EMS Chapter 10

As autumn deepened, the cold wind of Weishui City swept through the remaining leaves, swirling past Chu Qian as he stood in the shivering breeze, seemingly struck dumb, unable to react for a long while. It wasn’t until Feng Lingjun approached, took his hand, and dragged him into the inn that he snapped back to reality.

 

Indeed, he was “dragged” along; Chu Qian resembled a docile little kitten, his head lowered, his paws drooping, his wet eyes glued to Feng Lingjun, exuding an aura of complete submission, as if he could be taken anywhere without a murmur of protest.

 

However, just as they entered the inn room, Chu Qian suddenly jolted awake as if from a dream, his fur bristling as he exploded.

 

“Feng Lingjun! You can’t say you didn’t deceive me!”

 

“…”

 

“All your words were lies! You made me wait so long… I thought something held you up. At most, I’d wait another two days, just two more days. But when those two days passed, you still didn’t come back. I waited from spring to autumn; the fruit trees on the back mountain have ripened. You must have completely forgotten about me. What a liar you are!”

 

In his fury, Chu Qian pushed Feng Lingjun away. Normally, this gesture would have been nothing, but he had been feeling off these days, with a surge of profound internal energy coursing chaotically through his meridians. Not adept at wielding it, his strength was unsteady, and when he inadvertently swung his right hand, he unexpectedly struck Feng Lingjun with a powerful blow.

 

Feng Lingjun had never anticipated an attack from him, he had even been smiling moments ago. Taken off guard, he staggered back two steps, his hand pressing against the round table behind him to steady himself, causing the teapot and cups on the table to rattle, emitting a low hum.

 

“…Qian’er?” Feng Lingjun gasped, taken aback.

 

Chu Qian panicked, instinctively wanting to explain, but as soon as the words left his mouth, his resolve wavered. He was angry, and he couldn’t afford to lose face. Yet the feeling of having struck Feng Lingjun weighed heavier on his heart than if he had been the one to take the hit.

 

He struggled to suppress his feelings, his beautiful brows knitting together in frustration as he angrily demanded, “Aren’t you supposed to be strong! Why didn’t you dodge?”

 

Feng Lingjun sighed, fully aware of Chu Qian’s underlying thoughts. He walked over, grasped Chu Qian’s hand again, and despite his struggles, he firmly embraced him.

 

“I didn’t mean to deceive you,” Feng Lingjun said. “I didn’t expect things to become so complicated. I just hoped to explain everything to you in person when we met again. I never imagined you would come down the mountain yourself… I was wrong. Please don’t be angry anymore, okay?”

 

Chu Qian was held tightly, but he eventually calmed down, albeit still indignantly replying, “How do I know you’re telling the truth? I don’t trust you anymore. You’re a liar, a smooth talker, and a heartless scoundrel!”

 

“…”

 

Heartless scoundrel? Feng Lingjun chuckled softly, though the sound was tinged with bitterness. He recalled the “letter” he had left for Chu Qian. In reality, it wasn’t a farewell letter, but a carefully crafted tale filled with lies. In it, he had written that he had married and had children at the foot of the mountain, urging Chu Qian not to worry about him any longer.

 

He had fabricated the image of a “wife,” piecing together a narrative riddled with inconsistencies, but he figured that Chu Qian, with his innocent nature, wouldn’t catch on. He thought that this was better than telling Chu Qian he was dead. Even if it meant Chu Qian would resent him for a few days, it would pass. In the grand scheme of the decades to come, he didn’t want Chu Qian to be heartbroken over someone unworthy.

 

However, in his overconfidence, he had underestimated Chu Qian’s determination. Chu Qian had come down the mountain in search of him even after feeling “deceived.”

 

Feng Lingjun’s heart twisted in turmoil, filled with a mix of sorrow and regret. Seeing that he remained silent, Chu Qian took his silence as acquiescence and grew even angrier, pushing him away and exclaiming, “You won’t even explain yourself! Feng Lingjun, do you think of me as a fool? Am I just some naive, ignorant idiot in your eyes, completely useless?”

 

Feng Lingjun was taken aback. “No, how could that be? What nonsense are you talking about…”

 

“Nonsense? Then why didn’t you come back to find me? Did you know I waited for you until I couldn’t sleep at night or eat during the day?” Tears that had been held back for so long finally overflowed from Chu Qian’s eyes.

 

He had lived such a simple life, within his simple heart, there was no myriad of martial arts world complexities or worldly troubles, only a mountain and the person he liked. That was the entirety of his joy and sorrow. Because of this, a single word from Feng Lingjun could easily shake his whole world.

 

Chu Qian felt so wronged. The day-to-day waiting was torturous, and the confusion and anxiety of coming down the mountain alone were even worse. He had clumsily asked for directions everywhere, gathering information, terrified that he might never see Feng Lingjun again. What would he do if he truly couldn’t see him anymore? He found himself filled with resentment toward Feng Lingjun.

