(M) Chapter 16 – The Video
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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Song Jin often had dreams after that incident. In his dreams, Song Xinglan stood before him with a knife plunged into his chest, blood staining his entire shirt red. Song Xinglan would just look at him quietly without saying a word, just like that night.
Song Jin covered his mouth in horror. But he could smell the strong scent of blood nearby. He looked down to see his hands covered in fresh blood; he was the one who had plunged that knife in.
When he looked up again, Song Xinglan was lying quietly on the ground with his eyes closed. His face and lips were pale. He was no longer breathing. The knife was still in his chest, like a cold tombstone.
In the middle of the night, Song Jin sat silently on his bed. His face was wet with hot tears. His roommate was sound asleep and the darkness pressed in on him like converging high walls. Song Jin felt like a crumpled piece of paper, shrinking further and further. His internal organs and nerves were writhing in pain.
He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong. It was self-defence. So his reaction was justified. But he still couldn’t bear to imagine what would happen if Song Xinglan were truly dead.
Song Xinglan was dead. Song Xinglan was killed by him.
These two assumptions alternated in Song Jin’s mind. For a moment, he couldn’t distinguish whether he was more afraid of Song Xinglan’s death or of becoming a murderer.
***
The day before Song Xinglan left the country, Song Xiangping sent someone to pick Song Jin up for dinner.
Yuan Ya didn’t come. Song Xinglan was the last to arrive. When he pushed open the door and entered, Song Jin felt as if he had been completely drained. His soul was suspended in mid-air, leaving only his body rigidly supported by his spine. He didn’t even dare to look up.
The three of them, father and sons, sat around the table at a distance from each other. Song Xiangping, while urging them to eat, talked about Song Xinglan going abroad. It was only then that Song Jin learned that Song Xinglan was going to study in Toronto. Song Xiangping had a company there, with a house and car already prepared for him. A nanny had moved in yesterday to take care of Song Xinglan’s daily life from then on.
“I won’t count on you for the company over there,” Song Xiangping said. “First, focus on your studies. Don’t get involved in any messy circles and stay away from what you shouldn’t touch.”
As usual, Song Xinglan didn’t respond. Song Xiangping had likely said these things to him many times before.
After lunch, Song Xiangping didn’t call the driver but had Song Jin get into Song Xinglan’s car. He asked Song Xinglan to drive him back to his company first. And then let the two brothers talk, as it was uncertain when they would meet again.
After Song Xiangping left, the car was engulfed in silence. Outside, a torrential rain poured down, beating against the windows with a suffocating intensity.
Once the car left Song Xiangping’s company, Song Jin said, “Let me out.”
“What, afraid I’ll pull over for a quickie?” Song Xinglan said lightly, staring ahead. His face was expressionless, as if the words hadn’t come from him.
Suddenly, Song Jin understood. His panic, his fear, his regret—all were utterly unnecessary.
Everything was Song Xinglan’s debt to him. That stab in return was nothing significant. He didn’t need to feel guilty at all. After all, if Song Xinglan could treat him so crazily and still act indifferent. He even repeatedly pressured him. Why should Song Jin feel troubled for his act of self-defence? The punishment Song Xinglan deserved was far more than just a single wound.
“I want to get out,” Song Jin repeated.
Song Xinglan said nothing more and simply pulled over to the roadside. Rain blurred the windows on both sides. Song Jin unbuckled his seatbelt and tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge.
He was about to turn his head. But before he could fully face the driver’s seat, he felt something drawing close behind him. In that brief moment, Song Xinglan grabbed the back of Song Jin’s neck, grasped his chin, and turned his face, fiercely kissing his lips.
Song Xinglan’s kiss was aggressive, unlike his previous outbursts and teasing. It felt as though something was about to burst forth. It was not out of anger nor hatred. But something indescribable. In those few seconds of shock, Song Jin suddenly felt the blood connection between himself and Song Xinglan. With Song Xinglan’s chest pressed against him, his heartbeat and breathing were extraordinarily intense. Song Jin felt as if something within his own chest was also surging out, ready to confront Song Xinglan’s indefinable emotions in a life-or-death struggle.
Ah… they truly were blood brothers, sharing the same blood. Song Jin knew he was finally being pulled into the quagmire. He now harboured a similar madness and hatred. The last time he had acted out of hatred, he had hurt someone. This time, he turned around and, with all his strength, punched Song Xinglan hard in the face.
The cause was irrelevant—self-defence, self-preservation, resistance—all were unimportant. What mattered was that he had acted. With violence.
