(M) Chapter 50 – A Schrödinger
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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In the following two days, Song Xinglan was busy with various meetings and social engagements from early morning until late at night, as was expected for someone who had just returned to the country.
Grapefruit ultimately had to be taken to be neutered. Before the surgery, the doctor asked Song Jin to put on a bit of a performance, to show that he was reluctant to let Grapefruit undergo the procedure. This way, after the surgery, Grapefruit wouldn’t hold a grudge against Song Jin.
Holding Grapefruit, Song Jin was unsure how to act. But before he could start, the doctor had already begun, swiftly taking the chubby orange cat from his arms. Grapefruit let out a panicked meow. Understanding the situation, Song Jin reached out his hand and said, “Don’t be afraid.”
The doctor carried Grapefruit into the operating room. Grapefruit, in utter confusion, stretched his neck to look back at Song Jin, meowing incessantly. A nurse blocked Song Jin from following, so he extended his hand towards the cat, trying to appear sincere. “Grapefruit, I’ll save you.”
As the operating room door closed, Song Jin retracted his hand and asked the nurse, “Was that okay?”
“Just average. There was not much emotion,” the nurse critiqued. “Some owners cry and scream, making their cats so scared they go silent. They were very convincing.”
“I’ll try harder next time,” Song Jin said.
He was about to go sit down when he turned and saw Song Xinglan standing a short distance away.
They hadn’t had much time together over the past two days. Song Xinglan woke up early, spent his days at the company, and returned home late at night. Usually, Song Jin would go downstairs to heat up some food for him, wait until he finished eating, and then clean up the dishes. He would also help him undress and then return to his own room to sleep. This had become their routine.
Song Jin knew that Song Xinglan was very tired. Besides, they still couldn’t have normal conversations. So there wasn’t much to say.
Song Jin felt a bit embarrassed, thinking that his poor attempt at acting earlier was probably seen by Song Xinglan.
“You’re off work early today,” Song Jin said, breaking the silence.
“I went to the hospital to change the dressing,” Song Xinglan slightly lifted his left hand, now wrapped in new gauze. “I didn’t feel like going back to the office.”
“Did you drive here yourself?”
“Uncle Zhao drove me here. I told him to go back.”
Song Jin frowned slightly and asked instinctively, “Then how will you get back later?”
“You drove here,” Song Xinglan said, looking at him. “We’ll go home together.”
Though they were blood brothers, the idea of ‘going home together’ had never been part of their lives, making it feel strange and unfamiliar.
Realising his question was a bit foolish, Song Jin just nodded and said, “Sure. The surgery won’t take long.”
When the neutering was done, Grapefruit, still under the influence of anaesthesia, was brought out wearing an Elizabethan collar. His tongue was hanging out and his eyes were barely open slits.
The doctor gave Song Jin some post-operative care instructions. After observing Grapefruit for another hour, Song Jin took him home.
Song Xinglan couldn’t drive for the moment. So he sat in the passenger seat cradling Grapefruit. Song Jin leaned over to check on Grapefruit and noticed tears in the corners of his eyes.
“Was it too painful?” Song Jin whispered softly.
“Perhaps that,” Song Xinglan said, using his tie to wipe away Grapefruit’s tears. “Or maybe he’s just sad.”
Song Jin sympathetically glanced at Grapefruit and then straightened up. He fastened his seatbelt and drove them home.
***
Upon arriving home, Grapefruit had already started to regain consciousness, though his gaze was vacant. Song Jin fetched a bottle to offer Grapefruit some water. But Grapefruit seemed paralyzed, letting the water dribble out of his mouth numbly.
The hospital had confirmed there were no issues. So it seemed Grapefruit was struggling with grief over losing his masculinity, unable to recover from the shadow it cast over him.
“It will be okay,” Song Jin comforted Grapefruit sincerely.
A tear fell from Grapefruit’s lifeless eyes as he lowered his head and closed his eyes, unwilling to face this cruel world any longer.
After dinner, Song Xinglan went to the study. Meanwhile, Song Jin went back to his room to take a shower. After finishing, he went downstairs and prepared an easily digestible nutritious meal for Grapefruit. Grapefruit reluctantly ate a few bites. He then sadly retreated into the dark depths of its cat bed, ignoring everyone.
“You’ll get better,” Song Jin earnestly said to Grapefruit inside the cat bed.
Grapefruit didn’t respond.
As Song Jin was going upstairs, Song Xinglan came out of the study. They exchanged glances. Song Jin pushed open the door to the master bedroom and asked, “Are you going to shower?”
