“Li Feiya, that’s quite a modern name; it doesn’t sound like it was given in the 70s. Wasn’t it popular back then to name kids Jianshuo, Shufen, Cuiling, and the likes?” Zhao Yunzhi is quite the chatterbox, always finding ways to liven up the atmosphere.
Mentioning the last century is right up Old Yu’s alley, and he starts rattling off a list of popular names from that era—Fugui, Wangcai, Erniu, Jiefang, Shengli, and Champion.
Zhao Yunzhi laughed heartily, finding great company in Old Yu’s tales.
Meng Jin found himself out of the loop, thinking to himself that Zhao Yunzhi really knew how to pick topics right up Old Yu’s alley.
“Li Feiya’s name was definitely changed later. Back then, household registration wasn’t strict, and names could be changed easily, especially among the educated and university-goers who thought Western names sounded trendy. Ever heard of Sophia? Li Feiya probably took the last two syllables, and there are those who took the first two—I know a Zhao Sofia.”
The two of them had a lengthy discussion about names and their connection to the times.
Meng Jin thought of Jennie Yang and always felt her name was odd. Listening to Old Yu’s insights, he understood it was likely changed.
Li Feiya’s secretary ushered the trio into the reception room, where Li Feiya had been waiting for a while. Middle-aged and slightly overweight, she appeared to have taken great care of herself, although the traces of time were relentlessly marking her face.
Li Feiya carried herself with a leader’s authority. Glancing at her watch, she said, “Captain Meng, I apologize, but I can only spare thirty minutes. Let’s begin now.” Her words were polite, but her tone brooked no argument.
Meng Jin nodded. He glanced at Old Yu, who was just about to sit down with no intention of leaving. Meng Jin gave Zhao Yunzhi a look, and understanding the cue, Zhao made up an excuse to pull Old Yu out of the room.
Li Feiya’s lips curled slightly in appreciation of Meng Jin’s thoughtfulness, speaking even more courteously.
Meng Jin wasn’t sure how to start, so he asked Li Feiya to talk about her relationship with Lin Kun.
Perhaps to save time, Li Feiya cut to the chase, “Lin Kun never really liked me. He accepted my confession to ward off other suitors. That’s why we broke up right after graduation. I told people it was because I didn’t want to follow him back to the county.”
She laughed, “Everyone thought I wanted to stay in the city, but actually, he was the one who didn’t want me to go back with him. He initiated the breakup, yet everyone thought I dumped him. I spent over two years as his shield, gaining nothing but a bad reputation in the end.” She chuckled bitterly, a trace of resentment still evident.
Meng Jin offered, “Maybe Lin Kun didn’t explain because he wanted to save your face. After all, it doesn’t sound good for a girl to be dumped by her boyfriend.”
Though Li Feiya was aging and had put on weight, her skin was fair, and her eyes were large; she must have been quite beautiful as a young woman. Even if Lin Kun had someone in his heart, to remain unmoved by a beautiful girlfriend seemed unusual. Was he really a modern-day Lei Feng?
Meng Jin tactfully voiced his doubts, “It’s very likely Lin Kun had feelings for another girl. Did you know, or suspect anything?”
Li Feiya’s gaze turned scornful. “Impossible. His interests didn’t lie with women.”
Meng Jin was surprised. Why was she so sure?
“He never touched me, and he wasn’t interested in other women either. Back then, I thought he was just being a perfect gentleman, that he cherished and respected me. Later, as other girls in our dorm started dating, I realized what normal men are like—you’re a man, you understand.” Li Feiya spoke calmly, seemingly at peace with it now.
Meng Jin thought to himself, Maybe it’s not that he didn’t like women; maybe he just didn’t like you.
He dared not voice this thought, having just enough emotional intelligence to hold back.
“How do you know he wasn’t interested in women?” He asked in a way less likely to offend.
(Li Feiya’s Recollection)
Li Feiya had driven Lin Kun to the bus station against his wishes, and if she could, she would have tied herself to him to be with him at all times.
Lin Kun, worried she might return to a closed cafeteria, bought her a steamer of soup dumplings. She held them close, the warmth seeping into her belly, warming her heart.
Afraid the dumplings would cool, she took a shortcut back to the dorm, passing a dark grove under the moonlight. She glimpsed two figures entangled in the shadows, a man and a woman.
The man was holding the woman, who was pushing back fiercely as the man became more aggressive, using both his mouth and hands. Li Feiya’s heart raced, embarrassment urging her to flee, but a sense of justice stopped her. She felt compelled to save the woman.
She yelled, “What are you doing? Stop molesting her!”
The couple, startled, turned reflexively toward the sound, the moonlight illuminating their faces and meeting Li Feiya’s gaze.
