Chapter 53 – Family and Lover
Novel Title: 一屋暗灯 (Ephemeral Light)
Author：麦香鸡呢 (McChicken)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 宋谨 (Song Jin -MC), 宋星阑 (Song Xinglan -ML)
*Please read at Novels Space.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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A few days later, it was Grapefruit’s first birthday.
It was quite tragic. Just before its first birthday, Grapefruit was neutered, casting a shadow of sorrow and pain over the occasion.
Song Jin went to He Hao’s dessert shop to order a small cake for Grapefruit and ended up having lunch with Tang Min and He Hao.
Song Jin had been back in the city for several months now. Previously, when Tang Min and the others asked where he was living, Song Jin always vaguely said he was renting a place, unsure of how long he would stay at Song Xinglan’s place and not wanting to discuss it. But today, He Hao asked again. So Song Jin mentioned the name of the residential complex.
He Hao’s hand trembled and his meat dropped on the table.
“Am I hearing this right? You lived there?” He Hao asked him. “Song Jin, did you do something illegal or improper?”
Tang Min pondered for a moment and said, “Mr. Song, tell us the story behind you.”
“There’s no story.” Song Jin took a sip of soup. “The house belongs to my younger brother. I’m just staying there.”
“Does your brother still need another older brother?” He Hao pointed at himself. “Ask him if someone like me would be acceptable—I’m a college graduate, can cook and clean, and owns a dessert shop.”
Song Jin looked at him for a few seconds and replied seriously, “Probably not.”
In truth, Song Jin was feeling a bit awkward. Tang Min had encountered him and Song Xinglan before, and Tang Min had always assumed that Song Xinglan was some unclear ex of Song Jin’s. He would never imagine that Song Xinglan was actually Song Jin’s own younger brother.
Then Song Jin remembered Han Zhuo. Han Zhuo knew that Song Xinglan was his younger brother. But he didn’t know about their ‘other’ relationship.
So now Song Jin was praying fervently that there wouldn’t be a situation where he and Song Xinglan, Tang Min, and Han Zhuo all met at the same time. If that happened, everyone would find out about him and his own younger brother…
Song Jin couldn’t even imagine how awkward that would be.
After lunch, Song Jin went to the library and read until evening. He then went to the dessert shop to pick up the small cake before driving back home.
Upon returning, Song Jin went to the kitchen to cook. The front door was open and Grapefruit lay on the swing frame in the yard with his belly up, basking in the setting sun. The evening light fell on his bare legs, casting a somewhat desolate and melancholy scene.
The gate was pushed open. Grapefruit immediately flipped over alertly to look outside. Seeing it was Song Xinglan, he let out a meow and then flopped back down lazily like a salted fish.
Song Xinglan walked over to the swing frame. He leaned down slightly and stroked Grapefruit’s chubby belly. Grapefruit squinted contentedly, stretching out his limbs.
After petting it for a while, Song Xinglan said expressionlessly, “Little eunuch.”
Grapefruit’s tail twitched like he had been stung.
Song Jin was always serious when doing things, whether it was reading or cooking. He dipped a chopstick into the pot of soup to taste it, found it not salty enough, and reached for the salt. When Song Xinglan’s hand rested on his lower back, Song Jin was startled and dropped the chopstick on the floor.
He turned around, looking somewhat shaken. He asked, “What are you doing?”
“Just looking,” Song Xinglan replied.
He calmly bent down to pick up the chopstick and went to wash it by the sink. Song Jin felt frustrated but didn’t care whether the dish was salty enough anymore. He just turned off the stove and plated the food.
Grapefruit’s birthday was timed precisely by Song Jin down to the minute. When Grapefruit was born, Song Jin was at a villager’s house and immediately took a liking to the smallest one. Who would have thought it would grow so chubby now.
At ten to nine, after Song Jin finished showering, he went downstairs to celebrate Grapefruit’s birthday. It might seem a bit childish. But it was Grapefruit’s first birthday, and he was recently neutered, so Song Jin wanted to comfort him sincerely.
