain was covered by his hand, seeping with a faint dark red.

 

He trembled, his breath unsteady as he said, “Laoshi, I’ll only ask you this one time, don’t hide it from me.”

 

The knife tip probed and stirred in his abdomen, steady and ruthless, sharp and icy. Yet he looked at Yu Yue Sheng earnestly, with no trace of regret.

 

“Did you mistake me for someone else?” Qi Juan heard Yu Yue Sheng speak after a long pause, and those few simple words caused a pang in his heart.

 

Yu Yue Sheng’s expression darkened a bit, and he continued, “What you said, when did it happen? I have no recollection.”

 

“It’s probably a mistake,” Qijian coughed and turned his head. His black hair fell down, and he used the back of his hand to wipe away the glistening teardrops from the corner of his eye.

 

It’s okay, it’s okay.

 

Starting over and getting to know each other again is also possible. Let’s just pretend that nothing happened, that everything is back to normal. But it’s so difficult, so difficult to get closer.

 

“Take your time, I’ll go get you a glass of water,” Yu Yue Sheng said.

 

“Okay.”

 

Qijian slumped back onto the bed, and his fingertips pressed against his arm as he pinched it hard.

 

Where did you go, black-clothed person?

 

Damn it, come out and tell me why?

 

“Do you want to drink now?” Yu Yue Sheng’s voice sounded like a brief ringing in his ears.

 

“Either is fine.” Qi Juan was supported by Yu Yue Sheng as he sat up. The mist wafted in front of him, and he lowered his head to look at the calm surface of the water. He coughed a few times hoarsely and said, “Just forget what I said earlier.”

 

Yu Yue Sheng: “Okay.”

 

Qi Juan drank slowly, taking a sip. The warm liquid flowed down his throat, but it felt like he had missed something, and it couldn’t find its place.

 

Looking at the empty cup, his eyes were filled with disappointment. And as he raised his head, he felt a tingling sensation on his scalp.

 

In a moment of carelessness, the paper cup was knocked over and fell to the ground.

 

The hot steam wafted shallowly on the flushed back of his hand, and the prominent scar from the burn was exposed, yet he seemed completely oblivious to it.

 

“Is your hand okay?” When Yu Yuesheng held Qi Juan’s slender wrist, his gaze suddenly fell on that scar, and his expression grew increasingly grim. “…Qi Juan? Did you self-harm?”

 

Qi Juan forgot to respond; his gaze was fixed on someone standing at the door. The person’s black figure lazily leaned against the doorframe, causing him immense displeasure.

 

“Hey, boyfriend, long time no see.” The person walked in.

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Author has something to say: 

 

The English song is “Almost Lover” by A Fine Frenzy.