Chapter 25 – Looking at the Stars
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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Song Xinglan spent the whole afternoon the day before getting to know all the children in the village. When he came back, he had a lollipop in his mouth. He placed the water bucket by the water pool and ran to knock on Song Jin’s door, saying, “Ge, I’m back.”
Song Jin got up to open the door. Song Xinglan was still barefoot, with mud spots all over his hoodie and jeans, and his face was dirty. He took out two lollipops from his hoodie pocket and handed them to Song Jin, saying, “They gave me these. You take them. I washed my hands. So they’re not dirty.”
Song Jin took the lollipops and said, “Go take a shower and put on slippers. The floor is very cold.”
Song Xinglan nodded and walked to his small room, saying as he went, “I caught a lot of fish. I couldn’t fit them all in one bucket. So I gave some to others. They even invited me to play basketball tomorrow.”
It was better than him sitting alone in his room lost in thought when Song Jin was busy. So Song Jin thought to himself and said, “Then go. But don’t bully the kids.”
After showering, Song Xinglan loudly exclaimed from his room, “No way, Ge! They’re really nice. They even gave me candy.”
Song Jin washed Song Xinglan’s clothes while Song Xinglan swept the yard. After finishing the laundry, they delivered some fish to several elderly people in the village since they couldn’t finish all the fish themselves.
For lunch, they had boiled fish, and for dinner, Song Jin made braised fish. Grapefruit was spinning around their feet, looking very eager and meowing, obviously craving for some. Song Xinglan glanced at the table several times and couldn’t resist asking, “Ge, can I give it a little?”
He thought for a moment and added, “I won’t touch it. I’ll just leave it on the floor. I won’t pet it.”
Since Song Jin didn’t allow him to touch Grapefruit from the beginning, Song Xinglan had never touched it, even when Grapefruit rubbed against his legs. He just watched, never reaching out to touch it.
“You can put some in its bowl,” Song Jin said while eating, “mix it with some rice so that it won’t be too salty.”
“Great!”
Song Xinglan picked up a piece of fish and put it in his bowl. He then scooped out a small corner of the rice, mixed the fish into it, and went to the cat’s bowl. He crouched down, scooped the mixed fish and rice into the small bowl. Grapefruit eagerly devoured it. Song Xinglan crouched beside it, watching with a smile.
Song Jin glanced at Song Xinglan’s profile. The young man who once exuded coldness and hostility now seemed to have truly transformed, becoming simple and sincere. His original nature seemingly gone.
***
After lunch that day, Song Xinglan washed the dishes, rested for a while, and then told Song Jin that he was going to play basketball.
Before he left, Song Jin gave him five yuan.
Song Xinglan seemed like he had never seen money before. He widened his eyes in surprise, shook the money in his hand, sniffed it, and then excitedly asked, “Is all of this for me?”
Song Jin wanted to tell him that five yuan couldn’t buy much. But seeing how happy Song Xinglan was, he didn’t want to dampen his spirits. So he nodded and said, “Yes, you can buy a drink or something from the nearby store if you get thirsty after playing basketball.”
“Thank you, Ge!” Song Xinglan carefully folded the five yuan, put it in his pocket, and then said, “I’m off!”
“Come back early for dinner,” Song Jin said.
“Okay!”
***
As the sky was getting dark, Song Xinglan still hadn’t returned.
Song Jin finished cooking, took off his apron, and went out towards the basketball court.
The basketball court was empty. The kids had already run home for dinner. On a big rock near the entrance of a small store, Song Jin saw Song Xinglan sitting there, eating spicy snacks with his head down.
Song Xinglan looked up and saw Song Jin. He was startled for a moment, then quickly stood up and moved behind the nearby utility pole.
Song Jin wanted to remind him that the utility pole was too thin to hide behind, especially for someone his size.
“Why haven’t you gone home yet?” Song Jin asked him.
Song Xinglan timidly peeked out from behind the utility pole. His eyes were dodging. He hesitantly said, “I’m finishing the spicy snack… then I’ll go back.”
