DSYOM Chapter 20

Wen Di carried puffed snacks and walked into the neighborhood where Jiang Nanze rented an apartment. Everywhere reminded him of Heqing Garden—the old green belt that no one cared for, the dusty community kindergarten, the balconies and bay windows piled with pots, pans, and dishes, and the anti-theft doors spanning across various decades.

He pressed the doorbell, and in front of him appeared Jiang Nanze, whose hair had changed from blue to blonde, and the suffocating clutter inside the room.

Fortunately, his look held up, and his hair was resilient. If it were anyone else, their complexion would have looked like wax, and their head would have been completely bald by now.

“The junk food you wanted.” Wen Di handed over the plastic bag.

The old classmate took it and thanked him, “Come in and have a seat.”

“Where to sit?”

The room was filled with cardboard boxes, and judging from the labels, apart from instant noodles, there were sausages, dried meat, and canned fruit. Anyone who didn’t know better would think the apocalypse had arrived and this was humanity’s last fortress. The sofa was covered with dirty clothes, leaving no place to sit except on the carpet in front of it. A random thought popped into Wen Di’s mind: If the annoying neighbor next door saw this, they’d probably suffocate and die on the spot.

He raised his phone and took a picture.

Across from the sofa was a huge screen, almost taking up half the wall. Jiang Nanze leaned against the sofa, chewing on potato chips while watching ‘Finding Nemo’ on the giant screen.

Wen Di picked up a few cushions and sat down on the carpet diagonally opposite Jiang Nanze. “Your love for cartoons hasn’t changed at all.”

“Do you know?” Jiang Nanze replied, going off on a tangent, “Clownfish are hermaphrodites.”

Alright, Wen Di thought, here we go again.

“The female fish gives birth to the entire school of fish and is the dominant one. If this female leader is gone, the largest male can achieve a leap in social rank, spontaneously changing gender.” Jiang Nanze continued, “Within a few days, his male organs will shrink, then ovaries will develop, and he’ll become female, becoming the new leader.”

Wen Di was a bit confused, “What?”

Jiang Nanze pointed at the screen. On the screen, Nemo was arguing with his father, Marlin: “So, the correct plot for ‘Finding Nemo’ should be that after Nemo’s mother dies, Nemo’s father would become female, then have a relationship with his son, and together they would produce the next generation of the fish school…”

“That’s enough!” Wen Di couldn’t bear it any longer and snatched the chips from his hand. “You sci-fi scoundrels stay away from the film art!”

Since Wen Di first met Jiang Nanze, this person had been tirelessly researching sexual behaviors among animals, which eventually led him to pursue a path in biology. According to him, his interest stemmed from despair. His parents were incompatible, they had been sleeping in the same bed but dreaming different dreams for many years. He tried to find evidence of fidelity in the natural world, only to discover that even among monogamous bird species, infidelity and illegitimate offspring were common.

It’s heartbreaking that even nature is not on the side of love.

Jellyfish, however, are different. This beautiful creature can reproduce asexually. One form of the jellyfish—polyp—produces new jellyfish through budding. These new individuals are initially connected to the parent body and later detach to form independent jellyfish.

No expectations, no betrayals. What an advanced species.

In the film, a school of grouper swam by, and Jiang Nanze spoke again: “Did you know…”

“Don’t ruin my childhood memories just yet,” Wen Di said, “Where’s the gift?”

Jiang Nanze glanced at him, paused the cartoon, and fished out a booklet from the clutter of miscellaneous items on the coffee table, tossing it to Wen Di.

The booklet was beautifully printed. The cover had the words ‘Xingcheng Secondary School’¹中学 actually means secondary level education. So basically, in China there’s 9 years compulsory education, consists of primary level, which is from the year to year 6. And then, the secondary level, which is both middle school and high school. I’m keeping it Secondary School as they both have middle school and high school department in elegant script, and inside were photos of the school buildings, an artificial lake, club activities, and candid shots of classes in session. The last page had a powerful conclusion: “We eagerly await your joining!”

“Happy birthday,” Jiang Nanze said.

“My birthday is more than a week away.”

“For a love-brained person like you, shouldn’t you be spending your birthday with someone you’re interested in?”

“Okay ba,” Wen Di said, “even if what you said makes sense, what is this?”

“A brochure,” Jiang Nanze said. “Xingcheng is the best private high school around here. The teachers are well paid. I think you should give it a try.”

