Chapter 19 – Amnesia
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
֍֍֍
Three years ago, the sinister and violent young man now appeared to be a completely different person. Not to mention the contrast with the man in a suit and leather shoes he had seen on a guest’s tablet just two months ago. Song Jin had no time to think. He was trembling and almost on the verge of collapse as he shouted at Zhao Hai, “Take him away! Take him away!”
Zhao Hai was clearly startled by Song Jin’s reaction. He didn’t know what deep-seated hatred existed between these brothers. But now Song Xinglan was rushing towards Song Jin as if he had gone mad while Song Jin dropped the broom and ran into the house, slamming the door shut.
Song Xinglan rushed to the door, pounding on it and shouting, “Ge, Ge, open the door. Open the door, Ge!”
“Go away!” Song Jin shouted from inside the house.
Grapefruit had been so scared that it jumped off the swing and hid in a corner of the yard.
“Xinglan, Xinglan,” Zhao Hai ran over and grabbed Song Xinglan. He coaxed him, “Don’t bang on the door. If you break it, your brother won’t like you anymore. Be good.”
Song Xinglan actually quieted down. After a moment, he began to tilt his head and desperately look through the crack in the door. Pressing himself against the door, he softened his voice and said, “Brother, I- I won’t bang on the door anymore. Please, don’t be angry, okay?”
Song Jin stood behind the door, feeling almost weak in the legs. He couldn’t believe that this person, who was shouting and stuttering, could be Song Xinglan. But the fact was in front of him. It was his crazy younger brother whom he hadn’t seen in three years.
Song Xinglan continued to babble outside the door. Song Jin took a deep breath and said, “Uncle, tell me, what’s going on?”
Zhao Hai sighed. “Xinglan came back to China over a month ago. You know, Mr. Song disappeared and the company was gone. Xinglan contacted me and said he would arrange another job for me. It’s not necessary, though. If I don’t drive for Mr. Song, I can still work as a DiDi driver or something. But I’ve been picking up and dropping off Xinglan since he was little. So he might have some gratitude left for me and wants to help me out.”
“After he came back, he said there was something he needed to do and asked me to wait for him at his hotel the next day. But I didn’t see him the next day. When I called him, the hospital answered, saying he had been in a car accident the night before on the highway outside your village. He suffered a head injury and was unconscious.”
“Your mom has passed away. And now Mr. Song is nowhere to be found. I couldn’t trouble Yuan Ya. And you haven’t contacted home in years. I figured you probably cut ties with the Song family and were afraid to come find you. So I took care of him in the hospital. Xinglan was unconscious for two days. Then the people from his Toronto company rushed over. But when Xinglan woke up, he was confused, didn’t recognize anyone, and only asked for his brother.”
“Who would have thought amnesia would happen to him? Not only does he have amnesia. But now he’s also dumb and stuttering. The executives and assistants of his company wanted to take him back to Toronto for treatment. But Xinglan refused like crazy, yelling and throwing things. In the end, the doctor had to sedate him.”
“He was in the hospital for almost half a month. His injuries were almost healed. But he’s still not clear-headed. He keeps talking about finding you. The hospital in the city is top-notch. But even after ten days of hyperbaric oxygen therapy, there was no improvement. So the company had to let Xinglan stay in China for now. They asked me to bring him to find you while they go back to manage the company. They’ll see how Xinglan is doing in a while.”
“Xiao Jin, this is the situation. I know you may have some conflicts with your family. But Xinglan is in this state now. He has no parents. He only has you as his brother. He only remembers you. He recognized you the moment he walked in. He can’t remember anyone else. Please help him, okay?”
Song Jin didn’t respond. He sat on the ground, holding his head. His eyes and nose were so sore that they hurt. But not a single tear fell.
Why did Song Xinglan only remember him? Just because he was the person Song Xinglan hated the most?
“I don’t want to see him, Uncle,” Song Jin’s voice was hoarse. Those terrifying and dark memories intertwined. Even though three years had passed, the pain was still vivid. He said, “Can you take him away? I really don’t want to see him.”
“But, Xiao Jin…”
Before Zhao Hai could finish, Song Xinglan squatted down in front of the door. He touched the door panel and said softly, “Ge, I will- I will be obedient. Please- please don’t leave me.”
