Chapter 20: Butterfly Dream
“Aah! Rachel-ojousama!!”
The middle-aged maid rushed toward me with tears streaming from her wide-open eyes and embraced me in her ample body.
“Thank goodness! Truly, it was good! I was so worried that you might not wake up.”
She exclaimed, holding me tightly.
While wrapped in the maid’s embrace, I felt completely bewildered. I was being hugged by a person I didn’t know, a middle-aged maid, and her words added to my confusion. She had called me “Rachel-ojousama.” It seemed she was referring to me, but my name should be Reiko Ninomiya Reiko. Why was I being called “Rachel”… Furthermore, this name seemed vaguely familiar, as if I had seen or heard it somewhere before.
“When I saw Rachel-ojousama collapsed under the tree in the garden, attempting to hang herself, I was beside myself with fear…”
The maid held me even tighter as she spoke.
Her words confirmed that indeed, I had attempted to hang myself, which corroborated what the fairy had said. However, what did all this mean? Was I, injured from the accident, unconsciously trying to hang myself? That couldn’t be. I had no intention of taking my own life. Rather, considering this place, this body, and this name, it felt as if I were tracing someone else’s life…
“Rachel-ojousama! If you are experiencing any distress, please confide in me, Maya! Audrey-sama, your mother, entrusted you to my care. I will do anything within my power to assist you!”
The maid continued.
Her words suggested that even my mother’s name was different here. My real mother’s name isn’t something Western like Audrey; it’s Aoi, a typical Japanese name. Could it be, then, that I am indeed living someone else’s life? Impossible…
But what really is going on here? I recall hearing a story about “Zhuangzi’s Dream” where in the dream he couldn’t tell if he was a man dreaming he was a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming it was a man. Perhaps, this situation is somewhat similar—am I living a dream, or is this reality another form of dreaming?
Am I Reiko, currently dreaming of being Rachel, or am I Rachel, who has been dreaming of being Reiko all this time? Which is it…
“That’s right!”
The maid exclaimed, and let go of my shoulders.
“I must report to the master! Rachel-ojousama, please lie down on the bed and wait; I will call for him immediately.”
With that, the maid gently pushed me towards the bed, bowed quickly, and hurried out of the room, her voice fading as she called out.
“Master!”
Left alone in the room, I sank back into thought. Am I dreaming now, or have I been dreaming up until now? However, considering the vividness of my senses, it’s hard to believe that I am currently in a dream.
Could it be that my life as Reiko was the dream? It’s true there were hardships and sadness, but in my life as Reiko, though brief, I had irreplaceable memories with people like my mother and A-chan. I don’t want to believe that those memories and those people were just a dream…
Yet, as I ponder whether the life I lived as Reiko was a dream, the images and memories from that life seem to fade and blur in my mind.
Confused about who I really am and what my true memories are, I could only clench my fists and hold back tears. As I did so, the noise outside the room grew louder and louder.
“Rachel-ojousama has awoken!”
The maid’s voice rang out, and the door to the room opened without a knock. The maid then ran over to me in a hurry, and a man appeared behind her.
“Here, Master! It’s Rachel-ojousama.”
The maid said, letting the man pass through to me. The plump maid made way for me, allowing me to see the man’s whole body.
Unlike me, he had bronze hair and blue eyes. He had a small moustache. He was wearing luxurious clothing that indicated his status, and was quite tall. He seemed to be in his mid-thirties.
When the man saw me, his expression softened for a moment, but quickly returned to his expressionless state. Then, with a slightly hesitant step, he came over to the side of the bed.
“Here, My Lord, Please use this chair.”
“Okay…”
He took a seat, his gaze fixed intently on me. He clasped his hands together, leaned his torso and head forward slightly as if pondering something, then lifted his head to look at me again. His expression seemed to convey that he wanted to say something, but then he lowered his head once more, unclasped his hands, and returned to his original posture.
The man seemed to be thinking hard about what to say to me, but seemed unable to find the right words.
As for me, the maid had probably brought home a man who seemed to be my father because I had regained consciousness, but this was the first time I had met him and I didn’t know what kind of person he was or what kind of father he was, so I was confused and didn’t know how to respond.
The man straightened up, put his hands on his knees, raised his head as if he had made up his mind, and looked directly at me.
“Rachel, from now on, if you ever need anything, you can consult me or Maya about it… and I’m glad you’ve regained consciousness.”
The man spoke as if those were the best words he could muster at the moment. Unsure how to respond, I averted my gaze from him and after a moment of contemplation, I finally spoke.
“Yes… understood.”
That was all I could manage in reply.
The man let out a soft sigh upon hearing my response and then stood up from the chair.
“For now, just rest. Don’t worry about anything; that’s the best thing you can do…”
With those words, he turned around with a slightly forlorn expression on his face. I nodded in response, and both the man and the maid then left the room.
Alone once again, I let myself sink back into the bed and decided to fall asleep.
TN:
How I translate character titles(?):
Rachel-sama (-chan, -san, -sensei, -ojousama, etc) – will be kept as is
Just Sensei, Ojou-sama (and the likes) – will be translated as “Teacher”, “Young Lady” and such (basically, those that aren’t attached to the names)
