Chapter 37.1 – He is Returning to the Country
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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That day after Song Xinglan left, Tang Min and He Hao didn’t ask any questions. When Song Jin didn’t want to talk about something, they never pressed for details. Song Jin stayed at Tang Min’s house for over a week and was preparing to return to the countryside.
The unexpected appearance of Song Xinglan on New Year’s Eve was too much of a shock for Song Jin. He couldn’t handle it at the moment and, since he hadn’t gathered with Tang Min and the others for a while, he decided to stay at Tang Min’s house for some time. Now that the Lantern Festival had passed, everyone was either working or busy with their own business. Staying any longer would feel like overstepping.
Before returning to the countryside, Song Jin went to the supermarket to buy some things and had dinner at Tang Min’s house. After that, Tang Min and He Hao accompanied him back.
He bought quite a few things, making him wanting to ride the subway as inconvenient. So Song Jin called the e-hailing service.
Within two minutes, a car stopped in front of him. Song Jin checked the licence plate to confirm it was the car he ordered.
But before he could step off the sidewalk, the driver’s door opened. The driver turned out to be Zhao Hai.
“Shushu?” Song Jin was a bit surprised. “Why are you…”
“Quite a coincidence, isn’t it?” Zhao Hai said with a smile. “When I drove past earlier, I saw you and wondered if you were the one who ordered the service. Turns out you really were.”
He took the shopping bag from Song Jin’s hand and opened the rear car door to put it inside. “Come on. Get in the car first.”
As the car started moving, Song Jin sat in the back seat. He tightened the shopping bag a bit and then asked, “Shushu, are you a DiDi driver full-time now?”
He remembered that a few months ago, when Zhao Hai brought the amnesiac Song Xinglan to him, he mentioned that Song Xinglan was supposed to arrange a job for him. He wondered why Zhao Hai was still driving for DiDi. It wasn’t a day off today. So Zhao Hai shouldn’t be out earning extra money.
“Yes. I’ve been doing it for a few months now,” Zhao Hai said, steering the car. “I’ll keep driving for a while longer before my official job starts, just to earn some grocery money.”
“It sounds like you found a new job,” Song Jin smiled. “That’s great. Where will you be working, Shushu?”
Zhao Hai seemed quite surprised. He glanced at Song Jin through the rearview mirror and asked, “Xinglan didn’t tell you?”
Song Jin was taken aback. “Tell me what?”
“About him coming back to start his company in the country,” Zhao Hai said, seemingly more confused than Song Jin. “I thought you two brothers would have talked about this by now.”
“Xinglan’s company in Toronto is preparing to go public. Once things are stable over there, he plans to come back. It seems he found a subsidiary of the old company here and is using it as a base. He said he wants to develop his business back home and asked me to work for him.”
Zhao Hai sighed with a smile. “He had previously mentioned arranging a job for me at another company. But then he suddenly told me he was coming back and advised me to stop driving DiDi, saying it’s too tiring. Even though I haven’t officially started the job, he’s already started paying me. But I can’t sit still. So I came out to do some driving.”
Taking advantage of the light traffic, Zhao Hai turned to look at Song Jin and asked, “You really didn’t know? Xinglan didn’t tell you he was coming back?”
Song Jin’s fingers were tightly intertwined. He replied softly, “I didn’t know.”
Zhao Hai was momentarily stunned, seemingly recalling the extreme fear and breakdown Song Jin experienced when he brought Song Xinglan to his house. He still couldn’t understand it. He had thought that after Xinglan stayed at Song Jin’s place for over two months, their relationship would have improved somewhat. However, it seemed they were still distant, as Song Jin was unaware of any of this.
“Maybe Xinglan is just… busy,” Zhao Hai said with a comforting smile. “He flew back once on New Year’s Eve. You know, there’s no holiday in Toronto. He had only been back for a little over half a month, and a lot of things were waiting for him to take over again. He said he came back to check the new company’s accounts. But he flew back on the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year. It’s nearly a 30-hour round trip, and he stayed for less than a day. I feel tired for him just thinking about it.”
Song Jin didn’t respond. From his perspective, Xinglan flew back such a long distance only to mock and insult him on New Year’s Eve. Others might see it as extra effort. But he found it absurd.
