Xing Lixuan is just at the age of youthful vigor, and he has been without it for so long. At this point, he is going to be driven crazy by Yu Antong.
However, Yu Antong was still lying under him. As if he was innocent, he batted his eyelashes at Xing Lixuan, saying, “Husband, move quickly, I will count for you.”
Xing Lixuan was doing push-ups. He gritted his teeth and said in a deep voice, “Little villain, just wait for me!”
Yu Antong kissed Xing Lixuan especially cooperatively when he pushed down, their bodies pressed against each other. Yu Antong, fearlessly, kept provoking him. “If you have the ability, come now.”
The veins on Xing Lixuan’s forehead tensed up, and a drop of sweat fell to the corner of Yu Antong’s mouth with his movements. Before he raised his hand to wipe it off, Yu Antong stretched out his tongue and licked it.
Something exploded in Xing Lixuan’s head.
In the end, his exercise had to be stopped midway. The two were entangled in many imaginable ways. They were only short of negative distance contact, and beside that, they did everything else they could do.
Little Fairy Yu was hugged by Xing Lixuan and took a bath, then fell asleep contentedly.
Xing Lixuan stared at Yu Antong’s exquisite face for a while, and wrote another entry in his ledger. Putting his wife in his embrace, he closed his eyes as he drifted off to sleep.
—
On the weekend, Yu Antong’s driving coach sent him a message asking when he would be free to learn to drive.
Yu Antong felt guilty for a while, since he passed the theory test of Subject 1, he never went to a driving school again.
First of all, he was swamped with his work and the new opening of the factory. And after that, Xiao Nian was born, and all his energy was directed there. He forgot about his driving lesson.
He was quite free, so much so that he thought about how to “drive a car” with Xing Lixuan every day.
Yu Antong was about to reply to the coach, saying that he would go now, when he typed half of the words, he suddenly deleted them all.
He remembered a social news story that he saw some time ago: A student was learning to drive, but he mistook the gas pedal for the brake, stepped on it, and smashed through the wall of the driving school…
Because of this incident, many jokes related to learning to drive have emerged.
[The coach asked: what is the first step you need to do before driving? When the answer – putting the seat belt on – came to the tip of my mouth, I instead answered: “putting the condom on.”] (this is a wordplay in Chinese. Seat belt is 安全带 (an quan dai), while condom is 安全套 (an quan tao))
[There used to be a tree in the driving school, but it disappeared when I went there.]
[I stepped on the gas pedal in panic one time, and that one time I drove the car into a stinky, muddy ditch. After that, I was expelled from the driving school.]
[I got my driver’s license and learned all kinds of swearing methods from the coach.]
Yu Antong laughed like crazy when he saw these jokes before, but now he was being urged to learn how to drive by the coach, and all of the sudden, he didn’t find those jokes humorous anymore.
Yu Antong believed that with his IQ level, he would never become such a joke. But he remembered his ability to go into social news at the drop of a hat – he then solemnly decided that he better not jinx himself.
What if it gets on social news again!
When the Immortal’s Banquet was not well-known, he got Han Lele’s “blessing” and made it into social headlines. That situation was already embarrassing enough, and made him the butt of a joke for a long time.
With his current popularity in the country, if he was on the social news again, he would be ridiculed by netizens all over the country. Maybe the previous incident would be picked up again and laughed at.
After all, netizens are all idlers.
Yu Antong couldn’t bear this risk. His dignity as a human being is on the line here.
<Yu Antong>: Coach, please wait for another two weeks.
Yu Antong thought for a moment, made a very prudent decision, and clicked send!
Then he shouted Xing Lixuan outside the door with a loud voice, “Husband~”
Xing Lixuan, who was watering the rose garden in the yard, patted the dust off his hands, came in and said, “What do you want me to do?”
Yu Antong said with a cute face, “My dearest husband, teach me how to drive, pretty please?”
In view of Yu Antong’s bad record of “driving” at home every day during this period, Xing Lixuan’s mind immediately went to the gutter. He automatically interpreted “driving” as in “asking for sex”.