It was clear now. The woman was her dorm mate, Dong Hongxia, and the man was Dong’s boyfriend.
Dong Hongxia ran off in shame. Li Feiya caught up to her, checking if she was hurt or had lost her virginity, insisting on dragging her to report to a teacher or the police if necessary.
Dong Hongxia hesitated, only revealing the truth when Li Feiya threatened to call the police. She hadn’t been forced; she and her boyfriend had been intimate before, and her resistance was just part of their play. Reporting it would only bring her disgrace.
Li Feiya was shocked that Dong Hongxia had already engaged in such unseemly acts with her boyfriend, convinced that a man who truly loved her wouldn’t act so indecently. She proudly claimed that Lin Kun never made physical moves, not even holding her hand.
Dong Hongxia was even more astonished, her small eyes doubling in size. She told Li Feiya that Lin Kun was not normal; normal men were like her boyfriend.
Half-believing, Li Feiya began probing other couples about their interactions, soon realizing Dong wasn’t lying.
Her worldview was shattered, and she started seeing Lin Kun differently, suspecting something was wrong with him physically.
She secretly asked a doctor what symptoms to look for if a man had physical issues and what signs showed he was normal. Then, observing secretly until she caught Lin Kun masturbating in his dorm, she was relieved, confirming his physical health was intact.
But upon reflection, a normal man facing her but never acting like one seemed abnormal. Maybe he didn’t like her?
Lin Kun was respectful and distant with other girls, warm and helpful with everyone, making her realize that aside from the title of girlfriend, Lin Kun didn’t treat her any differently.
Seeing Lin Kun smile at other girls, she wondered if he never smiled like that at her, possibly preferring someone else.
Confused, jealous, and tormented, she didn’t know who to confide in, afraid of being ridiculed or exposing secrets.
She decided to test Lin Kun’s sincerity by deliberately getting caught in the rain and developing a fever. Contacting Lin Kun in the middle of the night, he didn’t hesitate to carry her to the hospital, running around to care for her, making everyone envy her for having such a considerate boyfriend.
She finally felt reassured, convinced that Lin Kun loved her and that he was a true gentleman, unlike Dong Hongxia’s boyfriend.
But half a month later, an incident shattered her again, making her doubt her judgment.
During a department-organized mountain hike, she couldn’t make it halfway. Lin Kun wanted to stay with her, but not wanting to hold him back, she told him to fetch some peaches from the summit. Lin Kun happily continued climbing, blending into the group ahead.
She waited at the spot for over an hour, turning down offers from descending classmates to join them, determined to wait for Lin Kun.
After another hour, the last group descended, and from a distance, she heard familiar voices. Eagerly anticipating sharing the sweet peaches with Lin Kun, she rushed forward only to see Lin Kun carrying a female classmate down the mountain. The girl had twisted her ankle, and Lin Kun, sweaty and exhausted, supported her by the buttocks while she wrapped her arms around his neck, her chest pressed against his back.
The intimacy was unbearable.
It was like a thunderbolt at her feet. Lin Kun was willing to carry not just her but any girl; she wasn’t special.
Worse, Lin Kun didn’t even see her as if she were invisible, continuing down with the other girl. She wasn’t in his eyes or his heart.
She descended the mountain alone and went to the hospital with classmates. Upon entering the room, she saw Lin Kun handing a freshly washed peach to the injured girl.
That was the peach she had asked for, yet he had given it to another girl.
The thunderbolt exploded.
All the confusion, frustration, and jealousy she had felt over the days erupted. She stormed over, snatched the peach from the girl’s mouth, and slapped her hard.
She knew this girl also liked Lin Kun. What was Lin Kun thinking? Was he just accepting anyone? Didn’t he know to avoid suspicion?
Didn’t he realize she was his girlfriend, that he could only carry her, that the peach was meant for her alone? If he wasn’t special to her, it meant he didn’t love her.
Crying, she ran out, feeling like she was the one who had been slapped.
Lin Kun apologized to the girl before chasing after Li Feiya, berating her without understanding the situation, criticizing her for making a scene and being overly jealous, explaining that he had carried the girl down because he had bumped into her.
He thought Li Feiya was just being jealous. Not understanding the turmoil inside her, the thoughts and feelings that led to her outburst.
Her defenses collapsed, and she poured out all her doubts and dissatisfaction, crying.
He was stunned, speechless.
His silence and lack of explanation to Li Feiya seemed like guilt, like a thief caught red-handed.
She hit the nail on the head—he didn’t love her.
But she loved this man too much to give up. She pulled him into her dorm room, closed the curtains, stripped naked, and stood before him.
