Wen Di furrowed his brows, staring at the blinking cursor on the computer screen. It had already been ten minutes, and there was still only one line on the page:
Benevolence is one of the themes of Shakespeare’s comedy As You Like It.
He bit his nails and painstakingly typed a few dozen more characters after the sentence: Mencius once said, ‘The feeling of compassion is benevolence.’ Orlando practiced benevolence in a moment of crisis…After thinking for a bit, he changed it to: The benevolence in As You Like It is a spontaneous act of the characters…Then he deleted that and replaced it with: In Christianity, ‘benevolence’ can be seen as an unconditional, spontaneous love…
He let out a long sigh, holding his head. If he kept revising, he would soon stop recognizing the characters for ‘benevolence’.
Leaning back against the chair, he found the home environment too comfortable, causing his mind to wander from time to time.
At this moment, the phone rang, sounding irresistibly tempting. Wen Di squinted his eyes, struggled for a while, but eventually picked it up.
The screen showed an unknown number from Beijing, and Wen Di pondered whether He Wenxuan had changed his number again. Then he gave an awkward laugh. How could that be? Last time he put on such a show. After all, the guy is a young master with plenty of people chasing after him. Would he really stoop to being a third party for love?
He answered the phone. The background noise on the other end was quite loud, with music beats accompanied by the clinking of glass, sounding like a bar.
Then He Wenxuan’s voice came through: “You’re definitely lying to me.”
Wen Di sighed, placed his phone on the table, tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, and then flicked his own forehead.
“Hello?” A voice came from the phone on the table. “Are you listening?”
Wen Di picked up the phone, completely perplexed: “It’s the year 20XX, right? We’re in Beijing, and the individual income tax threshold is five thousand?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Every time I talk to you,” Wen Di said, “I feel like I’ve been transmigrated into a novel.”
And he transmigrated into a dog blood novel. In this novel, he’d gone from being an unlucky PhD candidate who encountered setbacks in everything to becoming that irreplaceable figure, standing outside the crematorium—the white moonlight. Otherwise, how could there have been any follow-up after he had already made his point last time?
If he had to choose between the two, he would rather remain the unlucky PhD candidate.
There was a brief pause on the other end. “Have you been hanging around Jiang Nanze too long? Your brain circuits have become strange.”
Wen Di couldn’t be bothered to argue about the definition of ‘strange,’ so he redirected the conversation: “What do you mean I lied to you? How did I lie to you?”
“There’s no way you have a boyfriend.”
Who did he think he was looking down on? “And what makes you say that?”
“If you had one, you would’ve told me by now,” He Wenxuan said. “I’ve called you so many times and sent you so many text messages before, why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend?”
Damn it, Wen Di thought. He had almost forgotten that part of the reason he had liked He Wenxuan in the first place was because he was smart. “It just started recently.”
“From the last time I messaged you to when we ran into each other at the hotel, there was only one night in between.”
“Don’t you know what love at first sight is?” Wen Di said. “We’re crazy about each other. I can’t wait to be stuck to him every day.”
“Let me meet him ba.”
Wen Di had a heart attack: “What?”
“I want to have a chat with him,” He Wenxuan said, his tone flippant, clearly not buying Wen Di’s story. “I want to see what kind of person he is that can make you so obsessed.”
Wen Di’s mouth twitched up. “Am I out of my mind? Bringing my current boyfriend to meet my ex-boyfriend?”
“We’ve got a class reunion coming up, right? Bring him along. Everyone else who’s got a partner is bringing them,” He Wenxuan said.
Wen Di licked his teeth with his tongue, his mind working rapidly. This person had already seen Bian Cheng so pulling in someone else to pretend was out of the question. Was his relationship with the professor close enough for this? If he asked Professor1I’m using Professor when it’s a pronoun and professor when it’s a noun. The author most of the time use 教授 (jiao shou/professor) to refer to Bian Cheng instead of using his name so yeah to pretend to be his boyfriend, what kind of expression would he have?
