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CW: homophobia, emotional abuse|| “First bow towards the heavens. Second bow towards the ancestral hall. Husband and wife, bow to each other.”
It is said that when people subconsciously feel that they have done something wrong and are discovered by others, they will choose to let go or escape as their first reaction.
But at that moment, Song Yan just held Xia Zhiye’s hand tightly, and Xia Zhiye also held back with the same strength.
Umbrellas rolled at their feet, and the rain drizzled down, making the dappled steps even muddier.
Liu Deqing looked at this scene and didn’t have a big reaction. He had been teaching for so many years, and this was the first time he had encountered such a situation.
On one side were their school’s historically significant outstanding alumni, and on the other were the two most outstanding students of this generation. Such a meeting should have been joyful, filled with praise and compliments.
At this moment, they were in a silent standoff, tense and on edge, to the point where he couldn’t be sure if he was just imagining things.
Before he could further ascertain the situation, Song Minghai tactfully spoke up, “Director Liu, Elder Xia and I have some things to discuss with the kids. Would you mind stepping out first?”
“Oh, okay, no problem. I’ll go to the concert hall first. I’ll ask volunteers to bring you here later.”
Song Minghai raised his chin slightly and looked at Song Yan. “Get in the car.”
Elder Xia, who has always been kind and calm, also smiled and said lightly, “Xia Zhiye, come here.”
Song Yan thought that if this were a movie, a TV drama, or a romantic novel, he should have taken Xia Zhiye’s hand now and run with him in this pouring rain, without hesitation.
Fuck the college entrance exam.
Fuck puppy love.
Fuck Song Minghai.
Unfortunately, they were just two ordinary teenagers on an ordinary old street, in front of an ordinary school gate, dreaming of spending the rest of their lives together like any other ordinary couple.
So they held each other’s hand, feeling the strength and warmth from one another, and resolutely walked across the street, each stepping into the expensive car that they couldn’t afford with their current strength.
As the car door closed, Song Yan remained in the passenger seat, while Song Minghai sat in the back. Through the rearview mirror, Song Minghai scrutinized Song Yan with a probing gaze.
“I heard that Xia Zhiye spent this winter vacation with his sister and brother-in-law in Beijing.”
A single sentence can carry a weight of a thousand pounds, making the already obvious relationship even more apparent.
Song Yan didn’t appreciate his roundabout business-like approach. He asked directly and coldly, “So what’s your plan?”
“Transfer. Cut off contact. Lead a normal life in the proper way.”
An unsurprising answer.
Song Yan turned his head to look out of the window. He still remembered how much he used to dislike the endless rainy season in this city when he first arrived. But now, looking at it, he surprisingly found himself quite fond of it.
He said, “What if I don’t want to.”
Song Minghai responded quickly, “Whether you’re willing or not is irrelevant, Song Yan. You will only turn 17 in a few more days. You don’t even have full legal capacity yet. What can you do if you’re unwilling?”
There was no emotional fluctuation, his arrogance suggesting that this was a war he was certain to win.
He looked at Song Yan. “Of course, you can cry, you can throw tantrums, you can run away with Xia Zhiye, causing a city-wide commotion, making a scene, making it look extremely ugly. Then, both of you can transfer to a new school, adding a very special note to your resumes. Trust me on this.”
There was a slight pause from Song Minghai, his smile tinged with sarcasm. “Even if you have no shame, the Xia family will absolutely not allow such a thing to happen. So if you don’t transfer, Xia Zhiye will. And as far as I know, he still has a cheap grandmother and a cheap little sister living in a nearby shack that he needs to take care of. Once they leave, he’ll truly have nothing.”
“Furthermore, if you become a rebellious, dropout, underage homosexual, I can rightfully declare that your moral character is flawed, making you ineligible to inherit your mother’s estate. Then I can cut off all your financial resources and enjoy watching you live with nothing. But I don’t think that’s a good idea. What do you think, Song Yan?”
Song Minghai sat calmly in the back seat, looking at Song Yan’s expression in the rearview mirror, and revealed a gentlemanly and elegant smile.
Song Yan looked at all this coldly through the car window, and was not surprised.
Indeed, this was the real Song Minghai, silently holding all the cards in his hand, aware of everyone’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses, and then mercilessly delivering blow after blow without a shred of mercy.
He will never let Song Minghai take his inheritance away.
Because that inheritance represented Tan Qing’s freedom, the security of her and Song Lele’s future lives, and the opportunity to utterly crush Song Minghai, watching him become like a bereaved dog, abandoned by his wife and children, with his career completely destroyed.
He wouldn’t let Xia Zhiye transfer either.
He could leave Nanwu, as long as Xia Zhiye was with him.
But Xia Zhiye couldn’t.
That old house always experienced water and power outages, and on days like this, it would occasionally leak. Grandma suffered from severe rheumatism, and Little Mahjong was still so young. Xia Zhiye had originally transferred to No. 3 Middle High School to take care of them nearby. Now, if he were to leave just like that, what would become of them, an elderly and her orphaned granddaughter?