Song Xinglan also emerged from the study with a small gift box in his hand.
Song Jin asked him, “What is it?”
“A gift,” Song Xinglan said.
Grapefruit was adorned with a small party hat, seated on the coffee table with a small cake in front of him. His expression didn’t show whether he was happy or not, but he was clearly a bit bored.
Song Jin only turned on the floor lamp next to the sofa, lit the candles, took a few photos of Grapefruit, and sang a birthday song for him. Eventually, Grapefruit got annoyed and swatted the candles out with his paw, clearly feeling disgruntled.
Although it was Grapefruit’s birthday cake, it wasn’t for him much. Song Jin only let him lick a small bite, then placed a bowl of cat food in front of him.
Song Jin ate Grapefruit’s cake. He still avoided the cream. He only ate the cake base with fruit in it. He asked Song Xinglan, “Aren’t you going to show him his gift?”
Song Xinglan didn’t say anything. He opened the box revealing a ring inside. It was a platinum ring with a black diamond, simple in design yet captivating. It exuded a deep, serene beauty in the dim light.
“Grapefruit doesn’t seem like he can wear this,” Song Xinglan took Song Jin’s hand and naturally put the ring on his finger, saying, “It can only be worn by the cat’s owner.”
The ring fit perfectly on Song Jin’s fair and slender finger. The black diamond accentuated the elegance of his hand. Song Jin remained quiet for a while before asking, “When did you get this?”
“I didn’t buy it,” Song Xinglan said. “When I went to Brazil before, there was a gambling stone event. I picked one and luck was on my side. After cutting the raw stone, we found it was of excellent quality.”
“When I returned to Toronto, I worked with a jewellery designer to create this design.” Song Xinglan rubbed Song Jin’s finger gently. “It took over two months to make. I couldn’t help much. I just observed and participated in the simpler aspects.”
Song Jin looked at him and said, “You shouldn’t gamble on stones anymore.”
“Just that one time,” Song Xinglan replied.
Song Jin withdrew his hand, feeling the presence of the ring on his finger suddenly unfamiliar. After taking a bite of the cake, he lowered his head. He looked at his finger and suddenly asked, “Will you… be good to me?”
His question came somewhat abruptly. But Song Xinglan answered, “I will.”
Song Jin smiled slightly. “I know that you have a bad personality and a difficult nature. But when I think about it, you never seem to lie. There are things you don’t want to say, refuse to say, but you’ve never lied to anyone. So I believe you. I trust you just this once.”
However, Song Xinglan replied, “I’ve lied before.”
Song Jin looked up at him, asking, “When?”
“A few years ago, when I said you were mediocre,” Song Xinglan met his gaze and said, “That was a lie.”
Song Jin was taken aback. The cake in his mouth seemed to lose its taste. Yet, it didn’t feel dull. Song Jin looked down at the ring. He was silent for a long time, then said, “Song Xinglan, I want to give you a chance.”
“Not another chance. But just this one chance. Because the past doesn’t count anymore. I don’t want to dwell on it.”
Song Xinglan watched him without saying a word.
“I hope you know, I will accept you. Not out of compromise, not because I can’t love anyone else after experiencing this with you, not because I feel inferior and think I don’t deserve anyone else, and not because I have no other choice. It’s because I want to remove all the bad things between us and cherish whatever good remains, even though it’s not much. I hope you feel the same.”
He paused before taking another bite of fruit and continued, “I fear trouble. And I don’t like bothering others or getting too close to people. I also don’t like getting involved in too many relationships. But you’re different… So from now on, you have to give me more assurance. Or I might get scared and regret it. My trust in you isn’t very high yet. You have to show me you can be a good brother.”
Song Jin pursed his lips. His voice softened as he said, “And be a good boyfriend too.”
These words almost exhausted all his courage and the tiny bit of stubbornness he had never shown before in his personality. Yet Song Jin felt it was necessary. He abandoned moral ethics to accept his own younger brother according to his heart’s desire. He wanted more security and more commitment. He wanted to be relied upon and to rely on others. They were mutually giving, a kind of relationship beneath their blood ties. They needed to face each other honestly to gradually let go of guilt and move forward more easily.