Song Jin wanted to curse him fiercely, to question what right he had to say such things. However, in front of Zhao Hai, in front of a Song Xinglan who was already an idiot, he felt that it was unnecessary to say anything.
“You go, Song Xinglan,” Song Jin said. “I don’t want to see you at all.”
There was suddenly no sound outside. After a while, Zhao Hai sighed heavily and said, “Let’s go, Xinglan.”
“No. No. No. I’m not going.” Song Xinglan sat directly on the ground, raised his head and looked at Zhao Hai. His eyes are turning bloodshot. “I want to stay with my brother. I’m not leaving.”
“How about we go back, have something to eat, and then come back?” Zhao Hai lied to him. “You haven’t eaten properly for a month. You’ve lost more than ten kilograms. You only ate a piece of bread today. Aren’t you hungry?”
“I want to stay with my brother…” Song Xinglan seemed indifferent to everything. He just spoke quietly with a hint of grievance.
Song Jin didn’t say anything else. He got up and went back to his room.
Sitting by the window, he looked at the mountains in the distance, feeling very tired and very heavy.
In the three years without Song Xinglan, it was probably the most relaxed time for Song Jin. He didn’t have to worry about bumping into Song Xinglan somewhere, didn’t have to fear being forced to have sex, and didn’t even have anyone saying hateful words to him. He came here not to escape from something. But to live in a more relaxed way. However, he still just couldn’t escape.
He couldn’t escape from the lunatic three years ago, nor could he escape from the idiot at the door now.
Because they were brothers. They were the closest blood relatives.
On that night three years ago, Song Xinglan’s words, “In the future, I will be the only family you have,” seemed to have come true.
The roles had just switched. Song Jin became Song Xinglan’s only family, the only person he remembered.
It was so ironic, so absurd.
***
Song Jin sat by the window for over an hour. The autumn sun was setting fast and outside was already dark, with the sky and mountains blending together like indelible ink.
Grapefruit was still in the yard, occasionally meowing.
Song Jin stood up, left the room, and went to the kitchen to wash rice and cook.
After he finished cooking, it was already completely dark. Grapefruit was probably hungry. He was starting to meow incessantly. Song Jin served the dishes and rice, stood by the table for a while, and then went to open the door.
Song Xinglan was sitting on the ground with his head buried, while Zhao Hai stood by smoking. When the door opened, Song Xinglan immediately raised his head. His eyes were bloodshot, looking at Song Jin.
Song Jin didn’t look at him. He bent down to pick up Grapefruit running towards him, and then said to Zhao Hai, “Shushu, come and eat first.”
Then he turned back into the house, carrying Grapefruit to its bed and feeding it.
Song Xinglan stood by the table and refused to sit down. He kept watching as Song Jin fed the cat, then watched as Song Jin got up to wash his hands, and finally watched as Song Jin returned to the table.
“Xinglan, sit down and eat,” Zhao Hai called to him.
Song Xinglan didn’t move until Song Jin sat down. Only then did he move, sitting down carefully opposite Song Jin and picking up his chopsticks.
No one spoke. Song Jin ate with his head down while Zhao Hai picked food for Song Xinglan. At first, Song Xinglan only took a few bites and glanced at Song Jin. But later, perhaps because he was truly hungry, and the food smelled good, he began to proactively pick up food, eating earnestly. He quickly finished a bowl of rice.
But he wasn’t full yet. He held up his empty bowl, looking at Zhao Hai, then at Song Jin.
Zhao Hai took his bowl. “I’ll serve you.”
“I’ll do it, Uncle.” Song Jin took the bowl. “You have some more.”
Song Xinglan sat up straight, staring at Song Jin’s figure as he disappeared around the corner of the living room, until Song Jin came back from the kitchen with the bowl.
Song Jin placed the bowl in front of Song Xinglan, who sat in his seat and looked up at him. “Th-thank you, Ge.”
Song Jin ignored him and went back to his seat to eat.
The dining table fell back into silence. After finishing a bowl of rice, Song Jin put down his chopsticks. Song Xinglan immediately followed suit. Song Jin glanced at him and Song Xinglan shuddered, unable to hold back a burp.