 

But now that they were reunited, he felt powerless. How could he express his anger?

 

It wasn’t just anger, he also hated himself for feeling this way and didn’t want to give Feng Lingjun a pleasant expression anymore.

 

After crying for a while, he felt increasingly worthless. He raised his hand to wipe his eyes haphazardly, turning away so he wouldn’t have to look at Feng Lingjun.

 

He stopped speaking, and Feng Lingjun also fell silent. The room grew quiet, save for the continuous sounds of street vendors filtering in through the inn’s window. This was the world below the mountain—lively and full of life—so different from the tranquil melodies of the birds at Wangchun Mountain.

 

Chu Qian stood frozen for a moment, still sensing no movement behind him. What was Feng Lingjun doing? Why wasn’t he saying anything? After hesitating for a while, he couldn’t resist turning around to look, nearly colliding with Feng Lingjun’s nose.

 

Startled, Feng Lingjun quickly pressed his hand on Chu Qian’s shoulder, leaning in close, and suddenly kissed him.

 

Chu Qian froze instantly. Feng Lingjun raised his hand, gently brushing his thumb over Chu Qian’s eyelashes, wiping away his tears, then cradled his face and kissed him again.

 

This kiss was tender and lingering, soothing the prickling sensations coursing through Chu Qian. All his anger and resentment melted away. All that remained was Feng Lingjun’s soft lips, his hot breath, wrapping around him like a cage.

 

They kissed for a long time, as if they were glued together, reluctant to pull away, until they finally did.

 

Feng Lingjun’s voice was slightly hoarse as he rested his chin on Chu Qian’s shoulder and leaned in close, whispering in his ear, “I know.”

 

Chu Qian was momentarily stunned. The affectionate kiss had scattered his thoughts, leaving him unable to respond.

 

Feng Lingjun continued, “I know it all. I’m the one who’s sorry, Qian’er. But it’s a long story, and I can’t explain it all in just a few words. Would you like to hear me tell it slowly?”

 

Why would he not want to hear it? If he didn’t, why had he come down the mountain? Chu Qian sat on the edge of the bed, wearing a sullen expression, refusing to smile at Feng Lingjun. Yet he couldn’t outright reject him, he was merely sulking, listening in silence as Feng Lingjun spoke.

 

Feng Lingjun called for the innkeeper to bring a pot of hot tea. With the warm tea to accompany them, he recounted everything that had happened over the past six months, including old matters from the sect.

 

They sat facing each other from noon until evening. Inevitably, Feng Lingjun had to share the dangers he was soon to face with Chu Qian. This wasn’t good news, they had just reunited and now they might face another separation. Even though Feng Lingjun had a heart of iron and viewed everything with a certain detachment, he couldn’t help but taste a hint of bitter fate.

 

Before this, what does it matter to live or die? But now, suddenly having someone to care about, Feng Lingjun thought to himself, “It doesn’t matter if I die, what I fear is that you will be sad.”

 

Chuqian still said nothing, maintaining his position on the edge of the bed, and when Feng Lingjun said, “If I don’t come back,” he finally couldn’t help it, raising his head fiercely and saying angrily, “No!”

 

He understood the consequences of what he heard about “the affairs of the martial world.” It meant that Feng Lingjun might die and never return, and he would never see him again.

 

Chuqian’s anger, which had just settled down, exploded again, but it quickly deflated. He couldn’t express his anger at all. He could only helplessly grab Feng Lingjun’s hand and plead, “Can’t you not go? You promised me that you would always be with me. You promised yourself…”

 

“I can’t.” Feng Lingjun could not continue to deceive him with lies, “If I don’t go, no one will. Qian’er, there are some things you might not understand, but I have to do this. I don’t want to either, but in situations like this, it’s not about wanting or not wanting; it’s just what ‘should’ be done.”

 

Feng Lingjun paused, gripping Chuqian’s wrist, pulling him into his embrace.

 

“I’m very touched that you personally came down the mountain to find me,” Feng Lingjun said. “I know it must have been very difficult for you on the way. If you’ve lost that hair, then let it go; if you want, I’ll send you another lock. Don’t let it trouble you, you should be happy in the future, not always angry.”

 

Chuqian listened and choked, “I can’t be happy. I really don’t understand why you must go! My master said that people like you are fools, throwing away a good future and refusing to enjoy life, choosing to be some kind of so-called hero. No wonder they die young.”

 

He said the last sentence through gritted teeth, intending to scold Feng Lingjun, but after saying it, he felt a sharp pain in his heart. Chuqian’s eyes were swollen, and his voice was rusty as he pushed Feng Lingjun hard onto the bed, leaning over him, saying fiercely, “I won’t allow you to go. You can’t go.”