Song Jin suddenly understood Song Xinglan’s feelings. When hatred accumulates to a certain extent, it becomes uncontrollable. But at least he wasn’t as twisted and deranged as a mad dog like Song Xinglan. However, Song Jin wasn’t sure if he could refrain from seeking revenge if one day Song Xinglan appeared before him in a vulnerable state.
It was difficult. His brother was the greatest nightmare of his life. However, if there were an opportunity for him to reverse the oppression, Song Jin didn’t know to what extent he would go.
But this didn’t need much consideration because such an opportunity would probably never come. The fact that they could be separated by a great distance was already the greatest stroke of luck for Song Jin.
Song Xinglan’s head was knocked to the side by the punch. He wiped the corner of his mouth and looked at Song Jin. He was panting. But his expression remained calm.
In the beginning, when Song Jin resisted, Song Xinglan would violently grab his hair and slam the back of his head against the wall. He would pin him down and savagely rape him like a dog in heat. Now, whether Song Jin stabbed or punched him, he remained unresponsive. It was as if any resistance from Song Jin had become ineffective. It was just futile struggling.
“Psycho,” Song Jin stared at him coldly and said.
Song Xinglan expressionlessly sat back in the driver’s seat and pressed the unlock button. Song Jin immediately opened the door and got out. The rain was pouring down. But Song Jin didn’t even bother to take out an umbrella. He just wanted to get as far away from the car as possible.
However, Song Xinglan lowered the passenger side window and suddenly called out, “Ge.”
Song Jin stopped and turned back to look at him indifferently. Rainwater dripped from his forehead and cheeks, soaking his fair skin.
That punch was hard. Song Xinglan’s mouth was bleeding and a bruise was forming, turning blue and red. He turned his head to look at Song Jin. There was a faint smile displaying on his lips.
A strange, cold, and mad smile, tinged with blood.
Song Xinglan picked up a tablet in the middle of the seat, turned it on, and then turned the screen for Song Jin to see.
The fragmented pieces were edited into a complete short film. Song Jin stood in the rain, watching the entire video.
In the first second, he should have realised what would come next. He should have turned around and walked away. But the protagonist in the video was him—his face, soaked with tears, unable to open his eyes from crying. That was him.
Those were the two days when he felt life was not worth living. Song Jin had always thought he could control himself and stop thinking about it. He forced himself to look forward. Even if he couldn’t, at least he could stare at the ground beneath his feet, rather than look back at the past full of blood and tears.
But Song Xinglan’s cruelty once again pushed his limits.
Song Jin’s expression had become blank and numb. He trembled slightly, took a step forward, and reached out towards the car window. But his fingertips hesitated in mid-air. He didn’t know what to do. The person inside him was crying and going crazy. But his limbs could only make these spasmodic, unconscious movements.
His throat seemed to be hoarse, making it difficult for him to speak.
“You should have been very happy, right? Because I’m going abroad,” Song Xinglan turned off the screen and placed the tablet back in its original position. He then shrugged lightly, as if feeling a bit regretful. “But now, you can no longer seem to relax again, can you?”
Song Jin seemed unable to speak. He stood beneath countless cold raindrops, being washed over. It was as if he were about to melt in the rain, almost unable to stand steadily.
“Ge, I’ll be watching you all the time,” Song Xinglan said, appearing to be serious. “When you have a boyfriend one day, I’ll show him this video.”
“At the very beginning of the video, it will say: A gift from Song Jin’s own brother.”
“No.” His eyes were almost vacant. Song Jin shook his head lightly, repeating in a wooden tone, “No…”
However, Song Xinglan slowly rolled up the car window. His face disappeared bit by bit through the narrowing gap. At the last moment, he said, “Ge, goodbye.”
“No—!” At the moment the window closed, Song Jin felt as if someone had suddenly grabbed his neck. He took a step towards Song Xinglan’s car, wanting to break the window. But it was futile.
“Song Xinglan! Song Xinglan!” Song Jin pounded on the window. The rain splashed on his face. With a tearful voice, he kept calling, “Song Xinglan! Song Xinglan…”
He couldn’t see inside the car. The only response he got was the rain splattering on him and the intense sound of the rain. The car moved towards the centre of the road, speeding up until Song Jin’s hand slipped from the taillight. He stood in the heavy rain, watching the car disappear at the end of the road.
The street was just too wide. Song Jin stood there, feeling lost and bewildered. The rain completely blurred his vision. He didn’t know which way to go. His brother had forever taken away his dignity and his last bit of hope. He had nothing left.
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*Translator’s Note: Guys, Novels Space.space does not allow posting mature content so from here onwards, I’ll post the Mature content on my blog. The previous mature chapters had been transferred there as well. P/S: I wanna strangle SXL so bad! -K
Next update: -Daily-
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