Moreover, Bian Cheng was such a straightforward person; how could he do a good job of pretending? He’d slip up within three sentences.
Although the idea of bringing his current boyfriend to confront his ex was both clichéd and satisfying, the risk was too high. He was a cautious investor who only bought structured deposits for financial management.
Not feasible, not feasible.
He didn’t say anything for a long time, and He Wenxuan chuckled lightly. “What? Can’t you bring him along?”
Wen Di decided to shift the core issue. “Who said that? I just don’t want to go to your lousy reunion.” A group of wealthy young masters gathering together, with him, an ordinary citizen, mixed in, reminded him of chemistry experiments he did in school. Two immiscible substances poured into a test tube would separate into layers immediately. No matter how it was shaken, it would eventually return to where it was supposed to be.
“Why? Afraid of embarrassment?” He Wenxuan said. “Nanze dares to come, but you don’t dare?”
Wen Di was surprised that Jiang Nanze would show up. Didn’t he drop out and return to China without telling anyone? How did he get invited to the party? “Do you know he’s in Beijing?”
“Although he stays indoors and keeps his Weibo location fake,” He Wenxuan said, “everyone already knew he was back.”
The term ‘everyone’ made Wen Di frown. “You all know?” Wen Di asked. “How did you find out?”
“Our families have business connections. His father mentioned it during a meal with my family.”
“His dad has time to have meals with you but not to comfort his son?”
“His dad doesn’t have just one son.”
Wen Di was always perplexed by what ‘friends’ meant to them. At least in his view, friends wouldn’t gloss over each other’s pain. And since He Wenxuan was the first to know, why had it eventually turned into ‘everyone knows’?
“You said before that there were no friends at the reunion but now your friend is here, right?” He Wenxuan said. “If you don’t like the others, just talk to him. I remember you two were quite close.”
“What exactly are you trying to do?”
“I’m just looking for an answer,” He Wenxuan paused, “Feeling guilty?”
Wen Di gritted his teeth. “Who said that? I’ll go.”
As if surprised at how readily he agreed, He Wenxuan paused for two seconds before saying, “Alright, the location remains the same. See you then.”
Wen Di listened to the hang-up tone, put down his phone, and turned back to the screen. The cursor was still blinking. He began a new paragraph, typing slowly, one key at a time:
The plot of As You Like It might have been inspired by Thomas Lodge’s Rosalynde…
What ah! He pushed the table, causing the computer chair to slide back half a meter and spin in place. Wen Di looked up at the spinning ceiling, hugging his head with his hands.
Why did he agree to this! Had his brain short-circuited?
Was Professor really the type to come and pretend to be a boyfriend? After making a scene at the hotel last time, Professor already thought he was strange enough. Now he came up with a cliché plot from a twenty-year-old TV drama!
Even if the professor agreed, he shouldn’t be taken to meet an ex-boyfriend! Who knew what He Wenxuan might say. He had done a lot of stupid things in his early years.
This kind of provocation, the same old trick, and he fell for it so easily!
People shouldn’t gamble with their pride. While a tree lives by its bark, a person shouldn’t bet on their ego; betting can lead to ruin.2倾家荡产: dissipate one’s fortune; become bankrupt; bring the family to ruin; family ruined and its property all lost
But. But.
Wen Di’s canine teeth left a mark on his lip.
The guy was so certain that ‘no way he has a boyfriend’, and his tone was really irritating, as if leaving him would mean loneliness forever. It seemed that Wen Di’s ardent pursuit back in the day had given He Wenxuan the illusion that ‘I am not indispensable’.
If he didn’t smash this illusion to pieces, he swore that he wouldn’t be a human being.
Wen Di sat cross-legged on his chair, gritted his teeth, and clicked on the ℙ avatar, asking if the other party had time to chat as he had something to talk about.
The reply was quick: [call me now, and I’ll agree immediately.]
Wen Di’s eyebrows raised to the sky. Is there such a cheap thing in the world?