“Wait a minute,” Wen Di said, “your birthday gift is just one of those brochures handed out in piles at job fairs?”

“It’s a job opportunity,” Jiang Nanze said. “You’re already in your fourth year of your PhD. Shouldn’t you be thinking about finding a job? Next semester, don’t be a management assistant anymore. Intern at this school instead. Their intern salary is much higher than that of a management assistant .”

“I’m not planning on becoming a high school teacher.” Wen Di handed the brochure back to him.

“Don’t think it’s a waste of talent for a PhD to go to a high school,” Jiang Nanze said. “Affiliated High School and Shen High’s senior departments have been hiring PhDs for a while now. And with academia being so competitive, ask yourself, with your limited achievements and no overseas experience, can you secure a position at a decent university?”

“Cannot.”

“Exactly,” Jiang Nanze said. “You might as well consider a top high school—great benefits and you’ll be valued by the leadership.”

“I didn’t go to a university for the salary,” Wen Di said. “It’s about social status.”

“Social status is important, but money is not important? Just consider it as leaving yourself a backup plan.” Jiang Nanze stuffed the brochure into his arms. “Intern there next semester, get an offer, and it won’t affect your job search next fall.”

“Alright.” Wen Di reluctantly accepted it, thinking of it as a way to earn some extra money. As he looked at the brochure in his hand, he suddenly became curious, “Why did you start paying attention to private high schools in Beijing? Planning to find a job?”

“I need to keep myself busy.” Jiang Nanze pointed to the school photo on the brochure. “This one is the best I found after comparing them. The pay is good, and they offer household registration.”

“You’re going too?” Having a friend to work with made it a bit more appealing.

“No,” Jiang Nanze said, “I didn’t get selected.”

Wen Di was so shocked that he used force in his hand and destroyed a bag of puffed snacks: “How is that possible? With your high qualifications, how could they not want you?”

“I’m a bachelor’s degree holder,” Jiang Nanze reminded him.

“Didn’t you switch from a PhD to a Master’s program?”

“I dropped out of a direct-entry PhD program midway.”

“That still doesn’t make sense,” Wen Di said. “You at least have three years of overseas experience…”

“They want PhDs to boost their image; it looks good in their promotions,” Jiang Nanze said. “It also gives the wealthy and powerful parents some reassurance.”

Wen Di sighed inwardly but didn’t want to show any sympathy, so he changed the subject. He looked around the room; it seemed like it had just been ransacked by robbers or hit by an earthquake. “Where’s Thomas? Why hasn’t he said anything this whole time?”

“He’s not here.”

This was a good sign. Thomas being gone meant Jiang Nanze’s mental state was improving.

But then the other party added: “He went out to buy something. He’ll be back soon.”

Wen Di sighed again, recalling his previous conversations with Jiang Nanze and tracing back to when Thomas had reappeared—just before the National Day holiday.

The duration had far exceeded the previous record. Wen Di thought that even though he claimed he was fine, but deep down, he still craved companionship, just like before. With his parents being unreliable and himself being the only friend who knew the truth behind the dropout, Wen Di felt a surge of responsibility: “How about I move in and stay with you?”

Jiang Nanze stared at him, his gaze showing a painful hint of disdain. “This is my sanctuary. Don’t ruin my perfect living environment.”

“My house roaches have better living conditions than this,” Wen Di said. “Can you even find the air conditioner remote?”

Jiang Nanze reached under the sofa, fumbled around for a while, and finally pulled out a dusty, disgusting object.

Wen Di couldn’t stand it any longer and stood up, stuffing all the packaging bags on the table into the empty cardboard box: “I’ll help you clean it up.”

“No,” Jiang Nanze said, “I messed it up on purpose. If you tidy up, I won’t be able to find anything.”

Wen Di suppressed the sense of responsibility growing inside him. He couldn’t survive in such an extreme environment. But leaving Jiang Nanze to live alone made him uneasy. “If it really doesn’t work out,” Wen Di said, “maybe you should find another guy. Since you returned, haven’t you felt any new sparks? Any new relationships?”

Jiang Nanze said, “I’ve decided to give up on this vicious cycle.”

“There are still good men out there,” Wen Di encouraged him, “and as long as you are willing to chase them, you will definitely catch them.”

“Even if I do, I can’t keep them, so what’s the point?”

“Isn’t it because you were the one who kicked them out?”

Jiang Nanze raised an eyebrow, looking at him teasingly. “I’ve never kicked anyone out.”

