Chapter 20 – Why Are You My Brother?
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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When he woke up in the morning, Grapefruit was sleeping soundly on the nearby small sofa. Song Jin lay awake for a while, feeling a bit of a headache.
Yesterday evening, Zhao Hai called him again, saying that all the medication Song Xinglan needed to take daily was in the bag, with clear instructions. The company would send someone regularly to take Song Xinglan for check-ups. Since Song Xinglan only remembered Song Jin, it might be best for him to stay with Song Jin for now. The car accident’s insurance claim had a lawyer handling it. But the final result would depend on Song Xinglan’s condition after a disability assessment.
Song Jin asked, “What if he remains like this for the rest of his life?”
Zhao Hai didn’t answer. He just sighed on the other end of the phone.
In the eyes of others, Song Xinglan was a promising young man, not a playboy or a second-generation rich kid seeking pleasure. Now that his mind was damaged, everyone felt it was a pity. But for Song Jin, whether it was the Song Xinglan from three years ago or the current one, they were the same. It was just a difference between madness and idiocy. And he didn’t want to see him either way.
A wolf is still a wolf. Even if it became lame and crippled, it still has sharp fangs and its nature is still that of a carnivorous animal.
But he was this wolf’s older brother. Even if Song Xinglan completely forgot about him, eventually, because of this blood relationship, others would still send Song Xinglan to him. There was no escaping it.
Song Jin changed his clothes, got out of bed, and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Passing by the adjacent room, there was no sound. So he guessed Song Xinglan was still asleep.
After cooking the porridge, Song Jin went to feed Grapefruit, then prepared to wash up. He liked to stand by the sink in the yard to wash his face and brush his teeth because the air was good and the space was open.
After getting his toothbrush from the bathroom, he passed by the small room again and knocked on the door.
There was no response. So Song Jin pushed the door open.
The curtains were still drawn. But they didn’t block much light. So the room was quite bright. Song Xinglan was wrapped up in the blanket, sleeping deeply with his head covered. He was tall and the small bed was too small for him. So he had to curl up to fit on the bed.
Song Jin kicked the edge of the bed with his foot. “Get up.”
The blanket moved. And then Song Xinglan pushed his head out from inside the blanket. His hair was messy and he stared at Song Jin with wide eyes.
“Ge?” He called out in confusion. He then suddenly grinned, “Ge, it’s- it’s you.”
Song Jin had never seen Song Xinglan smile like that. It was so bright and unreal. It was as if he wanted to write his happiness all over his face. However, Song Jin couldn’t forget the cold, bloody smile on Song Xinglan’s face when he picked up the tablet to play the video in the rain three years ago. It immediately sobered him up.
Indeed, there was no way Song Xinglan’s current demeanour could have been achieved voluntarily, other than through an accident that caused his mental state to change. Song Jin couldn’t think of any other way to explain it. The contrast was so stark that the old Song Xinglan would not have been able to act like this even if he tried.
“Get up,” Song Jin repeated expressionlessly. He then turned and left the room.
“Okay, okay.” Song Xinglan responded eagerly behind him, immediately getting up and dressing up.
Song Jin washed his face and brushed his teeth at the sink. Song Xinglan ran over to stand beside him. Song Jin wished he could move away from him. So he took a step to the side.
Song Xinglan also took a step to the side, taking quite a large step and ending up even closer to Song Jin than before.
After finishing brushing his teeth, Song Jin placed his toothbrush and cup by the sink. He then turned on the tap to wash his face. Song Xinglan stared at Song Jin’s toothbrush for a few seconds, then sneakily reached out to take it.
Song Jin raised his head, looking at him coldly.
Song Xinglan’s hand froze in mid-air, looking somewhat awkward. After a few seconds of avoiding eye contact, he cautiously asked, “Is- is it not allowed?”
“This is mine,” Song Jin took his toothbrush and cup, “Go find your own in your bag.”
He left, leaving Song Xinglan standing there, pondering what bag Song Jin was referring to.