Bian Cheng said he’d arrive in half an hour. Wen Di went to the café, and soon after, a tall man walked in, looking travel-worn, and sat down opposite him. Wen Di pushed the coffee he had ordered towards him and asked if he had eaten. It would be too much to make someone listen to his requests on an empty stomach.
“No, I just came from a dinner,” said Bian Cheng.
“Blind date dinner?” Wen Di asked.
Bian Cheng glanced at him and picked up the coffee cup: “How did you know that?”
“Your reaction is comparable to those online posts that give advice, and the rate of plagiarism is 99%.”
His luck was incredible; if it hadn’t been for running into Bian Cheng at that moment, things wouldn’t have progressed so smoothly.
Bian Cheng put down his cup and looked at him. “So, you need a fake boyfriend?”
Wen Di became nervous. Although Bian Cheng had readily agreed over the phone, it was just a temporary escape from the blind date so it didn’t count.
Bian Cheng didn’t seem to have any intention of regretting it, he just asked: “Why so sudden?”
Wen Di recounted the whole story. Bian Cheng thought for a moment and concluded, “You want me to support the scene?”
That understanding was also correct. Maybe there was a touch of vanity in his subconscious, wanting to show that he was doing well after being kicked out, and that his new partner was even better.
“I know this request is strange,” Wen Di said, “Afterwards…”
“Fine.”
Wen Di took a deep breath. So easy?
“Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t sound normal,” Bian Cheng said, “just consider it an opportunity to experience human diversity.”
Wen Di snapped his fingers. “That’s the spirit.”
Bian Cheng frowned. “What?”
“Say the most infuriating and mean words you can think of in your life,” Wen Di said, “If he throws wine at you, I will stand in front of you.”
Bian Cheng was noncommittal about the request: “It sounds like all we need to do is tell the truth.”
Alas, sometimes straightforward people could be quite refreshing to interact with.
“But we can’t say everything honestly,” Wen Di said. “He’ll definitely ask some irrelevant questions, like how we met.”
Bian Cheng took a sip of coffee and looked at him.
“Let’s talk about the USB flash drive,” Wen Di thought for a moment, “You lost it, I found it. This part doesn’t need major changes. Just say that after we met, it was love at first sight.”
Bian Cheng frowned slightly at the term ‘love at first sight,’ as if he found it quite cliché.
Can’t stand this? We haven’t even gotten to the truly cliché parts. “What if they ask what you like about me?”
Bian Cheng didn’t respond. Wen Di thought, after all, it was he who made the request, so he should prepare the answer himself.
But self-praise was too awkward.
Then Bian Cheng asked, “What if they ask you, how will you answer?”
“Ah? Do I need to think about this?” Wen Di gave an example easily, “You are tall, have a good figure, high IQ, and a respectable job.”
“Like this?”
“Yes,” Wen Di said, “these questions are actually easy to answer. Just say the first things that come to mind about the person.”
Bian Cheng thought for a moment and said, “There are many.”
This was completely beyond Wen Di’s expectations. He lifted his head, looking blankly at the person opposite him.
“After riding a bicycle in winter, a tuft of hair will stick up here,” Bian Cheng pointed to the right side of his head. “When it’s below zero, the tip of your nose will be a bit red. Every time you see me, you smile and say ‘Good morning.’ When eating, your cheeks puff up and move around. When you want something, you open your eyes wide and stare at it. There are so many such scenes; it’s hard to choose.”
The music in the cafe stopped abruptly and Wen Di’s chest heaved, feeling his blood roar in his brain.
After a brief pause, the next tune began to play melodiously.
“What are you doing?” Wen Di said, “You need to save your luck points for later use.”
Bian Cheng expressed his doubt with silence.
“Good luck is limited, so you should save it up before exams. It’s about using the best steel on the cutting edge,” Wen Di said. “I’m so happy right now that I might die from it. What if something goes wrong at dinner tomorrow!”
Something did go wrong at the dinner, though not in the way he had anticipated.
T/N: Yessss, another episode of I don’t know from which work is this quote from because the only thing I found is people quoting it on the internet but it’s like 思虑太多，就会失去做人的乐趣 – Shakespeare.