“Mm-hmm.”
They entered the room together. Technically, Song Xinglan’s palm could already bend and move. But theories were one thing and Song Xinglan was another — and Song Xinglan never adhered to theories.
When Song Jin asked if he could undress himself, Song Xinglan only said, “No. It still hurts.”
Song Jin couldn’t just say, “Well, then bear with it and undress yourself.” After all, the wound on Song Xinglan’s hand was indeed taken for him.
“Are you busy?” Song Jin raised his hand to help Song Xinglan untie his tie as he asked him.
“Mm. There were lots of things to do.”
Then there was silence again. Song Jin moved to unbutton Song Xinglan’s shirt. This process was always agonising because he didn’t know where to look. Song Jin would rather Song Xinglan wear a sweater so he could just pull it off and leave. But he had to slowly unbutton each button. No matter where his gaze fell, it seemed inappropriate.
As he undid the last button, Song Xinglan suddenly called him, “Ge.”
Song Jin looked up and met Song Xinglan’s lowered gaze. Song Xinglan reached up and touched Song Jin’s reddened earlobe.
They were so close that some things didn’t need to be said aloud. Communication could be completed through eye contact alone. So when Song Xinglan leaned down to kiss him, Song Jin wasn’t surprised at all because he could clearly see the restrained desire in Song Xinglan’s eyes.
When Song Xinglan kissed, it was aggressive. He pushed Song Jin back until they were against the edge of the washbasin. Song Jin’s hands gripped his shoulders, his body tilting back, somewhat unable to withstand such dominance. Then, he felt himself lighten as Song Xinglan lifted him onto the washbasin with one hand around his waist.
Legs parted, Song Xinglan stood between Song Jin’s legs, one hand holding his waist tightly against his own, the other supporting on the edge of the washbasin. He tilted his head slightly to entwine his tongue with Song Jin’s. The sounds of water and heavy breathing gradually drowned out everything else. Song Xinglan’s hand slipped under Song Jin’s pyjama top and slid down his lower back. His palm was hot, causing Song Jin to tremble.
Song Xinglan withdrew his hand, unbuttoned his own shirt, and threw it to the ground.
“You could undress yourself…” Their lips temporarily parted, Song Jin gasped, “…so why do you make me do it every day?”
“I can’t unbutton my shirt,” Song Xinglan insisted unreasonably as he kissed him again.
The brightness was dazzling. Song Jin closed his eyes as Song Xinglan’s hand slid along his waistband and ventured into the cleft of his buttocks. Song Jin suddenly became somewhat alert and anxious. He grabbed Song Xinglan’s hand from behind, lifted his head, and said, “Don’t…”
Song Xinglan looked up at him. His pitch-black eyes were filled with intense desire. He said, “I understand.”
He understood that Song Jin couldn’t completely accept it immediately, whether due to past memories or facing his own younger brother. There was inevitably a barrier.
Song Xinglan kissed Song Jin’s chin and neck. But his hand moved forward, saying, “I’ll just use my hand.”
***
***
He stepped down from the washbasin with weak legs, washed his hands, and then, head down, tried to leave. But Song Xinglan blocked his way and said, “The belt.”
Earlier, Song Xinglan had only unzipped but hadn’t undone the belt. However, even a fool could tell that Song Xinglan was teasing him intentionally. Song Jin almost angrily said, “Do it yourself.”
“My hand hurts,” Song Xinglan shamelessly replied.
This time, Song Jin didn’t soften his stance. He pushed him aside and left the restroom directly.
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*Author’s Note:
Song Xinglan: Schrödinger’s hand hurts.
-McChicken
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*Translator’s Note: SXL is slowly seducing his Ge… 😏 -K
*GLOSSARY:
- In Chinese slang, “Schrödinger” (薛定谔, Xuē Dìng’è) is sometimes used to describe a situation or a person who is in a state of uncertainty or ambiguity, similar to Schrödinger’s famous thought experiment involving the cat that is both alive and dead until observed. For example, if someone says “他是个薛定谔的人” (tā shì gè Xuē Dìng’è de rén), it could mean “He is a Schrödinger’s person,” implying that the person’s intentions, feelings, or actions are unclear or unpredictable, much like the paradoxical state of Schrödinger’s cat. This usage reflects how Schrödinger’s name has been adapted into colloquial language to convey the idea of uncertainty or ambiguity in various contexts.
Next update: -Daily-
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