“In broad daylight, speak with a clear conscience,” Wen Di said. “I have seen it with my own eyes more than once.”

“No,” Jiang Nanze said, “I broke up with them because I knew they wanted to break up. I said it first, just to save face.”

Wen Di hesitated, trying to speak but holding back repeatedly. Lately, his worldview had been challenged too many times, leaving him with a sense of surrealism. What happened to those paragons of perfection, the extraordinarily talented and the pride of heaven he once knew?

“Maybe I’m so desperate for love that I end up suffocating people, leaving them wanting to leave but too afraid to do so,” Jiang Nanze said. “Every time I suggest breaking up, they always look relieved. I’ve always hoped that someone would ask me to stay, but no—they just turn around and leave.”

Wen Di watched him, feeling his sense of responsibility swell to the point where he couldn’t sit still. He carefully put down the bag in his hand and opened his arms. “Let me give you a hug.”

“Don’t come closer.”

Wen Di moved a couple of steps forward and wrapped his arms around his old classmate’s shoulders. Jiang Nanze hesitated for a moment, then patted him on the back.

“I always thought you were a blue peacock,” Wen Di said, “but it turns out you’re a beaten flatworm, and a defeated one at that.”

Jiang Nanze was quite surprised. “I thought you never listened to my science talks.”

Wen Di released him and sat down on the carpet beside him, pulling out his phone and waving it. “I’m your fan.”

Jiang Nanze’s Weibo was filled with the most peculiar biological knowledge and photos from around the world. Although the style was weird, it was clear that he genuinely loved his research subjects.

“Even though I like it and find it interesting,” Jiang Nanze said, “I’ve still decided to give it up.”

“Effort might let you down, but giving up never will.”

“I love you.”

“Thank you, friend who gives free brochures as birthday gifts.”

“To be honest, I did save you from the dire situation back then,” Jiang Nanze said. “Do you remember, junior year, when you lost 700 dollars and were crying your heart out in the hotel suite…”

“Don’t spread rumors, I just collapsed and wanted to die. How could I cry”

“…I lent you money for living expenses and gave you my phone,” Jiang Nanze stopped talking halfway and he looked at the phone in Wen Di’s hand. “Isn’t that the same one from five years ago? Why haven’t you replaced it yet?”

“Isn’t it working just fine?”

“It’s old enough to go to primary school.”

Wen Di tried to prove that he had taken good care of the phone. But when he pressed the power button, the screen didn’t respond, mockingly reflecting his face. “…Let me borrow a charger.”

Jiang Nanze pulled a charging cable out from between the sofa cushions, pulled out one of the densely packed plugs on the socket. Wen Di connected his phone, realizing that the reason it hadn’t responded earlier was because it had automatically shut down again.

The screen lit up, and several unread messages popped up. Jiang Nanze watched him frantically unlock and turn on his phone and immediately knew they were from someone he was flirting with.

Wen Di opened WeChat, and sure enough, there was a red dot next to ℙ’s profile picture: [Are you free next weekend evening?]

Finally back in the country? Going to return the scarf before he freezes to death?

Wen Di straightened up and replied: [Yes, I am. What a coincidence, next Monday is my birthday.]

They wee so in tune with each other that they could even randomly choose each other’s birthdays.

Bian Cheng: [I know.]

Wen Di: [?]

The person on the other end was typing again. When this person chatted normally, their speech was sometimes good and sometimes bad. The same goes for online conversations?

Bian Cheng: [You posted it on your Moments last year.]

Alright ba, that was reasonable.

Wen Di: [Where to?]

The next second, the other person sent a location. Wen Di glanced at it and almost threw his phone away.

A hotel.

The author has something to say:
Blue peacock: During the courtship period, it spreads its dazzling tail feathers and shakes them continuously. This display is very conspicuous, making it easy for predators to spot. It can be said that it is pursuing love with its life.

Sea flatworms: A hermaphroditic species. When two of them meet, they will use the things under their bodies to compete in “fencing”. The loser becomes the “taker” and the winner becomes the “enterer”. This can be said to be a real-life example of the top and bottom in fencing.

T/N: Title is from Hamlet, Act 4, Scene 7. The literal translation for the title ‘一切事情都不能一直良好’ would be ‘Everything cannot always be good’.

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  中学 actually means secondary level education. So basically, in China there’s 9 years compulsory education, consists of primary level, which is from the year to year 6. And then, the secondary level, which is both middle school and high school. I’m keeping it Secondary School as they both have middle school and high school department