“I can do that,” Song Xinglan said.
He looked into Song Jin’s eyes. In the close distance between them, he said each word distinctly, “Ge, I will do it.”
Song Jin didn’t ask for much. He knew Song Xinglan hadn’t lied or merely placated him, and that was enough.
The rollercoaster of emotions, the highs and lows, could all come to an end now. What they needed to do was gradually fill the time ahead with everyday moments they had never experienced, childish jokes, and ordinary dialogues. Since the scars on their bodies couldn’t be erased, there was no need to try. The evidence of past hatred made their current rebirth more precious.
Leaning in, Song Jin tilted his head to kiss Song Xinglan. The cake regained its rightful sweetness. In the soft glow of the dim lamp, they drew infinitely close. Song Xinglan held Song Jin’s hand, along with that brand new ring, warming their intertwined palms.
Suddenly, Grapefruit raised his head from eating cat food and meowed while watching them.
In the shadows cast by the dim light, there were two people bonded by blood, inseparable forever. Even if one day the surrounding lights went out, it would only be because they wanted to sleep peacefully in the darkness. When they opened their eyes again, it would always be the start of a new day.
Family and lover—if fate dictates that you can only be both to me, then I am willing.
———— The End ————
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*Author’s Note:
Finally finished writing. This novel originated from a chance discovery in the drafts. Seeing that there were 50,000 words stored in the drafts, I decided not to let it go to waste and published it with this mindset. It’s done now.
I’ve always wanted to write a somewhat realistic-themed piece. Although it still has many shortcomings, I consider it completed. I believe the essence of a story lies in its characters and emotional core. My writing skills are not sufficient, so I could only try my best to tell the story well. Therefore… if anyone wants to write fanfiction or recommendations later, please do so. But please do not mention my writing skills. I really don’t have that. Any mention of it would only make me feel ashamed. It’s just a piece of psychological melodrama, plain and simple. As long as everyone enjoys reading it, that’s all that matters.
Also, ‘Ephemeral Light’ may be published in simplified Chinese, and the published version will include exclusive extras. If you’re interested in the physical version, please follow my Weibo. I’m also looking forward to seeing a nice cover for this book, giving a concrete representation of the story.
Apart from the exclusive extras in the physical edition, I’ll continue writing other extras these days, such as ghs, everyday life snippets, arguments, moments when Song Jin gets drunk and calls his brother, and silly videos saved on Song Jin’s phone. I also want to write from Grapefruit’s perspective. I won’t publish these extras as scrap drafts. For details, please check my Weibo. I’ll update another extra later tonight.
In conclusion, thank you for your company and liking this story. This novel is very simple, but writing it was extremely difficult because I’ve been really busy, busy to the point of crawling. That’s why daily updates turned into updates every other day from the beginning. Thank you for waiting and commenting.
Originally, I planned to just say “The End” and sign off. But I ended up saying so much. After all, we’ve been accompanying each other for over two months, so I hope I can share some of my thoughts from a writer’s perspective with you. Also, thank you for reading up to this point.
See you in the next work. Thank you all.
Weibo: @麦香鸡呢
-McChicken
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*Translator’s Note: There will be an extra chapter next. Only one. I didn’t order the hardcopy of the book so I’m not sure about the existence of those other extras that the author had mentioned. But we’ll see in the future if I can get a hold of that book. By the way, I’m so touched by the fact that now, the cake has regained its sweetness for SJ. He deserves all the good things in life.😭 I’m so invested in this fictional character. I want him to be happy. -K
*GLOSSARY:
- In Chinese slang, “ghs” stands for “搞黄色” (gǎo huáng sè), which literally translates to “doing yellow things.” It is often used to refer to activities or content that are pornographic or sexually explicit in nature. The term “yellow” (黄色) has long been associated with such content in Chinese culture.
The cover and the hardcopy versions=
Next update: -Daily-
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