So when he heard his words, Xing Lixuan blurted out, “It’s broad daylight, don’t be so brazen.”
It’s true that when their parents are not at home, this little workman is like a succubus who finally got away from his restriction, wandering around endlessly.
When it comes to driving, who can compare to this little master?
Yu Antong didn’t know why Xing Lixuan reacted so strongly. “I just asked you to teach me how to drive, and I didn’t want to drive with you. Why do you think of that?”
Xing Lixuan was full of doubts. “Do you really want to learn how to drive? As in, a real car?”
“Mn, otherwise?!”
It was only then that Xing Lixuan realized that Yu Antong really wanted to learn to drive, this time he was overthinking, but what did Yu Antong say next?
Xing Lixuan coughed and said, “Didn’t you apply for a driving school?”
It’s no wonder that he was thinking wrong, Yu Antong clearly signed up for a driving school, so it’s normal for him to not immediately make the connection.
Yu Antong said, “I’ve heard people say that the coaches are very fierce and even curse at the students. You should teach me how to drive first, and then I’ll go to the driving school to practice.”
Xing Lixuan frowned upon hearing this. “Did your coach scold you?”
“No, no.” Yu Antong hurriedly clarified to the coach who he had only met a handful of times. “I haven’t learned how to drive yet, how can I be scolded? I just saw many testimonies that said things like that, so I thought, why don’t I learn by myself at first? Especially since if you are nervous, it’s easy to make stupid mistake. That’s why, can you teach me first?”
“Teach you now?”
Xing Lixuan agreed and didn’t take it seriously. After all, he thought learning to drive was quite easy. He remembered that when he first learned to drive, it didn’t take long for him to get started.
But he didn’t expect that the two of them would almost get divorced because of this.
The villa they live in is built on a mountain, with a mountain road behind it. There are few vehicles on it. Even though it’s technically a “mountain road”, it is very wide, with small curves and a wide view. It is a good training ground for novices.
Xing Lixuan drove his car out of the garage, “You take the co-pilot first, and I’ll take you for a drive, so you can watch.”
After Yu Antong got into the car, he said to Xing Lixuan in a good mood, “Ah~ husband, you really love me.”
He had no idea that he would have an argument with Xing Lixuan an hour later.
“The far left is the clutch, the right is the brake and accelerator. Put your left foot on the clutch as you ignite the engine.”
Xing Lixuan told Yu Antong the basics while turning the key to start the car.
“When shifting gears, shift to the first gear first, do not overstep the gear, slowly lift the left foot to release the clutch…”
Taking Yu Antong around, Xing Lixuan asked, “How is it, do you understand?”
Yu Antong shook his head, with a straight face, said, “Laoshi, I don’t know how to do this.”
Xing Lixuan said patiently, “What didn’t you understand?”
Yu Antong said very frankly, “I don’t understand anything. You did the action, but I can’t see them, so I can’t tell what you are saying. Plus, you said so much at once, and I can’t remember any of them.”
Yu Antong felt that this was not his problem. How could a car idiot who was just learning to drive remember a series of so many operations.
Student Yu is very confident. Since it’s not his problem, it must be the coach’s teaching method is wrong.
He boldly questioned Coach Xing, “Shouldn’t you teach me step by step? For example, you teach me to put in gear or turn the steering wheel first?”
Xing Lixuan himself thought it was simple, and didn’t think what Yu Antong said was worth practicing alone.
But since Yu Antong can’t remember what he said, it doesn’t matter if he teaches like this.
“Get off.”
The two got out of the car and exchanged driving seats. Yu Antong sat in and Xing Lixuan was the co-pilot to guide.
“Practice starting the ignition first.” Xing Lixuan said, “Depress the left foot clutch to the end…”
At the beginning, the two were calm, and even the atmosphere was warm and loving. After an hour:
Seeing that Yu Antong was about to hit the roadbed with his car, Xing Lixuan stretched out his hand to pull the steering wheel, “If you turn the corner and don’t turn the steering wheel, are you going to hit it and commit a double suicide with me?”