Finally, Song Xinglan remembered that he did have a bag. So he ran back to his small room, opened his travel bag, and emptied everything onto the bed. He found his toothbrush and toothpaste. He then ran to the sink in the yard.
He pressed the button on his electric toothbrush. The brush head started vibrating. Song Xinglan squeezed toothpaste onto it but ended up getting toothpaste all over his face.
By the time Song Xinglan finished brushing his teeth and washing his face, the porridge was almost ready. Song Jin was cooking eggs. He had made pork and cabbage buns yesterday morning, which could be steamed and eaten today.
Song Xinglan went to the bathroom and carefully placed his toothbrush next to Song Jin’s. Then he put his toothpaste in Song Jin’s cup, mixing it with Song Jin’s toothpaste.
He watched for a while, feeling very satisfied. He then went to the kitchen to find Song Jin.
“Ge, what are you doing?” Song Xinglan walked over, trying to make conversation. “Can I help you?”
“No need.” Song Jin lowered his head and placed the buns in the steamer without looking at him.
“Are you- are you upset?” Song Xinglan bent down, tilting his head to look at Song Jin’s clean and beautiful profile. He asked him seriously, “Can you tell me why?”
Song Jin covered the pot, washed his hands, and said, “I don’t want to see you.”
Song Xinglan was taken aback. His eyes dimmed slightly, but more so filled with confusion. He watched Song Jin’s retreating figure, not understanding why Song Jin disliked him so much.
“Meow~”
Song Xinglan looked down and saw Grapefruit standing by his feet, rubbing against his leg.
“Little- little kitty.” Song Xinglan smiled, bending down to pick Grapefruit up. Grapefruit was a lazy, fat orange cat. It nestled in Song Xinglan’s arms, meowed softly, and then peacefully closed its eyes.
He carried the cat to the yard, where Song Jin was washing fruit. Song Xinglan stroked Grapefruit’s neck and said with a smile, “Ge, this- this cat is so well-behaved…”
Song Jin turned his head and saw Grapefruit in Song Xinglan’s arms. His expression changed. He immediately wiped his hands on his clothes before walking over to snatch Grapefruit from Song Xinglan’s embrace.
Grapefruit, startled, let out a meow and stared wide-eyed at Song Jin.
“Don’t touch it,” Song Jin said coldly.
Song Xinglan nodded blankly, “Oh.”
However, he thought to himself: I just touched my Ge’s hand. Hehe.
***
Song Xinglan gulped down two bowls of porridge, two eggs, and five meat and vegetable buns for breakfast.
After finishing his meal, Song Jin sat in his seat, watching him. Seeing this, Song Xinglan hurriedly finished his food, swallowing quickly. He wiped his mouth and asked, “Ge, are you waiting for me?”
Song Jin asked him, “Were you coming to find me that night?”
“Ah?” Song Xinglan looked bewildered.
Yesterday, when talking on the phone with Zhao Hai, they mentioned the car accident. Zhao Hai said that Song Xinglan had just gotten off a plane that day and immediately drove out. Shortly after getting on the highway, an accident occurred. A car in front of him suddenly had a tire blowout, swerved, and flipped over. Song Xinglan, who hadn’t rested well on the plane, was fatigued while driving and couldn’t react in time. He crashed directly into it.
The highway was just outside the village. Song Jin didn’t need to think to know that Song Xinglan was coming to find him.
Then Zhao Hai told him that there was a cake in the back seat of Song Xinglan’s car during the accident.
So Song Jin asked about the time of the accident. Sure enough, it was the night of his birthday.
He felt like it was absurd, laughable, and perplexing.
They hadn’t seen each other in three years, so it was impossible for Song Jin to believe that Song Xinglan had returned to the country specifically to celebrate his birthday. He only knew that it was possible that every move he made was being monitored by Song Xinglan. Therefore, the whole point of the matter wasn’t the birthday or the cake, but that Song Xinglan had come to find him.
What could he possibly want? It would be nothing more than the same as three years ago: insults, torment, and rape.