“Finish your food,” Song Jin said.
Song Xinglan immediately picked up his bowl and started feeding himself. After a few bites, he realised he hadn’t responded to Song Jin’s earlier statement. So, he said, “Okay, Ge.”
***
After dinner, Song Jin stood at the door. Zhao Hai went to the car and brought back a travel bag, presumably containing Song Xinglan’s belongings.
“Xiao Jin, no matter what, he is still your younger brother. Now that he’s in this state, there’s nothing we can do.” Zhao Hai looked troubled. “Can you take care of him for a while?”
This was essentially a matter for the Song family. Zhao Hai’s involvement, due to his past relationship with their employer, was already kind of him. If it were someone else today, Song Jin might not have let them into the house to eat.
“I’m sorry to trouble you, Shushu,” Song Jin said.
“It’s nothing. I’ve watched Xinglan grow up too,” Zhao Hai sighed, walked over to Song Xinglan, and said, “Xinglan, listen to your brother, okay?”
Song Xinglan looked at Song Jin and then nodded.
Zhao Hai patted his shoulder, looked at his face, and then wiped his eyes. “He’s still so young. The company was doing so well. But now…”
He didn’t finish his sentence. He took a deep breath and said to Song Jin, “Well, I’ll be going. Take care of him, Xiao Jin.”
Song Jin didn’t say anything, nor did he nod. He just looked at the plane tree hidden in the darkness.
The courtyard gate was closed, the sound of the car faded away. Song Xinglan stood by the door. Song Jin didn’t move, so he didn’t dare to move. He just watched the side of Song Jin’s face. His fingers clutched the hem of his clothes, looking timid and uneasy.
Song Jin turned and entered the house. Song Xinglan was about to follow. But the door was closed, almost hitting his nose.
“…” Song Xinglan looked somewhat dazed at the closed door. “Ge?”
***
Two hours later, Song Jin opened the door.
Song Xinglan was crouching on the ground, his chin against his knees. He immediately turned his head at the sound, the light from the corridor shining on his face. The night wind was cold. His nose was red. But it might not have been just from the wind. It was because he was crying.
“Ge…” Song Xinglan sniffed, tears falling from his eyes. His voice was nasal, “Don’t- don’t reject me.”
This transformation from the person he used to be left Song Jin feeling bewildered. He couldn’t connect the person in front of him with the lunatic from three years ago. It was like a complete reversal.
“Come in,” Song Jin said.
Song Xinglan immediately wiped his eyes, picked up his bag, and stood up. Song Jin led him to the small room next to the main bedroom. It used to be a storeroom, with a folding bed inside. Song Jin had just tidied it up, barely making enough space for the bed.
In fact, after tidying up, he had also taken a shower, boiled some water, and cleaned the room, kitchen, and living room. He was just delaying the time to open the door or see Song Xinglan.
“You’ll sleep here,” Song Jin pointed to the small bed in the middle of the clutter. “If you need to wash up, use the bathroom.”
Song Xinglan stuck his head in and looked around, muttering, “So- so small.”
“Behave yourself. Or get out if you don’t wanna stay,” Song Jin glanced at him. He then went back to his own room.
“Stay. I’m staying!” Through the door, Song Jin heard Song Xinglan shouting in the corridor, “Thank you. Thank you, Ge!”
֍֍֍
*Translator’s Note: I think I’ve explained this somewhere before (I’m just not sure if I explain this in this novel’s translation yet) but just let me reiterate; In many Chinese cultures, it is common to address people who are not blood-related as “auntie” or “uncle” as a sign of respect and courtesy. This practice is deeply rooted in traditional Chinese values and customs, and it serves several purposes but in this case, it is to create familial warmth. It creates a sense of warmth and familiarity in social interactions. By using these familial terms, people can establish a friendly and welcoming atmosphere, even with acquaintances or strangers. -K
*GLOSSARY:
- DiDi Chuxing, commonly referred to as DiDi, is a Chinese transportation company that provides various ride-hailing services, including taxi hailing, private car hailing, social ride-sharing, bike-sharing, and even chauffeur services.
Next update: -Daily-
֍֍֍