“Xinglan’s temper is indeed quite bad,” Zhao Hai said, glancing at Song Jin through the rearview mirror again. Seeing his indifferent expression, Zhao Hai changed the topic. “It probably has a lot to do with your father… Xinglan’s mother wasn’t around when he was young. So he inevitably suffered a bit.”
He laughed dryly. “I don’t mean to speak ill of Mr. Song. But he really… wasn’t a good father.”
“When Xinglan was young, there was a time I really wanted to take him to live at my place,” Zhao Hai sighed. “Mr. Song was too harsh on him. A few times when I went to your house, I saw Mr. Song… what’s the word… basically abusing Xinglan.”
Song Jin looked out the window. His tightly intertwined fingers loosened and clenched again, as blood flowed and blocked under his skin. He knew that Xinglan had suffered from Song Xiangping’s domestic violence when he was young. That stormy night with thunder, Xinglan had cried and told him personally. Song Jin knew about it.
He still held the same view. No matter what hardships or sufferings Xinglan had endured, they never justified his violence towards him. Never. He would never forgive such retribution.
“One time, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I stopped Mr. Song and took Xinglan outside, bought him an ice cream. He was crying while thanking me. I asked him where it hurt. But he just shook his head. I asked if he wanted to go home and he said no. I asked where he wanted to go. He said he wanted to go to the amusement park.”
“So, I took him there. He said he wanted to ride the carousel. I asked if he had ridden it before. He said yes, with his mom and brother.”
“He must have missed you both a lot back then, being so young and treated so harshly by Mr. Song. Xinglan’s heart must have longed most for his mom and brother… Later, when he grew up, he became temperamental and cold. But he was always very polite and courteous to me. Probably because he remembered how kind I was to him when he was little.”
Zhao Hai finished, gripping the steering wheel, and sighed. “Luckily, he’s grown up now. And his company is doing so well. I thought he’d stay in Toronto for good. But it turns out he wants to come back and even plans to arrange a job for me.”
Song Jin was silent for a while before saying, “You are a good person. These are things he should do for you.”
Zhao Hai probably didn’t catch the hoarseness in Song Jin’s voice. He smiled, “It’s not about what should or shouldn’t be done. If someone remembers you, that’s a matter of affection. You two brothers are living good lives now. When it comes to family, it’s really just you two left in the Song family. Whatever issues arise, you should try to resolve them well. You’re blood brothers. There’s no obstacle you can’t overcome together. And there’s no conflict of interest between you. Isn’t that right?”
Song Jin looked at his profile. People often are worldly, yet in some aspects, they are extremely naive. No one would ever imagine the dark and twisted entanglements between him and Song Xinglan. Zhao Hai wasn’t offering advice from a moral high ground. He was genuinely unaware, so his words were sincere. Song Jin wondered what Zhao Hai’s attitude would be if he knew about the matters between him and Song Xinglan.
Every well-meaning piece of advice from Zhao Hai was like a needle, piercing Song Jin’s skin, causing pain that was indescribable.
To this day, Song Jin really couldn’t figure out what kind of mindset Song Xinglan had when it came to him. He knew that as a child, Xinglan must have missed him and their mother terribly. And as a teenager, Xinglan had hated and resented him profoundly. But why, after he lost his memory, was the only person he remembered still him?
The dependence, frankness, and sincerity shown during his amnesia—were they the deepest hidden truths of Xinglan’s heart? Or were they just childlike purity resulting from his head injury?
The answer was actually very clear. It was probably the latter. When Xinglan regained his memory and stood in front of him, the cold and cutting words had long settled everything. But what Song Jin could never understand, going back and forth in his mind, was always that phrase, “I want you to love me.”
That was almost the only phrase that Xinglan said consistently both during and after his amnesia. The difference was that one made Song Jin’s heart tremble as if in a dream, while the other left him panic-stricken and utterly defeated.
– “Just liking me is not enough. Not at all. I want you to love me.”
– “Because I want you to hate me, and I also want you to love me.”
It was obvious who the real lunatic was.
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*GLOSSARY:
- Mama = mom/mommy
- Gege/Ge = (Big) Brother
- Baba = Dad
- Shushu = Uncle
- Ayi = Auntie
- Didi = (Little) Brother
☝🏻Reiteration…
- DiDi Chuxing, commonly referred to as DiDi, is a Chinese transportation company that provides various e-hailing services, including taxi hailing, private car hailing, social ride-sharing, bike-sharing, and even chauffeur services.
Next update: -Daily-
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