If Song Xinglan hadn’t had a car accident that night, what would he have faced? Tang Min and He Hao were both there that night. If Song Xinglan had come home and gone crazy, it would have completely destroyed the life that Song Jin had painstakingly built over the past three years.
Song Jin wasn’t so dark-minded as to think that Song Xinglan deserved the car accident. But he was genuinely fearful. He was afraid that the cold-blooded lunatic would appear before him again.
“I especially hate cakes,” Song Jin said, looking at Song Xinglan as he enunciated each word, “especially the ones you give.”
Song Xinglan looked straight into Song Jin’s eyes, seeming to think for a moment. He then said somewhat seriously, “Then… then… we won’t eat cake.”
Then he got up and started clearing the dishes. His brother had gotten up early to make breakfast, and since he had eaten so much, Song Xinglan felt that he had to do the dishes.
Song Jin didn’t stop him. He just looked indifferently out the door.
Song Xinglan took the dishes to the kitchen. It wasn’t long before there was a crisp sound of breaking. Song Jin, unsurprised, got up and walked to the kitchen.
A bowl had been broken. Song Xinglan was standing there in a daze. When he saw Song Jin coming, he immediately squatted down to pick up the pieces, saying, “Sorry. Sorry. I’m sorry.”
Just as Song Jin was about to tell him to stop, Song Xinglan gasped. He jerked his hand back as if he’d been shocked, looking at the cut on his index finger.
Back then, he didn’t utter a sound when he was stabbed or punched. But now he feels pain from such a small cut.
Song Jin grabbed a broom to clean up the broken pieces. Song Xinglan stood to the side, clutching his finger, and asked anxiously, “Ge, my… my hand… It’s bleeding. What should I do?”
“Rinse it with water, dry it, and wrap it with a paper towel,” Song Jin said without looking up.
“Oh…”
After sweeping the floor and washing the dishes, Song Jin left the kitchen and saw Song Xinglan sitting on a chair outside the door. He was looking down at his finger, which was wrapped in paper towels like a bun.
Song Jin could clearly feel that Song Xinglan had grown taller. His frame had fully developed and his features had matured distinctly. In person, he was even more stunning than in the previous blurry photos. If he hadn’t lost his mind, his face would never have shown such a naive and cautious expression. It would have been colder and more intimidating.
Once regarded by outsiders as a paragon, he had now become an idiot who could stare at his own finger for half a day.
When Song Xinglan heard footsteps, he looked up and saw Song Jin standing in front of him, holding a band-aid.
“Ge,” Song Xinglan cautiously began, “I broke… I broke the bowl. Are you… are you very- very angry?”
Song Jin ignored him. He only squatted in front of him, removed the wad of tissue from his finger, unwrapped the band-aid, and wrapped it around his brother’s fingertip.
After putting on the band-aid, Song Xinglan held up his finger, looking at it from left to right. He then gave Song Jin a silly smile, “Thank you. Thank you, Ge.”
Song Jin stood up, looked down at him, and suddenly asked, “Are you here to collect a debt or to repay one?”
Before Song Xinglan could respond, Song Jin continued, “You’ve already taken a lot from me. I really don’t have anything left for you to trample on. And I don’t need you to repay anything. I just don’t want to see you again.”
“Why are you my brother, Song Xinglan?”
Song Xinglan just looked up at Song Jin quietly. His eyes, once filled with cold and ruthless hatred, now shone clear and bright, reflecting the pure light of the morning sun.
Can things be treated as if it never happened? Can he face it again? Can he forget?
No.
But there was no other way. Song Jin could only force himself to see Song Xinglan as a completely new person. The past couldn’t be erased. But when Song Xinglan appeared before him in a vulnerable state, Song Jin truly couldn’t bring himself to enact any cruel or violent revenge.
Because he was different from Song Xinglan. He didn’t want to be a lunatic.
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*Translator’s Note: I have not proofread any of these chapters. So, please pardon me if there are any mistakes. You may point them out to me. I’ll go back through them later. Thanks! -K
Next update: -Daily-
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