“Ahhh, don’t move my steering wheel, I know I have to turn the steering wheel to the left, am I doing it!”
Xing Lixuan was speechless for a while. “Since turning the steering wheel is so slow, then press the clutch and drive slowly.”
Yu Antong retorted. “The speed of the car is already very slow, how can it be slower! I want to learn to drive, not to learn to be a snail.”
Xing Lixuan gradually lost his patience, and it was too exhausting to teach Yu Antong to drive, “You have a rule to draw a line during the test. With your speed and reaction, you will definitely cross the line.”
Yu Antong became irritated by being told all the time. “I know, I know, don’t talk about it anymore, I’m just starting to learn, it is necessary to strictly follow the standards”
Xing Lixuan took a deep breath and calmed himself down. It’s nothing, isn’t it even if he taught it dozens of times and didn’t teach it. Okay, don’t worry, he isn’t in a hurry.
Since Yu Antong wants to drive fast, let him experience it first, he said, “Press the clutch to shift to second gear.”
Yu Antong exerted great strength on his hand, and hung it several times, wishing to break the gear, but the gear lever still didn’t move at all.
Yu Antong clicked his tongue. “I can’t switch it, what’s going on?”
Xing Lixuan took two deep breaths, but it didn’t work, “Depress the clutch to the end first, how many times have I said it?! If you don’t press the clutch to the end, the gear cannot be shifted!”
“I know, don’t be fierce to me! The more fierce you are, the less I will remember.”
“Stop for a while, step on the brakes, and pull over for a rest.” Xing Lixuan felt that it was necessary for Yu Antong to practice on the spot for two days before going on the road, otherwise his blood pressure would soar due to Yu Antong’s incompetence.
As soon as he said that, Yu Antong stepped on the accelerator pedal instead.
Xing Lixuan’s forehead was throbbing with blue veins. “That’s the gas pedal, I told you to step on the brake…”
Before he finished speaking, he slammed on the brakes, and he fell forward suddenly due to inertia, and then was pulled back by the seat belt and leaned back hard.
“Step on the brakes slowly, step on the brakes slowly! How many times have I said it! Why can’t you remember?” Xing Lixuan lowered the window, grabbed a handful of hair up irritably, looked out the window, took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
He used to think that only incompetent people would yell to solve problems, but now he finally understands those people. It is really difficult to keep one’s sanity in the face of some idiots. He felt if he can’t yell it out, he’ll burst out in anger from his chest.
Yu Antong was upset by Xing Lixuan’s loud voice, and began to regret letting Xing Lixuan teach him. Not to mention unprofessional, and his attitude was even worse. Those driving school coaches are more gentle than him!
When he calmed down a bit, Xing Lixuan said, “I know why those coaches love to swear. If the students are like you, if they don’t swear to vent, they will go crazy.”
Yu Antong exploded, jumped over the central controller, and threw himself on Xing Lixuan. “Xing Lixuan, do you want to fight!”
Xing Lixuan caught him. “You’re already stupid, if we fight, I’m afraid your IQ will get lowered.”
“Why am I the stupid one?! Obviously you taught me wrong.” Yu Antong bit his shoulder, “I can’t live this life anymore! Divorce! I demand one now!”
Xing Lixuan slapped Yu Antong’s ass. “Idiot! Don’t talk about divorce casually.”
“Big idiot! As if I’ll ever leave you!”
Xing Lixuan laughed when he heard Yu Antong’s silly words. “Little idiot.”
Xing Lixuan thought to himself, he really fell so deep for Yu Antong in this life.
Even if he was arguing with Yu Antong, he still thought Yu Antong was so cute and he loved him very, very much.
It seems that it is impossible for him to really quarrel with Yu Antong in this life.
Seeing Xing Lixuan laughing, Yu Antong didn’t hold back, and also laughed. “Big idiot, I’m arguing with you, don’t laugh!”
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Tongtong: I want to learn to drive