Moreover, this is where Xia Zhiye grew up, with his friends, his brothers, and all his memories from childhood to adulthood. How could he bear to force Xia Zhiye to transfer and leave hastily from this place?
That flashy yet dignified arrogant youth should graduate with pride, holding the first place, under the watchful eyes of all those who love him and whom he loves. The only difference is that among those people, there might be one less of himself.
It’s just one less… him.
Song Yan thought he had prepared himself emotionally enough, had enough calmness and rationality. However, when he thought of those words, his heart couldn’t help but ache, causing him to close his eyes, afraid to let anyone see the bitterness in his eyes.
He realized that the jokes Fang Chang and Zhao Ruiwen said were not exaggerated.
He had long been accustomed to being inseparable from Xia Zhiye, used to having Xia Zhiye within arm’s reach, where he could touch him, kick him, and call out to him with just a word.
Xia Zhiye had almost permeated every inch of his life, so he had never considered what he would do if one day he couldn’t see Xia Zhiye in his field of vision.
But that’s all he can do.
He took a long breath and then opened his eyes. Through the rearview mirror, he met Song Minghai’s cold gaze and said, “I’ll transfer, but there’s a condition.”
“Speak.”
“Let me go after the cultural performance of the school celebration.”
“Give me a reason.”
“It’s my birthday.”
Song Minghai fell silent when he heard this reason.
And Song Yan just looked at the distant horizon, where heavy clouds pressed down on the sky. His voice was low and distant, “Dad, I’ve never truly celebrated a birthday in my entire life.”
That “dad” was a long-lost and unfamiliar address that had been absent for many years.
It sounded like a feeble threat burdened with countless grievances and resentment, yet also like a final lamentable gift given after finally giving up hope. It fell into the slightly chilly spring rain, sending a shiver down one’s spine.
As Song Minghai looked at the reflection of his own face in the car window, he suddenly had a premonition that he had lost something irrevocably.
Perhaps in that moment, he finally felt a tiny shred of parental softness.
Perhaps it was his act of mercy after finally being satisfied with the negotiation outcome of this transaction.
In any case, after a slight pause, he responded, “Alright. When it’s over, you’ll leave with me. Get out of the car.”
Song Yan opened the car door, and the rain fell on his shoulders.
He tried to turn around and close the door, but Song Minghai stopped him. “Song Yan.”
Song Yan held the door and lowered his eyes coldly.
Song Minghai sat in the car seat and looked up: “Do you know why I always win?”
Song Yan said nothing.
Song Minghai said calmly, “Because none of the luxuries you enjoy, which are a hundred times better than those of ordinary people, were earned through your own abilities. You live off of others, so you can only abide by their decisions. That’s the helplessness of the weak. Do you understand?”
The helplessness of the weak.
This was the second time Song Minghai said this to him.
Same location, same tone, same contempt.
—And he had to admit that Song Minghai was right.
This was their helplessness. His helplessness.
Because he was not strong enough. Not mature enough. Not independent enough. That’s why he’s helpless at such an age.
For example, the little prince watch he failed to protect.
For example, the decision he couldn’t stay this time.
But he thought perhaps Song Minghai had forgotten one thing: the weak are not always weak, especially when faced with someone or something they intensely desire to possess and protect. They can always grow strong at unexpected speeds.
“Thank you.”
Song Yan left the two words to Song Minghai and closed the car door.
Turning around, he stepped into Xia Zhiye’s umbrella, where the wind and rain were kept at bay, enveloped in the familiar scent of warm citrus that permeated the air.
He looked up at Xia Zhiye. “Do you believe we will never break up no matter what?”
Xia Zhiye held an umbrella, looked down at him, and replied seriously and gently, “I believe it.”
So Song Yan lowered his eyelashes and took Xia Zhiye’s hand.
Two strings of the same bracelet collide gently together, echoing their silent tacit understanding.
They walked under their shared umbrella, side by side, under this pouring rain.
In front of Song Minghai, in front of Elder Xia, in front of all those witnesses from the old street who saw them going to school and coming back together every day without fail, they walked into the rain together, openly and without reservation.
The driver of the Xia family couldn’t help but say, “Elder Xia, do you really agree with that?”
Elder Xia sighed deeply, “Disagreeing doesn’t change anything. The law dictates that we parents can only oversee them until they turn eighteen because everyone’s life is their own responsibility, and others can’t control or be held responsible for it.”
So he would only take care of Xia Zhiye until he turn eighteen.
Before that time, he will be the most selfish, conservative, and traditionalistic feudal parent who only wanted the best for his child. He wouldn’t allow Xia Zhiye to date Song Yan, a boy, again.
Because he wasn’t sure if this was just a result of their youthful impulsiveness. He couldn’t bear to watch his child tread a difficult path.
But if their experiences later prove that it wasn’t just youthful impulsiveness, if they withstand the test of distance and time, and if they can take responsibility for their choices, then he will no longer have the right to interfere.
“Xiao Ye, ah, just like his father, he has a temper softer than anyone’s, but he’s also more stubborn than anyone. He might not care much about things, but once he does, it’s hard for him to let go.”
The sigh of the rainy day, a conclusion the boys had already settled in their hearts long ago.