“So eating a spicy snack will fill you up, is that it? You won’t need to eat dinner?” Song Jin asked.
Song Xinglan shook his head.
Song Jin said, “I gave you the money not to buy spicy snacks but to buy drinks in case you got thirsty. How will you eat dinner after eating the spicy snack?”
He felt like he had suddenly turned into a nagging mother. But there was no choice. The person standing in front of him was a fool, so he could only repeat things that he could understand.
Song Xinglan suddenly stepped out from behind the utility pole, explaining urgently, “I didn’t buy the spicy snack. Someone gave it to me. I didn’t buy it.”
“Why did someone give it to you? What about your money?” Song Jin asked.
Song Xinglan lowered his head, looking like a big dog being scolded for doing something wrong. He explained with a mixture of grievance and apology, “I lost it.”
“Maybe I lost it while playing basketball. I put it in my pocket. And after the game, when I wanted to buy something, I couldn’t find it. Maybe someone picked it up…”
“I didn’t mean to, Ge. I didn’t know it would get lost. I clearly put it away properly…”
The loss of five yuan left him heartbroken, regretful, self-blaming, and grieving. As Song Xinglan spoke, he was so upset that he was about to cry. “I looked for a long time. But I just couldn’t find it… Ge, I’m sorry. Don’t give me any more money in the future. It’s all because I wasn’t careful…”
Song Jin pressed his temples and asked, “So you didn’t dare to come home because you lost five yuan?”
Song Xinglan didn’t realise how funny and ridiculous this was. He nodded seriously and wiped his eyes, saying, “I was scared.”
“I’m not going to hit you,” Song Jin said.
“I was just scared,” Song Xinglan lifted his head. The sky had darkened. The tears in his eyes shimmered and trembled under the streetlights. He said, “I was scared you wouldn’t be happy. Scared you wouldn’t like me anymore.”
At this point, Song Xinglan seemed to suddenly remember something and casually asked, “Ge, do you like me?”
Song Jin shook his head.
Song Xinglan immediately burst into tears, “Then what should I do…”
Song Jin, finding him embarrassing, grabbed his sleeve and dragged him home, “Don’t cry outside. Let’s go back and eat.”
“Ge… will you abandon me?”
“Ge, will you leave me?”
“I can wash dishes, sweep the floor, and wipe the tables. I’ll wash my own clothes in the future too.”
“I can even kill fish. Ge, please don’t abandon me…”
He kept chattering and crying all the way, giving Song Jin a headache. Frowning, Song Jin said, “Be quiet for a moment.”
Song Xinglan closed his mouth, lowered his head with red-rimmed eyes, and stayed silent.
***
Song Xinglan was very quiet the whole evening, looking dejected. He ate quietly, washed the dishes quietly, and took a bath quietly.
Song Jin contacted the hospital from his room. The hospital said they would come next week to take Song Xinglan for a check-up.
Song Jin went to the kitchen. In the afternoon, he made some taro balls. Since it wasn’t cold tonight, it was the perfect time for a sweet dessert.
He poured the taro balls into a glass bowl, added milk, and topped it with sago, red beans, and raisins. Then he cut up some mango and kiwi. Holding a large bowl of taro ball milk dessert, he prepared to go upstairs. He had looked outside in the yard not long ago, and the weather was good tonight, with bright stars.
As he passed by Song Xinglan’s small room, the door was open.
Actually, ever since Song Jin went to the kitchen, Song Xinglan had been secretly watching. Now, seeing Song Jin holding a bowl of dessert, he couldn’t hold back and shouted from his bed, “Ge, what are you eating?”
Song Jin stopped and said, “Fruit taro balls.”
Song Xinglan asked, “Such a big bowl. Are you going to eat it all by yourself?”
Song Jin pursed his lips, “Yes. I’m going to eat it while watching the stars. I can finish it alone.”
Song Xinglan already had his feet in his slippers, “Where are you going to watch the stars?”
“Upstairs.”
Song Xinglan stood up completely, “I want to go too.”
He swallowed and added, “I also want to eat taro balls.”
Song Jin turned his head away, “Oh, then go get a bowl yourself. I’ll go up first.”
On the second floor, there was a ladder leading directly to the rooftop. The rooftop had a small flat area, enough for someone to sit on.
Song Jin laid a mat on the ground. He had just sat down for two seconds when Song Xinglan came up, holding a small bowl and even bringing a piece of cardboard to sit on.
“I even brought you a piece of cardboard, Ge,” Song Xinglan said, “Oh, you brought a mat already.”
Song Jin didn’t say anything and handed the glass bowl to Song Xinglan. Song Xinglan immediately held his small bowl ready, watching as Song Jin poured the fruit and taro balls into it.
“Thanks, Ge.”
Song Jin looked up at the sky, slowly chewing the taro balls. Song Xinglan took a sip of the sweet milk and said, “This is really delicious. Ge, everything you make tastes great.”
He turned his head to look at Song Jin’s profile and asked, “Ge, are you still angry that I lost the money?”
“No,” Song Jin said.
Someone who had never felt any guilt or remorse for hurting him in the past was now regretting and worrying all evening over losing five yuan.
“If I make a mistake in the future, you can scold me or even hit me,” Song Xinglan said. “Just don’t ignore me or abandon me, okay?”
“I won’t hit you,” Song Jin blinked as he looked at the sky. “You’re not him.”
“Who is he?” Song Xinglan asked with a frown.
Song Jin finally turned his head to look at him and said, “A lunatic.”
“Did he bully you, Ge?” Song Xinglan asked, pointing to the scar on the inside of Song Jin’s wrist, which he had obviously noticed a long time ago. “I have one on my head too. It hurts a lot. Did he bully you, Ge?”
Seeing Song Jin remain silent, Song Xinglan reached out and gently held Song Jin’s hand.
Song Jin stiffened for a second and was about to pull his hand back when Song Xinglan brought his hand to his own lips and kissed the scar.
His expression was gentle and serious. It was quite unfamiliar. Song Jin felt a searing warmth from that light kiss seep from Song Xinglan’s lips into his skin, carried by his blood to his heart, making it beat a little heavier and a little faster.
Song Xinglan looked up at him with deep, dark eyes that were clear and bright. He said, “Ge, no one can bully you in the future. I will protect you.”
A few years ago, the person who almost drove him to suicide and left him in a quagmire was now saying he wanted to protect him. The brightness in those eyes was so fervent and determined that Song Jin, in his daze, really felt that the former Song Xinglan was completely dead. And the person in front of him was indeed someone else.
“I don’t need your protection,” Song Jin said, looking at him. “Just don’t repeat your mistakes. If one day you get better, remember to stay far away from me and don’t torment me anymore.”
Song Xinglan naturally didn’t understand Song Jin’s words. He probably only focused on the phrase ‘stay far away from me’, and immediately became a little anxious. He tightened his grip on Song Jin’s hand and said, “I won’t leave you, Ge. You can’t abandon me.”
Regarding this issue, Song Jin seemed never able to give him a definite answer. Song Xinglan stared at his face. Song Jin’s silence only added to Song Xinglan’s panic and insecurity. Without an answer, he became a little frustrated. However, looking at Song Jin from such a close distance, he suddenly had a thought: the answer could wait. Maybe one day Song Jin would give it to him. But there was something he should do now, or it would be a pity if he missed the chance.
He leaned in and kissed Song Jin on the corner of his mouth.
The fragrance of milk, the aroma of fruits, the cool mountain breeze blowing in the autumn night, the clear and cold moonlight and starlight falling, the distant sound of rustling leaves gently brushing past the ears—everything suddenly amplified in a moment. They then vanished almost instantly. Emotions were colliding and surging, ultimately turning into ambiguous whispers.
Song Jin lowered his gaze and withdrew his hand from Song Xinglan’s. He turned his head, scooped a spoonful of milk to drink, and then said, “Let’s look at the stars.”
Song Xinglan looked at him and said, “Okay.”
***
That night, as they watched the stars, Song Xinglan never looked up at the sky.
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*Translator’s Note: SXL only looks at his Ge. -K
Next update: -Daily-
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